Is everyone properly positioned in a fortress of toilet paper and hand sanitizer for nearly 90 minutes of hollow romance? Fuck yeah, quarantine!
As always, I’ll neglect to comment on 90DF’s hazmat-demanding human plague, other than to note that nipple tattoos are a sign of full-body asshole infection. It’s also my latest entry in the Douchepedia, right between ‘Naming Your Comb Because That’s Normal’ and ‘Not a Reason to Be Jealous, But I Planned This’.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Surface Hell, Nigeria, Lisa wakes up next to her ‘destiny’ after a long night of penis gobbling. She smashes her face into Usman’s, while he insists he wants to sleep until this isn’t a nightmare. But Lisa has jet lag, so he’s going to have to rise and start getting used to his world revolving around her. The afterglow couldn’t be dimmer.
Lisa summons her inner Laura, and says that sex is different in Nigeria, and she was shocked to discover an unexpected resistance to going truffle hunting in her 19-hour jeans-baked travel clam. Usman described the encounter as “70% good of what I expected, and that’s enough.” This gives her a low C for people who haven’t been in school for awhile, and 30% of Usman definitely needs to talk to someone.
While pawing through the drugstore she packed in her suitcase, Lisa unearths condoms for slut people, and they chuckle over the possibility of using them, because the best way to ward of STIs is to openly mock them. Lisa then asks how his first bareback ride went, and Usman’s face suggests he’s been to many, many rodeos, and Lisa was just his first old town road.
The doomed duo then ventures out to meet the yahoo boys for breakfast, and they mention Usman’s mom doesn’t like white folks, and thinks Lisa’s trying to make Usman her slave, because she is. Lisa is baffled to learn that Africans are distrustful of white folks; I mean, things got weird like 400 years ago, and since then Obama was elected and Miley Cyrus twerked without an ass, so isn’t there equality now? Lisa should be able to convince his mom of her pure intentions by either bullying or gloating, which are her only two routes of operation, and if those don’t work, she’ll remind us he’s a celebrity.
When Lisa insists they’ll be married with or without approval, Usman’s yahoo boys look at him in yahoo horror, and Usman walks it back to a decision that will arrive with a spontaneous fit of wisdom, that will just coincidentally be whatever his mom suggests. Nice. I’m using this. Usman confesses to the producers that he lied about being indifferent to his mom’s approval, or maybe wasn’t banking on it until he was feeling D+ devoted. Lisa flounces away, because she still hasn’t noticed she’s in a different country with different cultural norms, and that her yahoo boy is not flouncing after her. This is very on-brand for someone baffled that their likeness wasn’t projected onto the moon for Usman’s video shoot.
Back at the hotel Lisa is packing her hodgepodge suitcase of brown shoes and mullet dresses to travel to Usman’s modest apartment. As they get in the car his phone vibrates away, while Lisa furiously pets her teddy bear gift in hopes of rubbing it to life so she can stuff it with dynamite and send it on a suicide mission to destroy Usman’s female fans. “He has too many followers,” she tells the bear, newly named InstaGrammie. “His career will be a lot more successful if no one is listening to his music. I know things, InstaGrammie. I know.”
Finally they arrive at Usman’s Yahoo Hut of two rooms and a bucket shower, which is luxury to Nigerian bachelors and anyone working in San Francisco. Lisa is shocked to discover those 22K instagram followers didn’t heart-button a mansion into existence, and this is not what she expects from a celebrity trolling online communities for a middle-aged woman. “Thank God we’re staying at a hotel,” Lisa declares, since she’s used to living the high life of body waxing, sugary drinks, and last gasp suitcases. Meanwhile, Usman expresses his discomfort to his friends, and says that she’s even more controlling in person, and doesn’t seem likely to respect his career, which greatly decreases the likelihood of him convincing his mom she’s not looking for a slave.
If we’re going to go Paul, I don’t want Paul Lite, I want Paul 151, because he’s the only one who can be calmer than you are at the reunion after running into the jungle in flip flops with hair in his pocket and a producer hot on his trail. Instead, we’ve got Big Ed, aka Little Paul, prepping for the romantic interrogation of his dearly beloved. He asks for two beds in the hotel room so their genitals can be separated by space, time, logic, and a fortress of condoms and contraceptive foam. Sadly, this has nothing to do with respect; it’s about plans to humiliate her with an on-camera STI test, because he “wants to know he can trust her,” and chlamydia is a sign of betrayal, I guess. If I hadn’t had sex in 28 years, my concern would be whether I was capable of rocking out with my cock out now that the energy and libido of being 22 are but a distant memory, but Ed probably sees sex like a White Snake video, where he’s the car and Rose is the writhing redhead, who remains enthusiastic despite the fact that the engine isn’t even on.
Anyway, Rose mentions that she doesn’t speak English that well, but Ed keeps talking to her, and there’s only so many times she can smile and tilt her head, and wonder if he’s ever going to ask her any questions about herself that don’t sound like accusations. Spoiler alert: he’s not. Ed gives her a San Diego T-shirt to sleep in, and feels bad that she didn’t bring pajamas, and never thinks for a second that this is because she wasn’t anticipating staying at a hotel. Again: that requires asking questions.
Ed brushes his teeth, and opts to prolong his last mayo application by not showering. Apparently me, Jasmin, and Avery are the only people who want to break open a fire hydrant or walk through a human car wash after getting off the sky bullet of stank. Rose tells the producers she’s going to pretend to be asleep so Big Ed can fuck right off, and when he says “goodnight my queen” she responds with: “This is a snore.” Aced it.
The next day Ed wakes up and makes gerbil noises on Rose’s neck, before ordering room service and listening to Rose’s complaints that the room is too cold. I’m on Ed’s side here. Rose is wrong. Then Rose and Ed’s anxiety get into a taxi and head to a market, where Ed declares his intention to take her shopping, but not before he asks if she’s excited he’s in the “Phil-A-PEEEEENS!” This is officially a realistic first date.
At the market he spots some pajamas, and announces his presence to shop-owners with the official 90DF greeting: “Does anyone here speak English?” Rose takes it upon herself to pull the appropriate bills from Ed’s open wallet, likely in response to him saying, “I don’t even know how much that is.” Instead of seeing this as a speedy response to articulated confusion in an environment where a gaping wallet is a bad idea, he takes offense. After a few more purchases and a thoroughly soaked sweaty shirt, Ed whines that he’s hot and needs to be back in air conditioning.
“Have you considered an ice pack vest,” Paul interjects. “And yes, I have an entire basement full of TP in preparation for coronavirus. I’m not going to tell you how many weapons I have, because that could make me a target. In fact, this isn’t Paul. This camouflage means you can’t see me. What’s that over there?” (Running sound.)
Meanwhile, Avery has deplaned and is ready to meet single-ladies trafficker Ash, and she’s nervous about being a stinky hag for their intro. Lucky for her, I can smell the sandalwood on Ash through the tv screen, so between that and her aura of honeycomb and stardust they should be fine. They happily greet each other and declare their initial physical interaction “natural” (not gonna lie, it made me smile).
They head to their AirBnB, and in the car Ash reports that her hands are so “nurturing” which prompts a giggle from Avery, before she retorts that his hands are soft, and he says it’s because all he does it wack it and dunk it in the ocean. She laughs at this, but Ash presents no indication that he’s joking unless the punchline is his pants. Is this what she means by Ash knowing the right things to say? Because he’s at the front of my Douchepedia, under ‘Cult Leader for Vagina’.
Ash shares an apartment with his brother, but said brother doesn’t want Avery to stay there, because she might trip over Ash’s other girlfriends. This makes Avery reasonably suspicious, so she says the bed large enough for her to starfish is hers, and Ash can shove those two twin beds together and fuck the slot in between, until their spirits agree with their genitals. I’m really starting to like Avery. Ash is disappointed in this, but recovers immediately, because as a relationship coach he knows that women are all the same, and will fuck him eventually.
The long box he snagged from his favorite florist to have beers with contains long-stemmed black roses, which she loves because they remind her of how dead inside 90DF viewers are (so?), and he chases this with a fond token commemorating that time she ghosted him. Apparently he posted his-and-her ‘Avery Loves Ash’ bracelets on THE GRAM, and Avery thought that was so cringe that she grabbed Lisa’s InstaGrammie bear and screamed into its stomach. I’d have a similar reaction, but my concept of romance is my boyfriend rubbing a potato on my back to banish a lung disease, so yeah, I‘d better sit this one out. They talk about this, and how she wasn’t ready “accept his love,” but she’s seriously considering it now that she’s on a TV show.
Finally we meet MMmmMmmmmmMM David, the glorious human I’ve been eagerly anticipating since the first preview. David is on the brink of retiring after a successful tech career, and is RV shopping so he can travel the country with his kitty copilot, Mothra. He has to sell a lot of stuff to accommodate a nomadic existence, but intends to cling tightly to his collection of unicycles. Can this guy be my uncle? David, you’re my uncle now. Also, I’m setting you up with Yolanda, if I can recover her from Manchester, ASP.
The Ukrainian woman conning him is Lana, whom you might remember from the time she went by Maria, and they’ve been chatting online up to four hours a day for seven years. She’s stood him for every one of their in-person meetings, because like a lot of people on this show, emergencies and illnesses happen right before air travel. David explains that he’s had a Slavic-lady fetish since his prepubescent wanking to Boris and Natasha, and is okay with spending $100K talking to a fantasy online through an expensive translation site, because he doesn’t feel lonely, and that makes him think it’s a good investment. This might be the most honest answer in the history of this show.
He meets up with friends Dave and Victoria, who confirm David’s wealth by how they carry themselves and the way they express concern for his emotional well-being, but not his finances. Victoria is also Ukrainian, and met Dave on a dating site, but Victoria says that she paid for this herself, and that women over 25 still looking for a man in the Ukraine are hunting for suckers. David is not persuaded by this argument, and his bank account just doesn’t care, and I’m fully on board with David’s comfortable dismissal of logic and evidence.
The site and chat service he uses to communicate with Lana doesn’t allow video interaction unless he’s willing to surrender additional cash, at which point they’ll dust off Maria and have her smile and call him husband. He takes his laptop to a park to chat with her, and get the details of their upcoming meeting in Odessa. He asks how he’ll be able to identify her, and she says she’ll be wearing a blue dress, and hiding under her invisible train ticket. If David smells a rat he doesn’t much care, and is pleased when she sends him a devilish emoji, which he explains is code for THE SEX, a subject that often comes up when he wonders about train tickets. “And I responded MmmmMMmmMMM,” he narrates, and my favorite character since Jihoon has been Frankenstein’d to life.
Later he calls his friend Anya in Ukraine. He met her during his last round of perusing a Ukrainian wifey, and she was a little too shy for David, but they’ve remained good friends…and yet the reason he hasn’t met Lana is that she’s “too shy” for the airport? Okay then. Instead of seeing this as Cesar part 2, I’m going to craft a storyline where Anya is actually Lana, drawing David into a polyamory plot with her current husband. Instead, Anya think he’s naïve for thinking someone who refuses to meet with him after seven years is a solid romantic prospect, and our best bet is the potential for Anya to introduce him to a female friend in fleshy form.
In Yonkers, Stephanie arranges her dogs on her bed to call Erica and her lip injections. She confesses to Erica that she described her as a friend to her family, and Erica goes quiet but doesn’t question it. Erica reports Friday night plans to watch the football final, and Stephanie is jealous because she has no plans, except eating some cheese and watching a movie. This doesn’t inspire giggles or affirmation that this is a solid COVID-19 plan, and that bright light on the horizon is The Doom.
Later, Stephanie packs up, and shows her friend Heather the gifts she got Erica. Stephanie’s gift game is solid, and she reveals a pricey purse she scored that matches Erica’s style so well that I’ll refrain from predictable pumpkin spice commentary. Heather is concerned that Stephanie is all-in already, and Erica won’t be able to drop everything to accommodate Stephanie’s limited lifestyle. She suspects that Stephanie’s eagerness has to do with her mortality awareness, which is underscored by the pharmacy she’s cramming into a suitcase.
Once at the airport, Stephanie reveals that she’ll have to wear a mask to protect herself, and pulls out this sad, scratchy paper mask that she doesn’t really wear in the airport, or on the plane. I have questions, and want to send her a Vogmask as soon as they’re back in production so she can be on trend. Then she can look more like she got lost on the way to the rave, and less like a biohazard waiting to spill onto the runway.
Speaking of biohazards, Darcey, Stacey, and Raina all head to the spa, because that’s what the Kardashians would do. Darcey doesn’t know what the status of her relationship is, because Tom has expressed total indifference, but she hasn’t received any notarized paperwork in triplicate, so it’s all up in the air for Darcey. She calls Tom’s escort a “Darcey lookalike,” and oh honey, no. Instead of addressing the new hand-holster being paraded on THE GRAM directly, she lets all his messages go unanswered, because she needs that scene in New York to happen. Raina chimes in that this relationship is “fucking crazy” and something tells me she says that 30 times a day, and it usually has something to do with Darcey.
Next week Steph meets Erica, MayoMan asks for an STI test, a convicted felon pretends to not be collecting foreign-born spouses to beat, Yolanda wastes our time, Avery meets Ash’s strangely suspicious brother, who looks like a smoking hot villain, Lisa’s campaign of delusion reaches a music video apex, and David happily greets Anya at the airport (and we’re teased that this is Lana).
Thank you, generous Patreon supporters!

And I responded, “MmmmMMmmmMMmm!” Recap of Before the 90 Days S04E4

The ranking of the most colourful characters in Polish football of the 21st century! Part 1/10, (91-100).

Here's the original: https://weszlo.com/2020/03/24/ranking-najbarwniejszych-postaci-xxi-wieku-91-100/
Polish football site Weszło.com made their ranking of 100 most colourful characters in polish football. I decided to translate its 1st part and, if there will be some interest in those stories, I will translate them all.
So here we go:
Polish football is full of colourful, unusual characters. Sometimes they are charismatic leaders, sometimes unforgettable heroes of anecdotes, sometimes it's just plain dickheads. Because we sit at home and get a little bored - we decided to gather all these colorful birds into one ranking. And here is a hundred of the most colourful figures of Polish football in the 21st century. What criteria did we choose? Basically - different. Sometimes we were guided by a person's influence on pop culture, sometimes by a multitude of strange stories, but also by charisma, charm or the level of an unusual CV. The most important thing is that this character is INTERESTING.
We start from the bottom and every day we will throw in a tenth from our ranking (and I will translate it from time to time ~Bartoni17). We chose the form of the ranking with the classic division into places, but remember - it's more of a form of inviting you to a discussion and an excuse to remember the dozens of anecdotes provided by our colorful characters. We realize that it is impossible to compare Bogusław Leśnodorski to Zbigniew Boniek or Jarosław Królewski and Orest Lenczyk. The whole thing is totally discretionary, but we hope that we treated the participants of the series "Polish Football" honestly. We hope that you will smile a few times. Have a nice trip and... until tomorrow!
100. WILDE-DONALD GUERRIER & EMMANUEL SARKI
An ideal kind of foreigners who come to the Polish Ekstraklasa. They raised its level? Undeniably. And at the same time they added some colour, although usually by actions which, hmm, are not MENSA references. When Wilde-Donald Guerrier came to the Wisła, he declared that faith is of great importance to him, he avoids parties and alcohol. And for a long time it was like that, until he came to know Emmanuel Sarki.
Then he turned into a demon. The Kraków's clubs "Coco" and "Frantic" became the second home of the colourful two. There were legends about their erotic conquests, some cannot count the offspring that one of them left behind after a few years in Krakow. People from Wisła clutched their heads in disbelief when Wilde-Donald confessed that he was feeding the child... with raw meat. A few months old child, let's add.
Wild Donald is the protagonist of the most absurd social media accident that happened to an Ekstraklasa footballer. He wanted to upload a picture of his jersey to Facebook, but he threw in a free photo of his cock.
NSFW
Sarki? Another incident that went down in history. In an interview for "Przeglad Sportowy" he revealed: - My great grandfather came to Nigeria from Haiti as a missionary. He died recently, at the age of 132. At the age of 132, which meant that Sarki's great-grandfather was the oldest man in human history. What's more, he beat the second oldest person by thirteen years!
To make it even more funny, Sarki was a Nigerian of blood and bone, and that great-grandfather was supposed to have Haitian roots, which would allow the player to play in the Haitian national team. In the same national team that Wilde-Donald (a hundred percent Haitian) persuaded him to play. When Sarki's call-up to the team came to Kraków, the club asked for any documents confirming Sarki's relationship with Haiti. In response, Wisła read that... the federation is not yet able to send papers. But it will soon.
Both of them were basically identical - a style for an „American rapper”, their own world, and not one by one in their heads. Guerrier had his own brand of clothing and loved cars. At one point in his life he had seven of them. Yes, at once. When one of the fans suggested under the picture of the Porsche Panamera that he should focus on playing instead of cars, he wrote briefly: - Fuck off.
Saying goodbye to the White Star, he wrote to the fan that his mother was a prostitute. He lost himself in the cars to such an extent that one day a lift trucker appeared at the Wisła training. The footballer took a few leases on him, but forgot that... they still have to be paid off.
Franz Smuda said that Sarki and Guerrier would send him to a psychiatrist. Watching the Wisła then had its peculiar charm - one of the Haitian aces was losing the ball, cameraman took a shot at Smuda, and he used his broken Polish-German-English to say the worst things to them. Once he shouted to one of them: - I'll kill you!
Guerrier told the media about Borusia Dortmund's interest, Sarki about Galatasaray. Eventually the first one went to Alanyaspor, the second one - to AEL Limassol (and today he plays in the fourth league Odra Wodzisław). Guerrier leaving, tricked his agent, Daniel Weber, who did the transfer, but... when it came to signing, DG77 flew alone so he didn't have to share the commission. Well, it's no coincidence that he got the name "Wilde" from his parents - supposedly because he's been behaving in a wild way since his first days.
99. STANISLAV LEVY
The Social One, Sultan of Olomouc, Denatured Midas. Imeprsonations in the commentaries on Weszło became classics. Probably the only coach in the Ekstraklasa, who had his club to tell him to get himself together, because a messy moustache, thinned haircut and a few days' beard were making associations for itself. And Levy himself din't look as a saint with his statements. Such as when he fainted during the match with Lech and during the live interview he admitted that he drank too little during the day.
The image of taxi driver from Mielec was making a base for incredible stories invented by our readers. Loans taken for ID of Sylwester Patejuk, Wigry 3 bicycle trips, a struggle hanging in the air, the smell of excrements, purple ragweed, dog named Scrappy, Jerzy the Dwarf pawned in a pawn shop, moonshine made from rats, a sip of Blue Paris, Sigma Olomouc's tracksuit... We don't know if there was a better series of fake stories in the history of the Internet. But we're afraid not. And We don't think it will ever happen again.
The Social One
Maybe we should drop off some classics, because there may not be a better opportunity:

(London, Stamford Bridge Stadium. Journalists from all over the world are coming to a press conference, during which the owner of The Blues himself is to introduce a new manager. To the amazement of the journalists, Chelsea's coach turns out to be not Jose Mourinho, but a Czech coach from Olomouc, Stanislav Levy, champion of Albania and bronze medalist of the Polish Ekstraklasa. A nice moustacheman makes him call himself "The Social One". Stanislav's first decisions were to hire a new training staff: his new assistant is a man named Mietek, a sports director named Mirek, and his concubine is appointed as a Chelsea's spokesperson. Levy's first move on the transfer market is to hire "a young, forward-looking," 26-year-old left defender Patrik Mraz. The Czech also decides to cooperate with the Bohemians Prague. Unfortunately, as the conference progresses, the coach more and more often drinks an unidentified liquid from his drinker. With every sip, the Czech Mourinho seems to be more and more absent. Embarrassed by the situation, Abramovich significantly pulls him by the sleeve of his jacket... Then Stanislav opens his eyes. It turns out that he is not sitting but lying down, not on the Stamford Bridge, but in a social house. It is not the Russian oligarch who lint him by the sleeve, but the Scrappy Dog, while in front of him, instead of English journalists, he sees empty bottles and a worn sweatshirt that says "Hansa Rostock 1986". London can breathe with a sigh of relief - the drunken eldorado has still not crossed the English Channel.
again this month, careless games with a cigarette and a denaturate end in a fire in a social tenement house. The sound of fire sirens is intertwined with the sinister creaking of the Wigry 3 bicycle on which the creator of the Olomouc catenaccio moves away from the place of the event.
completely drunk trying to tear the grating from a confessor in the confessional, thinking it's a grating from a sewer, he curse, and waves his fists when he fails to get absolution on credit.
On Saturday morning on Wrocław pitches officials notice the lack of nets on goalposts, there are holes in the fences after cutting with pliers. The monitoring system shows that on each object 4 men break into the object and still effectively took off the nets 2x5m. The officials scratch their heads with a helpless face. On Saturday, near Olomouc by the lake, the first poaching collection is taken out of the football nets just after noon. The victims were sturgeons, perches, hurdles but also children from the Wrocław pitches.

When the Skoda 130L on the Olomouc registration was leaving Śląsk's stadium, many footballers breathed a sigh of relief. - He was able to criticize the team so much that I felt sorry for some boys. I understand the reprimand and sometimes I got it myself. But he would come and insult people. Coach Lenczyk was a very strict and demanding trainer, but he did not destroy people. Levy did," said Sebastian Mila. After all, they weren't footballers, they were pozoranty.
98. NICKI BILLE NIELSEN Lech Poznań boasted that they had thoroughly examined the Dane and knew everything about him. They knew this nut so well that they put him in an apartment right next to the Old Town. And it's a bit like locating a guy fighting a candy addiction between a Haribo shop and a chocolate drinker. No wonder that after Nicki Bille's transfer, the profits of the nearby pubs and fast food bars reached record levels. Kolejorz's attacker may not have left a beautiful card in statistics, but Wrocławska Street was rumbling during his stay in Poznań.
We have heard from several people from Kolejorz, that he entered the first training games like a boar in an acorn. Bombardiero, as you look at it, scored against Termalica right at the beginning of the round and... later it was only worse. A muscle injury, then a mysterious nose fracture. The official version? A collision with a colleague in training. Unofficial version - boxing sparring on the town. Psychologically overwatched before transfer Nicki had no problem with organizing a trip to the capital, drink few stronger drinks and then driving in the car around the city.
In this hooligan mode, Bille Nielsen's lifestyle was quite broad. He was interested in art, painting, movies and rather the more ambitious ones. It is only a pity that he was a weak footballer. But at least he could guarantee the show. During the official presentation on the club's website, he said that one thing he was sure of - he would never go to Legia. We immedietely thought that in his childhood, throwed darts at posters with Brychczy and Pisz. Later, he said that shooting a goal is better for him than sex, and if it went to Legia's net, it would actually be like an orgy. Well, in recent months he has been shooting so many goals in Poznan that all sport he has left he has to do at home. Nicki had even more interesting life after he left Lech. Fights, drugs, sex in public, almost shot off, threats to the doctor... Maybe he didn't become the Danish athlete of the year, but at least he had an interesting relationship at InstaStories.
97. ARKADIUSZ PIECH
As effective on the pitch as outside of it. So, once he hit the right one, and once he didn't. In 2003, he and two of his buddies beat a 45-year-old. Firstly he and his mates threw some rocks on the victim's house, and when the guy, over 20 years older than the guys, went out to chase the kids away, the three assailants beat him with the rails pulled out of a nearby fence. Piech and his colleagues explained at the Police Station that it wasn't like that, they first had a contest in throwing stones at a distance and one of them accidentally fell in the garden of a 45-year-old man. He started to get angry, caught up with three guys, and an argument was started. The cops, didn't quite believe that a man with heart disease ran after the three guys. Eventually the earlier testimony was withdrawn by the attackers, Piech himself got a sentence - 1.5 years in prison, he got out after nine months.
"Świdnica County Eagle" (he supposedly described himself as such) hit for the second time in 2014. The media circulated information that completely drunk Arkadiusz Piech (then the name given without the letters I, E, C and H) fell into the emergency room together with his injured colleague. As we read - the sniper from the Ekstraklasa did not like waiting for his turn, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. And it wasn't about changing queue numbers, but about the hit in the chin of the doctor.
We heard various stories about Świdnica. That it can pull you in, and if you can't fight, you might have not the best stories from the city. Piech not only could fight, but he liked it. He was bragging about the connections in the Świdnica crime-world, the doctor mentioned above was supposed to be intimidated with the words "you know who the fuck I am and who I know?". We cannot deny Arek the colourfulness, although it is not the colour desired by mothers with future son-in-laws.
96. PIOTR LECH
One fact is indisputable - he must love goalkeepeing. He started playing in 1986, finished... 30 years later, in 2016. In his last performance in the Ekstraklasa he was 40 years, 10 months and 28 days old. And then he played in the lower leagues for eight more years.
If you believe in stories of a large number of Polish footballers, Piotr Lech would write the most interesting biography. More a legend of changing rooms than the media he never liked. A typical representative of the old school - a relaxed approach to lifestyle, first to the atmosphere and cloakroom mockery. In his book Szamotulski writes that Lech was one of the worst players in the history of the league in terms of lifestyle. Górnik once organized a meeting with a nutritionist. He asked the players how their breakfast looked like. Lech smiled: - A cigarette and a coffe.
"Szamo" also describes another story about Lech: "He liked to play with fate. As a player in the Ruch Chorzów, he made a bet with Jacek Bednarz that he would jump over the car. What's worse, a moving car. "Benek" didn't believe it, and that's a mistake. When the accountant was going to the club with her Fiat126p, suddenly Piotr ran right in front of the hood and jumped as high as he could - at the same time pulling his legs up to his chest. The car went under him, and Lech claimed the prize.
Another time Lech made a joke on Jacek Wiśniewski, to whom he proposed before the match "something good to stimulate". He glued a ball from a piece of paper and recommended to drink it with a liter of water. „Wiśnia” without asking what it was, swallowed and drank.
After the match, friends ask: - Wiśnia, how's that?

Great! What was that? Great!

Another show? Shooting firecrackers in the locker room. It took a few seconds of silence for Lech to enter the game, boom! He could see the victim and chase him with those firecrackers - the more fearful someone was, the more fun Lech had. Lech was also non-predictible on the pitch - he happened to hit Dariusz Wdowczyk, then Legia's coach, after a match in which, according to Lech and the whole GKS Bełchatów, the referee whistled suspiciously biased. He instructed the young ones, as Rafał Gikiewicz, for example, tells us: - Don't be a cunt! Get out from the goal, even if you make one mistake for five actions, they will still remember that you defended four!
Believe it or not - in those days Lech was a legend of many locker rooms.
95. PRZEMYSŁAW CECHERZ
We regret that we can't find the statistics of sending coaches back to the stands. Cecherz would have dominated over the rest of the stake with a lead worthy of Liverpool in the current season. Maybe only Ryszard Tarasiewicz would be able to compete with him. The author of perhaps the most famous rant of referees work at the memorable press conference after the match between Olimpia Grudziądz and Sandecja Nowy Sącz. - I don't know why. I have no idea. Maybe beacause of a weakness? Mister... In the match, show eleven cards? ELEVEN? Now, in the match, when two footballers meet with their heads, the card goes to two. And in my match only Szufryn got it. Why? Because he's weak. Can I swear? Because he's fucking weak. Or biased. Or biased... Why does he see two punishments one way and not for us? I'm asking. This is a situation that decides about a picture of a whole game. Am I afraid of those words? Sir, I'm afraid of God, no one else - Cecherz shot like a rifle.
RANT – you really don't have to understand any of this to be scared of him xD
He was also famous for the drying in the locker room. Sometimes trash cans and bottles were flying. Once at a press conference the stewards had to come to watch over furious Cecherz. He could shoot a whip over the players heads. Once, during a trip to the game, Michał Chrapek was quietly went to KFC. He tried to explain that he didn't eat anything there, that he just drank a milkshake. - I'll give you a fucking shake! You got your whole face in a coat! - Coach erupted.
94. NENAD BJELICA
Maybe he didn't leave a full trophy cabinet in Poznań, but he made the Polish ball richer with texts that have permanently entered the language of the Polish Ekstraklasa. Whoever hasn't thrown "cirkus and skandaloza" at least once, doesn't know life and sleeps head to toes.
You can say a lot about Bjelica - that the coach was not bad (maybe even very good), that he did not achieve successes in Lech, that he was sometimes impulsive. But you can't deny him one thing - he was damn expressive. When he made a thesis, he defended it until he fell. When, after Lech lost with Utrecht, he said that he was proud of the players, he teared up with everyone who dared to question the importance of this success. When he didn't like the VAR, he put on a castet for every verbal skirmish with a supporter of video-verification.
Oh, circus and skandaloza is just the top of what we remember him from. Well, because Nenad happened to complain about the weather ("the temperature wasn't perfect") or throw himself almost with his fists to the fans (lost in Szczecin, the team manager had to separate him from the visitors' sector). Referees sent him to the stands regularly – one time he teased Kibu Vicuna, Jan Urban's assistant in Śląsk. Once he said to the referee "Jebe ti mater (I fuck your mother in Croatian, as you can expect, completely understandable phrase for Polish referee), what the fuck have I done?!". He also decided that the Poznań journalists should play with Lech to one goal, and if Kolejorz reaches for the championship, then with their participation.
Bjelica's testosterone level was way above normal. And at the same time - when he cooled down and put aside his emotions - he was one of the most pleasant people in Polish football.
93. RICARDO SA PINTO
When he was signing the contract, it was not known if it will be better with Legia, but you could bet on something else - that it will be more interesting. He had a rich resume, but also a patch of the troublemaker, who can only last a few months in one place. And what a surprise - in Legia he turned out to be a troublemaker who only lasted a few months.
But even those few months were enough for him to argue with the whole world. Even with people as conflict-free as Waldemar Fornalik (!), with whom the Portuguese stood during the match to a little fight, just like with Michał Probierz. He was disturbed by everything - the church bells next to the Legia training field, which he ordered to be silenced. The advertising bands around the bench, which he willingly treated from his shoe. The pitch at Łazienkowska Street, which condition he openly criticised. The VAR system and the referees, who got the worst treatment from him at every possible opportunity.
But also the older players he kicked out of Legia without regret - Michał Pazdan, Krzysztof Mączyński or Arkadiusz Malarz. He did not even trust his co-workers and he happened to throw out Polish members of the training staff from the briefing room. He even had a fight with journalists who had been with the Legia for years and who decided to insult Sa Pinto by coming to the training camp in Portugal. The coach cut them off from everything (even the photojournalists), and when he found out that one of the newspapers had been accommodated above his room, he put the whole hotel personnel on full alert and had the insolent writers evicted. In fact, Iza Koprowiak from "PS" even couldn't ask questions at official press conferences.
In her articles we could read about the sick rules that the Portuguese introduced. Not answering the phone from the staff? A few hundred euros penalty. Distancing yourself from Warsaw by 30 kilometres? The penalty. Sa Pinto didn't even respect his assistants, who he once ordered at 11 p.m. to go to the stadium for a cosmetic bag he forgot. We don't even mention such actions as throwing muddy shoes to a warehouse worker.
And we were not at all surprised by the recording, which circulated the Internet a moment after the release of Sa Pinto from the Legia, in which Richard the Lionheart was invited out from the plane. Probably someone got a problem with him again!
92. STANISLAV SALAMOVICH CHERCHESOV
Igor Lewczuk: - In the preparatory period before the season during Cherchesov's era, the warm-up was more tiring than the main training with other coaches.
Marcin Komorowski: - It's the hardest preparation I've ever participated in, I don't think it's possible to train more.
He was able to make a dryer in the locker room after a 2:1 victory over the Zagłębie Lubin, and he was also able to pat the players on the shoulder after a defeat with Termalica and say that football is sometimes like that. He suspected Ivica Vrdoljak about simulating an injury, he said something back to him, and since Cherchesov's hierarchy in the team was clear, Cherchesov only responded to the footballer with blaclisting him from a camp where Legia was at that time.
In Legia they laughed that he train players like dogs. Stories from the football-fiction series made a sensation, in which Cherchesov with a bear on the chain rushes players to intervals. Whatever the appraisal - the attitude and way of being fit into these imaginary stories like to no other coach. Well, imagine such a story with - let's say - Jacek Magiera. It would come out comically, and with Cherchesov - even being aware of the absurdity of this story - it did not seem so abstract. There was a lot of truth in the stories about the football player puking after training with Stani. His approach to players can be summed up by the story of when, after Legia, he wanted to put Roman Pavlyuchenko into play, who had a broken arm. Cherchesov only asked: - Wait, he plays with his hands or feet?
Cherchesov with his players
He also trained journalists - just a memorable skirmish with Żelisław Żyżyński (yes, that's a Polish name) in a pre-match interview, or a classic from the conference 'gentlemen, the end of these questions, we have a plane right away'. The trainings were closed, for exceeding the allowed quarter of an hour to watch Legia trainings, journalists were to pay "a few euros penalty, because in Legia a new era began also for journalists". Bloody Stan from distant Ossetia chewed on the nails and desires of his opponents.
Bogusław Leśnodorski (one of Legia's owners at the time), who defined his role in the Legia accurately, stated that a certain group of people, under certain circumstances, needs this type of boss. Legia took a task-seeker who was to give her the crown of the Ekstaklasa twice for the centenary of the club and eventually he gave it. But in the long run it was difficult to work with him. And we're not just talking about footballers who would probably withstand a maximum of one more round with him, and then you would have to give them to Ciechocinek healt resort. Cherchesov didn't even care for club academy, which he called a "kindergarten". And this in an interview on the official Legia club website. In the same conversation, the eternally injured Mateusz Szwoch was sent to learn to play the violin.
91. JACEK WIŚNIEWSKI
When he was going out to the presentation in Górnik Zabrze, he joked that he "bumped into a crooked snout", and when the fans were taking pictures with him, he suggested, with a smile, that you have to turn the camera to make the photo come out normally. You shouldn't judge people by their appearance, but Jacek Wiśniewski's appearance... says everything about him.
A killer on pitch who played in over 200 games in the Ekstraklasa. He's talking about himself - "chopping lumberjack." In the locker room they joked that as a kid he chewed raw beef instead of gum. He was not a virtuoso, but in every club he was extremely respected. A lot about Wiśniewski is said by the situation from GKS Jastrzębie. A field clash, "Wiśniewski" on the ground, a bone breaks in his wrist. When the doctor sees this injury, he immediately reports the change on behalf of the player.

No, no, no change! - Wiśniewski protests and... plays the game to the end. With a broken arm, wrapped in a bandage.

After the match, he said that he will train normally this week. Plaster? He can wear it if the referees let him run out on the pitch in it. And since the rules forbid playing with plaster, he stands on an elastic bandage. For Górnik Zabrze he was able to give back a lot. He declared that he would come to this club on his knees. We once asked if it was true that for eight years he had played in Górnik for three thousand złotys (around 600-700 euros) - No. I'm honestly saying that the last two years they raised me to five - he answered with a smile.
Do you already understand why he was the perfect material for the stand's favourite? Anyway, he was even respected by fans of opposing teams. And if not, there was a confrontation. Szczakowianka Jaworzno, a train trip to Szczecin. Train stops for a while, three Pogoń fans stand on the platform. They catch on, show Wiśniewski with a finger. The footballer, thinking little, jumps out the window and runs towards them. Three on one. The fans of Pogoń can see that it is about to get hot and soften momentarily. To get out of the situation somehow... they ask for an autograph.
They know what the fight can end with. Wiśniewski liked to fight, which he never hid. But how can you hide it if your face says you've taken a few harder punches in your life? Wiśniewski trained boxing when he was a kid. He finished when he came home with a black eye. But he came back to martial arts after his career, he performed in MMA. When before the gala he got a question about what repertoire of punches he will present, he answered with confidence: - Good fucking hit from a leg is way to go. As befits a footballer.
The interview after his first fight became a legend. "Okay, I lost, but is that what a knockout man looks like? Let's not fuck around! The referee could still let us fight!"
INTERVIEW AFTER FIGHT
He's never been a good boy. He says if it wasn't for coach Bochynek, he'd either be dead or at best landed in a jail. Friends in the business? Some of them are "cunts" for Wiśniewski and would gladly beat them up. Many times he happened to discipline other players from the team.. One of the statements about players who complain about trainings: - Well, don't let them sign contracts! Let one of them go to the mine with the other one, work for eight fucking hours! And then what will he say? "Fuck, I'm gonna go down that mine for eight hours again?" And he's only got two-fourty here, and for a lot of money! And he's still whining! I've never been fucking around!
Wiśniewski worked in the mine, so he knows how hard it is. He always said what was in his heart. Just like in another interview that went down to legend
"Wiśnia" had his undeniable charm, but he was not always brainy. This is testified to - but also about his strong character - the story from the league debut, for which ... he forgot his boots . He founded the ones that were in the cloakroom at hand, two numbers too small. Wiśniewski recalled in Przegląd Sportowy: - I was running like a duck on the pitch. During the break, I take off those damn shoes, and there is a lot of blood, it was possible to spill, on every finger, a hellish blaze.
His sloppiness was also a reason for jokes from his teammates (anecdote above with Piotr Lech in the lead role). Some time ago, we tried to arrange an interview with "Wiśnia". The details were to be determined by text.

Which day will suit you? - we asked.
Yes - we read in reply.

The appointment failed.
Authors:: DAMIAN SMYK i JAKUB BIAŁEK

Everything you should know about Betting in Nigeria

[OC] If every player in the NFL was a dog, who would be the most good boy?

Sorry to the like 20 people who caught this when I posted this the first time the other day. I deleted it almost immediately after because I realized it was garbage, and I fixed it up a bit.
If you’re on NFL a lot, you’ve probably noticed that whenever there’s a story about a player working in charity or something, I comment that if they were a dog, they’d be a good boy. I thought I should write something up like the Which teams have fewer fans than their namesake? A study that we got last year in the offseason.
The way I am going to tell who the most good boy is by picking one player each team and giving them a good boy rating. Right now you’re probably asking, “oh, but u/CharleyJacksson, how did you decide what player represented each team?” Well, I basically just picked fan favorite players that have a good reputation for working in charity, or just didn’t rape someone or murder a guy.
I recommend donating to your favorite good boy’s charity of choice :)

Denver Broncos Good boy: Von Miller

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity link
Starting out with my Raiders most hated rivals, the Broncos most good boy is Von Miller, a 6-time Pro-Bowl OLB. The biggest knock to his good boy-ness came in 2013, when he was suspended for violating the league's rules on drugs. He apologised and has done a lot to help restore his character. Von is a big supporter of our troops, and has a foundation to help kids get glasses.

Kansas City Chiefs Good boy: Eric Berry

Good boy rating: 11/10
Charity link
If this were a test to see what player would be the toughest boy, Eric Berry would win. After playing 5 seasons in the NFL, Eric Berry was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but was back on the football field a year later. Berry has suffered several injuries throughout his playing career, including a torn ACL in 2011, a high ankle sprain in 2014, and a ruptured Achilles this past season. As a Raiders fan, I find it very hard to root against him. He is exceedingly inspirational, and an overall great person. Eric runs The Eric Berry Foundation, which provides beneficial opportunities and a safe environment for children to participate in team sports and leadership development programs in order to encourage strength of body, mind and spirit. Eric also travels with mobile medical clinics, even going to Ugandan villages in 2013 and 2014.

Los Angeles Chargers Good boy: Philip Rivers

Good boy rating: 9/10
Charity link
Rivers is known for being a fantastic leader and great trash talker. A 7 year boy fighting two different types of cancer in LA wanted nothing other than to meet Philip, so Philip got in a car, drove two hours each way just to meet him, and watched a Ravens-Chargers game with him. Rivers said, "there was a kid that could be dying any day, and he wants to meet me of all people. This 7-year-old could make any wish and he wants to hang out with me. Man, you don't turn that one down." Philip’s charity is Rivers of Hope, a free 24 hour crisis line.

Oakland Raiders Good boy: Derek Carr

Good boy rating: 10/10
Charity link
Now for my favorite Good boy. This one was tough because I had to come up with a fair and unbiased rating for him. Derek is a fantastic man that is not shy to stand up for what he believes in. He is very involved in his faith, and works closely with Valley Children’s to help sick children. After signing his $125mil contract, the biggest contract in NFL history at the time, Derek was very excited to talk about all the positive ways he will spend his money, saying, “The exciting thing for me money-wise, honestly, is this money is going to help a lot of people. I’m very thankful to have it, that it’s in our hands because it’s going to help people. Not only in this country, but in a lot of countries around the world. That’s what’s exciting to me.”

Houston Texans Good boy: JJ Watt

Good boy rating: 37,000,000/10
Charity link
Everyone knew this one was coming. The Walter Payton Man of the Year winner this season, JJ Watt made headlines after raising $37,000,000 for Hurricane Harvey relief. He not only raised that substantial amount, but he also did as much as he could by going out and giving the men and women of Houston food and water. Although it took a detour to help after a disaster hit home, JJ’s foundation, “mission is to provide after-school opportunities for middle-school aged children in the community to become involved in athletics, so that they may learn the character traits of accountability, teamwork, leadership, work ethic, and perseverance, while in a safe and supervised environment with their peers.”

Indianapolis Colts Good boy: Darius Butler

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity link
This player is probably one one of lesser known good boys, but it is not undeserved. Darius’ foundation strives to help feed the hungry and inspire kids in rough communities. His father served 11 years in the Army, so Darius knew the importance of life and the cruel, uncaring void that we call a universe.

Sacksonville Jaguars Good boy: Blake Bortles

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity link
Blake Bortles is anything but trash. A mid-tier starter on the field, Blake gets a lot of hate thrown his way. He has become a fan favorite after upsetting several teams who called him and his team garbage. Off the field, he is a fan favorite for his goofy, awkward interview with Barstool, and his fantastic charity which supports first responders in the Jacksonville area, and helps people with intellectual and developmental disabilites persue full and indepent lives.

Tennessee Titans Good boy: Delanie Walker

Good boy rating: 10/10
Charity link
Everything I hear about Delanie is positive. He has broken out the past 4 years, getting over 800 yards 4 seasons in a row as Marcus Mariota’s go-to receiver, and he has taken advantage of his success on the field and used to to spread awareness and help those less fortunate than himself. You may remember him offering to let bullying victim Keaton Jones come to a Titans game. His foundation stands to provide inner city and low-income children with educational opportunites and resources to reach their full potential.

Baltimore Ravens Good boy: Joe Flacco

Good boy rating: 6/10
Charity link
Joe Flacco is elite in the hearts of Ravens fans everywhere. He has fully embraced Maryland and the Baltimore area, spending a lot of time working for the community. While he doesn’t have his own foundation, Joe has worked with several other charities, most notably The Red Devils of Maryland, a breast cancer foundation. He has also worked with several of other Raven’s players foundations, including Ray Rice, Ben Grubbs, Derrick Mason, and Ed Reed.

Cincinnati Bengals Good boy: Andy Dalton

Good boy rating: 8/10
Charity link
Andy is a fellow Texan and ginger, so I will always support him and his fire crotch. Andy’s foundation became famous after he put the Bills in the playoffs and fans donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to it. The foundation, run by his wife, does several things for Cincinnati and Texan communities, including bring technology, educational resources, and entertainment devices to schools and hospitals, a daycare for parents of sick kids so they can go and have a date night, a all-expense-paid trip to a theme park for sick kids, a fund for medical equipment that goes to the families of sick children, and trips to children hospitals from Santa and his Elves.

Cleveland Browns Good boy: Joe Thomas

Good boy rating: 10/10
Charity link
Joe Thomas is known for being a dedicated player, sticking with a franchise that shoots itself in the foot repeatedly. He is a fan favorite for being a super cool dude. He doesn’t have his own foundation, but is a huge advocate of Shoes and Clothes for Kids, which gives shoes and clothes to kids. One thing is for sure, Joe Thomas isn’t as terrible as his franchise is.

Pittsburgh Steelers Good boy: Alejandro Villanueva

Good boy rating: 11/10
Charity
Alejandro, a former Army Ranger, is a massive supporter of the military. After bring national attention to himself after accidentally standing away from his team, his jersey sales spiked, and he donated all of the money he got from them to the USO and other military non-profits.

Buffalo Bills Good boy: Andy Dalton

Good boy rating: 12/10
Charity link
Andy is a fellow Texan and ginger, so I will always support him and his fire crotch. Andy’s foundation became famous after he put the Bills in the playoffs and fans donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to it. The foundation, run by his wife, does several things for Cincinnati and Texan communities, including bring technology, educational resources, and entertainment devices to schools and hospitals, a daycare for parents of sick kids so they can go and have a date night, a all-expense-paid trip to a theme park for sick kids, a fund for medical equipment that goes to the families of sick children, and trips to children hospitals from Santa and his Elves.

Miami Dolphins Good boy: Kenny Stills

Good boy rating: 4/10
Charity link
I honestly had no idea to pick for the Dolphins. Jarvis Landry, Ryan Tannehill, and Cameron Wake don’t seem to have favorite charities, and Jay Cutler’s foundation is shut down, or at least doesn’t have a website or anything. Most of the charity work I found under Jay Cutler is from years ago. Kenny was their Walter Payton Man of the Year nominee and is active in the stand against social injustice.

New England Patriots Good boy: Nate Solder

Good boy rating: 6.9/10
Charity link
Nate protected Jimmy G’s beautiful face for a couple games. He also did some charity work or something with kids or something, but he protected Jimmy G’s face.
But in all seriousness, Nate is a great guy. He works with the Patriots foundation to help build playground for kids.

New York Jets Good boy: Quincy Enunwa

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity link
A lot of people may have forgotten about Quincy, but I haven’t. He’s a great slot receiver, a real gym rat. He won United Way of NYC’s Hometown Hero award, and works with NYC PAL to help kids play sports.

Dallas Cowboys Good boy: Jason Witten

Good boy rating: 11/10
Charity link
Jason is a stand up dude on and off the field. I always thought he ran real weird though. That doesn’t matter though, he’s a cool dude. His foundation helps with NFL Play 60, and helps put positive influences in battered women’s shelters all over Texas. I implore you to go to his charity link and read about all the things his foundation does. It’s fantastic and I’m not surprised because Jason is just so great.

New York Giants Good boy: Eli Manning

Good Bote rating: 10/10
Charity link
Eli is a massive dork and is totally self aware of that. He’s such a great guy too. He is responsible for the Pats losing 2 SBs, and works closely with several charities and organizations. The one I linked to is one for children with cancer, and him and his wife will match all donations to it. Eli is a really good boy.

Philidelphia Eagles Good boy: Carson Wentz

Good boy rating: 17/10
Charity link
Carson was so close to locking up the MVP trophy before he tore his ACL. After reading about his foundation, I had to up his Good boy rating. One of his foundations 3 objectives is to support the development of individuals by providing service dogs to help increase their quality of life. I got a service dog several years ago and he saved my life. I am so happy to hear Carson is trying to help more people get service dogs.

Washington Redskins Good boy: Kirk Cousins

Good boy rating: 10/10
Charity link
Kirk loves Julie very much. He is knowns for complementing players for hitting him and apologizing to his O-Line after sacks for holding onto the ball for to long. Whoever lands him in free agency is very lucky to get him and Julie. He and the Redskins donated several dollars to The Elaine Shuster Foundation, which brings money to education in Maryland.

Chicago Bears Good boy: Sam Acho

Good boy rating: 13/10
Charity link
As a massive Longhorns fan, I’ve always loved Acho. He is well known for his trips to Nigeria to help those less fortunate. He, and his brother, are fantastic and what he does for people cannot be understated.

Detroit Lions Good boy: Matthew Stafford

Good boy rating: 10/10
Charity link
Stafford is seriously underrated and I like him a lot. Everything I just read on him said that he does a lot of charity work but it isn’t publicized very often. I found a cool story where he won an auction for Lions tickets, parting with $15,000, then gave the tickets to a sick child. What a good boy.

Green Bay Packers Good boy: Aaron Rodgers

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity
Aaron Rodgers is possibly the most talented QB to ever play the game of football. He’s also the star of some state farm commercials that has a very good boy in it. He doesn’t good work off the field too, he donated $38k to Salvation Army.

Minnesota Vikings Good boy: Teddy Bridgewater

Good boy rating: 10/10
Charity link
His purpose will not be denied.

Atlanta Falcons Good boy: Julio Jones

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity link
Julio would be a very good boy. He would be very good at catch. He, along with his Falcon teammates visit Children Miracle Network Hospitals to cheer sick kids up. He is also a big fan of Campbell’s Soup.

Carolina Panthers Good boy: Cam Newton

Good boy rating: 10/10
Charity link
Cam is known for his confidence on and off the field, so I think he would be a hard boy to settle down and train, but I bet he would be a good boy once he is trained. He works at his foundation to enhance the lives of youth by addressing their educational, physical, and social needs.

New Orleans Saints Good boy: Drew Brees

Good boy rating: 14/10
Charity link
I lived in the NOLA area when Hurricane Katrina hit, and what Drew has done for the people of that area is immaculate. He does his best to make the community better and inspire every person he meets. He would be a very awesome boy.

Tampa Bay Buccaners Good boy: Gearld McCoy

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity link
Gerald grew up hungry and lost his mom at only 19 to an unexpected Brain Aneurysm. He had a rough road to get here, but that doesn’t matter, Brian, he’s here. He spends time with kids at free football clinics, teaching them how to be great men like himself.

Arizona Cardinals Good boy: Larry Fitzgerald

Good boy rating: 13/10
Charity link
Larry is well known for being a fantastic person. He lost his mother when he was young and only used that as motivation. He continues to help with breast cancer research to this day, and has played at an elite level for an extremely long time.

Los Angeles Rams Good boy: Aaron Donald

Good boy rating: 7/10
Charity link
The winner of Defensive of Player of the Year in 2017, Donald is the best DT around. Wade Phillips even said he should have won MVP. A couple years back, Donald won a Madden charity tournament, giving $51k to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

San Francisco 49ers Good boy: Jimmy Garoppolo

Good boy rating: Handsome/10
Charity link
Oh my god, he’s so beautiful. Just look at his face.

Seattle Seahawks Good boy: Russell WIlson

Good boy rating: 16/10 Charity link
Russell is the definition of a class act. He has donated millions on top of millions to various charities and hosts golf tournaments. He even gave the Patriots a Superbowl. He is a favorite of mine and if it wasn’t for Carson Wentz being such a dog lover, and JJ Watt saving a city, he would be the most good boy in the league.

/r/Championship's Championship club by club season preview - part 1!

Part 2 here - Part 3 here - Part 4 here

On Friday at 8pm UK time, Reading and Derby County will kick off the 127^th season of the English second division - also known as the Championship! 24 clubs will compete for 3 promotion spots to the Premier league (2 via automatic promotion and 1 via playoffs) and to avoid the 3 relegation spots to the third tier a.k.a League One.

Its looking like a really tight and competitive season. The league is absolutely full of ambitious player and managerial talent - the more time goes by the more it looks like a Premier League 2. If you want a competitive league with proper English football, that also has the spice of skilful players and forward thinking managers, it really is the place to go.

This is guide written by the fans who have come together on /Championship - an absolutely huge thanks to them. Do check out the sub, we try to keep it a good place to discuss the EFL, away from the rancid gloryhunting shithole that is /soccer (just kidding - I like this place). Lots going on, including a score predictor thread which is running all season.

This guide is in table order with the PL demoted sides first. Only 5 clubs today (because the Swansea one is a fucking novel and I can't fit any more in), the rest will be submitted tomorrow and Friday. Do bare in mind that not all the transfer news will be up to date as these guides were largely written a week ago. Point out to me if there are any clear errors with formatting or spelling.

Championship info, links and media

/Championship's 17/18 player of the season review

Season previews: The Guardian | Sky Sports | The Mirror
EFL focused podcasts: Not the Top 20 | The Totally Football League Show
The 17/18 table - Wolves, Cardiff and Fulham went up. Barnsley, Burton and Sunderland went down. This season West Brom, Swansea and Stoke join from the PL and Wigan, Blackburn and Rotherham join from League 1.
These are the bookies' favourites for promotion (via Oddschecker):

Club	Odds
Stoke	2.75
Middlesbrough	4
West Brom	4
Nottingham Forest	4.5
Leeds	4.75
Swansea	5

And relegation:

Club	Odds
Rotherham	2.2
Bolton	2.25
Ipswich	4.5
Reading	5
QPR	6
Hull	6

How to watch in the UK: Live rights are owned by Sky Sports. They are upping the number of televised matches this season. Reading v Derby on Friday is televised. The weekly highlights show previously on Channel 5 is moving to Quest TV, which apparently is on Freeview.
How to watch abroad: Depends, but in most territories, the iFollow Service is available, which is £110 to watch all a single club's matches. Bargain. I think the clubs that aren't on iFollow have their own similar streaming services.
Check out club Youtube channels - quite a few of them post extended highlights now with their own commentary, including Derby, Norwich, Sheffield Wednesday, Brentford and more. (You may need VPN to watch if you're abroad.)

Swansea City by RafiakaMacakaDirk and my_knob_is_gr8

Location: Swansea, Wales
Nickname: Swans, The Jacks
Major honours: Football League Cup (2013), Championship Play-off Winner (2011), League One Winners (1925, 1949, 2008)
17/18 finishing postion: 18th (Premier League)
Transfermarkt squad value: €115.5 mil NOTE: This number is as of July 22nd, when we still have Mawson (€15 mil), A. Ayew (€15 mil), Bony (€10 mil), Clucas (€8 mil) and Fernandez (€8 mil), who are all pretty much expected to be sold, or loaned out, before the season starts. Without all of these players except Bony (who's injured for a while so it makes it unlikely he'll be sold soon), the squad value would be around €70 mil.
Manager: Graham Potter joined the Swans on 11th June 2018. In 2010, he became head coach of Östersund, who were in the fourth tier of Swedish football. 5 years later, he got the club promoted into the Swedish top flight and in 2017, they won Svenska Cupen which qualified them for the Europa League where they managed to get through the group stage. He’s been applauded for what he did at Östersund and the way he managed to build the club up from nothing. The year after his success in the Europa league he signed a 3 year contract with Swansea.
Potter is well respected by The Swans and after a few years of poor managerial and financial decisions his appointment is seen as a step in the right direction to bringing us back to our old ways of being a well-run club. Potter has been recognised for his "progressive" and "unconventional" coaching methods. At Östersund, he encouraged his players and staff to engage in community activities, such as performing in theatre and music productions which was designed to take them out of their comfort zone. Potter describes his style of football on the pitch as "tactically flexible, attacking, and possession-based". At Östersund, he deployed a flexible 3–5–2 formation centred on ball possession.
Best player(s)/ talisman:With many of our best players being rumoured with a move away what good players that remain at the start of the season is yet to be seen.
Alfie Mawson is probably our standout player. He’s been amazing for us since we got him and was a bargain at about £3m. He’s great in the air and is just an all round tank. Keeping him will be a huge boost for us and should be solid in the championship.
Federico "El Pajaro" Fernandez has also been strong at the back with Alfie. The pair played with each other for the majority of last season and together became a solid unit. We will most likely sell him to reduce wages though.
Jordan Ayew put in a great shift last season and was our top goal scorer. His work rate was immense and was able to drop back and defend when needed. He’s fast, able to beat a man and a decent finisher. Sadly all these players are transfer targets for other clubs and might not even be here at the start of the season. If we can keep a lot of our players we should have a decent season but who knows who'll be left by the end of the window…
Rising star: Swansea’s U23 had a great season last year and with Potter wanting a young and fresh squad, a handful have moved up into the first team.
Our standout youngster, Oliver McBurnie, joined Barnsley on loan in January last season where he went on to win a Championship player of the month award after 6 goals in 8 games and went on to win Barnsley’s Player of the year award. While only 22, he’s struggled to break into our first team but will most likely be our main striker for the coming season. Be on the lookout for his long legs, miniature shinpads and ridiculous sock length! LEGS LEGS LEGS!!!
Connor Roberts performed well at RB last season and adapted quickly to the premier league where he battled Kyle Naughton to be in the starting line up and did great when given the chance. Decent at going forward and professional at the back. Hopefully potter puts him ahead of Naughton.
What happened last season?: What Happened last season?: After our great escape the season before and with Paul Clement at the helm there was optimism that the 17/18 season could be our turning point where we start rebuilding 'The Swansea Way". How wrong we were.
After a disastrous transfer window where we sold Sigurdsson and never replaced him and started panic buying the week before the transfer window closed we were left an obvious hole in our team. We had no creativity in midfield and no one could kick the ball into the box to save their life. And just to rub it in further Renato Sanches turned out to be more disappointing than Bob Bradley. With the team sitting bottom of the table Clement was sacked in late December.
Then along came the wise talking Carlos Carvalhal who managed to rebuild the confidence the team had lost. Our results took a turn for the good, beating Liverpool, Arsenal, Burnley and West Ham consecutively at home. He pulled us out of the relegation zone and things were looking good. However, the good times were quickly followed by the bad times. Our form turned and we didn’t win a single one of our last 9 matches. We were quickly relegated after pitifully losing to both Southampton and Stoke in our last 2 games of the season.
Highlights (Or lowlights):
The pass by Renato Sanches that summed up his and our season
Swansea City 3-1 Arsenal
Summer transfer business (so far): At the end of last season, it was clear we needed several transfers, both in and out. However, this would all depend on the manager we got.
Yan Dhanda (Free, Liverpool): A 19 year-old Midfielder, Yan Dhanda left Liverpool this summer and joined the Swans in a free, before we even hired Graham Potter. At one time one of the most promosing youngsters in Liverpool's Academy, injuries slowed down his progress, and ultimately made him fall behind other players. Citing lack of first-team playing time, Dhanda decided to join us this summer in hopes of getting regular playing time in the senior squad. Through 3 pre-season games, Dhanda has been one of the brighest and most impressive players in the squad, even scoring a game-winning goal and smashing a penalty in a shootout against Genoa. With our current injuries and shenanigans involved in our midfield, Dhanda has a good chance of becoming a starter and hopefully guide our midfield during the season.
Jordi Govea (Free, Real Madrid): Another 19 year-old from Ecuador, Jordi was the first signing under Potter. Not much can be said about the lad, but this is what Real Madrid had as his bio:

Jordi is an Ecuadorian defender who possess three key qualities for a player in his position: he's skilful, is able to go past a player and has a good shot on him. He's left footed and is able to send in good crosses on the run.

With Martin Olsson currently as our starting LB, and Kyle Naughton as the backup, the hope is that Jordi can develop on our U-23 squad and hopefully move up to the senior squad in coming years. Also the only man I've seen do a medical while wearing jeans (https://twitter.com/SwansOfficial/status/1015251916132057089)
Joel Asoro (€2 mil., Sunderland): Yet another 19 year-old, a Swedish winger who has represented his country in the younger levels, he was Potter's first senior signing. With world-class speed, and some impressive skills, Asoro was able to score 3 goals and get 2 assists last season in 26 apperances for Sunderland. While these numbers may seem a bit disappointing, many of these games were sub appearances on a very dysfunctional team. Along with Dhanda, Asoro has been one of the most impressive players during preseason, constantly beating his man with either speed or skills, and whipping in good balls to Legs. At the current rate, Asoro appears to have a good chance of starting on the right wing spot, with Nathan Dyer and Luciano Narsingh backing him up.
Predicted starting XI: NOTE: This is gonna be assuming Mawson, A. Ayew, Clucas, and Fernandez are all sold by the start of the season. If by some reason they end up staying, they are pretty much guaranteed to start. Based on the pre-season games so far, a lineup looking like this would be plausible, with Rodon most likely to be replaced by a CB (possibly Scott McKenna) when we buy one. Our second unit is looking something like this.
Best case scenario: Graham Potter is able to motivate and make sure our senior players (Fer, Carroll, etc.) stay fit, along with our youngsters being able to make an impact as expected, and also we retain Mawson, Fernandez, and Clucas, we can finish in the top 2 and get promoted automatically.
Worst case scenario: Our worst case scenario, and something many of us fear of happening, consists of primarily 3 things. 1. Graham Potter isn't given enough time to build an identity with our squad and is sacked by the midway point of the season by the greedy, dumb American owners. . 2. We end up not replacing the players we sold properly like last summer, therefore having a squad with holes everywhere and no chemistry. 3. Our youngsters such as Asoro, McBurnie, Dhanda and company don't pan out and progress at all, thefore becoming mediocre players. This would all culminate in us looking like Sunderland, and making relegation a probability.
Prediction: Realistically I see us selling Mawson and company in the last days before the season starts and not replacing them properly until later on. Because of this, as well as our current injuries with Fer and Clucas, I can see us initially struggling to build an identity but over time, we will start playing like Potter wants us and finishing the season strongly.
8th place, missing the play-offs by 4 points
What will happen to your closest rivals?: The scum that is known as Cardiff City will break the record for lowest points ever accumulated in a Premier League season, getting 5 points all from draws, and will therefore get relegated with 17 games to spare.

West Bromwich Albion by Joelwba

Location: The Hawthorns, West Bromwich, West Midlands
Nickname: The Baggies, The Throstles
Major honours: 1x League title, 1x League Cup, 5x FA Cup
17/18 finishing postion: 20th in Premier League (relegated)
Transfermarkt squad value: £101.16m
Manager: Darren Moore or Big Dave as he's known to Albion fans. A club icon as a player in the early 2000s, he returned to look after our U23 squad before being promoted to assistant manager by Alan Pardew in January. Following the end of Pardew's horrific reign, Moore took temporary charge with Albion facing inevitable relegation. He led us to wins over Newcastle, Spurs, Man Utd and a draw with Liverpool, somehow taking our futile battle for survival to the final week of the season. Following this he earned the head coach role permanently. Moore is loved among the Albion faithful, largely due to his reputation as a player here. He heavily favours a 4-4-2 formation and at the back end of last season, tended to soak up pressure and play on the counter attack. It will be interesting to see how his approach differs in a league where we are one of the favourites, not fighting to survive (hopefully)
Best player(s)/ talisman: It's an interesting situation for Albion currently. There are plenty of Premier League quality players still in the squad. A lot depends on if they are picked off before the deadline shuts. Chris Brunt is a club stalwart and likely to be reappointed as captain. He is adored by the fans and in my opinion will be an incredible asset in the championship. His set pieces alone will bring 10+ goals to the side. Kieran Gibbs is a high quality player who appears to be set to stay and should make a big difference. Jay Rodriguez, Craig Dawson, Salomon Rondon and Nacer Chadli should all make a big difference in this division IF they stay. In all honesty I expect to lose a few of the above. Sam Johnstone appears to be an astute signing to replace the outgoing Ben Foster.
Rising star: Sam Field he's one of our own! He looked completely at home against some of the top Premier League sides last campaign. A box-to-box midfielder, he's full of energy and looks so comfortable on the ball. I expect him to be a major part of our side this season, having just signed a new long-term deal.
Kyle Edwards is an exciting attacking midfielder who has been impressing in pre-season. He may have a part to play following a loan spell at Exeter last campaign.
Jonathon Leko looked like a potential world-beater when he first came through a couple of years back. A lightning quick winger full of tricks. A loan spell at Bristol City and limited appearances later he seems to be losing his way. Will be an interesting one to watch.
Finally, the enigma that is Olly Burke. After signing with us last summer for £15m, he failed to impress any of the four managers we had over the season. He looks exciting when he comes on, without any end product so far, and was unfairly blamed for a loss at West Ham by Alan 'Coward' Pardew. We all know the talent he's got. Hopefully we can see it this season.
What happened last season?: Let's not talk about it... We finally escaped the stranglehold of Tony Pulis, only to opt for the human joke that is Alan Pardew and duly hurtled towards relegation. Four of our players stole a taxi and then played (and lost) the following weekend.
Pardew was sacked about 3 months too late, and Moore took over, restoring pride with some notable wins over Man Utd and Spurs.
This season we also lost the great Cyrille Regis, and the outpouring of emotion and the coming together of the club during the weeks after his passing was something special.
Summer transfer business (so far): We started by releasing Claudio Yacob, Boaz Myhill and Gareth McAuley. Yacob and McAuley will be greatly missed but it is perhaps the right time for them to go.
Jonny Evans departed for Leicester for a cut-price £3m, Ben Foster left for Watford and James McClean has departed for Stoke City.
Sam Johnstone has been bought in to replace Foster, with Jonathon Bond arriving as backup. Kyle Bartley has joined from Swansea City and it appears that Harvey Barnes will soon be arriving on loan from Leicester.
Finally, James Morrison is currently out of contract but still with the club. His future is uncertain.
I am very happy with Johnstone and Bartley. It has been a quiet window for Albion so far but that is largely a good thing. The squad is packed with Premier League talent and the window is more about keeping hold of them.
There is major interest in Dawson and Rondon, along with interest in Rodriguez, Hegazi and Chadli. If any of the above go, then we would need to replace. Otherwise I would be happy with another striker and another CB.
It is also worth mentioning that every player in the Albion side suffered a 50% wage cut upon relegation which means that we are financially sound despite relegation, but may lead to more big names leaving.
Predicted starting XI: This is my best attempt. It will undoubtedly be 4-4-2. We may see Nyom in at right back and perhaps Barry in for Field.
Obviously about half of this side could leave, so we shall see.
Best case scenario: The bulk of the side remains and the quality in the side shines through as we breeze to automatic promotion.
Worst case scenario: The better players leave or do not put the effort in. Moore cannot transfer his great start into his first full season in management. We become embroiled in a relegation battle
Prediction: It will be somewhere in the middle. I'd like to think we'll go up automatically but I think play-offs are more likely. 6th
What will happen to your closest rivals?: Villa won't go down but will settle into mid-table, despite the recent takeover.
I think Wolves will do well in the PL, although I don't know how long Nuno will last before a big club comes in.

Stoke City by mrmariomaster

Location: Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire
Nickname: The Potters
Stadium: bet365 Stadium, 30,089 seats
Major honours: 1972 League Cup
17/18 finishing position: 19th, Premier League
Squad value: £127.8 million
Manager: Gary Rowett signed from Derby in May. His honest attitude has brought lots of optimism to fans, who are looking forward to an overhaul of the Club. His style of play seems to change based on the squad he has available.
Best Player: Joe Allen was vital to the Club last season, giving us hope that we would avoid relegation. His massive new contract signed this summer shows how loyal and committed to the Club he is, and will be a vital player this season.
Rising star: Tom Edwards is a local lad who has won the Under 18 Player of the Year award twice in the Club. In the latter parts of last season he played some good first team football.
What happened last season: A pathetic attempt at a season that had been coming for a while under Mark Hughes. Paul Lambert was appointed in January, but a win rate of just 2 in 15 matches wasn’t enough for him to keep his job and miss out on the million pound bonus offered to him.
Transfer business so far: So far this has been a decent transfer window. Peter Etebo had an amazing World Cup for Nigeria and Benik Afobe looks really promising. Adam Federici has also been appointed to replace Lee Grant. Xherdan Shaqiri has left along with a few players like Stephen Ireland and Glen Johnson who will not be missed. Badou Ndiaye also looks to be on his way out, but it looks like Jack Butland will stay with us, which is massive. Perhaps most surprising are the new contracts signed by our 2 best players last season, Joe Allen and Moritz Bauer.
Predicted Line up: Here is our predicted squad. I’m not sure what formation we will have. EDIT: This is a new version, complete with our rumoured new signings and in the right formation.
Best case scenario: Stoke will finish top with an all-time Championship points record.
Worst case scenario: A mediocre start to the season will see Rowett sacked and Stoke with a disappointing mid-table finish.
Prediction: I think with our squad and our new manager, we will finish 1st.
What will happen to our closest rivals? Port Vale will be relegated to the Vanarama National League.

Aston Villa by trueschoolalumni

Location: Villa Park, Trinity Rd, Birmingham B6 6HE
Nickname: The Villans, The Villa, Prince William's Club, David "Twat" Cameron's Second Club.
Major honours: 7 First Division wins, 7 FA Cups, 5 League Cups, 1 European Cup, 1 European Super Cup, 1 Intertoto Cup
17/18 finishing postion: 4th
Transfermarkt squad value: £67.77m and dropping fast
Manager: Steve Bruce (for now). Former Man Utd playing legend who's been a fixture of English football for decades. He joined Villa in 2016 after successful runs at Hull, Sunderland (yes they were good once) and Birmingham City. A bit of a promotion specialist, he's taken Championship clubs up to the Premier League 4 times in the past and just missed out last season, losing 1-0 to Fulham in the Playoff Final. Tactically, he's fairly old school who prefers 4-4-2 or a 4-1-4-1, usually involving a big man up top. Fun fact: while managing Huddersfield in 1999 he wrote three novels, "Striker!", "Sweeper!" and "Defender!", which focus on main character Steve Barnes, a football manager. Barnes solves crime and takes on terrorists, and the books have become prized rarities. The Guardian's Football Weekly podcast managed to get a copy and read out some of the copy - suitably awful.
Best player(s)/ talisman: There's only one Jack Grealish. A Villa boy through and through, he's been with the club since 2001 (aged 6), and made his way into the first team in the 2013-14 season. He's been the centre of controversy a few times, most notably getting on the beers and passing out on a Tenerife street. Playing as a number 10, his quick feet and dribbling skills provide a number of goals and assists, as well as fouls. He probably went down a bit too easily when first in the Premier League, but time in the gym has noticeably toughened him up and he's a much more solid player as a result. One of the better players in the Championship, and due to Villa's abject finances, a transfer target for the likes of Leicester.
Rising star: Keinan Davis could possibly be it, potentially Andre Green and Rushian Hepburn-Murphy as well.
What happened last season?: Have you ever walked into a casino, spotted the roulette table and popped £10,000 on red? It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off. You've doubled your money if you win, but look like a right git if you lose. Villa figured this was a good way to approach 2017-18: spend millions on players, get in lots of loans, gamble everything on achieving promotion. After a so-so start, Bruce got the team playing well, stringing together a number of wins and moving through the playoff spots. Unfortunately they ran into a few teams playing out of their skin - champions Wolves ran away with the league and boasted a squad that included several Champions League players. Neil Warnock's Cardiff couldn't stop winning and grabbed the second automatic promotion. In the playoff final Villa came up against a Ryan Sessegnon-led Fulham and were just pipped at the post 1-0.
Summer transfer business (so far): It's one-way traffic, due to absolutely abysmal finances. Loan spells for Lewis Grabban, Robert Snodgrass, Josh Onomah and Sam Johnstone have all ended, which is almost the spine of the team (Johnstone in particular - he was arguably the best keeper in the Championship and personally bagged a number of wins). Plus clubs are circling to pick off whatever assets we have left (eg. Jack Grealish, James Chester). With no prospect of anyone new coming in, it looks like the youth academy will be getting a lot more game time.
Predicted starting XI: Possibly this, but half these players could be gone before the first match.
Best case scenario: Mid-table anonymity would have to be best case - Villa are a mess and could go down this time around.
Worst case scenario: Our finances are the real issue - they are dire. Villa need to find £9 million this month to avoid going into administration. Owner "Dr." Tony Xia is a billionaire, apparently, but tax bills went unpaid and the question remains if he's able to support the club as generously as he has in the past. Administration, points deductions and potentially relegation to League One are all real possibilities right now. It's not looking good.
Prediction: Due to financial irregularities in the 23 clubs above us, Villa will get into the Champions League and take out the likes of Atletico, Bayern and Real Madrid on the way to our second European Cup. "Taylor, Green, prepared to venture down the left. There's a good ball played in for Jack Grealish. Oh, it must be and it is! It's Keinan Davis!"
What will happen to your closest rivals?: Unfortunately the Scum managed to avoid League One in the final rounds of the season. Here's hoping they go one better. Agbonlahor to re-sign for one game: the Derby. And score the winner, again.

Middlesbrough by OneSmallHuman

Location: The Riverside Stadium, Middlesbrough
Founded: 1876
Nickname: The Boro (Or just Boro)
Major honours: The League cup 2003-2004 season
17/18 finishing position: 5th
Transfermarkt squad value: 79.34m
Manager: Tony Pulis became manager of us in late December 2017, replacing the sacked Garry Monk after a pretty lacklustre few months of the campaign (despite where our league position was). Pulis is known in England for being the man that is never relegated when in charge of someone in the top flight. We are all aware of Tony Pulis' style of football. You start by having a strong and massive defence and maximise your use of set pieces to gain an advantage. Pulis is a lover of all set piece plays, whether that is crossing the ball in from a corner or free kick, or launching a ball into the box from a throw in, they're all in his arsenal of weapons. 'Pulisball' as it is pretty much known. Pulis has achieved promotion from the championship once before with Stoke, and I hope he achieves it again with us this season
Best player(s)/ rising star: I mean, where else do I begin. Adama Traore. Arguably the best player in the championship on his day and is one of the most frightening dribblers in English football, maybe even world football. The winger is known for his speed and dribbling ability although is usually criticised for his lack of end product. Before last season I would've agreed, however 5 goals and 10 assists, with all but 2 assists coming before Pulis' arrival show the progression of the Spanish winger.
As for other members of the squad, Ben Gibson, the prodigal son. Boro through and through he's progressed into a commanding centre half with the ability to play out from the back thanks to Karanka. He gained attention and emerged as one of the few given credit after our disappointing premier league campaign but was only the subject of one bid upon our relegation, from now manager Tony Pulis. It remains to be seen whether he'll be here come the first game of the season, but I hope he will be.
As for future stars, Dael Fry, already has played 2 championship campaigns for us and looks as assured as a veteran of the game. Another centre half produced by our academy and he is being played in cdm this pre-season by Pulis, to add to his versatility. Hopefully a standout season for him, especially if Gibson does end up leaving. Finally, yes, he does always look as confused as images of him show.
What happened last season?: Well, the first half of the season was tragic under Monk. We played really poor football at times and looked like we hadn't defended a day in our lives. There was also no consistency in the team, we'd win one game then lose the next. A key theme under both managers however, was our inability to beat those around us in the table. After Pulis' appointment the results picked up and it ended with us finishing 5th in the table. We ultimately lost in the playoff semi finals to Aston Villa but honestly, we didn't think we'd even be in the top half around Christmas.
Summer transfer business (so far): Just the three deals to talk about so far. We've acquired Paddy McNair from Sunderland who looks like a decent player. He's been utilised in right back and midfield during pre-season so it looks like they'll be his positions for the season. I imagine he'll play alongside Clayts and Howson in a midfield three.
Aden Flint was signed from Bristol City and I think I'm in the minority when I say I don't like how much we paid for him. Obviously the man is a Pulis player but I'm a bit unsure about his defensive ability. That being said he's looked strong during pre-season and I'm sure Pulis will get the best out of him. Fabio departed our club for Nantes so we'll need more full back cover.
As for the rest of the window, I expect Gibson to leave but will be delighted if he doesn't. One of our strikers will also leave and Braithwaite should follow after his decent World Cup performances. We'll probably bring in a striker and a winger and hopefully hold onto Adama. That'd be a successful window in my eyes.
Predicted starting XI: My best guess The only other guess I could make is that Gibson might leave and then Ayala would start, but he's injured at this point in time. Britt might play over Gestede too if Pulis is feeling fancy.
Best case scenario: It has to be top of the pile right? It's not out of the question to imagine us up there and if everything clicks then we've got a chance. A defence that scores more than some teams' strikers, Adama channelling his inner Messi and finding consistency, Rudy/Britt/Bamford scoring for fun. It could be carnage.
Worst case scenario: I can't see us finishing outside the playoffs, if we did then that would be gut-wrenching. But if we did then that would most certainly be the worst. Realistically, it'd be losing in the playoffs... again, and if it were in the final again then god help me. Although saying this, now losing Bamford and maybe Traore will be a worst case scenario in itself, definitely if they're not replaced.
Prediction: Have to be confident, although it always kills me. 1st or 2nd. Tony Pulis and his nice white trainers carry us to the promise land. That being said, we never do it the easy way.
Best Match of Last Season Sorry Leeds fans, but it had to be. "Hattrick Bamford" as our Twitter account tweeted, 3-0 against Leeds with Adama running the show. Leeds clearly found some positive from the game as they're set to sign him off us. This was the sign of what we should've done more last season. Showed what Paddy could've been too if given an even more extended period in Striker by himself. Oh well.
What will happen to your closest rivals?: Who even are our closest rivals in this league? We're in geographical purgatory. Can't say Sunderland anymore so what? Leeds? Bielsa either turns them into the well oiled machine they hope for or he succumbs to the old Leeds ways and is sacked by December. As for the Mackems, probably promoted from League 1.

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Summer Transfer and Rumour Megathread 2017

ATTENTION

I've hit the character limit here, this will now serve as a place for official actions by the club and an archive for the old rumours. You can check out the new rumour thread here.

Hey all, it’s that magical time of year again, and Shakespeare is on the hunt for some new foxes. I am making this thread to try to keep up with all the transfers and rumours, as well as give everyone a place to discuss transfer related topics. I’m going to be ~~borrowing~~ unabashedly plagiarizing from last year’s model a lot (a quick thank you to lgfualol and company).
Also, as the lcfc beta website was just put up, there isn’t much news about anything as I’m writing this.
At the moment I have a lot of free time at work as well as at home so hopefully I can keep up but I will also appreciate any help you provide staying up to date with the speculation and whatnot.
So, firstly and very importantly, Craig Shakespeare was appointed manager on a 3-year deal on 15 June.
Michael Appleton has been named the club's assistant coach.

New Contracts

First Team

Player	Position	Length	Info
Harvey Barnes	CAM	4 Years	Link

Professional Contracts Signed (Youth)

Player	Position	Info
Sam Hughes	CB	Link
Alex Pascanu	LB	Link
Kieman Dewsbury-Hall	CM	Link
Lamine Sherif	CM	Link
Josh Knight	CB	Link
Max Bramley	GK	Link
Tyrese Shade	ST	Link

Players In - Permanent

Player	Position	Age	Nation	From	Fee	Contract	Info
Harry Maguire	CB	24	England	Hull	£17 million	5 years	link
Vincente Iborra	CM	29	Spain	Sevilla	Undisclosed	4 years	Link
Eldin Jakupovic	GK	32	Bosnia/Switzerland	Hull	Undisclosed	3 years	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	ST	20	Nigeria	Manchester City	£25 million	5 years	Link
George Thomas	ST	20	Wales	Coventry City	£450,000	3 years Link

Players In - Loan

Player	Age	Position	From	Length	Info

None so far

Players Out - Permanent

Player	Age	Position	To	Fee	Info
Ron-Robert Zeiler	28	Goalkeeper	VfB Stuttgart	£3.5 million	Link
Tom Lawrence	23	Striker	Derby County	Undisclosed	Link

Players Out - Loan

Player	Age	Position	To	Length	Info
Bartosz Kapustka	20	Winger	SC Freiburg	1 Year	Link
Callum Elder	22	Left Back	Wigan Athletic	1 Year	Link

Players Out - Released By Club

Player	Age	Position	Senior Apps
Michael Cain	23	CM	0
David Domej	21	CB	0
Brandon Fox	20	LM	0
Cédric Kipré	20	CB	0
Matty Miles	20	RB	0
Kairo Mitchell	19	CF	0
Marcin Wasilewski	37	CB	77

Transfer Speculation!

I’m going to do my best to stick to good sources, but call me out if I post something from a shifty place and I’ll take it down or find it from a better source

Rumours from anytime this transfer season until 15/6/17:

Player	Rumour	Source
Gylfi Sigurdsson	Skybet dropped our odds of signing him from 18/1 to 5/1	Link
Jamie Vardy	Everton want him as a Lukaku replacement	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Wenger mentioned interest, but haven’t made an offer yet	Link
Papy Mendy	The Mercury understand that he could move on to France	Link
Riyad Mahrez	I guess Chelsea are eyeing the man too	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	Odds dropped in our favor to sign the Citizen	Link
Luis Muriel	The Mercury said that we’ve been linked with him	Link
Ahmed Musa	His agent says the Fenerbahce deal is off but also says he’s probably staying in England	Link

16/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Eldin Jakupovic	BBC seem to think we are on our way to signing him	Link
Nempalys Mendy	French TV is reporting that Nice want Mendy back on a loan	Link in French
Michael Appleton	The Oxford boss is reportedly close to becoming Shakey's number 2	Link

17/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Kasper Schmeichel	We've slapped on a £50 million price tag on the man to ward off United and Liverpool but it's also the sun reporting this so make of it what you will	Link

18/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Chris Smalling	The Star is reporting that the United man looks set to leave, with Leicester, West Brom, and Spurs are looking to sign him	Link 1 Link 2
Eldin Jakupovic	The Daily Mail claims we and Watford have both put in a £1.7 million bid for the Hull man, but it is the Daily Mail so believe at your own risk	Link

19/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Che Adams	Seems we've been linked with the young Birmingham striker	Link
Jonny Evans	The Telegraph is reporting that we are set to make a second bid for him	Link
Michael Appleton	Looks like after a weekend of negotiations he is set to join as Shakey's #2	Link

20/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Domagoj Vida	Mr Geoff Peters says on twitter that Leicester are in talks with Dynamo Kyiv over the 28 year old Croatian defender	Link
Jonny Evans	West Brom's Gareth McAuley has said that Evans won't be leaving, as he is too important to the club. EDIT: The Mercury believe Leicester will make an improved £15 million bid for Evans.	Link 1 Link 2

21/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Gian Marco Ferrari	Sky Sport Italia are reporting that Leicester are interested to the 25 year old Sassuolo and Italy CB.	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	The Telegraph report that Shakey is planning on a £25 million offer for the Nigerian striker	Link

22/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Kelechi Iheanacho	The Mercury are reporting that Leicester are set to make a move for him soon	Link
Jonny Evans	West Brom have reportedly slapped a £20 million price tag on him and rumours are circling that he has been offered a new £100,000 per week contract to convince him to stay	Link
Sam Clucas	The Hull Daily Mail are reporting that Leicester, among other PL clubs, are interested in Clucas	Link

23/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Benny Ashley-Seal	The Mercury say we are in advanced talks with the Norwich youngster and will sign him to the development squad soon	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	Manchester City are demanding a buyback clause if we do sign Nacho from them. Edit: The striker has apparently followed Fuchs, Musa and Ndidi on twitter	Link 1 Link 2
Jonny Evans	Northern Ireland boss Michael O'Neill says £20 million is a steal for the man, supports the move to Leicester	Link
Islam Slimani	France Football report that they would like to have Slimani back on loan if Bas Dost leaves	Tweet (in French)
Demarai Gray	Playing for 90 are reporting that Tottenham are interested in Gray, and are considering meeting his release clause of £22 million	Link

24/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Demarai Gray	He's frustrated with his lack of game time and announced it publicly in an interview	Link
Jonny Evans	Reports claim that Leicester are going to make another bid after West Brom said no less than £20 million for him	Link

26/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Gylfi Sigurdsson	Everton had a £27 million bid rejected as Swansea slap a £40 million price tag on Sigs	Link
Papy Mendy	Newly appointed at Nantes, Claudio Ranieri wants Mendy to join the French side	Link
Nathan Ake	Leicester seem interested in joining the race late for the 22 year old Chelsea and Netherlands centre back, but Bournemouth are already confident they can sign him this window	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Is it finally time? Mahrez reportedly rejects Barcelona in favor of Arsenal, and the gunners look set to strike, with a big money deal looming	Link
Tom Lawrence	Newcastle are apparently interested in the 23 year old, but must pay £10 million for his service	Link
Gregiore Defrel	Leicester and West Ham are reportedly interested in the Sassuolo forward	Link
George Thomas	Leicester are interested in strengthening the development squad with Coventry City starlet	Link

27/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Papy Mendy	Player wants to return to France with Bordeaux	Link
Adrien Silva	Leicester and Spurs told £26 million for the Portugal international, but Pocchetino has no intentions of buying him	Link
Thorgan Hazard	It seems that French outlet FootMercato believe that Leicester (among other clubs) are linked with the Belgian	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	Soccernet Nigeria are reporting that West Ham have made an improved bid for the young striker	Link

28/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Arsenal have reportedly offered the winger a 4 year deal, but the Mercury report that there have been no bids for the Algerian	Link 1 Link 2
Gregoire Defrel	The Mercury are reporting that Leicester are interested in the pacey striker, valued at £18 million	Link

29/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Bartosz Kaputska	His agent has said that he wants out this summer, and there are clubs around Europe looking to sign the young Poland winger	Link
Papy Mendy	The Mercury understands that Bordeaux have approached Leicester in talks over Mendy, but there hasn't been a bid made yet	Link
Riyad Mahrez	This is only somewhat relevant, but SPORT are reporting that if Verratti stays at PSG, then Barcelona will aim their focus at one of either Riyad of United's Herrera	Tweet
George Thomas	Swansea seem to be keen on signing him, but Leicester and a few other PL teams are interested as well	Link
Islam Slimani	Sporting seem to want to bring the Algerian back, but he has said he will only leave Leicester under "special circumstances"	Link

30/6/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Nathan Ake	Bournemouth have officially signed him	Link
Gaston Ramirez	After being blocked in the January transfer window, he seems keen to leave but Leicester are not interested	Link
Ben Gibson	After being priced at £25 million, Leicester are willing to wait to see how serious Boro are about the asking price	Link

1/7/17

Horribly late on this one, apologies

Player	Rumour	Source
George Thomas	Leicester have apparently made a £500,000 move for the Coventry City youngster	Link
Gregoire Defrel	The Mercury report that a move could be made as early as next week around £15.5 million for the Sassuolo striker	Link
Sam Johnstone	The United keeper has been linked with Leicester as well as other PL sides, I like this rumour more than the Jakupovic one	Link

2/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Nathaniel Chalobah	The Mercury are reporting that Leicester are interested in the young Chelsea midfielder	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Calcio Mercato are reporting that Arsenal are close to signing the winger	Link in Italian
Kelechi Iheanacho	According to Squawka, Leicester are prepared to make a £20 million offer for the young Nigerian. Odds on his transfer to Leicester have been cut dramatically	Link

3/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Lovre Kalinic	According to reports in Croatia, Leicester have bid £18.5 million for the Gent goalkeeper	Link
Gregoire Defrel	Roma have reportedly bid £13 million for the Sassuolo striker, but have had it rejected. The striker does seem interested in staying in Italy though	Link
Ali Al-Habsi	Leicester are interested in the Reading keeper, he has been named in the Championship team of the season for two years running	Link
Vincente Iborra	Marca are reporting that Leicester have made a £12 million bid on the Sevilla captain	Link in Spanish

4/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Vincente Iborra	The Mercury understand that a deal was reached and Iborra is set to undergo a medical with Leicester	Link
Kasper Schmeichel	This makes me sad. A lot of news outlets are reporting that if we sign Kalinic from Gent, we will let Kasper go	Link
Troy Deeney	Leicester have reportedly made a £20 million bid for the striker, but Watford have rejected it	Link

5/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Gregoire Defrel	Leicester are apparently trying to "press on the accelerator" to get the deal through amid Roma interest	Link
Leonardo Ulloa	The club is in talks with Ulloa about a contract extention	Link

6/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Vincente Iborra	Leicester have signed the Sevilla man	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	The City striker is close to a deal with Leicester	Link

7/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Demarai Gray	Everton are reportedly joining Tottenham and Liverpool in showing interest in Gray	Link
Gylfi Sigurdsson	Everton are preparing a £32 million bid on the Iceland international	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Arsenal want him but only want to spend £35 million on him, while Leicester are holding out for £50 million	Link
Gregoire Defrel	The Frenchman has said no to Leicester, and is planning on joining Roma this transfer window	Link
Mathieu Debuchy	Someone on Foxes Talk understands that Debuchy has checked into a Leicester hotel, possibly hinting at a move to the Foxes	Link

8/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Arsenal feel £50 million is too much for the Algerian and have reportedly agreed to personal terms with Monaco's Lemar	Link

9/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
James McCarthy	Everton have slapped a £25 million price tag on the outbound midfielder, Leicester are showing interest	Link
Leonardo Ulloa	Real Betis, Getafe and Levante have all shown interest in the man	Link

10/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Gylfi Sigurdsson	The Mercury are reporting that Leicester have had an enormous £40 million bid rejected in hopes of winning the fight over the Iceland international, they want £50 million for him	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Arsenal make an improved bid for Moncaco's Lemar as a move for Mahrez looks increasingly unlikely	Link
Tom Lawrence	Derby are looking to win the services of the Leicester man as a replacement for Tom Ince	Link
Islam Slimani	Craig Shakespeare has reportedly made the 29 year old striker available	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	Leicester and Manchester City have reportedly come to a deal for the striker	Link
Demarai Gray	Shakey has promised Gray more game time, which means the young winger will be keen to stay at Leicester	Link
Tom Lees	Leicester seem keen on the Wednesday defender	Link
Jonny Evans	Reports claim that Leicester are planning on yet another bid on the West Brom defender	Link

11/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Ron-Robert Zeiler	The keeper is set to join Stuttgart according to reports	Link
Eldin Jakupovic	With the sale of Zeiler, City are expected to make a £2 million bid for the Hull keeper has competition for Schmeichel	Link
Kelechi Iheanacho	Just when you thought you'd heard the end of it, Spurs are now trying to hijack Iheanacho in an attempt to speed up a deal for Kyle Walker, but despite this a couple betting sites have suspended bets on the Nigeria striker's move	Link 1 Link 2
Islam Slimani	West Brom and Newcastle are interested in the Algerian striker	Link
James McCarthey	Leicester are reportedly set to make a £25 million offer for the Everton midfielder	Link

12/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Ron-Robert Zeiler	The German keeper has completed a move to Stuttgart for a £3.5 million fee	Link
Yohan Benalouane	The defender's agent has hinted at a move back to Italy, but nothing seems serious as of yet	Link
Bartosz Kapustka	The Poland international is set to join Freiburg on a loan, is currently completing his medical	Link

13/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Roma are looking for a replacement winger after the sale of Salah, and Mahrez might be the right man for them.	Link
Eldin Jakupovic	We want to sign the Hull keeper for £2 million, but Hull want to hold out for a better offer	Link
Marvin Johnson	The Oxford striker is highly rated by Appleton, and has had an impressive season, so Leicester are showing interest	Link
Gylfi Sigurdsson	Take from this what you will, but it seems Sigs has not gone to the states with Swansea, as he is uncertain about his future at the club	Link

14/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Papy Mendy	St-Etienne want to take the midfielder on loan, but Leicester want a full sale	Link

15/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Bartosz Kapustka	The Polish winger has joined Freiburg on a year loan with an option to buy for £5.3 million	Link
Kasper Schmeichel	United increasingly interested in the keeper as it looks increasingly likely that De Gea will join Real Madrid	Link

17/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Eldin Jakupovic	The Hull keeper is set to have his medical in Hong Kong in the coming hours, ahead of a £2 million move	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Roma have stepped up their interest in the winger, reportedly preparing a bid between £30 and £35 million	Link
Aymen Abdennour	Leicester have been linked with the 27 year old Valencia defender	Link
Gylfi Sigurdsson	Leicester are reportedly set to tempt the Iceland midfielder with a £125,000 a week contract amid Everton interest	Link

18/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Demarai Gray	Leicester and Gray are in contract talks as Mahrez nears exit	Link

19/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Islam Slimani	The striker is worried Leicester might price him out of a move to Newcastle as Leicester look to recoup as much of their investment as possible	Link

20/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Kelechi Iheanacho	Pep Guardiola has given his blessing to the young striker to move on from Manchester City	Link
Papy Mendy	The French midfielder's agent blasts Leicester for a "lack of respect" concerning his move to France, with a host of clubs willing to take him on loan, but Leicester holding out for a sale	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Spurs have joined the race for the Algerian, but will not bid £50 million	Link
George Thomas	The Coventry City star has been asked by his manager to decide his future	Link
Mohamed Elneny	Arsenal and Leicester had reached a £10 million deal on the Egyptian international, only to have it blocked by the player	Link
George Hirst	Wednesday have rejected a £1 million bid for the young striker	Link
Ahmed Musa	West Brom have been linked with the striker as he looks set to leave this summer	Link

21/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Shakespeare says he has rejected a £20 million offer from Roma for the winger	Link
Harvey Barnes	The midfielder has committed to Leicester with a new 4 year deal	Link
Ahmed Musa	Hull and West Brom are considering a loan deal for the striker	Link

22/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Kelechi Iheanacho	What a ridiculously drawn out piece of business. On the bright side, a couple days ago Pep said it was to be completed soon, and now today Vice-Chairman Aiyawatt Srivaddhanaprabha has said the deal is coming soon	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Speaking of drawn out business, Mahrez is still in Leicester blue, but Roma are ready to launch a £30 million bid plus add ons for the winger, I'm hoping that these add ons are significant because 30 seems a little short for me	Link

23/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	The winger is set to snub Roma in favor of waiting on an Arsenal move	Link
Islam Slimani	Everton may switch their attention to the striker as an alternative to Giroud	Link

24/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Adrien Silva	Leicester again show interest in Sporting Lisbon midfielder and Jornal de Noticias claim that Leicester are set to bid €22 million to try to gain his services. Link
George Thomas	After a £300,000 bid was rejected by Coventry, Leicester are preparing a £500,000 bid for the striker	Link
Riyad Mahrez	Roma insist that the Algerian winger is their primary transfer target amid links to Samir Nasri	Link

25/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Riyad Mahrez	Roma have stepped up their bid to about 30 million, but Leicester won't budge for less than 50 million. Also, Liverpool have reportedly been keeping tabs on the winger (I don't believe this one so much)	Link 1 Link 2

26/7/17

Player	Rumour	Source
Alassane Meite	French reports are saying that Leicester have signed the young PSG striker, but there is nothing to back it up on the club website. My best guess is this is set to happen, possibly in the next couple days	Link

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