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A SIR_JACK_A_LOT Christmas Carol - My magnum dong opus on turning $35K to $1.75M (50X) in less than a year

A SIR_JACK_A_LOT Christmas Carol - My magnum dong opus on turning $35K to $1.75M (50X) in less than a year
How I went from $35K to $1.75M (50X) in less than a year

Introduction

Gather 'round retards and autists. Grab a mug of eggnog, find a cozy corner in your mom's basement, and enjoy the tale of SIR JACK A LOT.
In this post: I'll go over my trading history, my strategy, my philosophy, and also systematically destroy every accusation and idiotic question made against me in the last week WITH RECEIPTS. No one doubts motherfuckin SIR JACK A LOT.
Disclaimers
Privacy is important to me. I wish to stay anonymous. This is not financial advice, just my story.

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Chapter 1: Crypto (2017-18)
How it all started... I threw every last dollar I had in ETH at $12 and swing traded a ton of shit coins and ICOs until it all came crashing down.
In short: turned $8K into $300K and back to $30k but owed the IRS ~$120K since all the gains were calculated at 2017-year-end. I royally fucked myself because I didn't set any money aside for taxes. Ended up in debt to some very bad people and things were very dark, I don't like to talk about this time in my life that much.
Chapter 2: WSB Tuition (2018)
First learned about WSB in 2018 from the infamous FB ER put play by YungBillionaire turning ~$28K into $451K overnight. That sounded fun.
Quickly learned about options but most importantly about FDs, tendies, and the power of memes.
Back then it was all about trade wars and hanging at the whim of commander cheeto's supple tweets.
I have fond memories of:
  • Apparently the first stock I ever bought on Robinhood was HMNY... thanks Robinhood Recap for the reminder of my retarded-ness
  • Grew my first set of winkles on my smooth brain with AMC calls. The thesis was that their Stubs A-List subscription was doing pretty well according to /AMCsAList back then
  • Went all-in MTCH weekly puts with $12K clenching my stomach in the fetal position when all of a sudden there was a lawsuit and I tripled my account in minutes, pure luck
Still ended up losing $30K and swore off options forever... until 2020 where I lost another $10k in options. Fucking weeklies man, they're like if cocaine and blackjack made a dopamine-infused baby
WTF is up with the snowflakes Robinhood? So gay, instant short when it IPOs

Ghosts of Christmas Present

Chapter 3: Road to $1M+ (2020)
Let's start with the receipts since that's what everyone's interested in:
Proof that I started Feb 2020 with only $35K
Vanguard is my 401k provider and their self-directed brokerage is provided by TD Ameritrade which is why you see screenshots from two different apps. Started the year with $11K in 401k, deposited $26K more in Jan and then started trading in Feb with $35K. The $49K withdrawal in June was for a 401k loan to buy a Tesla.
Looking at this all-time graph gets me so hard
In my first run up to June, turned $35k into $850K (APT, CODX, NCLH, CHWY) and decided my luck was too good and needed to "cool down". Decided to withdraw $50k for a Tesla and stayed away from the markets for a good 3 months thinking the market was going to go back down again...
But it didn't, the market kept rallying and I got the tendie tingles. My first move in Sept was to go all-in on WORK and bought at the high of $35 and was immediately down -30% thanks to their shit ER. They recovered a bit in the weeks afterwards and then jumped into CRSR which made me a millionaire and then GME. GME also shit the bed with a -20% ER but recovered swiftly thanks to Lord Cohen and recently jumped into STIC for that final spike up.
Chapter 4: Explaining every trade
Proof of every gain/loss I've ever traded (except APT history which was in Vanguard)
My strategy is going all-in on a single stock all-shares. The idea is to have a thesis and conviction with that trade. I stay in the trade until the thesis is invalidated or another opportunity arises, it's a simple strategy and it's worked for me so far. My account does not allow options or margin trading.
Here's a few theses and history I remember in hopes folks can learn something:
  • APT/CODX - It was obvious to me in Jan/Feb that this coronavirus was the real deal. The trick was to look at the facts and not the noise. There was a fake viral video of blood-curdling screams from Wuhan apartments that was so obviously fake but western media loved it. On the other hand, Wuhan built a makeshift hospital in just 10 days, that's real action the government took and showed me how seriously dangerous this new virus was going to be. So I loaded up on APT, a mask stock, and rode it up and then switched to CODX, a testing stock, and rode that up from $11 to $24 selling right before their botched ER (conf call with no queue and everyone talking over each other lol)
  • NCLH - Saw a curious spike in volume on May 14 with a move upward, piqued my tendie tingles again. Decided it was worth an all-in at $10.57 as the support of $10 was pretty strong. The mood at the time was that coronavirus was waning (I knew it was wrong but the market was emotionally optimistic) and fortunately it caused NCLH to moon and I sold at $19.75 on June 4 even though it kept mooning to $26 over the next 2 days
  • CHWY - Got a dog, it's cute. Pets + E-Commerce during a pandemic, easy money. Bought at $41 and sold at $46 only because I thought it was moving kind of slowly. Well I was pretty wrong, now it's at $104
  • SQQQ/TVIX - I tried being a gay bear for an hour and lost money. Don't ever be a gay bear
  • CRSR - Been watching a ton of tech review and PC building YouTube channels and subreddits and the "enthusiast" crowd is definitely larger and has bigger wallets than people think. There is fucking keyboard typing ASMR now and ebay reviewers THANKING scalpers for charging them 2-3x MRSP. Biggest generational jump in GPU and CPU in a while and recently IPO-ed Corsair was definitely gonna benefit from this new generation of gamers was my thesis. Went all-in at $24 and sold at $36 after a non-stop run even though it kept running all the way to $51. No regrets, profit is profit.
  • WORK - It was the only "WFH" stock that didn't moon yet, thought it deserved a chance was my thesis. Went all-in at the tippy top of $35 on Sept 2 and it immediately kept crashing all the way to $24 in 5 days. Fortunately it recovered a bit and sold at $32 for a loss since I gave up hope and it seemed to be running out of steam
Chapter 5: GME Gang Confession
Now: I have a confession to make. My conviction for the Gamestop MOASS is insane. Had 88,233 shares at $13.04 buy-in with a $120 stop limit. Listening to this 90-min podcast of Uberkikz11 going on about how he knows more about this company than any mortal human should gets me so friken hard every time.
But. That -20% ER drop hurt me on a spiritual level. Watching my account go from $1.5M to $1.1M at one point gave me Taco Bell-levels of stomach cramps.
So when it bounced back to $15-16 on no news on Fri, Dec 18, I felt like I needed to "cool down" again. It was going into the holidays with a British virus mutation on the way and hedge funds manipulating to get their holiday bonuses, it felt kind of dangerous. And no way Ryan Cohen would be working with his lawyers on something that fast over the holidays, right?
So I sold all my GME at $15.50.
Then on Mon, Dec 21 morning, Lord Cohen drops his new 13D/A... but the stock price stayed flat all day. The Lord gave me a chance. A whole day to get back in. Unfortunately I didn't take it.
And then Tue, Dec 22 all tendies broke loose, the squeezening. +25% gain. deepfuckingvalue dropping his massive dong in another update. I waddled back and forth in my fetal position. Missed out on ~$300K gain while watching everyone freak out. Felt exactly like this:
Can't feel my dick at all...
Chapter 6: Barking on a STIC
While waddling and scrolling on my phone, I happened to stumble across this post about STIC and BarkBox. Not sure why pound_salt_ deleted the original post but at the time, it was the only post about it on WSB
I was pretty familiar with BarkBox and started researching, it seemed super un-discovered. I liked what I saw: Pets. E-commerce. Subscription. SPAC. Basic white bitches spoiling dogs. This might be worth an all-in.
So on Wed, Dec 23 morning I decided to make a move. All-in at $14.42.
Then I started writing everything I had learned and posted it all in my DD post at 1:46PM ET because I thought it was worth sharing what I found https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/kiypqq/sir_jack_a_lots_next_move_all_in_stic_bark_merge
The price was $14.25 at the time of posting and frankly, price was oddly flat at $14.25 pretty much all day. Lots of people got to buy in at this price. Why did it take me so long to write it? I had actual work meetings all morning and wrote it during my lunch break
Then by the luck of the gods, apparently the CEO of BarkBox, Matt Meeker, went onto CNBC at 3:20PM ET and it started mooning. On Thurs, Dec 24 I awoke to a 20% pop and shared my gains for ya'll to salivate over. Complete. Luck.

Ghost of Christmas Future

Chapter 7: What's next?
Let me be clear. I stand by every word of conviction I mentioned in all my GME and STIC posts, those are still my favorite H1 2021 plays. Holding STIC until merger would most definitely get you some massive gains.
But I'm a swing momentum trader. If I feel like something is running out of steam, has a risk of a rug pull, or another stock has potential to pick up steam with lesser downside, that's when I usually jump around.
I'm not happy with just a +25% in 3 months. I want a +25% compounded on +25% compounded on another +25% in the same 3 month time period.
On Monday, Dec 28 I will probably sell STIC and move all into CRSR again. From technical charting perspective, I'm loving the setup and the magical crayons are telling me we're at the support again and this should bounce in anticipation of strong Q4 earnings.
Now: this is not a ding on STIC or GME, I stand by my 2x-10x claims at some point in H1 2021. It will eventually get there but it might also dip and rise again and I want to swing that dip and rise.
Let me spell it out for some retards: because STIC moon-ed so fast, I want to sell to capture profits and hopefully buy back in on a dip. If STIC had not mooned yet, I would still be holding STIC for a more gradual moon-ing to let my thesis play out. If STIC does not dip but keeps mooning, then I will not chase and happily watch other diamond hands enjoy their tendies.

Q&A / AMAA

I'm fucking tired of answering the same repeated idiotic questions. Let this Q&A serve as an artifact and please link it to new retards. I will also proceed to debunk every single fucking false claim I've read in my last few posts. Also feel free to AMAA in the comments, I'll be replying all day.
  1. How often do you jack off? At least 2 times a day and always before I make a trade for that post-nut clarity
  2. Haha you're going to owe so much in taxes - Nope, this is all in my 401k which in the US means I don't owe taxes until I withdraw. Fucking compounding gains for years bitch
  3. Why are you making such risky trades? My goal is 8 digits or bust, that's my /fatfire number so I can finally quit this wageslave game. It's so obviously stacked against us and requires a lottery moment to reach escape velocity to play on New Game+ where I can live on $400k 4% SWR on $10M. This is my lottery moment and I'm leaning all the fucking way in. That's why I'm chad-ing it up and trying to TIME the market, meaning riding shit up and then jumping back into shit for another ride up. Fuck you Warren Buffet and your 90 y/o "time in the market" boomer bullshit. The next pandemic in 2025 might wipe us all out anyways, I ain't got time to wait for retirement. Gotta will it into existence. YOLO
  4. How are you so good at this? I study everything. Technicals. Charts. Support levels. Volume spikes. Short interest. Executive teams. Rumors. Customer sentiment. Employee morale. Insider trading. MSM manipulation. Comparable market caps. ER reports. Upgrade reports. SEC filings. Meme potential. I literally watch and study every facet I can about a company, and do so quickly.
  5. What's your trading strategy? All-in on a single stock all-shares. The idea is to have a thesis and conviction with that trade. I stay in the trade until the thesis is invalidated or another opportunity arises, it's a simple strategy and it's worked for me so far.
  6. Why do you post on WSB? Internet points is fucking fun. I was banned for like 30 minutes yesterday (on "accident" apparently) and having $200k+ gains without the ability to share was just not the same
  7. How do I follow your next move? Oh just follow my discord/newslett -- no fuck that shit. I don't do discord or newsletters or twitter or anything else. I'll keep posting on WSB until 8 digits or bust (or ban), you can guarantee that.
  8. Why do you remove the time on your screenshots? I'm cropping shit on my iPhone and my username is between the portfolio number and the top bar. Otherwise I'd love to friken show off my perpetual 69% battery level
  9. 15% isn't a real YOLO - I am literally shoving my entire net worth into a single stock every single time. Correct it's not the same as blackjack or FDs where if I got it wrong, I could lose everything but it's still fucking riskier than any ETF or financial advisor with their cuckold MBA would ever advise. One 15% play may not be impressive but compounded together is how you get this 50X in less than a year
  10. Where's PLTR or TSLA? Notice I never once touched PLTR, TSLA, NIO, XBEV, MVIS, etc or any of the other meme stocks WSB loves. That's because I hate being a sheep and following after the curve. I try to find shit right before the curve starts (usually indicated by a volume spike) and most WSB meme stocks are up way too high for my risk tolerance. Too much at stake to lose to a random rug pull moment.
  11. Hey I think I'm your cousin, can I get some money? No you fuck, stop being poor.
  12. Hey do you wanna fuck my ex-wife? Already did, next
  13. You're just using WSB to pump and dump on us - No you fucking idiot.
  • First: look at my post history, I NEVER make a hard recommendation for people to buy a stock. I only share my gains, losses, or DD because it's fucking funny to see how ya'll react. Whether people want to follow my move or not is 100% up to people. Do your own fucking DD and figure out when you want to sell according to your own thesis/risk tolerance.
  • Second: You folks keep asking me for my next move. Well how and when the fuck should I share it? If I post something in the morning, it's stuck in /new for a while until it gets enough upvotes to hit the front page and by then it's already afternoon or market close and the stock might have already done who knows what. That's not pump and dumping, that's just a delayed effect of how Reddit's algorithm works. Anything on the front page is essentially 5-15 hours old news and you need to determine if the state of the world is still the same or be a sheep and chase. It's the same thing once you hear Aunt Cathie or Boomer Cramer mention a stock and it trickles down to you, you're chasing after others have already gotten in
  • Third: My $1.5M is not enough to move any real-volume stock. I don't touch OTC or low-volume shit. For STIC: I have 97K shares and on average 2-4M shares are traded every day for STIC so my account is a like a drop of whale cum in the ocean
  • Fourth: Real pump and dumpers are the shitty scum on the earth. Spend any time in /pennystocks or some Discord or Stocktwits and holy shit, these scum run fucking operations. I've even seen paid newsletters where the highest tier gets the tip "early" to buy in and then the lowefree tiers get the tip which causes the pump for the early buyers to literally dump on and create bag holders on non-existant volume too
  • Fifth: Listen to what DoubleKillGG and his big brain figured out the rest of you retards could not:
The fact is that SIR_JACK_A_LOT is a swing trader. Yes he pumps his stocks and closes relatively quickly but he doesn't pump shit stocks. If you bought any of his positions when he posted you'd be up on everything. A pump and dump requires the dump part where investors are left holding a stock that is worth less than when they bought it. He did, however, break wsb's rule #4; STIC's market cap is below $1B.
His positions closed and what they're worth currently
NCLH: Exit at 17.95. Current share price is 24.51
CHWY: Exit at 44.35. Current share price is 104.10
NCLH (again): Exit at 19.16. Current share price is 24.51
CRSR: Exit at 35.57. Current share price is 36.70
PTON: Exit at 109.46. Current share price is 163.60
GME: Exit at 15.96. Current share price is 20.26
*\*Exits are estimations from his posts*
STIC: Posted DD when share price was around 14.25. Current share price is 17.85
Shout-outs
Some of ya'll are real gems. Major props to:
Fuck You Haters
Last week we got durado so cucked he deleted his account and now kingobama123 is all up on my ass. First, read this magnum dong opus and if you have more questions, ask it in the comments, I'll cum all over you.
POLL
To really drive home the value I bring to WSB, let's see how many peoples' lives I've changed and for the better or worse. Take this poll regarding whether I helped make you gain or lose money if you've been following.
https://www.strawpoll.me/42341589
🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄
🎄🚀🎄🚀Merry Fucking Christmas 🚀🎄🚀
🚀🎄Jerome Powell bless us, every one!🚀🎄
🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀🎄🚀
My usual order is the 13-piece tenders - whopping 1780 calories in a single sitting
submitted by SIR_JACK_A_LOT to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

What are the Iglesia ni Cristo Offerings?

Different types of INC offerings:
  1. Abuloy/Regular Offering
  2. Children's Offering
  3. Locale Funds/Church Offering
  4. Tanging Handugan/Specialized Offering
  5. Lingap/Charity
  6. Lagak/F9
  7. Pasasalamat/Mid-Year and End-Year Thanksgiving
I added what amount I used to give in the Philippines in pesos and Canadian dollars when I moved to Canada
Abuloy/Regular Offering - Average rate: 20-500 pesos/$5-$50CAD. Collected 2 times a week on every service (AM and PM). This is the main fuel source of INC.
Children's Offering - Yes, that child who has no job or any source of income will be required to offer. Amount depends on the parents but averages in between 10-100 pesos/$1-$20CAD. Collected every Sunday. Gotta get that practice ingrained in the children's psyche.
Locale Funds/Church Offering - Average rate: 20-500 pesos/$20-$100CAD. An optional form of offering, in the form of a dropbox. Collected every service. It is used to maintain the locale/district church. (electricity, water, maintenance)
Tanging Handugan/Specialized Offering - Average rate: 100-1000/$20-$100CAD+ Collected every month. A specific offering for their special gatherings, projects, magazines, tv shows, public media, beautification of the church. They could also announce an "emergency" tanging handugan incase they're low on funds.
Lingap/Charity - Average rate: 100-1000+ pesos/$20-$100CAD. Collected every month. Mostly done for PR stunts and publicity. Special offering designed for buying of relief goods/assisting those affected by natural disasters. Now they're using it to build mushroom plantations and farms in Africa in hopes to convert them.
Lagak/F9 - Average rate: 100-1000+ pesos/$20-$50CAD. Collected every Sunday. By the end of the year it will exceed over 5000 pesos/$1000CAD. This is the act of depositing money to the church for the Thanksgiving event. By the end of the year you will receive a receipt stating how much money you've accumulated through the entire year to offer to the church. They do this so the money you will offer for the Thanksgiving will be left untouched. You cannot withdraw the money you deposited. IF YOU ARE PREGNANT THEY WILL IMMEDIATELY REQUIRE YOU OPEN AN ACCOUNT FOR YOUR UNBORN CHILD.
Pasasalamat/Mid-Year and End-Year Thanksgiving - Lagak + Average rate: 500-10,000+ pesos/$50-$300. This is the grand daddy. The big boss. The king of all offerings. Oh, you just received your 13th month pay and Christmas bonus? Christmas is evil. Give that to us. These all go directly to INC central.
submitted by LordEVM to exIglesiaNiCristo [link] [comments]

Kaiserreich Beta 0.15 - 'Leaving for Syria'

The Ottoman rework has been teased for a long time so I know you’ll be happy to hear it is finally here and ready for you to enjoy! Not only that, but the National France rework comes with it two, along with several other new focus trees. We’ve also spent time working on other changes, such as letting you recall volunteers, along with many bug fixes and performance improvements. We hope you enjoy the changes and have fun playing Kaiserreich!
Note: As always this patch isn’t save-game compatible. If you would like to continue your game please use the manual download found here:
- The KR4 team
Changes
Notable Additions
New Focus Trees
Reworked/Expanded Focus Trees
Tweaked Focus Trees
New Events
Tweaked Events
New Decisions
Tweaked Decisions
New Custom Country Paths
GFX
Music Mod
Mapping
Miscellaneous
Fixes
Notable Fixes
Other Fixes
We hope you enjoy playing Kaiserreich as much as we did making it!
- The KR4 Team: Alpinia, Arvidus, Augenis, Blackfalcon501, DSFDarker, Carmain, Dr. Njitram, Drozdovite, Edouard Saladier, Eragaxshim, Flamefang, Fort, JazzyHugh, Jeankedezeehond, Jonjon428, Jonny BL, Krco, Liegnitz, Maltesefalcon, Matoro, Nijato, NukeGaming, OperationsManagementDecisions, PPsyrius, Pietrus, Rei VL, Rylock, SPQR, Starguard, Telcontar101, The Alpha Dog, The Irredentista, Thomahawk2k, Vidyaország, WordZero, Yard1, Zankoas and Zimbabwe Salt Co.
submitted by Alpinia_KR to Kaiserreich [link] [comments]

Oil on Mars

Submission statement: This is a short collapse story written by my good friend who died in 2019. He gave me a USB stick that contained some of his unfinished and completed work before he passed. As far as I know he only self published one novel on smashwords.com. He was not interested in fame or fortune but I know he would have wanted more people to read his work. I know nothing about publishing so I will submit this to collapse readers for your consideration. He wrote his novel under the pseudonym Gregory Truman and I will use that name as the author.
Oil on Mars
By: Gregory Truman
The shocking news was sent back to Earth by the lander Seeker relayed from its Martian atmospheric drone Revealer. The drone was sent specifically to check out the water seepage from the sides of the cliffs bordering the vast Valles Marineris canyon near the Martian equator. The seepage had been discovered from photographs taken on previous missions. The drone took samples hovering over several seeps and did an onboard analysis of the liquid’s content. The result was conclusive. It was a mixture of water and crude oil, equivalent to West Texas Intermediate.
This was unbelievable news. We had all been told that Mars was a dead world; completely lifeless. And that may be true recently, but scientists hurriedly hypothesized that over a billion years ago when Mars was temperate with oceans and rain, the land could have been covered with some kind of primitive plant life. There may even have been a Carboniferous like epoch that could have lasted for several hundred million years.
Just by looking at the highly eroded mountains of Mars and the ancient dry river beds and flood plains one can plainly see evidence of rain and floods and from the multiple times the water ice caps had melted that would have buried almost everything that once lived upon the surface. The combination of heat and pressure and time had done the same thing on Mars as it had done to deeply buried organic material here on Earth; it was transformed it into crude oil. The world was astounded. The debate started immediately; how to take advantage of this discovery?
Conditions on Earth had worsened since the beginning of the 21st century. There was still some oil in the ground, but it was costly to drill for it. The market for oil had been drying up for years, with very few planes still flying. The oil that was left was needed to generate electrical power. It was expensive and beyond the reach of most people who were still switching to bicycles to get around. The cities and suburbs and country side were mostly depopulated and littered with the hulks of rusting automobiles. Plagues, pestilence, bad weather and crop failure had more than decimated world populations. People had become resigned to a harsh world. Few had any hope for a better future. Governments and the ruling classes were more vicious in their attempts to hold on to their power and privileges. Every endeavor had been corrupted. Every attempted reform and revolution was ruthlessly crushed. Things were getting worse for the wealthy also. They were finding it difficult to buy wine, hire servants, and to eat fancy foods.
The economy everywhere had been propped up by cheap credit for decades. Profits and taxes had been strip-mined from every enterprise that used credit to survive and were soon bankrupted when credit was denied. There were not enough jobs, not enough customers, and not enough profits left to pay their debts. The world economy had not only stopped growing, it was continuing to contract.
The central banks of the world had tried flooding their markets with monetary liquidity, but they could not create more jobs. They reluctantly had to give free money to their citizens to increase spending and revive growth. In the U.S., to avoid another inflationary spiral the monthly stipend was only a little more than for subsistence, just enough to prevent more rioting. It wasn’t enough money to get people spending again the way they did before the crisis. Economists believed that growth could only begin again after a fresh start. But what could a government do to contrive a fresh start? Someone in a think tank convinced powerful people that what was needed was a new reason to grow the economy, some goal to revive the animal spirits of a dejected populace. This news from Mars seemed to provide the perfect prescription. Headlines and news channels around the world soon screamed out the idea: WE ARE GOING TO MARS!
Almost everyone knew it would be too expensive to ship oil from Mars to Earth, so the plan was to go to Mars and burn the oil there, to generate power for the first pioneering colonists. All the other products derived from petroleum would soon be available to those colonists from Earth. The public were told not to think too much about the details, those would be worked out by experts. The point to keep in mind was we were finally going to Mars! And that thought did arouse some animal spirits in a population that seemed to have lost all enthusiasm.
People wanted to know exactly who and how many were actually going. They were told that after careful screening, the number of colonists would be decided according to technical and practical considerations. Hopefully the minimum number would be around a dozen people for the initial launch and many more on subsequent launches. Everyone was encouraged to apply if they were interested in going, but they must be prepared for hard work to acquire the skills that would be needed for survival on Mars. The selection process would be long and arduous. The whole world would be contributing to this grand adventure; the expansion of mankind to a new world. Old rivalries would be forgotten as we forged a new commitment to the future of the human race. This optimism inspired more than a few to hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Many wealthy people had been preparing to retreat into their underground bunkers for years, when conditions became severe enough. They were hoping their precautions would allow them to ride out the projected mass extinction for a little while longer. Most had accepted that it was inevitable by then with the mounting evidence all around them. Some millionaires had become billionaires over the years buying out the means of production and the supply chains for the bare necessities of life the impoverished masses depended upon. The average person had no chance for any upward mobility.
Most of the public realized by then that the root of the problem had something to do with wealth inequality; the growing gap between the vast wealth accumulated by a few families and the poverty of the majority of people struggling just to survive. Whether this was the cause or a result of the decline, or if it was the fault of capitalism itself was hotly debated. The great grandchildren of the baby boomers had all grown up wondering how their elders could have been so complacent; satisfied with bread and circuses instead of addressing or even acknowledging the growing crisis. Older people often defended themselves with standard responses: We didn’t know; we were preoccupied with personal problems; we had no real power to change anything; and life is short, we did not evolve traits to cope with long range problems. These and other excuses were unacceptable to the young. Many were becoming increasingly angry by the fact that billionaires could exist in this world while millions of people, mostly children, starve to death every year. To them, this was proof enough of a great crime against humanity. And this was an ongoing crime, because when wealthy people died their great fortunes lived on and continued to grow as they were passed down within the family to the next generation of trust fund babies, who would acquire that wealth only by an accident of birth.
This process of wealth accumulation and inheritance appeared to be a hold- over from at least the feudal times of lords and kings in the middle ages. The lords would take a percentage of the peasant’s crop. More recently they take a share of income. But there are still no taxes on wealth. There have been some improvements in human affairs over the centuries but the rules of wealth and inheritance remain unreformed most likely by the power of the wealthy themselves who have institutionalized and benefitted from the status quo. Those people who cared enough about this problem could not see a way to remedy the inequity. To do so would require major changes to the political and economic system, but none of them could even conceive of a way to accomplish the drastic reforms necessary to make those changes. And even if there was a way to do it, they knew the vested interests of big money would never allow those changes to happen. The situation appeared hopeless. A growing percentage of the world’s population were angry, believing that one way or another; the rich still ruled the world and were ultimately responsible for most of the suffering in it.
Very wealthy people were often vilified for their avarice and sometimes physically attacked in their homes and fortified compounds. In spite of their precautions, they were increasingly anxious about the locations of their bunkers becoming known. They could no longer feel safe anywhere. They were becoming so afraid of their less fortunate neighbors that several billionaires petitioned the government to grant them passage to Mars, and they were willing to pay their own way to get there. They hoped they could maintain their lifestyle in a more secure place, and possibly even escape the progressing mass extinction here on Earth.
Because of the lost tax revenue from the financial collapse, the U.S. government always needed more money that it didn’t have to barrow or create for itself. It had become accustomed to accommodating the well to do and making promises it could not keep. So it just made sense to take some wealthy families to Mars if they would be willing to pay the exorbitant ticket price of 500 million dollars per person. A few in the top tenth of the one percent were eager to pay that amount for each family member if it meant a continuation of their privileged life on another world they believed would be safer from the risk and the squalor on this one. For their financial help they demanded and were promised their own small city of rich people where they would not be troubled by rubbing shoulders with the technical rabble that would be needed to maintain the colonies. The cost of the Mars project was estimated to approach half a year of the United States’ gross domestic product. The public were told this infusion of funds from the world’s wealthiest families would help to mitigate that cost by many billions of dollars. Even though they would contribute nothing else to the project, their money made it worthwhile to take them along.
Needless to say, there was a huge amount of skepticism about this plan. The Russians and the Chinese were the first to pour cold water on the scheme. They would not participate in what they called a desperate boondoggle by a degenerating empire to swindle the last remaining wealth from its people. The scientific community was divided. Most reputable scientists scoffed at the idea, calling it impractical to impossible. Others, especially from the aero-space and mining industries and those receiving grants from the government, supported the plan. Economists believed it would revive the economy with large construction contracts and increase employment. It didn’t seem to matter to them if the project succeeded or not. Most of the public who were never going to Mars were against the idea. Even those who were uninformed about all the technical problems involved laughed about it. Rational objections were raised about every aspect of the plan and responses to them were supplied by the president and his supporters. Here are some of those objections:
Q. There is no oxygen on Mars. What will people breathe? And how can you burn the oil without oxygen?
A. “We will take enough oxygen to Mars to get us started. Scientists from the mining industry are working on extracting oxygen from Martian mineral deposits.”
Q. There is no energy source on Mars. Where will you get the power to do anything?
A. “A small nuclear plant will be set up on Mars initially. It will be cooled by melted water ice dug out of the sub-soil of Mars. Eventually there will be oil fired power plants. Adding more carbon dioxide to the Martian atmosphere will actually help to warm the planet in the long run.”
Q. How will you get the oil out of the ground? From the seepage on the canyon walls the oil deposits are believed to be more than six miles deep.
A. “We will drill laterally from the seeps in the canyon walls.”
Q. There is no real soil on Mars. How will you grow any food?
A. “Most food will be grown hydroponically. We will take some soil with us and create more using Martian dirt. We will only have to take food with us in the beginning.”
Q. Almost everything you need must be taken with you to Mars. How much material by weight must you take to support one person for one year?
A. “At first supplies per person will be quite substantial. Heavy lift robot transport rockets will be built to move supplies to Mars before humans are sent there.”
Q. There are harmful cosmic rays, solar radiation and small meteors reaching the surface of Mars. How will your habitats be protected?
A. “Habitats will be constructed mostly underground. Boring machines will be sent to Mars before people arrive, with enough fuel and oxygen to run them when they do.”
Q. The amount of sunlight reaching Mars will not allow you to grow crops the way we do here on Earth. How do you plan to solve that problem?
A. “We will use grow lights and solar collecting and distribution mirrors.”
Q. How long will it take for humans to become self-sufficient on Mars?
A. “Current estimates are in about ten years.”
Q. That seems overly optimistic. Most scientists say it will take at least twenty years. How did you derive your estimate? And we don’t have twenty years left.
A. “The President has determined that all these challenges will be overcome. Idle speculation of this sort does not help us accomplish our goals. We should all be grateful for the jobs and opportunities this great endeavor has provided for us, and we should all get back to work.”
Despite other objections from many quarters the program was rushed through congress and approved. The European Union soon backed out of the deal, with one French wag declaring the Americans had discovered a new way to dig holes and fill them in again. Contracts were let to major defense contractors and smaller companies also got onto the gravy train. Finally even the Japanese and the British dropped out and the Americans, as the self-proclaimed leader of the free world, had to soldier on alone.
Only a few people would be going to Mars and the rest would have to stay on this world that was rapidly winding down to ruin. It was difficult for most of them to get excited about this grand enterprise. They respected the brave and well trained Martian colonists with whom they would vicariously share the great adventure. But they had developed a loathing for the wealthy people they viewed as parasites attaching themselves to the best of humanity and escaping from a world they had already wrecked with their greed. The common belief was those billionaires would end up ruining Mars too.
Within two years the first of the robot freight hauling ships was launched towards Mars. No more would be launched before the first one touched down successfully after a seven month journey. It was on a one way trip; there was no fuel to send it back. Some of its parts were designed for duel use by the colonists when they arrived. They would dismantle the ship and use many of its parts for other construction. The first of the colonists would be a skeleton crew of technicians to prepare quarters for the next group to arrive.
During the next three years fourteen more robot transport ships landed on Mars, four more than originally planned. The project was now a year behind schedule. Three trillion dollars had already been spent. Project designers refining the plan discovered unexpected expenses and huge cost over runs in every department. The cost in fuel alone to lift miles of insulated steel pipe into orbit far exceeded the original allocation for the task. Another nuclear power plant had to be constructed and shipped to Mars just to heat enough water pumped into those pipes plus the chemicals needed to make the oil eventually flow. More containers of compressed Earth atmosphere and oxygen were needed to supply the growing list of the world’s billionaire families who were buying tickets to escape from the depredations in their lifestyle here on Earth. Many complained about having to live like the peasants around them. Their luxuries were becoming almost impossible to find.
The government early on had classified the whole project. Cost over runs and promises never meant to be kept were a routine method of government operations. They accepted any prospective migrant willing to pay for a ticket. The government would not give up that revenue stream. Even pets were accepted; 300 million for a dog, 200 million for a cat, 100 million for a bird. They drew the line at hamsters or rats. They knew the project was over-extended but as with the F35 fighter jet, the usual solution for government failure is to throw more money at the problem.
Public relation firms were hired to give periodic optimistic progress reports about the project. Commercial artists were employed to render beautiful Martian landscapes featuring futuristic looking colonial buildings and enterprises that were displayed on television and over the internet. By then most of the world’s billionaires had decided that the option of living on Mars was their best choice to insure the safety and the future for themselves and their heirs. There were now more billionaires going to Mars than the trained specialists needed to maintain the colony.
Within the nexus of the classified program were the intelligence agencies with access to all the data. They could see the project for what it truly was; an out of control boondoggle just as their presumed enemies had described it. The wealthy and well-connected had swindled the American public once again. Some of the perpetrators who became billionaires embezzling government funds had themselves bought tickets, unaware that the project had become a complete scam. There was not going to be enough money to build a city for the wealthy people. There was not enough equipment or supplies for half the people signed up to go or enough rockets to carry them all to Mars.
Those intelligence agencies considered it their duty to cover up government ineptitude and to extricate politicians from policies and situations that would make them look like complete fools to the rest of the world. It had always been a tough and nasty job and they were not known for their scruples while doing it. The U.S. government had no intention of refunding billions of dollars to billionaires. To accomplish the government’s objective the agencies came up with a plan that also included, as an incidental bonus, a remedy for the wealth inequality dilemma.
Revisions to the project’s schedule were forcefully suggested. Notice was given to the ticket holders that they would all be leaving on the last rocket to Mars after the elaborate preparations for their arrival were completed. They would embark on the journey in a completely refurbished freighter with all the amenities they were accustomed to. Some passengers demanded to leave sooner, conditions on Earth were getting just too insufferable to stay any longer they complained. They were mollified with illustrations of the luxurious state rooms, the fine dining opportunities and the grand ballroom aboard the ship.
Seven years after the first appropriations from congress, and two and a half years behind schedule, the first of the highly trained colonists were launched into space for the historic trip with great fanfare. Social interactions among the twelve crew members were avidly followed by the world’s citizens during that long journey to Mars. Some of the live coverage was real and some was scripted to enhance the drama. Four more ship loads of astronauts, engineers, scientists and technicians eventually touched down on the red planet. For the foreseeable future, those sixty pioneers would be the full complement of humans on Mars.
They managed to get the small nuclear plant at the base camp working well enough, but the one designed to pump hot water to liquefy the oil had broken off the cliff edge during assembly and tumbled down the boulder strewn slope to the bottom of the Valles Marineris Canyon. The technicians never did get the hydroponics going, but there would be enough food and oxygen to last for several years if the wealthy families were not coming. On the advice of the intelligence agencies, and after spending more than eight trillion dollars, the politicians and those in charge had secretly decided to cut their losses and pulled the remaining funding from the project.
As the last great ship filled with over seven hundred wealthy colonists on their way to the fabulous new city on Mars, they were relieved of their cellular devices as they entered. They were informed their use could interfere with the ship’s operations, and they would not work at all on Mars. Accommodations inside the ship were nothing like those they had seen advertised. There were no crew members on board. Not a single acceleration couch could be found, just empty decks and compartments stripped bare of equipment and supplies. It was too late to complain about them. They lifted off automatically at the appointed hour but failed to reach orbit and burned up in the atmosphere over the Atlantic Ocean. A technical error was blamed for the mishap. The intelligence agencies and most of the people on Earth cried only crocodile tears for those who had been lost, believing both Mars and this old world would stand a better chance without them.
submitted by thecurseofhope to collapse [link] [comments]

What's the frequency Kenneth?

I was desperate for a job.
My bank balance was giving me dirty looks. Why should it be any different?
I was living on a cash advance at 27% interest and I wasn't sure if I should go to Tijuana for 19 Coronas or take a flyer off the six story walkup in Brooklyn where I dwelt.
I was about to flip a coin when I got a LinkedIn notification on the new phone I could not afford.
This was odd because I had turned off notifications. All notifications. I just wanted some; peace. and. quiet.
The LinkedIn notification went a little something like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Kenneth. I know you'd be perfect for a once in a lifetime opportunity to help humanity and grow wealthy.
Hi Kenneth,
Hope you're doing great! But word on the street is you may not be...
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Korinna Klaus.
I represent a private equity backed startup that is looking for a software engineer and architect with extensive startup experience. You've been recommended to me by a mutual colleague and I have to say: I AM IMPRESSED. Your background is a perfect fit for this exclusive opportunity with my exclusive client.
Kenneth: This is not your normal startup.
We sought you because you have a reputation as an out of the box thinker who's willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
And since I KNOW you're a no-nonsense DOERr (sic) who tells it like it is; allow me to do the same.
Money is NO object.
Repeat. This client wants you and all you have to do is name your price. No screening. No background check. And a handsome signing bonus. I mean hey, Ken... what have you got to lose?
Due to the sensitive nature of this opportunity please call me on my direct mobile at the number below.
Yours truly,
Korinna Klaus
Head of Talent Acquisition
FFC, LLC
(Phone # redacted)
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I looked at my dog Rudder.
He was counting on me to bring home the bacon. A roach crawled out of the sink full of dishes and empty Guinness cans.
"I've been here too long" I said to the empty room.
Wrong turn in Albuquerque
The whole thing stank like a weekend in Tijuana. I was not what you would call an expert architect or software engineer. I mean I could muddle through but I was what you call an accidental programmer. You see when I was young...
I had a Dream
FREE COMICS FOR CHRISTMAS - 1992
I was finally back in Park Slope after a seven year exile.
The momster had made good on her promise to have me out on my ass the day I turned 18. I had managed to make it through five years of SUNY, a year of law school and then when I saw my life flash before my eyes on one sunny afternoon in Camden New Jersey I knew I had to do something else with my life.
After a shitty job working for a ghoulish estate raider in the South Bronx I got a phone call with a "once in a lifetime" opportunity.
It was my Dad Herman.
The same Dad who let his retard wife slam the door in my face when the momster put me on the streets. The same Herman unit who let me sleep in a comic book store in the tenth grade for 26 days until the truant officers got involved.
"Just hear me out.
Mickey and me got the comic store right on the corner across the street from Kings Plaza. It's gonna be a gold mine. I know you're smart. I want you to run it. We can make millions!"
I had needed a job and Herman did have good weed so what the fuck; in for a penny, in for a buck.
The Big Light Bulb
A month later I was running the comic shop and one day while perusing our distributor's monthly catalogue I had a vision. What if....??
What if I started a club? What if I charged a yearly membership and gave a cool membership card. And every month my club members would order in advance from the same catalogue as the comic shops? And for a discount? Just like a comic store.
I should also add this was 1991 and comics were going through one of those Game Stop, real-estate, dotcom, tulip, comic book bubbles with 5 separate holofoil Robin #1 bullshit gimmick manufactured collectible covers guaranteed to put your kids through college; or more likely to sit in a dusty long box in your attic with all those Turok #0s with the chromium whatsis. Good times.
So I tried out my idea for a discount advance purchasing club in the comic shop and one day 25 people joined for 25 clams each. On the way home I stopped at my boy Foz's place in Chinatown and showed him the wad of cash.
"Wow dude." Foz said as he packed me a binger of the shwag.
"I wanna advertise in the whole Marvel line in November with a Christmas ad. It's twenty-five thousand clams but if we get a few thousand people to join we could make crazy jack bro!"
Skip to the important part....
After a lot of drama and ragging on his shwag Foz decided to take his last forty thousand bucks left from an inheritance of four hundred thousand pounds he blew through in just under three years.
"I'm in," he said and he was good as his word.
My father finally agreed to leave the comic shop and his retard partner Mickey and go big.
Two Months Later
I couldn't handle all the business. So we brought in all our friends from college as partners. One of them, Lou Toast, was supposed to write the software cause handling hundreds of comic book orders without computers was threatening to put me in bankruptcy before I was barely airborne.
Three Months Later: Software bug and thirty thousand dollars of orders goes POOF
Toast had a bug in the order processing program he wrote in FoxPro. Bam, just like that when our order to our distributor Heroes World was due he informed me, "Ooooh. It's all gone. I put the order in RAM and we had the blue screen of death and well, I gotta go meet Boy George."
What. The. Fuck.
True story. I told that motherfucker you sit your Boy George hardon back down in that seat and find me my comic book orders or so help me I'm gonna shove those Vienna sausages on your desk so far up your ass Boy George is gonna taste 'em backwards.
I loved Toast like a brother. And nobody cared if he was out of the closet either. But this was serious business and if I didn't get my order in we would lose our discount and take a bath and maybe the fat lady would sing before the first act was complete.
Toast and I brawled. Wren and Foz pulled me off him. I apologized. I felt awful. I told him it was wrong and I was sorry. He sat back down, did not go to presumably see Boy George and tumble for him. We all typed the orders back in the Lantastic of 386s and somehow I dodged that bullet.
However, I had a bigger problem. I needed software and I had tried everything. Hired a consultant who had created an app for the stores called, ACES. Adaptable Comic Entry System. It sucked and the dude always had an excuse; pneumonia, his mother jumped off the cloisters; name it. And here I had already paid him thousands; for nothing.
So I hatched a plan. I would lock myself in Foz' apartment in Park Slope for 3 months and learn how to program. I made a deal with Toast to stay another few months and help me take over the computers. I bought a book called Mastering FoxPro for Windows 2.5 and my descent into hell began.
Eventually I took over and was able to automate the entire business in a few years. We moved to a warehouse on Long Island and suffered through the....
COMIC WARS
The mid 90s was an ugly time for retail comics. The decade had started with almost ten thousand comic shops and scores of distributors and healthy competition. Then some yahoo at Marvel Comics decided to buy my distributor Heroes World and cut out all the other distributors from about 35% of their monthly gross.
It was a FUCKING DISASTER.
So after scraping by and falling deeper into debt year after year, unable to find financing, unable to successfully diversify I found a bankruptcy lawyer and I went belly up. I was thirty years old.
DOT COM BOOM
EARN $175 an HOUR - JAVA EXPERTS WANTED
Yep. I went from one bubble bursting straight into another. No I didn't make $175 an hour and I could never figure out Java. I found some FoxPro consulting work and for the next ten years I tried to learn it all. Visual Basic, SQL Server, ASP, ASP.NET, C#, Javascript, JQuery, NodeJS, MVC, and I kept working a year, finding myself unemployed for three to six months until I finally found an okay spot at the Bank of New York.
And then another Bubble; Sub-prime debacle.
After struggling to stay employed I finally found my spot and worked hard and by 2008 I talked them into paying me $800 a day. I was forty. I figured if I could just stay there it would be all right.
The Big Recession - All consultants must go.
Easy come, Easy go.
So.... I was out of work. Another bubble had burst. And then me and my best friend decided to launch a startup. Only I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. You see I never wanted to be a programmer. And yeah, I could program, and I could understand the deeper concepts but I could never hang with the real geniuses.
Face it Kenneth. You're just a hack.
So yeah, I created a music service just as the RIAA was successfully suing every music startup like Grooveshark right out of business. And I found myself 45, out of work, and deep in debt. Hibbity hobbity back to consulting.
Oh I could say I landed on my feet. I got a job as an architect straight away at Bank of America but three months later they did a re-org and I was told if I was in Charlotte they would have kept me. So the day before Thanksgiving they cut me loose. But my manager met me in the city to take back the laptop and buy me a pint of Guinness.
He looked me in the eye and said, "It's death by a thousand cuts."
I went to Southeast Asia on a lark for a couple of months and came back and found more work at Bank of America in Jersey City. Only the consulting company I was hired through was cut from their preferred list and my contract could not be renewed.
And then there was the 18 months at the Mossad psycho company where the owner kept talking some shit about pushing concrete barrels up a hill and I should work 18 hours a day if I was a man like him and well, it was fun watching his face melt in meetings but eventually the LSD stops working.
So I did what any other single maniac having a perpetual whole life crisis . I saw my Aunt in Tampa, drove to Fort Lauderdale to see my best friend and business partner who was just as deep in debt as I from our last venture.
We had one idea left.
A restaurant app my buddy thought up. We were going to make a developer who had worked for me at my last job as a partner and let him develop it but at the last minute his employer in Noida made him an offer he could not refuse and the kid begged off.
So I found myself in the Dominican Republic pounding away on the keyboard desperate to learn the Google Cloud, master Angular and NoSQL. You see as a programmer I am always a frustrated freshman. But when you need software and you ain't got two nickels to rub together you make do with what you got and what I had was me.
So I sat in that mold infested luxury hotel room on the beach and I began coding. Five months later I found myself in Mexico City in a run down apartment with no screens on the windows and a white female cat for company.
I had gotten tired of shooing the cat out and it kept freaking me out when I opened the bathroom door at 3am to take a piss and saw the cat sitting there like a dog its green eyes shining up to me.
One night while I was sleeping the cat put its paw on my chest and said, "they're coming for you." I was sure I dreamed it the next morning.
I drank a lot of Mexican beer, the cat always close by watching. I kept coding and then I came back to Brooklyn.
I had done it and all on my own. I had even written a business plan and created a pitch deck. I would hire a professional to polish it and then maybe, just maybe I could make good for once in my life. Get me and my partner in the black; for once. Just for variety.
NOT TO BE
And then the pandemic hit. Nobody going to restaurants. No business travelers. No nothing.
So I did what any other hard boiled shitty hack developer would do. I borrowed yet more money and kept trying to learn the latest skills. Docker containers. AWS Fargate. Azure. .NET CORE, Lambda expressions, and on and on ad nauseam. It was a curse.
And all the interviews with the endless technical questions that I spent endless time memorizing. All because of comic books? Boy George? The Napster? Who. The. Fuck. Is. Ruining. My. Life.
MEA CULPA
At a certain point you have to come to grips.
Here I was in about to exit the sunnyside of my 50s if such a thing could exist. I can't compete with the new wave of young modern developers who seem to know everything while I find myself continuously debugging and cursing and never able to compile the Microsoft sample github.
Basically I was a mess which brings us to last Thursday.
Hi Kenneth. I know you'd be perfect for a once in a lifetime opportunity to help humanity and grow wealthy
And here I am about to go belly up. I mean they keep knocking me down and I keep getting up but its been 50 years of broken home to foster care to mom to Dad to step-mother slamming the door in my face to sleeping in a comic book store in Bay Ridge and shucking rock for Joe Rockhead all the way to SUNY ghostwriting, law school drop out, comic jock, software consultant, music app wanna be, unemployed single and having to wear glasses and shave my head.
This is what is referred to as...
A Revolting Development
So I did what any other down on his luck red blooded American man would do; I called Ms. Klaus.
"Hi Kenneth!"
It was as if she was somewhere in her office looking at her watch and mumbling, "In 3, in 2 and ..." as I punched her digits.
"Hi Korinna. How are you?"
"I am FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! Thanks for asking. But this isn't about me. This is about you Kenneth."
"Well what's your once in a lifetime offer?"
"Yes. Good. Good. Good," she said.
I said nothing which is something I wished I had learned to do long ago.
"Sure. Sure. You wanna know. Well I am going to tell you. We are running an entirely remote team launching a new technological service to a very exclusive clientele. A very bigly clientele if you catch my drift."
Did she just say, "bigly???"
"A very well heeled clientele if you know what I mean," she said and let it hang in case I wanted squeeze the Charmin.
"I'm listening," I replied.
My dog Rudder sniffed his balls and knit his eyebrows and gave me the, "I got a bad feeling on this one Dad," look I was all too familiar with.
Rudder was rarely wrong but I was rarely in a position to be choosy. I was an accidental programmer in a world I never created and each year that passed burned my ass worse than the one before.
"Kenneth. We are far along in our platform and we need a 'can-do guy'. Someone who can communicate. Tell it like it is, if you will. Are you following me?"
This was starting to sound like some government grade A bullshit.
"Well I've been working in Angular and I am okay at .NET and SQL but I still have to spend a lot of time on Google and StackOverfl-"
"Never mind that Kenneth. Tune in to what is happening here."
"Okay."
"We know about you. We know you came up hard. We know you made it through uni with high grades despite eating shrooms and acid and smoking weed incessantly. We know you were a ghostwriter. We know you witnessed a murder in Camden when you were in law school and had a breakdow-"
"OKAY!" I interjected. "I don't know what kind of bullshit scam you're running Karinna, Kristina,, or whatever the fuck your name is but yeah, you're right. We are in a fucking pandemic, I am trapped in an overpriced closet the last 20 years and I feel like a goddamned retard everytime I take a technical interview. As a matter of fact, I am probably the last person you want to lead your startup."
WHOAH. THAT DID NOT SOUND LIKE ME. I NEVER SHOWED.....
F.E.A.R.
This time it was Korinna who interjected.
"No you don't listen with your mouth Kenneth.
That's your mistake. What? You think you're special.
'Poor poor pitiful me?'
Well fucking Linda Ronstadt can't do concerts anymore and the world is fucking gone full blown Dr. Strangelove and you think being an iconoclast makes you special? Well I have news for YOU; it does! And we want to hire you. Today. Now."
I was going to tell her I had to think about it a bit.
I wanted to talk money.
But I didn't feel right. My palms were sweaty. My vision blurrier than usual. I took off my glasses and for a second I could see perfectly. Like when I was young.
It was a vision.
Like the vision I had the night when I was 5 in 1972. Right after I learned about betrayal.
They had conned me into getting my tonsils out by telling me that I could eat all the ice cream in the world I wanted. But that was bullshit because my throat was so raw that the ice cream cut like a knife but fuck YOU--Bryan Adams; it did NOT feel all right. So shove your na-na-na-NA-na-nahhhs right up your ass.
I remembered the Barbie face that materialized on my wall. Clear as day. Like an HDTV of the future. Only it was real and Barbie looked sexy AF. Only her smile changed. Pearly whites morphing into slime covered triangular gnashing machines. Eyes blood red crying tears of the same. And the laugh. It was the laugh that said you're whole world is about to change son. And you here have proof. A premonition to last your entire life. Like Sisyphus, Like Icarus... No matter how high you fly you'll always come crashing down.
The room spun. I felt the small hairs on my neck raise. I felt that Sunday night adrenaline dump hit my blood stream. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Can't fight. Can't flee. Just another Manic Monday coming your way. Just like any other day. Only you will keep losing. Endless unfulfilling meaningless to your existence. The women will see you as a compendium of check boxes on their to-do list. Over and over. The eternal return. Like Jorma's roommate Professor Manchester said, "Those olives WILL call to you in the middle of the night...."
I rubbed my eyes. I-I was crying. Blood. Rudder got up in my face and began licking it....
"Ken... Kenneth!! Tune in."
I had forgot all about the Klaus bitch. I was entering Coronaryville USA; populate; ME. WTF?!?!
My. Mother. Was. Back. And you're gonna be in trouble... Hey nah... hey nah....
It had been 35 years since I had cut bait. The bitch with the fast right hand. The hair puller. The avocado face monster who was always revoking my privileges and giving away my pets and sabotaging any shred of joy I might experience on this planet.
"I told you. You would fail. Just.Like.Your.FATHERRRRRRRR..."
My father Herman. Yeah you remember him. He who incidentally caught a heart attack and was found by my stepbrother with one hand in the air which was misinterpreted as a, "GTFO of my room," due to their OscaFelix ongoing Sanford & Son drama. Truth be told he got a little ripe there in the end.
God my fucking life flashed before my blood stained eyes. I wanted to fight.
Korinna said, "You have to hit rock bottom Ken."
And then I saw everyone ridiculing me. Ostracizing me. Bringing me to the gallows pole. I pissed my satin pajamas. The ones I had been wearing all week as my funk got industrial strength.
I. Felt.My.Mouth.Seal.Shut.
I could not speak. I could not scream.
"You don't listen with your mouth," Korinna said.
I cried harder. I wanted it to stop. It was like coming down off of all the cocaine in the universe. Mel Brooks anxiety would need a year of the endo to match the altitude of my anxiety. I wanted to die.
"If you kill Rudder it will end," Korinna said.
I saw Rudder. Lapping my face. Whining.
And then something odd happened.
It was like all the moments of clarity and enlightenment I ever experienced came together to let me see it all as an illusion. The fear. The mindless reaction. Kill me. Don't kill me. But shit or get off the pot. The audience is growing restless; trust me.
"You've got the job!" Korinna cooed.
"What?"
"Check your bank account Kenneth. Your business account. We've deposited a retainer for your first month."
I checked my bank balance.
I was bucks up. Enough to not only get me out of debt but my partner too! Almost to the penny.
I felt fear turn to relief; or was it greed?
"You felt it? Did you not?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That Mr. Kenneth," Korinna said, "was the FEAR FREQUENCY. People are paying us a pretty penny for exclusive use of this very cutting edge technology. It makes dependency injection look like a hammer and anvil."
I ain't proud to say I took the job.
That was four months ago.
You won't believe this and I don't blame you. I don't expect you to.
I still don't. I don't even quite know what I am doing all the time.
I am monitoring three offshore teams. I believe the current state of the world has been induced or incited or catalyzed by the fear frequency.
I don't know how it is possible but after every project we complete; particularly with the team from Yerevan; the world grows a little darker and my bank account a little bigger.
I tried to resign a few days ago and the nightmares began. They gave me another raise and put me on probation. Korinna reminded me of the company's HR motto; FEAR IN-FEAR OUT
So next time you feel that free floating anxiety, the next time you start making decisions; life decisions; remember the frequency Kenneth; the fear frequency.
submitted by moishepesach to nosleep [link] [comments]

Album of the Year Write-Up #19: Deante' Hitchcock - Better

LISTEN

Artist - Deante'Hitchcock
Album - Better&psig=AOvVaw0WyIf0sXDgKUzZZE_1e9HT&ust=1610156927364000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCIipqpKci-4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ)
Spotify
Apple Music
Youtube
Tidal

BACKGROUND

Deante' Hitchcock is an Atlanta-based rapper that has been gradually gaining buzz since 2016. His first mixtape, Good, helped get his name out there, and to kick-start the trilogy of his career - Good, Better, Best. Good was the first mixtape, Better is his first album, and Best will be the name of his last. At this point in the background, I'm required to point out how most people have heard of Deante' - his car freestyle series. This has become somewhat of a point of contention for Deante', because while he appreciates what those freestyles did to build his buzz, it's frustrating for an artist to be known for one thing they did when they've got so much more to offer.
For many rap fans, the first time they heard Deante' was on the J Cole-driven Revenge of the Dreamers III. Deante' was one of the many talented people that were invited out to those sessions, and his connections with fellow Atlanta-based rappers JID, 6LACK, Young Nudy, and more likely helped with that. He only ended up appearing on the track "PTSD", but many un-initiated fans took note of how slick he sounded on the track. That may have been the last piece he needed to begin the process of putting out his debut commercial album, Better.
Better shows Deante' re-writing the script on what kind of rapper he is. He's done with people who recognize him going "oh, you the dude who freestyles in the car". That series did what it was meant to do, and got his name out there. People know he can rap now. But he's got so much more to offer, and his experience on tour with JID helped mold the direction he took with Better. While talking with JID, he decided to transition into a soulful direction. They had similar experiences when touring - they blew up as rappers, people showed up to see them rap their asses off. But he felt a disconnect from his audience, feeling more like a spectacle to watch than an experience to engage in. His new direction stemmed from that, with more "soulful" production and more "call-and-response"-type tracks. He wanted the audience to be a part of the experience, rather than onlookers.

TRACK-BY-TRACK REVIEW

I Remember

The opening track to Deante's debut commercial album finds him looking back at everything it took to get here. Going from starting out to putting out your first album is such a monumental effort for any artist, and every step along the way is a part of molding you into the artist you've become. For Deante', that meant a lot more than just struggling as a rapper. He's spent most of his adult life dead-broke, and those struggles are such a huge part of what fuel him. Everything it took for him to get here - and everyone who helped him along the way - is incredibly important to him, and it only makes sense that he spends the opening track to his first album reminiscing on those times.
If I said it, I done lived it
N*gga how could I forget it?
I remember everything.
In-house producer Brandon Phillips-Taylor brings a beat that's certainly interesting. At times it can border on being noisy, and that's a constant throughout this record. But even if the actual instrumentation can overwhelm at times, he has such a dope way of layering in background vocals that it usually makes up for it. They give some depth to the sound in certain points, and it makes things feel richer in certain points. Even with the instrumentals, he's never afraid to peel back and add in sounds and layers to give lines or hooks more power or clarity. The fact that he also produces the vast majority of this record gives it more continuity as well, and when he plays with the depth and layers of the record, it really shines.
As far as the actual content of the track, it brings new fans up to speed with who Deante' is and what's brought him to this point. It also serves to introduce them to Deante's style as a rapper, and the best way I've found to describe it is....casual. In the best possible way. I don't know if that makes any sense, so I'll try to explain. When Lupe Fiasco starts rapping, I feel like I have to focus on the bars like a final exam just to make sure I catch some of what he's saying. When Kendrick starts spitting, I've gotta sit up in bed, like just as a respect thing. And that's not to say that Deante' isn't a high caliber rapper, because he absolutely is. But he just makes the listener feel comfortable, like he's just some dude telling his story and trying to make it big doing this rap shit. I can't help but want to support someone who's so clearly a genuine dude making genuine music. This track, and the record as a whole, feel conversational, and within a few listens you start to feel like you know him. That's where his biggest strengths lie, because while he's really good at, you know, rapping.... so are a lot of other people who make way less interesting music. Deante feels like he's someone you've known your whole life, and the fact that he's got insane talent for rapping is just a bonus.

I Got Money Now (feat. JID)

Earlier, I mentioned how Deante' went on tour with JID on his Catch Me If You Can tour. That was actually my introduction to Deante' - I had no idea who this dude was, but he came out with this energy that was absolutely undeniable. The way he rocked the crowd, you would've thought it was his tour. And one thing that stood out was how much you could just feel him savoring the moment, looking from fan to fan and holding onto that eye contact just a little bit longer, getting a big smile when he saw someone really into it. I was up front, and apparently I looked impressed, because he pointed at me and gave me a little nod, like "This dude's with me" And he was right, I've been on the lookout ever since. So for me as a fan, having JID on the album only made sense, and brought things full circle in a way.
Okay, end anecdote, let's talk about the song. If "I Remember" is about looking back to the come-up and what it took to make it here, "I Got Money Now" is the triumphant follow-up - he's here. He went through hell and back to get a bag, but now he's gonna make sure you know he's got it. It's what he calls an "Affirmation" song - he made the song before he actually had money. It's a sort of music equivalent to speaking things into fruition. That's probably why it still feels relatively down to Earth, even though the hook has him shouting "Shut the fuck up, I got money now! (Bitch!)" It doesn't feel like an ordinary "rapper telling you how rich he is" song, because he doesn't sound like he's taking himself all that seriously. The way his personality shines through into his bars allow him to go from venting his frustration about not being able to help his mom with the bills straight into Jumanji references. His rapping feels hungry as fuck, and it helps that he's coming so hard while talking about just why he's so intent on making it - he's been broke, and he's not about to go back to that shit again.
The JID feature is honestly a tough one to pin down for me. It doesn't feel like it's on the same level of some of JID's other features, but he honestly brings a really nice verse to this one. He's got a bunch of really nice flows, some crazy internals, and he fits the vibe of the track perfectly. I honestly wouldn't change anything about it, he compliments Deante' so well. Yet, it felt to me, and to several other people I've talked to about it, like it just wasn't as good as his usual stuff, and I really think a lot of that comes down to Deante' stepping up and delivering such a good performance on the track. Most of the time, the JID feature steals the show, and when he doesn't, it's kind of like, "oh. alright." It showcases how talented Deante' really is, because not only is he one of very few to hold their own with JID during this run he's been on, but he arguably outshines him.

Attitude (feat. Young Nudy)

While the first two tracks were as good of introductions to Deante's music as you could expect, they did have a pretty similar tonality. So naturally, you follow it up with the Young Nudy-assisted "Attitude", which Deante' described as being "like a Bee smoking a Black and Mild with some Air Forces" in an interview with RESPECT. Whatever comfort zone you found yourself in after the first two tracks is gone in an instant. The beat builds into this sort of moshing chant, with layers of background vocals escalating into "Can't be scared, hoe; Can't be scared, lil n*gga". The energy is totally different, but Deante's humor and personality don't feel out of place at all. Again, his personality is just so big you can't help but feel like you know him. So even when a brawl is about to break out, there's no surprised when he's dropping one-liners about wa'alaykumu s-salam, Rubik's Cubes, or Optimus Prime.
The Young Nudy feature effectively works opposite of Deante's verse - he's not gonna try to impress you with clever bars, because he wants to make sure you know he means the shit he's saying. It's a really interesting dynamic, because Deante's humor makes Nudy's verse feel more serious, and Nudy's aggression makes Deante' seem more lighthearted than he otherwise would feel on the song. All in all, they play off of each other really well and the song serves as a great juxtaposition from the first two tracks. It gives a little more insight into who Deante' is as well - just because he's not constantly taking himself too seriously doesn't mean you should try him.

How TF (feat. 6LACK)

How Deante' managed to transition from "Attitude" straight into "How TF" without it sounding insanely out of place, I have no idea. But it works, and this song is an even bigger departure from "Attitude" than the first two songs were. First of all, the instrumental on this thing is just so damn good. It's a nice little ear-worm in its own right, but it's not overbearing to the point of being the main focus of the track. It's still a little spacey, and that lets Deante' shine through with plenty of different flows in an otherwise short verse.
The topic at hand is so fucking important. Deante' has a way of saying what so many guys are going through in ways that they don't know how to say. He makes himself feel so relatable, and you can't help but attach yourself to what he's saying. "How the fuck am I supposed to tell you that I love you and know I really fuckin mean what I said?". When you first find yourself falling in love, there's a weird thing that can happen where you almost doubt your own feelings, not even believing that you're actually feeling what you're feeling. You don't know if you're actually falling in love or if you're just lusting over some girl and are too naïve to realize it. That fear is so overwhelming that you end up just pushing away from it - "Runnin away again".
Deante' gives such an honest insight into his own life here. He doesn't really know how to describe his own feelings, but he's trying his best. He doesn't want to say anything he doesn't mean and find himself regretting it later on, but he knows his indecisiveness is pushing her away. He just can't bring himself to risk saying he loves her when he isn't sure - "I don't know...that love shit weird".
6LACK brings another great verse, but from an older point of view. He's struggling with similar themes, but for different reasons. Deante' is worried about saying something he doesn't mean, but 6LACK is worried about moving too quickly without taking some time to work on himself. If he doesn't take that time now, he's only going to hurt her. I think both of these verses showcase some of the struggles of being a young man trying to maneuver through love. For a lot of people, they didn't exactly have the best examples of love in their homes. Without having a good example, it can be hard to really figure out how to say what they want to say. Personally, this is the track I come back to the most, and it hasn't left my rotation since I heard it as a single. The beat captures you, and Deante' absolutely steals the show.

Flashbacks (feat. Miguel and St. Beauty)

While religion has always played a part in Deante's music, and had been mentioned a few times already in the project, "Flashbacks" is far and away the most direct example on Better thus far. Deante's first verse is a long-form, almost rambling reflection on his upbringing, touching on hitting new lows, his mother's faith, and the death of a friend. This is a different Deante' than we've seen up to this point on the project, because while he certainly talks about real topics and does so earnestly, this track feels a little less calculated. On "How TF" or "I Remember", it feels like he's thought about everything he's saying plenty of times before, and he's prepared to talk about it at length. But on "Flashbacks", it really does feel like he's talking his way through flashbacks in his mind, just sharing whatever happens upon his mind.
I just want to really highlight the section where Deante' talks about the church, and his thoughts on it growing up (and now?). The casual way Deante' raps, combined with the nature of the topic and the way he addresses it, make for a track that feels so incredibly vulnerable. He doesn't have the answers and it's killing him. The other sections of the verse are great too, but this part is just fantastic and I wanted to give it some shine.
I need some straightforward answers, cause I been livin backwards
Can't feel the pastor when he talkin bout upcoming rapture
Preachin' money's the root of all evil, but askin for money after
So comin up we ain't have it to give but we still gave it
The church was makin a killin off of our little savings
But you can't put a price on faith, thats how my momma phrased it
But momma if this the house of the Lord, how could we not appraise it?
I was young and confused with nothin' to lose
Better to be human than God, word to Langston Hughes
Miguel and duo St. Beauty feature on this track, and there's a part where they all harmonize and play off of each other that's just gorgeous. They nail the aesthetic of the Phillips-Taylor production. Miguel offers a bridge to the outro as well, and, well, it's Miguel. His voice is incredible and if you don't know St. Beauty, just know that Miguel doesn't outshine them for a second on this track. The aforementioned outro brings Deante' back, and it serves to bridge Deante's childhood thoughts from his earlier verse to the present. He's "Still talkin' to God", and he acknowledges that while he isn't what he was expected to be, he's still leaning on his faith and knows that it will pull through for him in the end. Maybe it already has.

Gimme Yo Money

So, I'll be upfront about this one. I don't like this song. I appreciate what it's meant to do. The last two songs were serious and, spoilers, so is most of the rest of this project. I'm sure if I was at his show in Atlanta and this song came on I'd have a fucking great time with it. I just don't like it on the album, and to me it's the only miss on the project.
Yung Baby Tate is all over this song, and it feels like it's more of her song than Deante's. It's a fun track, and it made me more interested in checking out her individual work because if I was in the mood for that style of music, I'd be all over this track and I think she's dope. It just doesn't work with the rest of the project. The beat is actually really cool again, and Deante's rapping is on point once again. Unfortunately it just doesn't really work like it could have, or like he probably envisioned it.

Circles

This is the track that's grown on me the most, and I think it might be favorite on the project. But my favorite track changes a lot, and that's a testament to the quality of work. But anyways. At first, the looping vocal that comes in at the beginning and for the hook, the chanting "Round and Round we go" that's way pitched up - I hated it. It's grating, and I felt like the song deserved a better hook than this. I'm still not the biggest fan of it, but I think it adds to the concept of the topic. We'll come back to that.
This song is another relationship one, and while it's another impressively honest insight into Deante's personal life, his pen is what shines. This track has so many flows packed into two verses, and they're all just so goddamn good. Especially on the bridge before the second chorus, it's such a quick section but it'll play on loop in my head. I'm stuck on this part trying to figure out how to describe how much I love this flow in particular. The beat strips back for this section too, and he parallels how he feels with what she's going through. And it's just really good, I'm sorry that I'm not good enough at writing to really word it better than that.
The theme of the song is how their relationship keeps going in "Circles", where a little fight turns into a big one. Eventually they always make up, but they both know it's only a matter of time until they end up right back where they were, fighting over the same old shit. It circles back to "How TF" as well, because she just doesn't feel loved like she needs to. That feeds into her not trusting him, and that's what Deante' feels like he needs out of the relationship to love her like she wants. It's a circle. The abrasive, pitched-up vocal loop sounds like them fighting, and if you listen closely, it can be heard in the background of the bridge and other sections, albeit much quieter. Those problems are there in the background even when things are good. So even when Deante' is flowing effortlessly over this smooth-ass beat, and it sounds so good, that vocal loop is looming. That's the contrast in the relationship, even when things are going great and it seems perfect, those impending fights still loom, and they both know those problems are still there.

Shadowman's Interlude

This interlude is broken up into two parts, the first being a short, reflective verse from Deante' that toes the line being purposeful and aimless. He's offering you an insight into his brain and everything he's been going through in the process leading up to releasing this album. He's cutting off friends, turning away hoes, battling the bottle and dealing with social injustice. There's so much going on that's bigger than he is, and as an artist it's easy to feel like you have to talk about those things. But he has too much of his own shit to deal with to not give his own life and problems his full attention. But throughout, he's still being funny and dropping references that seem like they're trying to lighten the tone. It's such an interesting juxtaposition, because he wouldn't be talking about these things if they weren't important to him - but that doesn't mean it has to be 100% serious, 100% of the time. So in the same verse, he can say "Bad bitch gon' let me hit, no Ken Griffey" and "ironic when the bottle's empty is when I pour out my pain".
The second half is a story told by one of Deante's friends. It's a short story about him and his friends seeing a truck on the side of the road. There's a box on the end, and it falls off and then mysteriously slides under the car. They pull over and break it open, and find human toes inside. As the story comes to a climax, you can hear Deante' and his friends react to the story in the background -
"Like walking toes? What the fuck?"
"My Aunt Dukes is like, 'let's call the police'
I was like, 'Fuck that shit, let's call a toe truck"
Of course it was just a set-up for a punchline. It's a Deante' track.

Growing Up/Mother God

This track is basically a song and a half, because "Growing Up" is a completely developed track, with two verses, a hook, and an outro. You can probably guess what "Growing Up" is supposed to be about. The first verse is a little more broad, reflecting more on what it's like to grow up as a young black kid in America, and what it's like to see everything going on in the news everyday. He transitions into a more personal verse afterwards, and it becomes less about growing up in society and more about growing up as a person. He goes on a personal, but somewhat odd tangent about having a direct conversation with God. Ultimately, it's him re-affirming what he already knows - be yourself unapologetically, because you can't be anything else.
Brandon Phillips-Taylor is behind the boards on this one as well (shocking, I know), and it's just another really cool beat that continues to play into his strengths as a producer. He layers in additional vocals for the hook and he peels away parts of the beat within the first two verses. The fact that he's been doing that for so much of the record makes it where you don't even notice that stuff as much anymore, so you don't realize that the second half of the song has already started. Any other record, it would be way more drastic for the beat to cut away in the middle of the third run of the hook only to be replaced with a piano and Alexe Belle (half of St. Beauty) singing added layers onto the hook. But you almost don't comprehend it's not just him toying with the beat only to bring it back like he does elsewhere, and it's a beautiful transition. There's some spoken-word from Deante's girlfriend, and it takes us right into "Mother God".
Somebody ask me why I think God is a woman
And I said, "Your momma cookin must not be as good as mine
Your lil sister must not warm you spirit when you see her crack a smile
Deante' offers up an ode to all the women in his life, namely his mother, sister, and girlfriend (although he name drops a ton of other people that had an impact on him). It's a really sweet, heartfelt verse, and it's one of my favorites on the whole record. I could never summarize this verse down in my own words, because it's so personal to him and every line is so important to him, and to somebody in his life. It feels like it would be disrespectful to be like, "Yeah, this one that he said is more important than the others". But anyways, 10/10 verse.

Angels

Deante' likes splitting his songs into two parts. Why would he stop now. The first half of the track feels like what you might expect for an outro to a rap album. He's confident, he's rapping his ass off, he's unapologetic as fuck. Naturally, he's sprinkling in real lines and wisdom throughout, almost as if he can't help himself. Once again, Phillips-Taylor really shines. He builds the beat up along with Deante's verse, and the background "ayy-ayy-ayy, ayy-ayy-ayy, ayy-ayy-ayy!" of the hook bring things to a climax as well. While obviously not the same style of song AT ALL, the way the beat builds throughout the first verse while Deante's rapping gets faster and more erratic is reminiscent of Saba's brilliant "PROM/KING". That's been one of my biggest takeaways from sitting down to write this; Brandon Phillips-Taylor does a really great job throughout this album and is an unsung hero among fans of the album, because I don't see him get nearly enough praise when this project is discussed.
On the deluxe tracklist, the album actually ends after the main part of Angels, but on the original version, "My Bitch" is added onto the end of Angels as a part of the same song. Deante' comes in acting like he's gonna be on some weird-flex bragging shit to end his debut album, before turning it on its head.
My bitch!
Head so good, gotta wipe my ass when she finished
My wrist!
So bright light, probably make a n*gga mad when they hit it
I was just cappin, now that I got your attention, listen
He instead chooses to just fucking spit, and it serves as his "I'm coming for the throne" moment. I can rap with anybody, and as a matter of fact, I'll outrap anybody. While the "Angels" part of the track might feel like more of a traditional album closer, ending it with "My Bitch" shows that Deante' isn't going to settle for doing what everybody traditionally does. It's a statement of intent, and it's an exclamation mark on one of the most impressive debut albums I've heard in a very long time.

FAVORITE LYRICS

I Remember
I Got Money Now
Attitude
How TF
Flashbacks
Gimme Yo Money
Circles
Shadowman's Interlude
Growing Up/ Mother God
Angels

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

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Day 1

33, Have a great job and make good money but my problem has been crushing me over the years.
Total lifetime down about 100k. That’s so sick typing it out. So many relationships hurt and missed out on because of this. A few hours ago I lost 3k in my account. So tired of runs being up or down up to 10k+ in a few hours. Then if I lose i just live off of $100 a month when I make a great salary and there is no excuse for struggling like this. I stopped feeling really bad about losses a while ago, and I behave like the guy in owning Mahoney. I used to be so motivated with money and so conservative but I have this drive to have money on the line of something. I consider myself fairly intelligent, but I continue to play online blackjack and bet stupid sports bet like runs in an inning, or other stupid things. It’s time that I’ve totally given it up. I’ve proven to myself over th years that I can’t gamble responsibly.
This year, I gambled away my 40k relocation package, 20k bonus, and at least 25k of salary. I should be living like a king, not in debt and miserly. No humble brags or anything, just need to type out how much Ive actually lost for it to settle in. I never though I could be this bad. I deposit and play until it’s all gone. I grew up poor and worked hard to be where I am, so it doesn’t make sense for me to throw everything away. If I don’t stop now it will continue to control my life.
One day at a time. About 13k in credit card debt. Going to type out updates here each day because I saw another user do it and it seemed like a great idea. This way I will be accountable.
One day at a time.
Edit: thanks for all of your support, it really means a lot. I have been working out a ton, but I definitely need more hobbies. I am also thinking about getting a dog. Once I get a few weeks under my belt I’m doing it.
Also, when I made the owning Mahoney reference, I was referring to how stoic he was while losing large sums of money. I have never done anything nefarious due to my problems. I just live like a miser and own my mistakes when it happens.
Day 2: feeling great and fighting. Appreciating all of your words. We got this, folks!
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I am 32 years old, make $54,000 (joint 159k), live in Maryland (DC metro) and work as an Enrollment Manager/work-at-home mom to 3.

Like so many others, I wrote a NOVEL and I’m sorry!! I love reading this community’s MDs and am so thankful for this supportive sub and for the opportunity to share.
Section 1: Assets and Debt
My husband and I share all finances except for our retirement and savings accounts (we each have savings accts in our own names but realistically we share the funds within them). We have separate credit cards as well.
Section 2: Income
- My first jobs were babysitting and working as a camp counselor in my teens. Throughout my late teens and early 20s I mostly worked as a bartender and/or barista, as well as tutoring (I lived in France for a little bit in high school so tutoring rich kids in French was always a moneymaker), dance teacher for budding ballerinas, and a bit of writing/editing. I graduated college over the course of 4 years but took a circuitous route (didn’t love college tbh), including taking two semesters off to travel and taking a full year leave of absence to live and work in Santa Fe when I was 20. When I wasn’t enrolled in college I was responsible for my all of my expenses. When I was enrolled in college my parents paid for housing and tuition as much as they could, and I covered my personal expenses.
- After graduating I continued to bartend for about a year and then I got a job as an advisor in higher ed, because it was one of the few industries hiring during the recession. I made 40k but with no benefits besides PTO. After 2 years, I moved to university where I currently work with the same salary but far better benefits including healthcare, retirement, paid family leave and tuition remission.
- My job hasn’t changed much in the last 8 years -- salary increases were mostly inflation adjustments masked as bonuses -- but it’s ideal for me right now. I enjoy the people I work with and have a lot of flexibility (outside of meetings I mostly work when and how I want) with great benefits that allow me to contribute to retirement and stay in the workforce as a young mom. When my daughter was born 8 years ago, I went part time and then PT with 90% telework when my son was born 5 years ago. I went back to full time while teleworking 2 years ago. So I was doing the work-from-home-parent thing for a while before COVID, but uh at least with some childcare.
- I met my husband in my early 20s and we knew within a few months (excuse the mush) we were it for each other. He’s 8 years older and we were both in a place where we wanted to start a family, so I had kids about 7-10 younger than most of my social group. This could be pretty isolating at times, but overall I don’t regret it and recognize that I'm fortunate to be able to make the choices I have. We’re putting the baby (8 months old) in full time daycare next fall and I plan to begin to start my career in earnest then (I’m very interested in the intersection of education policy and law especially w/t the equity gap). My friends lovingly refer to my approach as the Nancy Pelosi method – I’ll take it.
Mine- $2,760 (paid biweekly after taxes, healthcare, 403b, savings transfer)
Spouse - $5900 (paid 2x/month after taxes, 401k and savings transfer)
Total HH - $8660 ($9260 incl. savings contributions)
Section 3: Expenses
Section 4 – The rundown
Total: $899.81
Day 1, Wednesday:
8am -- The baby cooing wakes me up after a rough night of sleep. I nurse him a little and then hand him off to his almost-8-years-old sister (J.) who happily takes him to her room to cuddle and play before virtual school starts up at 9.
My husband wakes up around 7:00 to clean up the kitchen and basically take care of everything house or kid related before heading to work around 8:30, but I get breakfast for everyone and make sure the kids are (mostly) dressed. My five year old son (C.) settles on “bee cereal” i.e. Honey Nut Cheerios, and that’s good enough for the group, except for the baby who gets sweet potato puffs and a blueberry-banana breakfast bar. The big kids play video games for about 10 minutes before school starts at 9am.
C. should be in Kindergarten, but he was having meltdown after meltdown trying to stay logged into virtual school for 5-6 hours a day, so he watches the recorded zoom meetings on his own time and spends most of the day playing outside or watching tv. We try to do one academic-ish thing a day outside of listening to the zoom lessons (playing alphabet games, practicing writing, making an art project, or finding patterns). Schools in our area have been closed for in-person learning continuously since March. This morning C. turns on the Netflix du Jour, a riveting show called “Trash Truck” about - you guessed it - a trash truck, and I sit down to catch up on work e-mails while the baby crawls around investigating the bucket of toys I overturned for him. Or maybe those are the dog’s toys? Whatever, he’s entertained.
10:30am -- I finish up my work emails in between letting the dog out (and back in) and tending to the baby a bit, and then make a payment on two of our credit cards to cover spending in the last week. We use reward credit cards for everyday spending, so I make payments a couple of times a week to make sure we don’t carry a balance. I also reconcile YNAB.
$0, but a lot of money management (I didn’t include the credit card payments because I count that spending when we actually… spend it…)
11am -- Baby is down for his morning nap, C. is climbing trees outside, and J. is finishing up her homework at the end of the school day (Wednesdays are half days). I turn on Price is Right and throw a load of laundry in, straighten up a little, and then make lunch. Usually my husband makes the kids’ lunches in the morning, but C. complained of too much redundancy yesterday, so today I offered to make them a hot lunch: dino nuggets, Annie’s mac and cheese, and ants on a log. My plan is to make myself an everything bagel breakfast sandwich with prosciutto, cheese, fried egg and a side salad and sit down to work before the baby wakes up. Sounds great, right? Well just as I’m finishing the big kids lunch, our meat CSA is delivered so our dog goes bonkers and wakes the baby up. I try to nurse the baby back to sleep while responding to a work email on my phone but the big kids each interrupt twice, so he’s up for good. I haphazardly slap some cream cheese on my sad bagel and throw some olive oil and Parmesan on some greens and try to scarf down something while managing chaos.
1pm - I give the baby lunch (puréed carrots and shredded provolone cheese). After clean up he wants to nurse for about 10 minutes. A full belly did the trick and he’s down for his nap again.
3pm - We make some slime with a kit our neighbor gave us. My daughter complains it’s too slimy
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We then sit down to plan her birthday party for next weekend, which will be a virtual tea party. I buy a $5 digital invitation template on Etsy to send out to family and friends and try to make it a little more fun since we can’t do a normal birthday party for her this year. When I check out, I still have in my Etsy cart a wooden train set I was planning on buying for my new baby niece for Christmas. I buy that too. Total - $54.95
4pm - I heat up some tomato soup as a snack for the big kids and nurse the baby. We head out to run some errands — I have to drop off a birthday card in the mail and it’s the veggie csa pick up day at the farm (curbside so no contact). I swing though McDonald’s and get two ice cream cones for the big kids and a coffee for me as a treat since the farm is about an hour round trip. The baby takes a nap during the drive. Total - $4.64
5:30pm - Home again and I switch the laundry, straighten up, nurse the baby and check in on work.
6:30pm - I throw some personal pizzas into the toaster oven and serve them with carrot sticks and dressing for dinner for the big kids. They watch a show about a flamingo that delivers baby animals to animal parents.
7:30pm - I nurse the baby (he loves his milk and his mama) and then head downstairs to straighten up and ask the big kids to clear their plates. My daughter does; my son plays video games. We spar; I’m tired. My husband is trying to work on leaving for work earlier in the day so he can get home earlier because honestly after 6pm I’m spent, and my patience reserve feels especially low today. My husband finally arrives a little before 8 and immediately takes over baby duty and feeds him dinner (green beans and sweet corn) while entertaining the big kids. I heat up some leftovers and scarf them down while chatting with my friends on WhatsApp.
8:30pm - bedtime routine for all kids start. I spar with C. again over brushing his teeth. It escalates and I get pretty angry. C. is smart and spirited and strong willed and this pandemic has been so hard on him. It’s been hard on me. We sometimes take it out on each other. I put J. and the baby to sleep and then sneak into C.‘s room while my husband is reading to him to give C. a hug and apologize to him for my temper.
9:30pm - I have a beer and some hummus and pita chips while finishing up some work. My husband eats some leftovers and we watch an old season of The Amazing Race, and then go to bed around midnight after I dream feed the baby.
Daily Total: $59.59
****
Day 2, Thursday:
8:30am - I wake up to our 45lb shepherd mix lying on top of me for a snuggle and quickly get out of bed and for some reason get dressed in real clothes. Jeans even. Amazing. My husband has just left for work, so I take the baby and get him dressed. In the living room, C. has already poured cereal and milk for him and his sister, but is also totally naked. I bring him some clothes. I give the baby some plain Cheerios, help J. log into school, and cuddle a little bit with C. while he watches a Disney Nature show before getting up to make some toast and eggs for myself. I’m planning on trying to get some work done but end up making hand turkeys with the kids instead.
11am - I nurse the baby and put him down for a nap. I get the big kids a snack (chips and hummus), do the breakfast dishes, and give J. some encouragement in virtual learning. Then I refill my coffee and finally sit down to work.
11:30am - Baby’s awake. So I guess half hour naps is a thing now.
12:00pm- I’m on lunch duty again so I make some cheese quesadillas with apple slices and grapes while trying to finish a report I need to send out before my 1pm meeting. I reheat my coffee for lunch and send the kids outside to play while I nurse the baby and text with my sister after the report is out.
1pm - I give the baby a bit of butternut squash for lunch and log in for my meeting with him in tow because he doesn’t seem sleepy yet. I have two meetings and a parent/teacher conference today so I asked (/demanded) my husband work from home this afternoon and he’s on his way now. My employer is much more flexible and accommodating than his — babies on zoom don’t phase them— but it’s almost worse this way because it means less boundaries and more stress/shuffling for me. He is pretty isolated at work (masked with his own office, no in person group meetings), so it’s kind of ridiculous he has to go to the office at all, but he doesn’t have much of a choice.
2pm - my husband got home a half hour ago and my first meeting is done, so I nurse the baby to sleep for his nap. I grab a cliff bar and my husband and I log in to a zoom parent teacher conference with C.’s Kindergarten teacher. He hasn’t attended virtual school live in 6 weeks, but she’s not worried about it and neither are we. I straighten up a little bit and then am back in the office for my 3pm meeting.
4pm - The big kids are having a tea party and request tea snacks so I make them s’mores and peppermint tea and then stress eat a s’more (or maybe two) myself because skipping lunch is a terrible idea when you’re constantly breastfeeding a giant baby. I send out J.’s virtual tea party invites and finish up work e-mail and then straighten up a little bit.
6:30pm - My husband stops working and says he’ll make dinner and watch the kids so I can take a much needed shower and relax a little. He starts on the ingredients for an epic taco bar dinner with roasted corn, and I throw together a spinach salad before getting in the shower. I take a long shower and savor the silence. When I emerge I can hear the baby screaming, but (mercifully) my husband is never phased by crying children so I take my time getting into PJs and submit my answers for a daily trivia league I play in.
9:00pm - Kids are all in bed. I clean up the house, which is a disaster zone, because I hate clutter. My husband and I then eat our tacos and salad, and I make myself a hot chocolate. I tell myself I’m going to get some work done but instead I spend two hours updating my fantasy football teams and texting with my sister.
11:30pm - we watch the end of an episode of David Letterman's Netflix show and then the daily show. I fall asleep on the couch and then migrate to bed.
Daily Total: $0
*****
Day 3, Friday:
8amish - I’m slow to get out of bed. The baby and C. are both cranky and my husband (who works at home on Fridays) and I play chicken to see who’s going to get up first to do stuff. Eventually he’s up to change the baby and then clean up the kitchen and make ice and coffee. I pull on some sweatpants and a tshirt and get breakfast for the big kids. They want a bagel and cream cheese (daughter) and a bagel with peanut butter (son), so I oblige because friyay. My daughter logs into school, and is sad I made the wrong kind of bagel for her (everything instead of cinnamon raisin, the horror). I pop the right bagel in the toaster and eat her everything bagel instead. The baby eats a few blueberry bars and shares what he can with the dog.
11am - Baby down for his nap. I got paid last night so I budget that money in YNAB and work.
1pm - Baby awake. I make dino nuggets and carrots for kids’ lunch and I’m starving but don’t have the energy to make anything, so I just start eating prosciutto and goldfish by the fistful. #momlunch (FYI you can buy like 1lb of prosciutto at Costco for $8).
3pm - There is a mega kids consignment sale that happens in our metro area at a few locations several times a year. I frequently consign old kids clothes and toys at these and also buy a lot of the kids’ stuff here too (the steals on really nice quality things is amazing… plus seeing one of these sales reinforces the insane amount of things already in the world. We don’t need to make/buy more.). With COVID they started an online model for their sales which includes curbside drop off for sold items and pick up for bought items. I have to drop off my sold items this afternoon. Due to time and stress I wasn’t able to consign as much, so it’s only about 18 items. I make $52.00 (70% of the total price, sale organizers keep 30%). I pick up a latte from the neighborhood coffee shop on the way and jam out to Betty Who in the minivan. ($5.64 + tip = $7.64)
5pm - Pandemonium when I get back. C. had a couple of rage fits, the baby was asleep but had been crying most of the time (I never set out to be an attachment parent but being born at the start of a pandemic kind of forced it on us, and the baby is really, really attached to me.) My husband looks exhausted from juggling all the kids and wrapping up a few projects from work. We know it’ll be a take out night for us. Take-out is our biggest weakness. I don’t mind cooking but I also don’t love it, so it’s something that I easily pass on if I can. I’m trying to shift to cooking dinner midday when I have more time and energy, and I do meal plan (though it’s more like meal opportunities… I grocery shop and stock the kitchen for scheduled meals at the start of every month but I often hop around the schedule). But take out is one of our few indulgences, and it calls to us far too frequently. It doesn’t help that we live in an area with phenomenal food choices.
7pm - After straightening up and getting the big kids an easy dinner (my daughter actually wanted spaghetti and not take out), I run out to pick up steak fajitas and sopapillas for my husband and me; I order online and do curbside pick up. $49.65. I also run into a beer and wine store to get a 12-pack variety IPA for my husband and a 12-pack of Guinness for me. $45.76
Total: $95.41
9pm- Home, bedtime for kids, clean up as much as I can. While my husband tucks my son in I lay out our Mexican food feast in the family room. He logs into a virtual call with a bunch of his college friends and we eat and catch up with them as we relax. My husband has opted for straight vodka instead of a beer tonight (thanks, pandemic parenting), and I savor a nice cold Guinness. The call ends around 11pm and we watch an episode or two of the Amazing Race, clean up dinner, and then slink to bed around 1am.
Daily Total: $103.05
****
Day 4 - Saturday
8am - Baby awake. The big kids take him into their rooms to play. I get up thirty minutes later when I hear the big kids banish the baby to the hallway, because he started annoying them. Poor baby. He’s smelly because he pooped overnight and the poop is now encrusted on his legs under his PJs, so it’s bath time now. Kids are fun.
10am - I’m starving and the baby is cranky from teething so I have chips and queso for breakfast because it’s 2020 and idgaf. I make my daughter a bagel and cream cheese and give my son cheerios before making a mental note to order a grocery delivery for tomorrow because we’re out of milk. My husband pours me a coffee and we relax a little bit as I nurse the baby. I catch up with my sister via text.
12pm - Baby is asleep and the big kids and my husband are playing video games, so I sit down to do all the things - Work! Bills! Grocery delivery! -- first I make myself a couple fajitas from last night’s leftovers.
I reconcile YNAB transactions and then pay a $25 co-pay bill from a doctor’s tele-visit last month. I’ve had mild to moderate anxiety most of my adult life, and it’s gotten particularly bad in the last few months (um obviously), so my doctor prescribed me low dose Zoloft and it’s been wonderful. Social media likes to tell parents (read: moms) about all the things they should do to raise children (“stop using negative language!” “be supportive of big feelings!”) … but I’m a working mother with three kids in a pandemic, and you know what helps me be a better parent? Medication. Because maybe the pressures of modern American parenthood are unrealistic, and we just need more help. (Descends from soapbox…)
Baby awake before I complete the grocery order.
3pm - I’ve been nursing the baby and doing housework (there are 7 loads of laundry so help me god) before I finally get a chance to finish the grocery order while the kids are outside playing with my husband. I order milk, sprite zero, broccoli, blueberries, queso, cereal, oatmeal, tea (to send out to the virtual party guests), and chai concentrate. Plus a $3 delivery fee = $51.17 We usually do a large Costco trip once a month for staples (about $400), and then I make 2-3 grocery deliveries throughout the month like this to re-stock.
6pm - Somehow the big kids got turned onto this game where they call me The Queen and my husband The King and they’re the maids who have to do whatever we say. I assume it’s divine intervention that they came up with this so I never tempt fate. While they play (slash clean up the house) the King makes dinner - shrimp scampi and a big broccoli, arugula and lentil salad - while I read the paper. I eat a big portion of the salad topped with just a few shrimp because I need the greens like whoa.
9pm - Bedtime routines and the rest of the night is a bit of a blur to be honest. We watched the Great British Baking Show and had a couple beers and cuddled probably. Not sure when we went to bed.
Daily Total - $76.17
****
Day 5 - Sunday
2am - While “awake” nursing the baby I suddenly snap up and remember that the Best Buy and Game Stop Black Friday sales started at midnight. The kids currently play a retro Super Nintendo complete with games from the mid 90s (what can I say, they’re awed by my donkey Kong skills), and we finally figured they were old enough now it’s probably time to bring them into the 21st century. I snag a Nintendo Switch bundle with Mario Kart for $299 from Best Buy after waiting a few minutes (they released stock in waves to prevent an immediate sellout), which we’ll give them for Christmas. Total with tax - $317
9am - up for real now and we’re late. We hurry out the door with a pitstop at Starbucks for coffee, peppermint hot chocolates, pumpkin bread, and bagels ($32). We’re headed up to do a curbside pickup of the stuff I bought from the consignment sale. For Christmas, we try to keep the kids gifts to one big gift (often to share, like the Nintendo Switch), one medium gift, and two small gifts per kid. I managed to finish all the kids Christmas shopping in one fell swoop at the online consignment sale (including gifts for my nephew and two nieces). We also got a bike trailer for kids for about $50 that retails new at REI for $400, plus a lot of clothes. All in I spent $196, and Christmas shopping is mostly done.
11am - after picking up the consignment sale goods, we head to a drive thru covid testing site. I was around a larger group of people (20 or so) for a memorial last week, and I’ve been isolating to household as much as possible since then. I had a negative covid test last Monday, but both my husband and I are getting tested again today. The testing line is looooong in advance of Thanksgiving, and it takes us just under 2 hours to get through. Yikes. The kids are screaming for lunch so we zoom home and I make a quick grilled cheese and serve it with bunches of grapes.
2pm - my brother, sister and I are chatting about a vacation at the lake (about 2 hours away) we had booked for all of us and my parents over New Years. It’s looking increasingly like that would be an irresponsible trip to take given the current covid climate, so we decide to move it to the end of April. My sister and her family live in Canada and we’re going to have to miss it anyway, so at least this way they have a chance at joining us. My brother will call the rental company and move the dates and pay the new deposit ($300). We lose the old deposit, but my card’s travel insurance should reimburse us. I make a mental note to call their claim center this week.
4pm - We log onto zoom for a Friendsgiving get together with friends - there’s about 20 participants, many with young children - and it’s a little crazy. By the time we log off it’s too dark to take the bike ride my son was hoping for, and he has a meltdown.
6pm – I take a shower and then start a K-pop dance party in the kitchen to try to brighten up C. who is still angry about not being able to bike. He eventually succumbs to the BTS beat. Once upon a time I was that music snob that would only go to concerts in tiny venues with obscurely known indie bands, and now I’m moonwalking to Dynamite. Life comes at you fast, friends.
7pm - We decide on takeout again because we definitely fall into a “it’s the weekend, treat yo self” trap and decide to order Thai for lots of leftovers as a way of lessening our guilt over ordering. Our local Thai restaurant will deliver to us. We get curry puffs, yum watercress, pad Thai with shrimp, pad see ew with chicken, and massaman curry. ($74 with tip and tax)
9pm - Kids are all in bed. I do about an hour of work and then tell myself I’m going to fold laundry or do something else productive, but we’re exhausted so we just watch an episode of the Queen’s Gambit and then go to bed around 11:30.
Daily Total - $619 ouch
*****
Day 6 – Monday
8:30am - I’m going to get up early and get some work done today, I told myself last night. Spoiler: I did not do that. I emerge from bed and find my family in the kitchen — my husband finishing up chores and all the kids eating oatmeal with blueberries. I get my daughter set up with school as my husband departs. She’s out of underwear, so it looks like that seven loads of undone laundry is starting to be an issue.
10:30am - baby down for nap. I feel very unproductive. I put a load of laundry in and sit down to work but instead somehow end up browsing political memes on Instagram instead.
12pm - by the time the baby wakes up I have gotten a little more work done. I nurse the baby and then play a few rounds of Crazy 8s with my son. I text my husband the info for our zoom parent/teacher conference with my daughter’s teacher so he can login from work. Conference is at 12:50. I heat up leftovers to eat for lunch and get the kids lunches out (husband made them this morning). I give the baby some apple sauce and rice for lunch.
3pm - Baby is down for another nap. I make myself a chai latte and switch the laundry before sitting down to do more work. It’s half days for my daughter this week because of Thanksgiving, and she and her brother are actually getting along well, so they spend a lot of the afternoon playing outside together. I take a 20 minute break to prep dinner, which is Ina Garten’s Turkey Hash, so it should only take about 20 minutes to throw together at dinner time. I get a good chunk of work done, possibly motivated by the announcement that we get Wednesday off. My husband texts to say his boss gave the green light to go back to full time telework after thanksgiving due to the surging covid numbers. Micro good news, macro bad news.
6pm - I do some more laundry and ”pretend” to sleep in a fort J. and C. built before getting dinner together. I make a few eggs to throw on top of the Turkey hash and toss together a big salad as well. We all eat dinner when my husband gets home a little after 7. Baby has bananas and strawberries for dinner.
8:30pm - Bedtime for all kids. I do a little work and we watch our old standby, the amazing race, while I have a Sprite Zero and a s’more for dessert. The baby isn’t sleeping well tonight so I spend a good chunk of time trying to get him to settle before heading to bed around midnight.
Daily Total - $0
******
Day 7 – Tuesday
8:45am - I’m up! I’m up. I help the kids all get dressed and change the baby. I make a few eggs for myself, a bagel and cream cheese for J., and oatmeal for C. The baby has cheerios and a few slices of banana. I do some housework and try to motivate myself to get some work done.
10am - The baby broke my glasses when playing with them -- probably should have seen (ha) that coming. I hop on Zenni and they have a Black Friday sale (oh no) for 20% off $30 or more. I get two pairs of glasses for me, plus a pair of prescription aviator sunglasses for my husband to put in his stocking. Total with $5 shipping - $48
12pm - Baby is napping and I’m trying to get some work done. The big kids eat their packed lunches and I see my husband has also made a sandwich for me, so I scarf that down over reports. I’m really sluggish again today. I make a chai but it feels like I can’t concentrate. The dog and I usually go for runs 2-3 times a week on a local trail, but since semi-isolating I’ve stayed in and I think it’s starting to really affect my overall state. It probably doesn’t help that I often catch the pup looking longingly at her running harness and then back at me, disappointment evident in her eyes.
1pm - I set up Zoom Thanksgiving for my family. It’ll just be us with my mother and father in law, who live 20 minutes away, for Thanksgiving in person. I spend 40 minutes making a Jeopardy game to play online for my family and then immediately text everyone about how excited I am to play it. I continue to do no legitimate work.
2pm - The baby wakes up the very minute a team meeting is supposed to start. I grab him, turn my video off (no Toobin slips here thanks) and nurse him for the first half of the meeting that goes for about an hour. Afterwards I officially say sayonara to work until next week. During my meeting the big kids have gotten into an argument over video games and it gets uglier than it should. When people ask how it’s going with the kids in quarantine, I relay it this way: imagine you’re a kid again and your sibling(s) are your only playmate or social contact for 8+ months. Even if you get along with them, that’s batshit insane. Sometimes I’m shocked they haven’t done more damage to each other. I’m feeling particularly kumbaya-like and crunchy today so after I calm them down I make us all tell each other two things we love about each other. They tell the baby the two things they love about him are his sweet personality and his fat thighs; better him than me.
4pm - My daughter got a baking cookbook and utensils from my brother and sister in law as an early birthday present in the mail today, and she’s been hankering to make brownies all day. We make a pan and afterwards we veg out and watch tv together for a bit while playing with snapchat filters until my husband gets home.
6pm - I throw together a mongolian beef-esque marinade and toss that with some sirloin cuts in the instant pot, steam some rice, and roast broccoli and green beans for dinner. It’s pretty good but the marinade is a little too sweet for me --- my son eats all the vegetables and none of the beef and rice. He truly is an enigma.
7pm - My husband and the kids go outside to play some catch (in the dark, whatevs), and I work like a tasmanian devil cleaning up the house. When unencumbered by children I think I could set records for how quickly I clean up. I finish by changing out sheets on all the beds, and then take a shower.
8:30pm - Bedtime for the kids; they’re down by 9.
9:30pm - I indulge in one of my favorite teas - African Nectar by mighty leaf; I’ve loved mighty leaf since I worked at a coffee shop that carried their collection, but I try not to drink them too often since I find it’s pricier than your everyday tea. We watch the rest of the Queen’s Gambit. I fall asleep on the couch around 11:30, I’m told, and zombie walk to bed around midnight. I fall asleep reveling in the wonderfulness of the sensation of fresh sheets on shaven legs.
Daily Total: $48
Total Spent: $899.81
**********
Section 5: Reflection
This was a bit of an atypical week for me, because I bought a lot of Christmas presents, which mostly come from our piggybank fund. Gifts and food are for sure my weakness; if I could eat take out all day while shopping for other people I’d be good for life, and I think that was reflected this week a little bit. I was definitely more conscious of my gift spending this week since I had to record it all though. Throughout this year I’ve struggled to find the right balance between giving myself a little grace on spending because oh em gee does my day-to-day feel stressful sometimes, while also being mindful of overspending. Recording everything this week definitely hit home for me that sort of guilt trap I fall into with money (but also how I feel guilty about pretty much everything).
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