The Resurrection of the Flesh [Tr by Roses]

These first two tales published in Secret Weavers: Stories of the Fantastic by Women Writers of Argentina and Chile, edited by Marjorie Agosin (White Pine Press, 1992):

She was thirty-two, her name was Aurelia, and she had been married eleven years. One Saturday afternoon, she looked through the kitchen window at the garden and saw the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. Men of the world, those four horsemen of the Apocalypse. And good-looking. The first from the left was riding a sorrel horse with a dark mane. He was wearing white breeches, black boots, a crimson jacket, and a yellow fez with black pompoms. The second one had a sleeveless tunic overlaid with gold and violet and was barefoot. He was riding on the back of a plump dolphin. The third one had a respectable, black beard, trimmed at right angles. He had donned a gray Prince of Wales suit, white shirt, blue tie and carried a black leather portfolio. He was seated on a folding chair belted to the back of white-haired dromedary. The fourth one made Aurelia smile and realize that they were smiling at her. He was riding a black and gold Harley-Davidson 1200 and was wearing a white helmet and dark goggles and had long, straight, blond hair flying in the wind behind him. The four were riding in the garden without moving from the spot. They rode and smiled at her and she watched them through the kitchen window.
In that manner, she finished washing the two teacups, took off her apron, arranged her hair and went to the living room.
"I saw the four horsemen of the Apocalypse in the garden," she told her husband.
"I'll bet," he said without raising his eyes from his paper.
"What are you reading?" Aurelia asked.
"Hmmm?"
"I said they were given a crown and a sword and a balance and power."
"Oh, right," said her husband.
And after that a week went by as all weeks do--very slowly at first and very quickly toward the end--and on Sunday morning, while she made the coffee, she again saw the four horsemen of the Apocalypse in the garden, but when she went back to the bedroom she didn't say anything to her husband.
The third time she saw them, one Wednesday, alone, in the afternoon, she stood looking at them for a half hour and finally, since she had always wanted to fly in a yellow and red dirigible; and since she had dreamed about being an opera singer, an emperor's lover, a co-pilot to Icarus; since she would have liked to scale black cliffs, laugh at cannibals, traverse the jungles on elephants with purple trappings, seize with her hands the diamonds that lay hidden in mines, preside in the nude over a parade of nocturnal monsters, live under water, domesticate spiders, torture the powerful of the earth, rob trains in the tunnels of the Alps, set palaces on fire, lie in the dark with beggars, climb on the bridges of all the ships in the world; finally--since it was sadly sterile to be a rational and healthy adult--finally, that Wednesday afternoon alone, she put on the long dress she had worn at the last New Year's party given by the company where her husband was assistant sales manager and went out to the garden. The four horsemen of the Apocalypse called her, the blond one on the Harley-Davidson gave her his hand and helped her up onto the seat behind him, and there they went, all five, raging into the storm and singing.
Two days later her husband gave in to family pressure and reported the disappearance of his wife.
"Moral: madness is a flower aflame," said the narrator. Or in other words, it's impossible to inflame the dead, cold, viscous, useless, and sinful ashes of common sense.

The Perfect Married Woman

If you meet her on the street, cross quickly to the other side and quicken your pace. She’s a dangerous lady. She’s about forty or forty-five, has one married daughter and a son working in San Nicolas; her husband’s a sheet-metal worker. She rises very early, sweeps the sidewalk, sees her husband off, cleans, does the wash, shops, cooks. After lunch she watches television, sews or knits, irons twice a week, and at night goes to bed late. On Saturdays she does a general cleaning and washes windows and waxes the floors. On Sunday mornings she washes the clothes her son brings home—his name is Nestor Eduardo—she kneads dough for noodles or ravioli, and in the afternoon either her sister-inlaw comes to visit or she goes to her daughter’s house. It’s been a long time since she’s been to the movies, but she reads TV Guide and the police report in the newspaper. Her eyes are dark and her hands are rough and her hair is starting to go gray. She catches cold frequently and keeps a photo album in a dresser drawer along with a black crepe dress with lace collar and cuffs.
Her mother never hit her. But when she was six, she got a spanking for coloring on a door, and she had to wash it off with a wet rag. While she was doing it, she thought about doors, all doors, and decided that they were very dumb because they always led to the same places. And the one she was cleaning was definitely the dumbest of all, the one that led to her parents’ bedroom. She opened the door and then it didn’t go to her parents’ bedroom but to the Gobi desert. She wasn’t surprised that she knew it was the Gobi desert even though they hadn’t even taught her in school where Mongolia was and neither she nor her mother nor her grandmother had ever heard of Nan Shan or Khangai Nuru.
She stepped through the door, bent over to scratch the yellowish grit and saw that there was no one, nothing, and the hot wind tousled her hair, so she went back through the open door, closed it and kept on cleaning. And when she finished, her mother grumbled a little more and told her to wash the rag and take the broom to sweep up that sand and clean her shoes. That day she modified her hasty judgment about doors, though not completely, at least not until she understood what was going on.
What had been going on all her life and up until today was that from time to time doors behaved satisfactorily, though in general they were still acting dumb and leading to dining rooms, kitchens, laundry rooms, bedrooms and offices even in the best of circumstances. But two months after the desert, for example, the door that every day led to the bath opened onto the workshop of a bearded man dressed in a long uniform, pointed shoes, and a cap that tilted on one side of his head. The old man’s back was turned as he took something out of a highboy with many small drawers behind a very strange, large wooden machine with a giant steering wheel and screw, in the midst of cold air and an acrid smell. When he turned around and saw her he began to shout at her in a language she didn’t understand.
She stuck out her tongue, dashed out the door, closed it, opened it again, went into the bathroom and washed her hands for lunch.
Again, after lunch, many years later, she opened the door of her room and walked into a battlefield. She dipped her hands in the blood of the wounded and dead and pulled from the neck of a cadaver a crucifix that she wore for a long time under high-necked blouses or dresses without plunging necklines. She now keeps it in a tin box underneath the nightgowns with a brooch, a pair of earrings and a broken wristwatch that used to belong to her mother-in-law. In the same way, involuntarily and by chance, she visited three monasteries, seven libraries, and the highest mountains in the world, and who knows how many theaters, cathedrals, jungles, refrigeration plants, dens of vice, universities, brothels, forests, stores, submarines, hotels, trenches, islands, factories, palaces, hovels, towers and hell.
She’s lost count and doesn’t care; any door could lead anywhere and that has the same value as the thickness of the ravioli dough, her mother’s death, and the life crises that she sees on TV and reads about in TV Guide.
Not long ago she took her daughter to the doctor, and seeing the closed door of a bathroom in the clinic, she smiled. She wasn’t sure because she can never be sure, but she got up and went to the bathroom. However, it was a bathroom; at least there was a nude man in a bathtub full of water. It was all very large, with a high ceiling, marble floor and decorations hanging from the closed windows. The man seemed to be asleep in his white bathtub, short but deep, and she saw a razor on a wrought iron table with feet decorated with iron flowers and leaves and ending in lion’s paws, a razor, a mirror, a curling iron, towels, a box of talcum powder and an earthen bowl with water. She approached on tiptoe, retrieved the razor, tiptoed over to the sleeping man in the tub and beheaded him. She threw the razor on the floor and rinsed her hands in the lukewarm bathtub water. She turned around when she reached the clinic corridor and spied a girl going into the bathroom through the other door. Her daughter looked at her.
“That was quick.”
“The toilet was broken,” she answered.
A few days afterward, she beheaded another man in a blue tent at night. That man and a woman were sleeping mostly uncovered by the blankets of a low, king-size bed, and the wind beat around the tent and slanted the flames of the oil lamps. Beyond it there would be another camp, soldiers, animals, sweat, manure, orders and weapons. But inside there was a sword by the leather and metal uniforms, and with it she cut off the head of the bearded man. The woman stirred and opened her eyes as she went out the door on her way back to the patio that she had been mopping.
On Monday and Thursday afternoons, when she irons shirt collars, she thinks of the slit necks and the blood, and she waits. If it’s summer she goes out to sweep a little after putting away the clothing and until her husband arrives. If it’s windy she sits in the kitchen and knits. But she doesn’t always find sleeping men or staring cadavers. One rainy morning, when she was twenty, she was at a prison, and she made fun of the chained prisoners; one night when the kids were kids and were all living at home, she saw in a square a disheveled woman looking at a gun but not daring to take it out of her open purse. She walked up to her, put the gun in the woman’s hand and stayed there until a car parked at the corner, until the woman saw a man in gray get out and look for his keys in his pocket, until the woman aimed and fired. And another night while she was doing her sixth grade geography homework, she went to look for crayons in her room and stood next to a man who was crying on a balcony. The balcony was so high, so far above the street, that she had an urge to push him to hear the thud down below, but she remembered the orographic map of South America and was about to leave. Anyhow, since the man hadn’t seen her, she did push him and saw him disappear and ran to color in the map so she didn’t hear the thud, only the scream. And in an empty theater, she made a fire underneath the velvet curtain; in a riot she opened the cover to a basement hatchway; in a house, sitting on top of a desk, she shredded a two-thousand-page manuscript; in a clearing of a forest she buried the weapons of the sleeping men; in a river she opened the floodgates of a dike.
Her daughter’s name is Laura Inés, her son has a fiancée in San Nicolás and he’s promised to bring her over on Sunday so she and her husband can meet her. She has to remind herself to ask her sister-in-law for the recipe for orange cake, and Friday on TV is the first episode of a new soap opera. Again, she runs the iron over the front of the shirt and remembers the other side of the doors that are always carefully closed in her house, that other side where the things that happen are much less abominable than the ones we experience on this side, as you can easily understand.

The Unmistakable Smell of Wood Violets [Tr by Womack]

Translated for the first time in Ann and Jeff Vandermeer's Big Book of Science Fiction (Vintage, 2016):

The news spread fast. It would be correct to say that the news moved like a flaming trail of gunpowder, if it weren't for the fact that at this point in our civilization gunpowder was archaeology, ashes in time, the stuff of legend, nothingness. However, it was because of the magic of our new civilization that the news was known all over the world, practically instantaneously.
"Oooh!" the tsarina said.
You have to take into account that Her Gracious and Most Illustrious Virgin Majesty Ekaterina V, Empress of Holy Russia, had been carefully educated in the proper decorum befitting the throne, which meant that she would never have even raised an eyebrow or curved the corner of her lip, far less would she have made an interjection of that rude and vulgar kind. But not only did she say "Oooh!," she also got up and walked through the room until she reached the glass doors of the great balcony. She stopped there. Down below, covered by snow, Saint Leninburg was indifferent and unchanged, the city's eyes squinting under the weight of winter. At the palace, ministers and advisers were excited, on edge.
"And where is this place?" the tsarina asked.
And that is what happened in Russia, which is such a distant and atypical country. In the central states of the continent, there was real commotion. In Bolivia, in Paraguay, in Madagascar, in all the great powers, and in the countries that aspired to be great powers, such as High Peru, Iceland, or Morocco, hasty conversations took place at the highest possible level with knitted brows and hired experts. The strongest currencies became unstable: the guarani rose, the Bolivian peso went down half a point, the crown was discreetly removed from the exchange rates for two long hours, long queues formed in front of the exchanges in front of all the great capitals of the world. President Morillo spoke from the Oruro Palace and used the opportunity to make a concealed warning (some would call it a threat) to the two Peruvian republics and the Minas Gerais secessionist area. Morillo had handed over the presidency of Minas to his nephew, Pepe Morillo, who had proved to be a wet blanket whom everybody could manipulate, and now Morillo bitterly regretted his decision. Morocco and Iceland did little more than give their diplomats a gentle nudge in the ribs, anything to shake them into action, as they imagined them all to be sipping grenadine and mango juice in the deep south while servants in shiny black uniforms stood over them with fans.
The picturesque note came from the Independent States of North America. It could not have been otherwise. Nobody knew that all the states were now once again under the control of a single president, but that's how it was: some guy called Jack Jackson-Franklin, who had been a bit-part actor in videos, and who, aged eighty-seven, had discovered his extremely patriotic vocation of statesman. Aided by his singular and inexplicable charisma, and by his suspect family tree, according to which he was the descendent of two presidents who had ruled over the states during their glory days, he had managed to unify, at least for now, the seventy-nine northern states. Anyway, Mr. Jackson-Franklin said to the world that the Independent States would not permit such a thing to take place. No more, just that they would not permit such a thing to take place. The world laughed uproariously at this.
Over there, in the Saint Leninburg palace, ministers cleared their throats, advisers swallowed saliva, trying to find out if, by bobbing their Adam's apples up and down enough, they might be able to loosen their stiff official shirts.
"Ahem. Ahem. It's in the south. A long way to the south. In the west, Your Majesty."
"It is. Humph. Ahem. It is, Your Majesty, a tiny country in a tiny territory."
"It says that it is in Argentina," the tsarina said, still staring through the window but without paying any attention to the night as it fell over the snow-covered roofs and the frozen shores of the Baltic.
"Ah, yes, that's right, that's right, Your Majesty, a pocket republic."
Sergei Vasilievich Kustkarov, some kind of councilor and, what is more, an educated and sensible man, broke into the conversation.
"Several, Your Majesty, it is several."
And at last the tsarina turned around. Who cared a fig for the Baltic night, the snow-covered rooftops, the roofs themselves, and the city of which they were a part? Heavy silk crackled, starched petticoats, lace.
"Several of what, Councilor Kustkarov, several of what? Don't come to me with your ambiguities."
"I must say, Your Majesty, I had not the slightest intention--"
"Several of what?"
The tsarina looked directly at him, her lips held tightly together, her hands moving unceasingly, and Kustkarov panicked, as well he might.
"Rep-rep-republics, Your Majesty," he blurted out. "Several of them. Apparently, a long time ago, a very long time, it used to be a single territory, and now it is several, several republics, but their inhabitants, the people who live in all of them, all of the republics, are called, they call themselves, the people, that is, Argentinians."
The tsarina turned her gaze away. Kustkarov felt so relieved that he was encouraged to carry on speaking:
"There are seven of them, Your Majesty: Rosario, Entre dos Rios, Ladocta, Ona, Riachuelo, Yujujuy, and Labodegga."
The tsarina sat down.
"We must do something," she said.
Silence. Outside it was not snowing, but inside it appeared to be. The tsarina looked at the transport minister.
"This enters into your portfolio," she said.
Kustkarov sat down, magnificently. How lucky he was to be a councilor, a councilor with no specific duties. The transport minister, on the other hand, turned pale.
"I think, Your Majesty...," he dared to say.
"Don't think! Do something!"
"Yes, Your Majesty," the minister said, and, bowing, started to make his way to the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" the tsarina said, without moving her mouth or twitching an eyelid.
"I'm just, I'm going, I'm just going to see what can be done, Your Majesty."
There's nothing that can be done, Sergei Vasilievich thought in delight, nothing. He realized that he was not upset, but instead he felt happy. And on top of everything else a woman, he thought. Kustkarov was married to Irina Waldoska-Urtiansk, a real beauty, perhaps the most beautiful woman in all of Holy Russia. Perhaps he was being cuckolded; it would have been all too easy for him to find that out, but he did not want to. His thoughts turned in a circle: and on top of everything else a woman. He looked at the tsarina and was struck, not for the first time, by her beauty. She was not so beautiful as Irina, but she was magnificent.
In Rosario it was not snowing, not because it was summer, although it was, but because it never snowed in Rosario. And there weren't any palm trees: the Moroccans would have been extremely disappointed had they known, but their diplomats said nothing about the Rosario flora in their reports, partly because the flora of Rosario was now practically nonexistent, and partly because diplomats are supposed to be above that kind of thing.
Everyone who was not a diplomat, that is to say, everyone, the population of the entire republic that in the last ten years had multiplied vertiginously and had now reached almost two hundred thousand souls, was euphoric, happy, triumphant. They surrounded her house, watched over her as she slept, left expensive imported fruits outside her door, followed her down the street. Some potentate allowed her the use of a Ford 99, which was one of the five cars in the whole country, and a madman who lived in the Espinillos cemetery hauled water all the way up from the Pará lagoon and grew a flower for her which he then gave her.
"How nice," she said, then went on, dreamily, "Will there be flowers where I'm going?"
They assured her that there would be.
She trained every day. As they did not know exactly what it was she had to do to train herself, she got up at dawn, ran around the Independence crater, skipped, did some gymnastic exercises, ate little, learned how to hold her breath, and spent hours and hours sitting or curled into strange positions. She also danced the waltz. She was almost positive that the waltz was not likely to come in handy, but she enjoyed it very much.
Meanwhile, farther away, the trail of gunpowder had become a barrel of dynamite, although dynamite was also a legendary substance and didn't exist. The infoscreens in every country, whether poor or rich, central or peripheral, developed or not, blazed forth with extremely large headlines suggesting dates, inventing biographical details, trying to hide, without much success, their envy and confusion. No one was fooled:
"We have been wretchedly beaten," the citizens of Bolivia said.
"Who would have thought it," pondered the man on the Reykjavík omnibus.
The former transport minister of Holy Russia was off breaking stones in Siberia. Councilor Sergei Vasilievich Kustkarov was sleeping with the tsarina, but that was only a piece of low, yet spicy, gossip that has nothing to do with this story.
"We will not allow this to happen!" Mr. Jackson-Franklin blustered, tugging nervously at his hairpiece. "It is our own glorious history that has set aside for us this brilliant destiny! It is we, we and not this despicable banana republic, who are marked for this glory!"
Mr. Jackson-Franklin also did not know that there were no palm trees or bananas in Rosario, but this was due not to a lack of reports from his diplomats but rather a lack of diplomats. Diplomats are a luxury that a poor country cannot afford, and so poor countries often go to great pains to take offense and recall all the knights commanders and lawyers and doctors and even eventually the generals working overseas, in order to save money on rent and electricity and gas and salaries, not to mention the cost of the banquets and all the money in brown paper envelopes.
But the headlines kept on appearing on the infoscreens: "Argentinian Astronaut Claims She Will Reach Edge of Universe," "Sources Claim Ship Is Spaceworthy in Spite of or Because of Centuries-Long Interment," "Science or Catastrophe?," "Astronaut Not a Woman but a Transsexual" (this in the Imperialskaya Gazeta, the most puritan of the infoscreens, even more so than the Papal Piccolo Osservatore Lombardo), "Ship Launches," "First Intergalactic Journey in Centuries," "We Will Not Allow This to Happen!" (Portland Times).
She was dancing the waltz. She woke up with her heart thumping, tried out various practical hairstyles, ran, skipped, drank only filtered water, ate only olives, avoided spies and journalists, went to see the ship every day, just to touch it. The mechanics all adored her.
"It'll work, they'll see, it'll work," the chief engineer said defiantly.
Nobody contradicted him. No one dared say that it wouldn't.
It would make it, of course it would make it. Not without going through many incredible adventures on its lengthy journey. Lengthy? No one knew who Langevin was anymore, so no one was shocked to discover that his theory contradicted itself, ended up biting its own tail, and that however long the journey took, the observers would only perceive it as having lasted minutes. Someone called Cervantes, a very famous personage back in the early years of human civilization--it was still debated whether he had been a physicist, a poet, or a musician--had suggested a similar theory in one of his lost works.
One autumn dawn the ship took off from the Independence crater, the most deserted part of the whole desert republic of Rosario, at five forty-five in the morning. The exact time is recorded because the inhabitants of the country had all pitched in together to buy a clock, which they thought the occasion deserved (there was one other clock, in the Enclosed Convent of the Servants of Santa Rita de Casino, but because the convent was home to an enclosed order nothing ever went in or out of it, no news, no requests, no answers, no nothing). Unfortunately, they had not had enough money. But then someone had had the brilliant idea which had brought in the money they needed, and Rosario had hired out its army for parades in friendly countries: there weren't that many of them and the ones there were weren't very rich, but they managed to get the cash together. Anyone who was inspired by patriotism and by the proximity of glory had to see those dashing officers, those disciplined soldiers dressed in gold and crimson, protected by shining breastplates, capped off with plumed helmets, their catapults and pouches of stones at their waists, goose-stepping through the capital of Entre Dos Rios or the Padrone Giol vineyards in Labodegga, at the foot of the majestic Andes.
The ship blasted off. It got lost against the sky. Before the inhabitants of Rosario, their hearts in their throats and their eyes clouded by emotion, had time to catch their breath, a little dot appeared up there, getting bigger and bigger, and it was the ship coming back down. It landed at 06:11 on the same morning of that same autumn day. The clock that recorded this is preserved in the Rosario Historical Museum. It no longer works, but anyone can go and see it in its display cabinet in Room A of the Museum. In Room B, in another display case, is the so-called Carballensis Indentic Axe, the fatal tool that cut down all the vegetation of Rosario and turned the whole country into a featureless plain. Good and evil, side by side, shoulder to shoulder.
Twenty-six minutes on Earth, many years on board the ship. Obviously, she did not have a watch or a calendar with her: the republic of Rosario would not have been able to afford either of them. But it was many years, she knew that much.
Leaving the galaxy was a piece of cake. You can do it in a couple of jumps, everyone knows that, following the instructions that Albert Einsteinstein, the multifaceted violin virtuoso, director of sci-fi movies, and student of space-time, gave us a few hundred years back. But the ship did not set sail to the very center of the universe, as its predecessors had done in the great era of colonization and discovery; no, the ship went right to the edge of the universe.
Everyone also knows that there is nothing in the universe, not even the universe itself, which does not grow weaker as you reach its edge. From pancakes to arteries, via love, rubbers, photographs, revenge, bridal gowns, and power. Everything tends to imperceptible changes at the beginning, rapid change afterward; everything at the edge is softer and more blurred, as the threads start to fray from the center to the outskirts.
In the time it took her to take a couple of breaths, a breath and a half, over the course of many years, she passed through habitable and uninhabitable places, worlds which had once been classified as existent, worlds which did not appear and had never appeared and probably would never appear in any cartographical survey. Planets of exiles, singing sands, minutes and seconds in tatters, whirlpools of nothingness, space junk, and that's without even mentioning those beings and things, all of which stood completely outside any possibility of description, so much so that we tend not to perceive them when we look at them; all of this, and shock, and fear more than anything else, and loneliness. The hair grew gray at her temples, her flesh lost its firmness, wrinkles appeared around her eyes and her mouth, her knees and ankles started to act up, she slept less than before and had to half close her eyes and lean backward in order to make out the numbers on the consoles. And she was so tired that it was almost unbearable. She did not waltz any longer: she put an old tape into an old machine and listened and moved her gray head in time with the orchestra.
She reached the edge of the universe. Here was where everything came to an end, so completely that even her tiredness disappeared and she felt once again as full of enthusiasm as she had when she was younger. There were hints, of course: salt storms, apparitions, little brushstrokes of white against the black of space, large gaps made of sound, echoes of long-dead voices that had died giving sinister orders, ash, drums; but when she reached the edge itself, these indications gave way to space signage: "End," "You Are Reaching the Universe Limits," "The Cosmos General Insurance Company, YOUR Company, Says: GO NO FURTHER," "End of Protected Cosmonaut Space," etc., as well as the scarlet polygon that the OMUU had adopted to use as a sign for that's it, abandon all hope, the end.
All right, so she was here. The next thing to do was go back. But the idea of going back never occurred to her. Women are capricious creatures, just like little boys: as soon as they get what they want, then they want something else. She carried on.
There was a violent judder as she crossed the limit. Then there was silence, peace, calm. All very alarming, to tell the truth. The needles did not move, the lights did not flash, the ventilation system did not hiss, her alveoli did not vibrate, her chair did not swivel, the screens were blank. She got up, went to the portholes, looked out, saw nothing. It was logical enough:
"Of course," she said to herself, "when the universe comes to an end, then there's nothing."
She looked out through the portholes a little more, just in case. She still could see nothing, but she had an idea.
"But I'm here," she said. "Me and the ship."
She put on a space suit and walked out into the nothing.
When the ship landed in the Independence crater in the republic of Rosario, twenty-six minutes after it had taken off, when the hatch opened and she appeared on the ramp, the spirit of Paul Langevin flew over the crater, laughing fit to burst. The only people who heard him were the madman who had grown the flower for her in the Espinillos cemetery and a woman who was to die that day. No one else had ears or fingers or tongue or feet, far less did they have eyes to see him.
It was the same woman who had left, the very same, and this calmed the crowds down at the same time as it disappointed them, all the inhabitants of the country, the diplomats, the spies, and the journalists. It was only when she came down the gangplank and they came closer to her that they saw the network of fine wrinkles around her eyes. All other signs of her old age had vanished, and had she wished, she could have waltzed tirelessly, for days and nights on end, from dusk till dawn till dusk.
The journalists all leaned forward; the diplomats made signals, which they thought were subtle and unseen, to the bearers of their sedan chairs to be ready to take them back to their residences as soon as they had heard what she had to say; the spies took photographs with the little cameras hidden away in their shirt buttons or their wisdom teeth; all the old people put their hands together; the men raised their fists to their heart; the little boys pranced; the young girls smiled.
And then she told them what she had seen:
"I took off my suit and my helmet," she said, "and walked along the invisible avenues that smelled of violets."
She did not know that the whole world was waiting to hear what she said; that Ekaterina V had made Sergei Vasilievich get up at five o'clock in the morning so that he could accompany her to the grand salon and wait there for the news; that one of the seventy-nine Northern States had declared its independence because the president had not stopped anything from happening or obtained any glory, and this had lit the spark of rebellion in the other seventy-eight states, and this had made Mr. Jackson-Franklin leave the White House without his wig, in pajamas, freezing and furious; that Bolivia, Paraguay, and Iceland had allowed the two Peruvian republics to join their new alliance and defense treaty set up against a possible attack from space; that the high command of the Paraguayan aeronautical engineers had promised to build a ship that could travel beyond the limits of the universe, always assuming that they could be granted legal immunity and a higher budget, a declaration that made the guarani fall back the two points that it had recently risen and then another one as well; that Don Schicchino Giol, the new padrone of the Republic of Labodegga at the foot of the majestic Andes had been woken from his most recent drinking bout to be told that he had now to sign a declaration of war against the Republic of Rosario, now that they knew the strength of the enemy's forces.
"Eh? What? Hunh?" Don Schicchino said.
"I saw the nothingness of everything," she said, "and it was all infused with the unmistakable smell of wood violets. The nothingness of the world is like the inside of a stomach throbbing above your head. The nothingness of people is like the back of a painting, black, with glasses and wires that release dreams of order and imperfect destinies. The nothingness of creatures with leathery wings is a crack in the air and the rustle of tiny feet. The nothingness of history is the massacre of the innocents. The nothingness of words, which is a throat and a hand that break whatever they touch on perforated paper; the nothingness of music, which is music. The nothingness of precincts, of crystal glasses, of seams, of hair, of liquids, of lights, of keys, of food."
When she had finished her list, the potentate who owned the Ford 99 said that he would give it to her, and that in the afternoon he would send one of his servants with a liter of naphtha so that she could take the car out for a spin.
"Thank you," she said. "You are very generous."
The madman went away, looking up to the skies; who knows what he was searching for. The woman who was going to die that day asked herself what she should eat on Sunday, when her sons and their wives came to lunch. The president of the Republic of Rosario gave a speech.
And everything in the world carried on the same, apart from the fact that Ekaterina V named Kustkarov her interior minister, which terrified the poor man but which was welcomed with open arms by Irina as an opportunity for her to refresh her wardrobe and her stock of lovers. And Jack Jackson-Franklin sold his memoirs to one of Paraguay's more sophisticated magazines for a stellar amount of money, which allowed him to retire to live in Imerina. And six spaceships from six major world powers set off to the edges of the universe and were never seen again.
She married a good man who had a house with a balcony, a white bicycle, and a radio which, on clear days, could pick up the radio plays that LLL1 Radio Magnum transmitted from Entre Dos Rios, and she waltzed in white satin shoes. The day that her first son was born a very pale green shoot grew out of the ground on the banks of the great lagoon.

120 Urban Hooks

I see this post so often, and I'm amazed that people have trouble of thinking of things to do in an urban environment, so I thought I'd lend a hand.
Thanks as always to The Gollicking members, Mimir-ion, Zweefer, RexiconJesse, u/arc_onyx, InfinityCircuit and DeathMcGunz.
I've built a lot of cities. I find that its best to categorize.

Arts (Theater, dance, art, music)
Nightlife (Drinking, dancing, sex)
Shopping (Basics and Luxury)
Entertainment (Museum, Library, Zoo, Circus, Auction, Sage)
Sports (Team and Solo, and includes Gambling)
Nautical (Fishing, diving, sailing, yachting)

Here's my personal city encounters lists, slightly altered with worldbuilding details to be more generic and useful. They are yours to take, amend, and discard, with my thanks.
There are 6 categories, with 20 entries for each category, giving us 120 encounters. (160 with the comment, below)
A d6 and a d20 can dice up a full roster of stuff to do quite quickly. Enjoy!

ARTS (01)

Free outdoor art gallery with paintings, sculpture, food vendors and musicians. A note is passed to the party from a stranger.
A new play from a famous playwright is debuting at the local theater. The party receives an invitation from an anonymous source via a messenger.
A street band is playing raucous tunes outside the party's lodgings and a crowd prevents them from entering. If they persist, they accidentally start a brawl.
A festival is being held in the city and all citizens and visitors are required to attend and pay fealty to the city's ruler. During the parade an explosion destroys some buildings and kills nearly 100 people. The party is very close to the blast and sees a hooded figure fleeing via rooftop.
A local busker who always recites bad elven poetry is found one morning turned to stone.
A band of mimes have come to the city to perform a series of comedy shows. One of the mimes is a Doppleganger and is here to assassinate one of the party's allies.
A dance troupe, known for their public and surprise appearances (a "flashmob"), starts a performance in and around the party in the street. During the performance one of the dancers lunges at one of the party members and whispers, "Help me" in their ear, before carrying on with the spectacle.
A mysterious sculpture garden has "sprouted" in a main city street, seemingly grown from the very ground itself. All of the figures are depictions of body horror and some spectators have been driven mad or died after looking at them for too long.
Artist paints caricature portraits of passers-by which come to life at night to cause havoc.
There is a sand castle contest at the local beach. While digging a pit one contestant finds a wooden chest. It is sealed with arcane sigils and very dangerous. Inside is a lifeform.
The party is asked to investigate a local art gallery as the last known location of a model that has disappeared. The party finds extremely life like statues of various people, missing model included, and discovers the sculptor is a Maedar, with a pet Basilisk, trying to replicate his dead mate (a Medusa).
The party is invited to a studio for free painting lessons. The paint fumes trigger a spell that sends the party into a collective Dream. They must find their way out and defeat the Artist-Wizard and his pet Nothic before they are bled dry (to fuel a hideous ritual).
An audience-participation theater-event is occurring in one of the parks, and the party is encouraged to join, and are asked to put on some simple costumes. Upon doing so, they are swapped with hidden Clones, who continue the performance, while the party is teleported to an underground prison full of holding cells. There are dozens of other trapped citizens there.
A new popular song is all the rage and being sung by drunken bravos and university students alike. The song has a 10% to transfer an audio-parasite, that will drive the singer mad and ultimately into a catatonic state over the course of 7 days. During this time they will be compelled to sing the “hook” over and over, in the hopes of infecting any nearby listeners.
A master tattooist has set up a temporary shop on the fringes of the city. For a hefty fee, the customer will receive an exquisite piece of personal art, and on full moons, the tattoo will be able to sense the presence of magic, poisons, disease, or creature types (DMs choice). The master will leave after 24 hours, never to be seen again and the tattoo will fade completely after 30 days.
An artist is painting landscapes on the street. She says she’ll paint any place the customer desires. For a fee, she can make the painting a one-time portal to that place. The portals always go to the wrong location (this is discovered after travel has occurred).
A local homeless man, who mimes for money along the Promenade and in the Park, suddenly finds his invisible walls and pretend ropes are real. Passersby run into invisible walls of force left behind by him, people are dragged to him by his invisible rope, and he now hides in a corner of the park, afraid he will hurt others with this newfound power. The local Telekinesis Guild (bunch of filthy impostors and con artists, mostly) are furious that he has what they secretly do not, and has put a bounty on him, paid upon live delivery to their guild house.
A local street band is performing the show of their life and the music has become magical. Any Bards present will be able to “draw” 1-3 new spells from the performance. All others will be Blessed for the next 48 hours.
An artist has set up a crude telescope, pointing at the ground. For a small fee, you can look through the telescope and see a miniature world, full of tiny blue humanoids in a stone-age environment. The telescope is enchanted with a very detailed Major Illusion spell that allows the humanoids to be seen, and is also Cursed to drive the viewer mad by causing them to see the tiny blue humanoids everywhere they go. The curse will begin 24 hours after using the telescope and will persist for 30 days or until the victim goes mad, or dies. The Curse will manifest the humanoids as watching, then menacing, then threatening, then murderous.
Some Elven sculptors have set up a “Century Garden” - plinths of stone overhung by apparatus with funnels in different angles and locations that drip acids onto the stone - slowly forming the final form of the artists vision. The artist is selling tickets (valid in 100 years) to attend the ceremony.

NIGHTLIFE (02)

A local tavern is showcasing a new lager and a spruiker is on the streets handing out "1/2 off" coupons to passersby. The party is given "2 free drinks" coupons on purpose by the NPC. A stranger is waiting inside that wants to talk to the party.
A dance club, on a typical night, has been infiltrated by an Avatar of Bacchus and has caused the party to spill into the streets where it has been pulling in passersby. The party is caught up in the crowd.
An exclusive nightclub has opened, membership only. One of the party’s allies goes missing and was last seen there. The club is a coven of Sorcerers and every night they sacrifice a kidnapped customer to try to summon an Eldritch Horror.
A hot club in town is secretly run by vampires. Cover charge is 1 pint of blood. Thralls being thralls, one of them talks, and a Hunter has gotten wind of the nest. The party will see him interrogating a thrall and escalating to torture.
A drunken brawl spills out of a tavern near the party. The fight is brutal, involving makeshift weapons and ends up overtaking the party. If they do not flee, during the fracas the party notices that one of the brawlers is biting his opponents and swallowing the flesh. If they do flee, they hear the next day that a pile of half-eaten bodies was discovered in the aftermath. A new zombie-master has come to town.
While out drinking, the party sees a Silver Elf enter the tavern, and time slows to 50% of its current speed for all but the party and Elf, who remain at 100%. The Elf asks the party if they would like to play a game of chess. If they say no, the Elf vanishes, and time returns to normal. If they agree they must wager a precious/strong/important memory against the answer to any question. The Elf has an INT modifier of +4 and a +4 proficiency in gaming. Upon the conclusion of the game, the Elf vanishes and time returns to normal. The bar patrons never see the Elf.
While in a tavern, a game of darts among some locals concludes in violence and 2 end up dead. On one of the deceased bodies is a treasure map that leads to a guarded vault in the wilderness.
A particularly virulent STD is going around the brothels. Over the course of 72 hours it turns the afflicted into a receptor for mental dominance from a powerful psion. The “Mind Taker” uses these puppets to rob the afflicted and deliver their valuables to a guarded location. Then the psion drains the puppet of its final mental faculties and stores it as an energy source for later. The bodies are then destroyed using a Rod of Disintegration. One of the party’s allies (or a party member themselves) has come down with a case of “The Threads” (so named for the red lines of infection radiating from the genitalia into the legs and torso.
A dance club has been cursed by a witch to afflict some (30%) of the customers with “Otiluke’s Irresistible Dance”. Some patrons have been dropping dead from it and the club owners are covering it up by secretly burying the bodies in the basement and drugging the witnesses. The party is present for this or one of their allies goes missing.
A man attempting to throw a party so massive he will officially become “the God of Partying” wants the players to help him throw an absolute rager. If they help, he will remember them fondly when he reaches godhood. The party could overrun the region/city.
The party finds a club throwing a rager in the party’s honor. All night, people toast the party members, dance with them, and celebrate. No one in the party has to pay for drinks. The next day, the party gets the bill for everyone's drinks. The tavern was told the event was for the party and would be paid for by them as well.
A new fad in the high-end taverns of the city, catering to young noblemen with too much money and not enough sense, is a drink called The Kiss. One part grain alcohol, one part pufferfish venom - a shot of this causes hallucinations and numbness, in addition to more than the usual drunkenness. Two young men, heirs to fortunes and titles in the court, have died in the last two nights. Word is they drank too many of these. The noble families want blood, and put bounties on all known bartenders serving This Kiss. The guard don’t want a riot on their hands if they interfere with the Mixologist’s Guild, the most powerful multinational trade guild in the world. A representative from the Crown has summoned the party, to discreetly investigate the explosive situation.
A group of drunks stumble towards the party and push through/past them. During this, the party will each be subject to a Pickpocket attempt (+8 Sleight of Hand). If discovered, the “drunks” are a pack of rogues who “own” this territory. If challenged, they will flee and return with a number of Thugs equal to the number of party members.
A grifter comes up to the party and bets that they can guess “where you got your boots/shoes”. The answer is “on your feet” (where the footwear currently is). The grifter will demand a small amount of cash after this, and will become hostile if denied or hassled.
An avatar of Bacchus/Dionysus appears in the area and begins a Revel. Those who hear the music or see the dancing/drinking must save vs Wisdom (DC 20) or join in. The Revel will last for 72-96 hours and leave partygoers with 3 levels of Exhaustion (and be many miles from where it started).
A Dwarven “thrashgnome” band is throwing an impromptu concert on the roof of a local tavern. The noise is deafening and a large brawl will erupt after awhile - during the fracas an object will find itself at the feet of one of the party members. It is a powerful Fetish that was stolen from a Witch (who has been seeking it, and is nearby).
The party enters a tavern to discover their money is “no good” and they are suddenly crowned “Lager Kings/Queens” for the night, and feted and welcomed by each individual tavern patron. The party will, as the sun rises, be poisoned by the insinuative poison that was in each successive drink, and if they fail a Con check vs a high DC, they will be magically Sleep’ed and find themselves strapped to a basement altar for a hatchling Gold Dragon to feed upon. If they succeed on the check, they are very ill and considered Incapacitated for the next 24 hours.
A new tavern has appeared in the area, and will vanish after the night’s festivities to appear in a random location in the world the next night. The tavern patrons are all Fey, and this is the “Wandering Druid Pub”.
A dealer is handing out “free tokes” of a new narcotic. The narcotic is powerful and hallucinatory, but harmless otherwise, except for the addiction rate, which is near 100%. A Con check vs a high DC is required. If failed, the user must take the drug again in the next 24 hours or suffer 2 levels of Fatigue. Every day without the drug thereafter confers another level of Fatigue. If the check is passed, they will become violently nauseous every time they take the drug again.
A group of Gnomish Brewmasters have set up a tasting booth on the street and are giving out free samples of “Old Brown Mare” - a powerful stout that has a tiny side effect - 10% of the imbibers are shrunk to Gnomish height for 24 hours.
(OPTIONAL) - A cadre of bound Incubi and Succubi have escaped from a brothel and are desperately seeking an escape from the area. They will make any deal possible to make this happen.

SHOPPING (03)

While looking for weapons, a party member "accidentally" activates a sentient weapon, who declares the party member as "master" and demands to know what has happened since it was "put to sleep".
While shopping, one or more of the party members is pickpocketed by a young kid who is part of an "urchin gang". This gang is an arm of one of the more powerful rogue guilds in the city.
A street vendor is selling “gag gifts”, guaranteed to ensure the perfect prank. All the objects are cursed, and the vendor reveals this as if they were joking, as part of the shtick.
Upon purchasing a normal mundane item, it is found to be hollow, with an unknown substance hidden inside of it. If left undiscovered, the person who sold it will try to get the item back, by negotiation or violence, it depends on the party’s willingness to part with it.
A certain type of plush toy is all the rage in this city, and the party will acquire one upon their next purchase - all the merchants were paid to distribute these as “customer incentives.” The toys act as scrying focus for the local thieves guild. The party’s lodgings will be robbed within 24 hours obtaining the toy.
An extraordinary amount of the richer folk of the town have gathered on the plaza. Gregory’s Golden Garments has arrived back in town from one of his far-off trading junkets. He brings the most exclusive textiles and materials to town, and the auction has started (dragon-skins, silk, etc.). During the auction, someone purchases a rare bolt of material and the party finds it in their room later, with instructions to hide it. If they don’t, a group of Assassins come looking for it. If they do, they will be contacted by a mysterious agent who asks them to transport it far away for a hefty fee.
An Annual Food Festival kicks off with much fanfare. However, someone has poisoned the foodstuffs and half the city is sick with nausea and other vile emissions. The organisers, afraid to lose their heads, have set a hefty bounty for finding the culprit(s), and one of these pamphlets is pushed on the party.
While shopping for weapons, a woman approaches the party and asks them to sell a weapon for her, as she cannot. She explains that the weapon is Cursed and will not allow itself to be sold by the owner. If the party agrees, she looks visible relieved and hands the item over. Now the weapon belongs to the party member who took it (and it cannot be sold). The item is a -1 weapon.
A small purse keeps whispering at a player for them to buy it. It remains silent when others are observing it and refuses to talk if it thinks anyone else can hear it. It says it can help them (count money, hide it from pickpockets, and offer insight) if they give it something in return (it wants costly gemstones).
Every store and restaurant the party enters seems to be run by the same person. If confronted, they laugh and say they “get that all the time”, but will profess ignorance otherwise. The merchants are all Dopplegangers and today is their “Day of Pranks”. If two merchants are forced together, they will become violent and the others will run out to join them.
The party finds a flyer shoved under their lodging’s door that promises “75% off all Adventuring Gear” at a local merchant. The merchant is very chatty and inquisitive and will press the party for information about where they are going next. The merchant then sells this information to a gang of rogues who will follow the party and attempt to rob them as they exit the dungeon.
While shopping for clothes, a party member hears a weeping noise. No one around seems to be crying, so if this is investigated, the member finds a top hat that seems to be the source. If the hat is put on, the party member is Cursed with a particularly nasty form of melancholia.
The next time an item of clothing is purchased, the party member discovers that it has a large “Pocket Dimension” concealed within its folds. There is an object already inside the pocket.
A beautiful man/woman approaches the lowest CHA party member and offers to make their “dreams come true” if they will sell their soul. The man/woman will cast a real Wish on behalf of the party member (which works without the usual DM fuckery, but will expire in 1 year, and a group of Devils will appear to collect the player’s soul). If refused, the man/woman will leave, but if confronted, they will flee. The man/woman is a mortal humanoid who simply shills for a Crossroads Devil.
While shopping for arrows/projectiles, the merchant offers the party a “one-time deal” of some special projectiles that are “guaranteed to strike their target every time” and will demonstrate this quality in a shooting lane set up in the back of the shop. The projectile will work as promised within the shop itself, without limit, but outside the shop, the first 3 only will work as promised and the rest will automatically fail-to-hit. If confronted later, the shopkeeper will claim ignorance and claim the party member is lying (even going so far as to call the Watch for harassment).
The city is having a 50% sale, city-wide, for the next 24 hours. Rogues know this too, and are everywhere, preying on the crowds, or following them home to be robbed later.
While shopping for provisions, the merchant says they are looking for “exotic meat hunters”, and will pay top prices for “anything unusual” without limit, provided the meat is delivered dressed.
A new confectionery store has opened and is giving away free samples in the streets. The sweets are mildly intoxicating, and have the added side-effect of making those who eat them very amorous for the next 8 hours. The owners are clerics of the Deity of Love.
An arsonist is burning down merchant shops, by “category”. The perpetrator is a failed businessperson themselves, and is merely seeking revenge. The first things burned are the weapon and armor shops.
While shopping for armor, the merchant offers to show the party a “special selection” of exotic armor. These are all very unusual and very expensive. This is a one-time offer that will never be repeated and if confronted, the merchant will claim ignorance as to the existence of the exotic armors, and if the shop is searched, they are nowhere to be found.

ENTERTAINMENT (04)

The party receives an anonymous gift of entry passes to an exclusive and private club in the city. At the club, the party is approached by cultists who attempt to persuade the party into joining.
The museum is showcasing some rare artifacts. While visiting, the party is present during the brazen theft of one of the objects - an item of unique and dangerous powers.
Zoo animals have escaped and are menacing the population!
A local sage sends an urgent message to the party about a matter of great importance. The sage, a bit senile, has gotten mixed up and this is not the group he was supposed to contact. He does not realize this and treats the party as if they were hired to retrieve a book from an old, guarded crypt. If the party refuses, the Sage will eventually be foolish enough to try it himself and the party will hear about his death.
A public estate sale of one of the city’s wealthiest families is announced. The prices are high, but the quality equally impressive. In the announcement is an object that the party or one of the party members has been looking for. If they attend the sale, they discover the price is three times higher than they can afford (even after pooling money or getting a loan). The security is strong but not impossible...
The museum is showcasing the preserved remains of a long-dead monster race as part of a traveling exhibition. During a tour, or at night when closed, the monsters are revived by an interested party, and they go on a murderous spree. They attack either the party (along with many others) or one of the party’s allies.
A series of foreign street magicians has entered town and perform solo acts all over town. One of them is near the party, and they need a volunteer for a (permanent) disappearing act.
A street corner storyteller is spinning a tale of adventure and peril to a crowd. The tale sounds suspiciously like the last adventure the party had.
While eating, the party sees a puppet show happening nearby. They find it (magically) difficult to avert their eyes from the felt performers and can see figures moving out of the corners of their eyes. These are Oblique Golems, and can only move when not being viewed. The golems will attempt to rob anyone nearby. The puppets are just puppets.
An Escape Room boasts a valuable prize for any group who can escape/solve the room before the hourglass fills. Several of the puzzles in the escape room align runes and involve magic words of power. If the party manages to complete the room, they complete the spell, finding a portal now open above the building. Demons pour from it into the town, and it cannot be closed for at least 24 hours.
Some fire-jugglers are performing in the street, and they appear to be using magic to create illusionary figures that leap from the burning torches. These are actually Mephits, and the fire-jugglers did not summon them, they appeared on their own. They run off to cause havoc and burn as much of the city as they can.
A local casino is offering big prizes to “Spin the Wheel” - with only a 5% chance of winning, this is mostly a scam, but those who play are Wizard-Marked to be robbed later. The prizes for actually winning are 4-figures.
A pig-racing track has been cordoned off - turning the streets into the racecourse. All are welcome to enter, and whoever wins is offered a lucrative contract joining the “Hog Ridin’ Circuit” - a racing tournament involving half-a-dozen cities and some very shady dealings.
A masked spruiker hands the party an ornately engraved thin metal plaque inviting them to an exclusive event at a place called “The Garden”, and a map is etched on the reverse side. The event, if attended, presents the party with an opportunity to travel to another plane and earn the favor of a powerful, if enigmatic figure.
A group of acrobats are performing feats and stunts in the street. During the performance, one of the party members sees the face of one of the tumblers momentarily change into something monstrous.
A pair of dueling Illusionists is staging an elaborate mock-battle in a nearby park, but neglected to inform anyone of this beforehand and have caused a panic.
A tour group suddenly appears and engulfs the party. The guide is pointing out places where famous adventurers have died, and suddenly points right where the party is standing and begins discussing them as if they were not there! The tour group can not be interacted with (as they are projections from the future) and soon quickly departs and vanishes around a corner.
A street lottery is being held by a local neighborhood social group. The cost is low and any tickets purchased are said to go towards upgrading the local park. There is a 50% that the party wins a modest prize of home-baked goods. The locals will send a message to the party later that their tickets were fraudulent and demand a return of the prize or the equivalent value in currency. This “lottery” is a common scam run in the area on obvious tourists.
During an previous-announced free concert by some famous Bards, a bomb explodes.
A street comedian is inadvertently casting “Tasha’s Hideous Laughter” on audience members. The phenomenon is soon discovered and the comedian flees. Later, he is found dead and covered in a thin slime.

SPORTS (05)

The party receives an anonymous gift of tickets to a local sporting match. If they attend, they are approached by an NPC who says they represent a "person who wishes to remain nameless, but desires to procure your services in a delicate, and potentially dangerous matter."
The party is invited by a local ally to attend a boxing match. At the match both fighters are killed by a powerful assassin who works in secret for a local politician.
The party attends a game of skill and is accused of bribing a ref to throw the game by a rogue (who did actually rig the fight, but now has been caught and is desperate). A few of his crew will back him up and some of the crowd sides with them.
A marathon race has been scheduled to wind through the city as part of a larger season of racing. A number of famous people and some talented locals will participate. During the race, several of the runners suddenly collapse and begin coughing blood. This is the start of a disease outbreak, and will, without precautions, infect over half the city in only 72 hours. The source is magical in nature, and part of a larger scheme to cripple the city by a secret faction.
A bare-knuckle street match has been set up by an enterprising rogue/wizard. A series of ringers are inviting all-comers to challenge for a fat purse. Those who fight are wizard-marked, and followed later, to be kidnapped and bound for a fighting-arena in the Underdark.
An illegal horse race, infamous in the city for causing multiple deaths every year, is about to commence once again. The street the party currently finds themselves in will turn into the aftermath of a battlefield within several seconds. The race has no rules and is heavily wagered upon by the criminal elements of the city.
A “Circus Maximus” involving blood-sport, animal fighting, and a “nautical spectacle” is going to be held at the city’s largest stadium. The public is allowed to sign up to fight in one of the 3 events. The purse for winning is generous (5 figures) and is, of course, rigged and being carefully watched by the strongest Rogues Guild in the city, who stand to make a pile of money. If the party participates, they will see that some of their opponents have been enchanted with speed and strength.
An annual Guards Competition is about to commence. They are divided into 4 teams, and the locals have lifelong and fierce loyalties
In one quarter is an annual event - the Endurance Drinking Contest. A group of competitors take a shot, perform a task, take a shot, perform a different task, repeat. The winner gets a trophy, their portrait on the wall of winners, and bragging rights. The tasks range from silly to nearly impossible.
A mounted race is about to commence, and the party runs into a thick crowd along the edges of the route. If the party chooses to stay to watch, they will see one of the riders being assassinated from a position high above the streets by a mage’s spell.
A traveling ball-team is looking for a manager and some bodyguards, and one of the party’s allies has recommended the party, as a joke. The team shows up where the party is to conduct an interview.
A boxing match has resulted in a death and the angry and bewildered crowd has spilled out into the streets in a terrible brawl, hurting bystanders and destroying property. If the body is examined, 3 small holes in the back of the dead boxer’s neck can be found and 3 small projectiles found inside the wound. The trail leads to a mage’s henchman.
Illegal cart-racing has been taking place at night among the city’s youth and an ally of the party is terribly worried about their child’s possible-participation. The racing will soon claim lives.
The Dozens has arrived in the city - a nationwide, very famous content of insults and put-downs. The entry fee is to survive a round-robin of burns during The Throwdown, where hundreds will enter. The prize is bragging rights, a 4-figure cash prize, and the chance to defend their title next year.
An ally of the party has entered a marathon footrace. During the race, the ally disappears.
A Fishing Derby, the 1st of 3 contests each year, is being held by any who wish to pay the modest entry fee. There is only one rule - you cannot use a traditional rod/reel, fly, or net/seine to catch the fish. The Derby draws the inventive and the mad, and lasts over 3 days.
A professional team of Goliath and Dwarven “Chicken Fighters” arrive at the city for an exhibition match in the city’s swimming pool. One of the Goliath recognizes a party member (whether the members also remembers them, or not) and offers free tickets. During the match, one of the Dwarves is hurt, and after a flurry of rules-consultations, its determined that a substitute is allowed. The party is looked at by the Goliath and asked for help.
A ping-pong match is being staged between Royal cousins, to settle a dispute. The match is going to be public, and during it, both Royals disappear and are replaced with monkeys. Uproar ensues.
The party finds out there is an underground avian-fighting event happening below the tavern. When they go to investigate, they find a goose and a rooster on opposite sides of a metal chess board pushing the pieces around randomly. A ref resets illegal moves and pulls captured pieces from the board. The crowd roars wildly, screaming for their bird to win the game. The party is approached by a grifter who says he knows who’s going to win and will sell the info. The grifter’s prediction will prove right 2 times, then wrong the 3rd time.
An illegal blood-sport fighting match has caused the death of a local celebrity and the party has been framed for the murder.

NAUTICAL (06)

A local ally invites the party on a fishing trip. While on the trip, the vessel is attacked by a desperate band of Kuo-Toa, who appear to be diseased and attack with a more-than-usual savage aggression.
The city is holding a yachting regatta and the party is present when one of the ships catches fire. Many accusations are bandied about and most seem to blame one of the city’s administrators who had a grudge.
A seasonal storm rushes over the city does significant (and costly) damage to the local fleets (and any ships the party might have moored here). Trade and travel is stalled and only a hefty bribe and some forceful diplomacy can secure any movement needs that the party might have.
A local mad-wizard-inventor is launching a submarine and has asked for volunteer pilots and crew. If the party accepts, they are attacked by a great white shark. If they do not, the sub is sunk by the shark. The mad-wizard will try again next month with a new design. If the shark has been killed, this version will find a sunken treasure worth a king’s fortune.
The party is invited to a beach party by an ally. While there, a number of party-goers find themselves suddenly growing gills and webbed feet and toes and a strong urge to enter the ocean. They have been drugged by a Sahuagin Sorcerer, who is trying to build an “amphibious army” to attack the town and destroy it.
A large number of Brachia (Crab-Folk) have surfaced in the bay and are attempting to communicate via the Dream spell (which will manifest as the entire town committing suicide, and this will be dreamed en-masse by the locals). This dream is not a threat, but a warning of what will happen if the townsfolk don’t rid themselves of a recently-acquired magic item (by the party themselves, or by another adventuring group). They have 72 hours to unravel the mystery.
A number of Were-Sharks are attacking swimmers at night (mostly kids/young adults out partying on the beach). These therianthropes are not aware of their actions, but know something is wrong. While shape-changed, they work as a team, like wolves.
While passing a street they encounter a group of semi-drunken sailors. The sailors start a brawl with the party, for their fun. When magic or weapons are used things will get nasty as the sailors will pull shivs, long knives, chains, and cudgels.
Something has turned the ocean red and fish are dying in great numbers.
A large statue that could be worth a lot is trapped in a cavern in the water. If the party can retrieve it without additional help, they can claim it as their own, sell it, and keep all of the profits. If they enlist any help, the local authorities will take over the operation and claim the statue for themselves.
During a sailboat race, a school of merfolk begin harassing and destroying the boats.
A group of traveling sailors try to sell famous and popular books, paintings, and equipment to the party at a great price. Upon closer inspection, the items appear to be forgeries.
A seadragon is heading for the coast, but rumor has it she will slumber if told a bedtime story. In order for her to hear it, the party must intercept her and shout the story from aboard a ship. But it better be a good story.
An ocean water spirit wants to visit a fellow spirit friend who is further inland. They will make a path over land of water they can travel through. The party can try to convince the spirit to follow their path and plot a nondestructive course, or they can try to stop the spirit from visiting their friend through force.
For three days, no one has been able to catch a fish with a hook and line. Nothing even bites, something just cuts the lines before any fish can bite.
Tidal Wave!
A local surfer has gone missing and only his surfboard is found on the beach, covered in a black slime. Days later, his head (missing the eyes) washes ashore.
An Aboleth has awoken in the bay and starts calling minions to serve it. Some of them are townsfolk, and possibly the Mayor as well.
A waterspout threatens the docked ships in the harbor. It is not a natural occurrence.
A pack of Scrag (Sea Trolls) have started plucking beachcombers from the shoreline.

A Fistfull of Slime

A FISTFULL OF SLIME
Intro:
Jcole:
Here ye members of the court! A tale of legend I..Jcole, have come to report!
From fire and steel to gold and ice!
To drip to drown, with virtue or vice?
In our fair land of rhyme and rhythm
What is now whole shall fall to schism
The King Youngboy, the great lord Drake!
From Kanye to Uzi’s Eternal Atake!
Great powers come to move and shift
Lend ear to my tale
And let your mind drift.
38 Baby the Second
*Whole cast celebrating in the streets for youngboys album release*
Ensemble:
Oh its time its almost time! The Great rap day awaits!
Oh it's time to drip or drown
With Youngboy’s sacred Tape!
Kanye:
I had a twisted fantasy!
Chief Keef:
And I made Finally rich
Polo G:
But next to youngboy’s greatest work we all seem like his bitch
Quando:
You old heads are so dramatic.
Ensemble:
Oh its time it's time! Everyone get frantic!
Oh it's time to drip or drown
With Youngboy’s latest antic!
Drake:
Oh youngboy of greatest slime!
This work I can't await!
For when it falls upon my ears
I'm sure that I will faint!
Youngboy:
Yes I know my little slimes I know you want this flame
But before all the hype explodes just let me say its name!
Ensemble: Thirty Eight Baby Two!!
*Ddawg nudges Quando, whispers in ear *
Both in unison:
Attention crowd! let the man speak treat his words with respect watch your attention peak.
*Quando looks at youngboy and winks, youngboy bows head slightly*
Youngboy:
ok ok, I’d like to thank you all who came to hear my proclamation.
From all corners of the nation
we build up a foundation
with hard work-determination and no incantation.
and no nothing was built on the back of 38 so I’d appreciate if y’all could wait
just a little while longer. But my what an honour to rule this fine fief or rap lords and trap queens alike and despite
the wars ending our economy’s not!
And we’ve made a play onto the global stage and stole the spot!
*Kanye points at watch*
Light, right. In conclusion our peace is might tight. But 38 2 is not ripe; believe me I’m trying to write fast and I’ll have it ready in a right flash.
Drake:
thank you for your attentive ears loyal subjects, now disperse.
Scene 1:
*The party fades and most leave, except Drake Kanye and YB*
Drake:
Ha Ha, what a show Your Slimeness!
The populace can't wait!
this album will change the game
right from under our feet all over again.
Youngboy:
Yes...Yes they did seem excited didn't they?
I just hope I can live up to it.
Kanye:
How could the first king to win his throne on one one album alone possibly disappoint.
Youngboy:
You miss the point
Drake:
let alone your ascension to the throne was spectacular now you’ve got that tone plus your vernacular *hand kiss food thingy* you're magic is here. you’ve got the people eating from the palm of your hand. True power my boy there is no equal and be most careful, for there is not always a sequel.
Youngboy:
thank you Lord Drake, Lord Kanye.
*Enter Quando Rondo and Ddawg*
Quando:
YooooOOOO! You know it’s Quando and Ddwag about to tear it up and you know I feel my talent flarein, my boy YB bout to drop the heat. But then why his company looking older than 1st street?
Ddawg:
Word.
Kanye:
I can’t believe they made it past my guards again.
*Youngboy shoots Kanye a dirty look and Kanye recomposes*
Youngboy:
I’m glad you guys are here I’ve-
Quando:
wait wa wait wat, it can wait. I’ve just received an invitation from a trio of lucky maidens to accompany them to the tavern
Ddawg:
it’d be dope to hang out as a group again.
Youngboy :
it would be
*smiles at Ddawg*
but knowing you, we’d probably end in a drunken brawl over somebody’s honour.
Quando:
like you don’t love it.
Youngboy:
that may be so, but I’ve just got a lot going on right now and with 38 2 so close, dont worry about it. As soon as 38 baby 2 drops We’ll all go out drinking fine henny until we burst.
Ddawg:
let’s make it Molly water , can’t Stand the scent of Hennesey after last time.
Youngboy:
alright
*Both look at Quando who is playing hard to get*
Quando:
ok but you’re buying.
Youngboy:
when didn’t I
*Mockingly curtsy*
both: my lord
*Youngboy laughs until he realized Kanye is glaring at him the same way he was earlier and recomposes*
Kanye:
that’s enough
*Q&D exit *
Kanye:
you know my liege, you didn’t have to bring them to the capital with you.
Youngboy:
what’s the point of being king if I forget where I came from?
Drake:
besides the boy is young, let him have his fun while he can
*pats YB on the back*
Kanye:
You know I always loved this part of the Castle.
The Hall of Kings.
From Pac to Pump
All our fabled leaders represented in carti’s glory.
One day you can be up there Youngboy.
Along with the Greats.
Youngboy:
Would you two leave me for the night?
I wish to do some thinking.
Drake:
But of course.
*Drake and Ye exit*
The Pressures of Clout
Youngboy:
Kings of Old Instruct me! Tell me what to do!
How can I make a new album, that can live up to all of you?
They all want another Untouchable, they all want another Dream
But they don't think about what it takes
To achieve that kind of Gleam
I just need more time but release day is coming
I just need the drip and the top to keep coming
I just wish that something would take their mind off it!
I just wish that I had time to enjoy my profit
I need more time
All the days that spent writing, was all for not if they don’t like it?
Even when I hear it, I know that it’s not perfect (and they deserve perfect)
The past is wall I can’t break through, the future an abyss, that holds true
I just wish that something would take their mind off it!
Just long enough to a polish all its gleam to shine!
I need more time.
If Im to do it right
the people want it done right,
tight. I’ll sit and type and every day and every night ill write
the lyrics out and print em out I’ll use my mind to the peak of it's design.
Cuz that’s part of the slimelight!
I’ll write until I lose sight I’ll write until the albums right.
And yeah I might just write until I drop dead but you have no idea how much I’ve bled! The streets discuss my album and I’m all bed if I die in the pursuits of slime then at least I’m all red.
But alas I ramble and rave in my spot
Savage asked how much I cried
A lot
I must seek council in these dark times.
I should speak with the Oracles.
*Exit Youngboy*
Scene 2:
*Enter Jcole*
Jcole:
And so Youngboy seems to lack the flame
That once had empowered him to change the game
The Council of three, he will now approach
The Migos almighty do now encroach
*Exit Jcole*
*Youngboy into Chamber of the Oracles*
Youngboy:
Oh wise Migos, oracles of trap
How can there be a who’s king afraid to rap
I made my first album with time as my leisure
And now that I've won I just can't stop the pressure! How do I tell the kingdom it’s just not ready?
Quavo:
King Young Boy that ain't why you came (Nah!) so let’s not play that game
Offset:
You're looking for a way to delay and sing more time
Quavo:
King slime you will soon encounter an immovable wall
(mama)
Offset:
and an endless abyss
(on sight)
Quavo:
to counter this you must accept the wall and jump willingly to your death
(takeoff)
Youngboy:
I needn't tell you I’ve no clue of what you speak.
Quavo:
heed our warning king!
Three migos:
a dark cloud broods over the king and thus the kingdom
Offset:
a time of strife and then some approaches
Three Migos:
even now it encroaches!
Quavo:
it toils alone and alone it is in anguish, soon to be released it's dreaded verbal ambush
Takeoff:
hiding with roaches it dwells in scwaller, yet it thinks itself a grand baller. It hides it's content and harms those it holds dearest! it do!
Youngboy:
hides it's content, verbal ambush? surely you don’t mean to say I am this cloud?
Quavo:
we tell you what we see, a simple prophecy
Takeoff:
we would not dare to tell the king what he thinks it means
Youngboy:
you mean to confuse me further? It is an irony most harsh that you can see the future yet deliver it in ways no less cryptic than the present! I came here to seek council not reproach and yet I leave further in shambles than when I came! I doubt not your words though sting me they do, perhaps I was hasty in accepting the Kings throne. I bid farewell for I wish to be alone.
Scene 3:
Youngboy:
It’s getting late, perhaps you’d best go to you chambers no?
Takeoff:
indeed king you are right
(right)
Offset and Takeoff:
Carti be with Ye king
Quavo:
you’ll need him
*Exit YB and migos*
*Enter Drake, revealed to have been listening*
Drake:
Get in here you fools,
While we are alone!
*Nav and Tory Lanez stumble in from their hiding places*
Drake:
You heard what just happened.
Not only is the king losing his will and unsure about his album, but the oracles have predicted doom to his reign!
Nav:
Is this where we come in big slime?
Drake:
It is exactly what we have been waiting for.
The boy is no tyrant or fool, but he is no one
to rule the kingdom. He lacks wisdom, and experience.
Tory Lanez:
Which is why he needs to be replaced.
For the good of the kingdom of course.
Drake:
Yes but how to challenge him?
His power from his rise still lingers,
And he has the love of the people!
Nav:
how could they not sir, his album was a certified hood classic
and it did bring about an era of unprecedented peace and econom-
Drake:
Silence fool! or have you forgotten your loyalty? If you’ve no ideas on how to de throne that brat then shut it.
Tory Lanez:
If I may sir,there is a man I have dealt with in the past who can grant what we seek.
I could have him for an audience within the hour.
Drake:
Very well, Nav Summon him.Let's hear what this Mr-
Tory Lanez:
Tecca Sir
Drake:
Right, what this Mr Tecca has to say
Twin Glocks
Knock on door at beat drop of song
Drake:
Proceed!
*Tory takes a knee at door*
Tory: allow me, to present the honorable scoundrel with no moral compass
*In strolls Tecca (skull topped cane) and the music changes to a 1930’s grimy Cajun swing*
Tecca:
you did fine my old accomplice
Now let’s get to the subject you want a certain child with a shiny chain to disappear don’t you? And I can tell from your lack of fear, I haven't told you? I have been here before. Many times in fact and each time it’s amazes me what an archetype I find with that gripe in mind of a dirty rotten king that left you behind. Now you don’t have to tell me but let’s roll the dice if you’ve still got the nerve, let’s discuss my price.
Drake:
you think you know me? Hah I’ve taken more lives than a OG I’ve told more lies than we’re told to me and I’ve dwelt with snakes for years. And Don’t talk about my fears. But if your fares are fair and the affair in order let’s start there.
Tecca:
I want land
Drake:
land? Done. I know better than to ask what for.
Tecca:
no need I’ll tell you, I’m opening up a casino. I’m not much of a gambler but I play a hell of a house.
Drake:
HA not so dull for an assassin
Tecca:
Oh I'm much worse than that my friend.
Drake: let’s hope
Tecca:
now tell me what you want 😉
Drake:
Im plotting on his down fall!
Nav and Tory:
ooooooh yeah!!
Drake:
I'm breaking out my flows
Nav and Tory:
O V O
Drake:
But I need something to take from king NBA
Something to get him away!
Tecca: that’s where I come in
Drake:
What's that nowww!
Tecca:
what’s happenin?
Goons:
Oh wow wow!
Tecca:
what’s up what’s up
Tecca:
Mr Graham my esteemed regards
You're an astute man but you're a grand mirage
We'll i've got something to turn his ice to shards
You can't beat his flow and you can't match his drip, but what if youngboy were to take a trip?! Ahhh
Drake:
Watch it
Tecca:
you want it easy? A clear path to the throne room? Well when I’m done the kingdom will owe you!
Drake and Nav:
damn right!
Tecca:
You take these twin glocks
Drake and Goonies:
Damn right!
Tecca:
and then you wait and see!
Goonies:
Oooh yeah!
Tecca:
and if you’ll follow me you’ll take him far from see
Drake:
taking youngboy for Ransom!?? I cant pull that one!
Goons: nooo no no
Tecca:
That's why you take The youngest one, and watch that youngboy run!
*music stops*
Drake: Ddawg
Where are you Ddawg
*Enter Main Kingdom cast*
Kanye:
Where could he be!
Chief Keef and Polo G:
Where we cant see!
Ensemble:
Oh ddawg you have left us! Oh ddawg don't forsake us
!!
Youngboy:
Tell me you saw him, oh somebody saw him, they just must have seen him I can't believe it!
Drake:
I searched all his favorite taverns and his home!!
Ensemble:
I heard him say it was because of the album
Youngboy:
Noooo this can't be
Ddawg would not leave like this!
Was this part of migo’s prophecy?
Nooo that can't be!
Ensemble:
it wouldn’t have happened if you dropped the album!
Chief:
What will you do oh big slime!
Ensemble:
Oh What can you do oh big slime!
Nav and Tory:
38 baby can't come in this state!
Drake:
Be quiet buffoons let the boy take the bait!
My King I can't help but realize
That your album has not materialized
Maybe if it was finished
Ddawg would not have vanished
Youngboy:
Yes. That's right. This is all my fault!
I am no man fit to be king
I don't belong here, in the palace of bling!
Youngboy:
I must take leave to bring ddawg back
the only explanation is he’s been kidnapped!
And the album...must wait for my searching spree.
I won’t release 38 baby 2 till Ddawg free!
*youngboy darts around the stage getting ready to leave*
*Entire ensemble musical gasp*
Ensemble:
till he’s free!
Kanye:
what a mess
Ensamble:
till he’s free!?
Drake:
too perfect, I must confess
Ensamble:
Till he’s free, free, freeeeeee!
*End song*
Scene 4:
Quando: I assure you folks my friend, uh, our king, will have 38 2 released on schedule.
Kanye:
for once the boy is right my liege we must prevent a panic. I give you my word as your general and friend that I will send the best men at my disposal and personally control them until Ddawg is found.
Drake:
the boy’s distress is profound let him take leave now or he’ll not drip well and drown!
Youngboy:
enough!
*long pause*
*looking at Kanye*
Youngboy:
You promise you’ll do everything you can, use every means at your disposal?
Drake:
surely my liege you mean reject this proposal!
*Youngboy raises a hand to silence drake(pissed off)*
Kanye:
yes sir, every means at my disposal.
Youngboy:
dismissed.
Kanye:
as you wish.
*Nav to tory*
The boss will be pissed!
Drake:
as you wish your highness.
*Lights dim as kanye and drake back away, crowd disperses, quando is left standing looking at Youngboy with worry*
*Low key piano*
Quando:
I’ve known you how many years?
Youngboy:
so many it’s not a matter of years
Quando:
im not a man of many fears but Ddawg is naive, and truthful to a fault. He’s like a younger brother to me.
Youngboy:
to us both.
Quando:
you see what I mean? let me go looking. You’d do the same.
Youngboy:
no!
Quando:
why not!?
Youngboy:
we’re not kids on 38th street anymore Quando, you are known as the kings best fiend, if you travel into the wastes you’ll be taken for ransom!
Quando:
you don’t know that!
Youngboy:
I won’t lose another friend because I can’t drop an album
Quando:
Well then we wait for Ye’s men.
Youngboy:
You know I can't do that.
Ddawg is my responsibility, and I will find him myself
Quando:
You can't be seri-
Youngboy:
You have always known better than to try and change my mind,
even before I was king
I’ll find him and I’ll bring him back, .
Quando:
Just promise that whether you find him or not, you will return to us
And Here take these clothes, they should disguise you on your journey..
Youngboy:
I promise Quando. And thank you.
*Exit Quando, Enter Drake*
Drake:
Sire, you should see this. A letter, seemingly left by ddwag.
Youngboy:
Open it.
Ddawg:
Yo Youngboy I hope this finds you well
Last night Quando drank until he fell.
He’d’ve broken his neck but a stranger caught him, told me it was his duty to serve the king and his army.
Like it or not we’re your best friends and like it or not we’re with you to the end but I’m not a kingsmen.
I want a life where I’m not best friend to the king or living meal to meal, is this life’s only deal for me? I wander through the streets so frequently and almost as commonly I’m asked “when’s 38 bay 2 coming, how long”
I don’t know!
It’s all too much. I hope you guys understand, I know Quando will.
Look, I’m going to the wastelands, I know I know they’re dangerous but I’ll wear a disguise and I’ll be careful who I
Talk to. I’m going to find out who I am apart from all this 38 2 hype. It’s like 38 street right? Watch your back, stay on track and be the first to attack.
See ya later home boy
You know the name with the most game, Ddawg.
Youngboy
Prepare the foriegn, I depart within the hour. I will have to see if I can bring that poor boy back,It's the least I can do.
Drake:
Do you think you can return youngboy?
Pardon me for speaking out of turn, but it seems like
If you can't produce and album, than there are those who would say you are unfit to rule.
I of course will support whatever your choice is your slimeness.
But consider the kingdom, the people.
Youngboy:
What they say is correct lord Drake.
I am no king, Im but a young boy.
I'm sorry I won't keep that promise Quando.
*Exit Youngboy*
*Enter Nav*
Nav:
What shall we do with the prisoner sire?
Drake:
Spill him. Discreetly. We have no need for ddawg to ever surface again.
*Exit Drake*
Scene: 5
*Enter Drake and Kanye*
Kanye:
Where is the king drake.
Drake:
Gone. To where I do not know.
Kanye:
When will he return?!
Drake:
I doubt he ever will.
I think he understands now, why he was unfit to rule.
One good album doesn't make a king.
Kanye:
What did you say to him Drake.
Drake:
Nothing he wasn't thinking himself.
We should not be grieving over the loss of a boy who played king.
You and I need to focus on the future of this kingdom.
About getting back what was signed away in the peace treaties, what is rightfully ours.
Do you forget our sacrifice? Do you forget the wars of the east and west, or the Altantan invasions?
Kanye:
I could never allow myself to forget.
But I do not boil in anger over wars of the past.
Wars that saw thousands die? And for what?
Spots on the billboard?
Drake:
Exactly, the wars became pointless once that king forced us to compromise.
We could have used his album to dominate the other kingdoms!
Luke Bryan would be hanged, Weezer exiled!
How many of our brothers died to rid the world of enemies that youngboy decided were our friends! I didn't get a say. The Dead didn't get a say!
Kanye:
And what would you have us do?
Lead the world into war again, because us old men cant escape our own failure?
Because it took what you call a boy to make the mature decision and end the bloodshed! I don't always understand the King, but I do understand when I see a good man, and youngboy is a good man! Better than you or I could hope to be after what we have done!
Drake:
If you won't rule with me.
Than I will rule without you.
*Drake and Kanye begin to battle, violently clashing as old men past their prime.
Kanye:
Give up drake, I was always the better fighter.
Drake:
You were. And that's why I needed help.
*Nav and Tory come from behind and knock kanye down*
*Quando enters the room*
Quando:
My Lords Im afraid the king-
Kanye:
Quando...The Guards now!
*Tory knocks out kanye*
Drake:
Quando. Oh Quando my boy Im so sorry.
But Kanye..
He-he poisoned the king before he could leave.
He tried to take the throne for himself. And he nearly succeeded.
No matter how far he is, youngboy im afraid has but mere hours to live.
Quando:
No...That can't be.
That simply...Can't Be!
Kanye was a friend he would never!
He could never!
Drake:
Believe me Quando.
I've known the man my whole career.
And not even I was wise enough to stop it.
I must go. A high lord who cant save the king from a man he has known for life is a lord who cannot rule.
Quando:
….No
Drake you must stay.
You almost died trying to save him.
Plus you are the only high lord we have left.
We need you to lead the kingdom.
If you will do it. Its what..
Its what youngboy would have wanted.
Drake:
What you ask is a lot Quando.
But for youngboy. For you.
I will try.
*Exit Quando*
Tory:
What do we do with the traitor my lor-King
Drake:
Let Baby and Gunna have him.
Im sure some time on ice in the eternal drip
will sort out kanye’s attitude
Drifting Slime
*Enter youngboy*
Youngboy:
Alone!
Roaming through the landscape!
A new kind of closeness with Vlone!
A mixture of fear and excitement!
Away from the pressures of home!
But then I remember poor ddawg
The one who I caused to be lost
I just should have listened to Quavo
And my closest friends paid the cost!
I deserve to wander alone!
I don't belong ruling a kingdom!
My arrogance would destroy the throne!
My Ignorance has beaten my wisdom!
So now I will walk
Looking for him
Hoping to set things right
And then we'll talk
I will send him back home
And I will still wander the night…
Youngboy:
Really Ddawg, couldn’t you have ran off to the kingdom of Indie instead?
*singing in distance*
Youngboy:
at last a tavern! Surely they know what way Ddawg went!
*youngboy enters tavern*
*Fantasy drinking song melody, pirate like*
Macklemore:
We drink to the health of our King!
Chorus:
we drink to the health of our king!
Macklemore
That he be wise in his rule!
Chorus:
that he be wise in his rule!
*youngboy smiles*
Macklemore:
But if he ventured here!
Chorus:
for his life he should fear!
Macklemore:
Well there’s a place and time for royalty but I’ve no time for royalty
They take and make the laws to boot
Then turn around and
Everyone: take our loot!
*youngboy shuffles over to the bar and tries to blend in*
Russ:
Well my names Russ and I made a livin!
*cheers*
Feeding the troops and on their misgivings
*cheers*
Then Barbarians went and took my field. And the crown did nothing, but expects me to yield?
*jeers*
G-Eazy:
My names gerald and most of you know me
*cheers*
And if you don’t pray you don’t owe me!
*cheers*
I was a banker of sorts, putting hearts in bags of course
*jeers*
But my deposits where good till my deposits where stole and the kingdom took my bank!
Chorus:
who do we have to thank!
Macklemore:
Well we drink to the health of king
Chorus:
and pray that he never comes!
Macklemore:
Well he’d be wise to follow that rule
Chorus:
no matter, he’s a royal tool!
Lil Xan:
*obviously drunk*
My name is uh.. Xan I think
*cheers*
Hey Russ, go and fetch me a drink!
*to the point!*
I ran a trap house of hoes with no blouse then the government took it away!
*Xan falls of stool and young boy catches him*
Youngboy:
It’s fair to think what you want young Xan, maybe the king doesn't care. But surely the peace and prosperity can bring pride for us all to bear?
*dead quiet, music stops*
G-eazy:
who are you?
Russ:
who are you?
Xanl:
who are you?
*The guys brandish weapons*
Bartender(Kendrick):
what do you intend to do?
*Macklemore walks over smiling nervously, and ushers the men to calm down*
Macklemore:
Nothing, nothing, it's just rare to see newcomers in this part of the waste.
Especially ones with such...exotic opinions.
*The Men walk away with Macklemore and Youngboy sits at the bar*
Scene 6:
Youngboy:
I’d offer you a drink in the way of thanks but…
Kendrick:
Not much of a drinker actually, providing a haven for these outcasts just keeps me busy in my old age. Now what brings a man like you here?
Youngboy:
what makes you think I’m any different from the rest of the riff raff?
*Youngboy buys drink*
Kendrick:
Despite what you see, I was once more than a humble barman, and I can tell someone from the capital when I see one. Not to mention that you don't seethe with the same hatred of the royal line as the drifters in here.
Youngboy:
May I have your name good sir?
You have done me service, and I like to remember folk that have.
Kendrick:
Most just call me Barman these days, but once I was known as Kendrick.
Those were different times altogether.
Youngboy:
If my memory serves me correctly, than I seem to recall that the man known as kendrick was a man of some renown. In fact he had produced some of the kingdoms most powerful albums during the great wars. So why leave to come bartend out here?
Kendrick:
The short answer, I was conflicted, misusing my influence, Im sure sometimes you have done the same. Abusing your power full of resentment? I couldn't keep living in that political world, so I took what I had and made this place, as a haven for those in the kingdom down on their luck, or struggling, the little slimes who need to eat.
Youngboy:
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s with the hatred of the crown here?
Kendrick:
Didn’t you hear em, we all lost something, whether by war or by peace someone always gets the short end of the stick.
Youngboy:
I thought the kings last album brought prosperity to the whole kingdom.
Kendrick:
38 baby? That album brought prosperity alright, as long as you're one of the sods lucky enough to live in a city or Carti forbid, the capital.
Youngboy:
so none of you are anticipating the sequel?
Kendrick:
Hah! You’re either the funniest bloke to come in here or the stupidest!
*both laugh youngboy takes a nervous drink*
Youngboy:
listen, to tell you the truth I’m in search of a friend of mine, he went missing from the capital and I’ve been searching for a few days trying every place I can find. *shows a picture of Ddawg* do you remember seeing him pass through here?
Kendrick:
Not at all mate, sorry.
Youngboy:
It’s no problem, thanks for the drink.
Bartender:
Before you go, let me tell you something.
These wastes, are strange places, the space between the genre kingdoms, between worlds. Some say that if you wander long enough, spirits of the past can show you what you seek. Of course it's only a legend.
Youngboy:
I suppose wandering is all I can do at this point.
*Lights fade to black*
Scene 7:
*Enter Main Cast, Drake speaking to the kingdom*
Drake:
As we all grieve of Youngboys loss
I will regrettably hold the throne as the only loyal high lord left
After the disgusting betrayal by Lord Kanye.
I swear to you citizens, that this kingdom shall regain the respect and strength it once commanded. No longer shall we fraternize with kingdoms that should pay us tribute.
Once again in this terrible time, we will bond together, and we will become stronger.
And for that to occur, the power of the crown must become stronger.
Chief Keef:
I know the Council has it's issues but it has always served the Kings well.
*Councillors agree*
Drake:
I don't intend to dissolve it councillor Chief Keef I only ask that it be handed less power. At times like these we must unite as one clear voice to reassure the people all is well, you surely wouldn’t want riots in the streets would you councillor?
Chief Keef:
Of course not m'lord
Drake:
Then I see no further topic of discussion, today's meeting is dismissed.
Polo G:
There is one other thing, my...King
There are reports of unrest in the outer territories, Lord blueface of criponia wishes to request that he be allowed more autonomy for his domain, they don't like that we are using their resources for your new projects, especially if these projects take us to war again. They are quite firm in their demands, and other local Lords in the outer lands are requesting the same. They also seem to call into question your legitimacy as king sire.
Drake:
Tell this “Blueface”, that the days where the king could be pushed around by minor lords are over. I will do with his kingdom what I see fit, and I will use their wealth as I wish.
The Resources of the kingdom, and it’s outer territories are to be funneled towards the creation of the album.
Chief Keef:
Will we be attempting to finish 38 baby two sire?
Drake:
Haha, no Councillor Keef, I'm afraid not.
The new Album will be my Magnum Opus.
More Life 2.
*Most exit, except Drake and Quando*
Drake:
You see my boy politicians are ravenous beasts, one must keep their wits about them to survive such a hunt.
Quando:
Surely then this castle is a jungle and I, a tasty meal.
Drake: How so?
Quando:
Well the way I see it, I am all that remains of Youngboys living legacy, to win the trust of the people one must display me above their mantle.
Drake:
Your thoughts are too morbid for a man of such youth, but perfect for a beast of the stone jungle!
*both laugh*
Quando:
He is really gone huh?
Ddawg and Youngboy both in one day!
I just can't accept it.
Drake:
I understand how you feel Quando.
I have been in the game for a long time now
And losing friends is a feeling I know too well.
Please if there is anything you need, just ask.
Quando:
Yes of course
Thank you, uh My King
Drake:
Call me Drizzy Quando
You are a friend of the Royal line
And you deserve a position as such.
How would you like to be hand of the king?
Quando:
It would be an honour my ki-uh drizzy!
Thankyou!
I won't let you down!
Drake:
We will do great things together Quando.
Great things.
Scene 8:
*Enter Jcole*
Jcole:
Youngboy is Lost
And Drake thinks he’s found
Both of them have yet to cover much ground
Our story continues with Drake at his keep
Meeting his council
While Youngboy does weep
*Exit Jcole, Enter Youngboy*
Youngboy:
I'm never going to find Ddawg.
I have to face it. I ignored the migos, and I drove him away.
Just further proof Im not strong enough to drop my album,
Let alone be king of anything.
*Youngboy wandering around a barren waste, goes to drink water but is out then he spots a withered tree, collapses against it and starts humming a tune.*
Youngboy:
perhaps I will rest here a moment
*closes eyes and begins to die*
Ethereal voice:
Youngboy
Ethereal voice:
youngboy awaken, it is not yet your time
Youngboy:
B-Bobby Shmurda? The King of the Past?
But how?
Bobby S:
It is true, I have passed on, and by carti’s grace I linger a spirit.
I have been waiting a long time for you to come to me Youngboy.
It is time you learned what every king must learn.
How to be who they need you to be.
Youngboy:
how do I know your not just a mirage?
BobbyShmurda:
I’m afraid you don’t but I know that you are real and so are the troubles that befall your kingdom.
Youngboy:
Yes, 38 baby 2 isn’t nearly ready and now Ddawg is missing because if it .
BobbyShmurda:
That is beside the point.
Youngboy:
what?
Bobby S:
You worry about your album, is it because you doubt your ability or do you doubt your ability because you worry about the album?
*youngboy visibly confused*
Youngboy: both?
Bobby S:
Your friend is gone,And I'm afraid it is worse than you thought.
Youngboy:
Whatever do you mean spirit? If ddawg is in trouble I must go to him at once!
Bobby S:
Not until you can answer my question.
Youngboy:
This is no time for games!
Tell me Bobby where is he?
Bobby S:
I believe I made myself clear, did I not?
Youngboy:
Very well. I will answer your question.
BS:
What caused the fall of Prince Juice Wrld?
Youngboy:
How am I supposed to- *sigh* okay uh well after his EP flopped his province went into a period of extreme poverty and ruin so perhaps, making a wack album?
Bobby S:
No
Youngboy:
I’ve no time for games Sir Shmurda and my patience is wearing thin. If you know where Dda-
Bobby S:
you will die
Youngboy:
What? Well Who doesn’t I suppose. But what’s that got to do with-
Bobby S:
Listen young king, if I tell you where Ddawg is you will die for you are not yet ready to face those who have taken him.
*youngboy thinks*
Youngboy:
Then teach me. Show me how to beat them.
Bobby S:
Iit will be a difficult journey and even after my training I can’t guarantee that you will succeed.
*Youngboy who was looking down as BS talked brandishes a smile*
Youngboy:
I’ve never had a guarantees my entire life. Give me your best shot.
Bobby S:
You remind me of the great king PAC at your age. He was also stubborn to a fault.
*Youngboy chuckles*
Bobby Shmurda:
and brave.
*Exit All*
Scene: 9
*Enter Drake, Quando, Chief keef, and Polo G*
Chief:
Well Drake,If you refuse to ride and meet with this “Blueface” What are we to do? He and other lords of the outer lands gain support with each passing day. Soon if nothing is done it shall come to civil war!
Drake:
These “Separatists” whether it’s Blueface, Tekashi or any others
Are just a mild annoyance. My Hittas are more than sufficient to repel any invasion from this Blueface in the West or 6ix9ine in the east! Right now the kingdom needs to focus on the development of my new album, More Life 2. And my plans for conquest of the other kingdoms.
Polo G:
The other kingdoms should be our allies, we can ask Weezer for help with these Border Rebels! Chief Keef is right Drake, W\with threats to the kingdom growing on the inside,
We need external allies or els-
Quando:
Show some respect!
Polo, Chief!
You question your new king!
You call him by name?
The King is right, we need to secure the homefront.
Without 38 baby 2 we need an album to sustain the kingdom.
Chief:
And you think that album is More life 2?!
Drake:
This meeting is over
Don't make any decisions you will regret councillors.
Quando with me.
*Drake and Quando leave*
Chief:
Hey Polo
Send ambassador stitches to the Duchy of Weezer,
Maybe he can get an assessment from them of how the outer lands are looking.
If the king doesn't care about keeping the kingdom whole then we have to do it ourselves.
Polo G:
Agreed. I just don't get it, Ddawg running away?
Kanye Killing the king?
And the only ones to see it were Drake and his cronies?
None of this makes sense.
Chief:
Drake and his toronto Goons
Are hiding something.
Ovo is up to something
Chief:
I don't like this new direction, I don't like this kind of flow
The situation reeks of mischief, how does no one seem to know
Polo G:
Drake is king, and ye is gone, having to hear new nav songs!
They're scheming with their evil drip, no ye no youngboy this is it!
Chief:
Ovo is up to something
Polo:
Nav and Tory good for nothing
Chief:
Mandatory Drip inspection
Polo:
lets teach drizzy drake his lesson!
Chief:
We need a plan, we need something to spill them
Polo:
Well there was something I think I heard them mention!
Some twin glocks that drake bought lowkey! They got ddawg for their evil scheme.
Chief:
It's just you and me we gotta make do, we save the game and maybe 38 baby 2
*Exit Chief Keef and Polo G, Enter Drake and Migos*

Gambling Games In India

Gambling games and India:

Games of chance have always attracted passionate players and the appeal of Lady Luck never seemed to dwindle. They have thrived for thousands of years, even before written history and up to modern times when we can indulge in gambling on our electronic devices without even having to walk to the nearest casino establishment. Games have changed and flourished, but the passion for playing remained the same. India is a country that boasts a rich history when it comes to gambling and still nurtures a strong passion for it in various forms and guises. That said, it’s well worth taking a glance at the origins of casino games and how and where it all began.
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Gambling stories of ancient India
The Ramayana (one of two major Sanskrit epics of ancient India) cites certain forms of games of chance believed to date back as far as 7300 BC. It describes gambling boards, believed by some to be the game of chess, as well as gambling with dice. The popular saying ‘to lose one’s shirt’, meaning to lose money, originated in ancient India. The old Sanskrit texts compare trees that have been stripped of their fruit to defeated gamblers who lost their clothes and ornaments in a wager.
While the Ramayana casually mentions gambling and does not condone it in any sense of the word, the second epic (the Mahabharata) tells a different story. The main antagonist, Shakuni, arranges a dice game against king Yudhishthira whom he cheated out of all his wealth and kingdom. When another antagonist, Duryodhana, insisted that there was no place for two crown princes in the kingdom, another dice game was arranged which ended in the exile of the royal family.
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First Gambling Devices
Buddhist texts mention Indians gambling with nuts as dice as early as 300 BC. Apart from being fond of dice, Indians developed a taste for gambling on animals. At first, ram and cockfights were all the rage which was followed by the more sophisticated horse racing later. What is interesting is that while Europeans are generally given credit for developing certain games of chance, most of the earlier versions of gambling devices had Indian symbols on them.
Further Progress
The 15th century witnessed the rise of legal gambling houses all across India. They were heavily regulated to make sure the games were fair and square so that the players would willingly submit their dues to the king. This was the beginning of the first gambling tax.
When the British introduced cricket to India in the 18th century, Indians fell completely in love with the game. Cricket paved the way for sports betting which flourished in the country until the British took over and passed the Gambling Act in 1867 which outlawed all games of chance. Although they couldn’t abolish the games which still went on in secret, India never looked favorably on gambling again.
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Present-day Gambling
The perspective of the Indian government on gambling is that it is the temptation that lures players to bet beyond their means, ruining their lives and their families. India’s 29 states and seven Union territories have the authority to decide whether to legalize gambling or not. Each state has a different legislative council and even though most of them do not support it, they do allow some forms of it, such as betting on horse races and the lottery. Since gambling restrictions are still in effect to a large extent, many have turned to online options and can choose from some of the best online casinos for India to scratch that itch. Almost 40% of internet users in the country have admitted to spending some of their time playing online casino games with no particular intention of earning large sums of money, but just to have fun and pass the time.
The history of India, which is almost 4000 years long, is brimming with amusing anecdotes of gamblers winning and losing in their favorite games. However, the future might not have as much room for such stories, since the gambling ban is still in effect. The Indian government still doesn’t trust its people to use their own judgment and roll the dice deciding their own fate. If the rules should ever change, the casino industry will be able to boost the Indian economy to a great extent. The people will enjoy their games while the country reaps the benefits. Some would say, a win-win situation.

CASINO GAMES:

There are a number of different online casino sites open for Indians to play on in 2020. With enticing welcome bonuses, a huge library of games including live casino games, more players are signing up now than ever!
However, many online casinos go beyond just a website and offer dedicated mobile apps that allow you to enjoy all features of the online casinos on the go! Check out the best online casino websites for India in 2020!
#1 – LeoVegas’ App
LeoVegas is one of the biggest online casinos in the world and contains a huge number of casino games. You can play Blackjack, Roulette, Slots, live casino games, and more on the online casino.
The LeoVegas app allows you to access more than 1,000 casino games offered by the online casino. Both Android and iOS users are covered as there are dedicated apps for both the operating systems. The user interface is designed to provide a simple and enjoyable experience for all players.
#2 – Betway’s App
Betway is one of the biggest names in the world of online casinos and betting. The site not only offers a huge collection of games in its full-fledged online casino but also offers really great odds on sporting events around the world with a great welcome bonus for new players.
The Betway app allows you to stay in touch with your adventurous self on the go and gives you access to all the games provided on the online casino. Some of the features that make the app great are its small size and classification system that lets you seamlessly switch from its three modes – Betway Casino, Beway Vegas, and Betway Live Casino.
#3 – Casumo’s App
Casumo is a modern online casino with a focus on providing a clean and enjoyable user interface to its players. In terms of game selection, Casumo does pretty well too, and provides tons of different online casino games for you to enjoy.
In keeping up with the philosophy of offering its players one of the best online casino experiences, Casumo also has a dedicated app that can be used to play all the different games offered on the site. Some of the key features of the app include a personal dashboard, automatic notifications, and easy depositing and withdrawal functions right from the app itself!
#4 – Dafabet’s App
Dafabet is one of Asia’s largest online casino and sportsbook. With sponsorships with reputed teams like Celtic FC and Fulham FC, Dafabet is a legit operator that provides an excellent casino and betting experience to players all over Asia including India.
Along with offering an awesome website that is completely responsive, Dafabet also has dedicated apps for both Android and iOS users that allow you to stay in the middle of the action always. The apps have an extremely user-friendly interface and are updated regularly to ensure the app is always fresh and secure!
Online casino apps are changing the game!
Online casinos are rising in popularity in India and since they are regulated by worldwide licenses like MGA, they’re transparent, fair, and legal! A common misconception for online casinos and their bonuses is that they need to be claimed on the website. In almost all cases, it’s possible to download the app from App Store or Google Play, sign up, and grab the welcome bonus straight from the app.
Get in touch with the speculative side of your personality with these amazing online casino apps today!
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One of my players notes that chronicle our sessions!

About 2 months worth of sessions happened before this particular player joined my game but she has been taking really great summary notes and recently sent them to me. Not all of the info is correct/names of people places spelled wrong but it’s really cool to see my players perception of what’s going on. She was absent for the last two sessions so she took notes based on word of mouth so some of those events aren’t necessarily in chronological order. It’s a long read and it might be hard to keep track of but I hope you enjoy it!
Session 1 (Oct 6th) Kit was the huntress of Queen Briand/Castle Holbrook—the queen adopted a young girl named Draya who doesn’t seem to age, even as the Queen sickens and becomes unresponsive. She’s been fleeing for a month from Castle Holbrook after witnessing horrible cult sacrifice led by Draya, pursued by hooded figures that seem immune to arrows. She’s met on the road by blue dragonborn (Saar), person dressed like a scarecrow (Skully), female aasimar in platemail (Marikiel), red tiefling in Emerald Sky Academy uniform (Neiros), tabaxi (Tazak), human bard (Robinson—I don’t think you ever met him, Chris) and a sad-looking horse (Saponlloe/Palloeson), plus a regal-looking man in merchant clothing (Gabriel) and his assorted guards. Kit blurts out the story to the group and asks them if they can help her get to Bell’s Ring for help from the wizards of the Academy. Gabriel knows Queen Briand and Draya, tells us they are coming to Bell’s Ring in about a month for a political retreat and meeting of allies. We camp on the road, notice a hooded figure with a gold fanged mask plus 9 others watching us. Their feet don’t touch the ground, and he can either see through Neiros’ invisibility or sense him by smell. Saponlloe pulls out an amulet that produces sunlight, which seems to burn them. They advance, we run to the town. Kit falls asleep in the back of their wagon, and we get to the city, where Gabriel shows a medallion to the guard for entrance and Kit is placed in the Stockade/barracks for her protection. Saponlloe reveals that he is a druid able to transform into a horse and stays with her because he feels his story is somehow connected to hers, even though he can’t remember much. The others go to the cathedral of Vertis and a library, and Robinson and Neiros stay at a different inn.
Session 2 (Oct 13th)
The Stockade is attacked during the night—the torches gutter out, the guards outside the door and right inside are slaughtered by something invisible/shadowy and the doors open on their own. A figure with a golden mask enters Kit’s locked room and recognizes Saponlloe but calls him Palloeson (“do you still feel the guilt of Reda/Retta?”), tells Kit “I won’t let you harm Draya!” and attacks, transporting the two of us to some sort of shadow realm for a round of combat. The other attackers overwhelm the guards, and even make some of the dead come back to life and fight. Tessa enters the Stockade midway through the battle and helps. After some combat, a winged demon figure with a sun emblem on his belt appears, admonishes Guilt/Corona Albright (gold mask) that this wasn’t part of the plan, and portals the two of them away to a view of a dark sky and a palisade wall, although we hold onto his mask. Marikiel is killed, Taz badly wounded and left at the cathedral to recover. Tessa tells us of her vision and her intent to join the party. Skully has a spotty memory of the letters “A_L_U_D_C_R_U_M” in some order or combination connected to his past. Saponlloe/Palloeson tells me of Reda, a young man/”Blessed One” whose murder he witnessed, and he remembers the name “Alucard” and some sort of blood moon in connection with the murder somehow with Skully’s clue. Saar collects Marikiel’s body and tells us of his plan to bring her back.
Session 3 (Oct 20th)
Saar knows of Sigmaris, a fabled city to the north where the dead can sometimes be brought back to life, and he plans to take Marikiel there. Tensions are heightened in the city, but we head to the bazaar to buy rations and warm clothes to head north. The tailor tells us of white-skinned elf living in the woods who could be a guide for us (Aedris). The gates are guarded, so Skully leads us out of the city through the sewers. We find Aedris in the woods; he tells us that his whole clan was slaughtered by someone named Rage leading the orcs/beastmen and he wants revenge in exchange for his help. We head to a nearby monastery for advice; leader tells us to try the White Drake Academy to the northwest. We travel 3 days with no interruptions, see a sign on the fourth day warning us of “greenskins” and pointing to Northshore (N), Morioh/Eagle’s Rest/White Drake Academy (W) and keep going west. We’re attacked by a group of goblins/orcs on the fifth day, and Taz is killed, but we get info from a survivor that they recognize the gold mask. Rage has one, and she now rules Baelsergo, the city of beasts to the north, and the Blood Drinkers (symbol on the orc clothing). So now we have RAGE (Aedris’ enemy), GUILT (Corona), and FEAR (Draya) connected with golden masks. We travel to the town of Morioh and sell some loot. Kit goes to the temple of Velen to search for answers, gets a vision of a dark sun from the statue at the altar. Skully and Palloeson have some more info on their amulets being keys to the Temple of the Sunwalker, somehow connected to the druids of the Dawnfire Archipelago and their enemies (evil bat druids), and the name Alucard Cruorem, who took something from the good druids. ALUCARD = Gabriel, who they were traveling with at the beginning!
Session 4 (Oct 27th)
( was only here for the last hour and a half or so, so I don’t know what happened in detail at the beginning of the session with the circus and such) We get to Eagles’ Rest. People from the party visit a circus where a woman named Belona throws herself on spikes and isn’t hurt by them. They somehow see her golden mask and decide to assassinate her because of her assumed connections to the other golden-masked figures. Something about her triggers Palloeson’s memory, and then he connects with a woman named Sara, who breeds horses, and spends time with her outside the city. Saar has reservations on killing Belona, but casts Detect Evil and is staggered by the sheer force of evil and tormented souls around her. A plan is made to silver the spikes she falls on and try to kill her. Saar sees the image of Vestis watching them in the crowd, a serial killer they killed earlier in the campaign—he puts on a golden mask and disappears. Aedris is the only one at the circus to observe, since Vestis won’t know him. Belona falls on the spikes and transforms into some immense terrible demon and murders most people in the tent, but Sara the horse breeder transforms into some sort of bright moon goddess and fights it, and they chase each other away over the hills. The party runs to the docks, steals a ship, and sails for the academy, bringing the bodies of Mary and Taz. We have to leave Tessa and Robinson behind. RAGE = Belona
Session 5 (Nov 3rd)
We sail to the peninsula with the Academy and Neiros goes off to talk to his grandmother. We know Vestis is a golden mask now, but we don’t know what corresponding emotion it is. Most of us head to the library for research, and Saar finds the Tomes of Understanding he’s been searching for. Skully finds info on the amulets and the druids of the Dawnfire Archipelago/Celestial Isles (Hircine people = eleves loyal to the god of the sun, drow = elves loyal to the god of the moon). Kit researches the next eclipse, and talks to a professor about the Celestial Isles, the druids of the Dawnfire Archipelago, and their Ritual of Ascension (meet a spirit animal in their dreams to become druids). He doesn’t know anything about the Temple of the Sunwalker or evil blood druids. We stay for a long time to let Saar and Scully read the first Tome, and Skully learns about his previous life that he can’t remember. Tessa catches up and shows us her new tattoos, which are part of the ones she had in her vision, and tells us just a bit about Galadia and her sword/her backstory. We overhear that Eagles’ Rest has requested help from the Academy against the Blood Drinkers. Palloeson communes with the Briar King and now has formidable power and a thorn-wrapped arm with a pool of blackness in his palm. We are teleported to Northshore, the closest teleport option to Sigmaris. Skully talks the lady blacksmith into silvering our weapons. We decide to camp outside after the inn owner is racist to Saar, but the orc force attacks in the night.
Session 6 (Nov 10th)
The soldiers of Northshore are heavily outnumbered; Saar, Aedris and Palloeson rush in to help, Kit follows at a distance. Skully sneaks in to get some of our weapons back and get civilians out. The three party members are knocked unconscious and taken away by a giant lizard to the NE as the townsfolk are rounded up and told to go about their business under new beastman rule. Kit runs back and tells the other of the kidnapping, they meet up with Skully, and they track them NE. The three are taken to Baelsergo and imprisoned, and the amulet is taken to Rage. Palloeson escapes, confronts Rage, and is killed. We pull off an escape plan for the rest, and get out into the woods, crossing rivers to throw off the scent.
Session 7 (Nov 17th)
We keep heading north to flee, and then realize that our plan to get to Sigmaris is foolish, especially since we no longer have the bodies of Mary and Taz. So we change course to Caspia to get Tessa where she needs to go. Skully tells us everything he learned from the Tome and that the mask and the amulet is somehow what made him a skeleton person. His name used to be Aethis, he knew Palloeson as a member of a druid council, Skully didn’t get in, and they trained and did bad things. He knew the people who are now the golden masks (Alucard = Gabriel Mercrow, FEAR = Draya Braves, GUILT = Corona Albright, RAGE = Belona, MISERY = Dresden Nabacroft, APATHY = Vestis). The area they were, the Hirstfall Islands, was hit with a plague and Gabriel’s family died, and he is mad because the islands were blockaded and he thinks that’s why they died--revenge?. We reach the Great Lake and see kobold settlements around it, build a boat, and set sail. We are stopped by Thoss the black dragon and talk our way past him, but then find out Vestis is following us. We call Thoss to help, Vestis fights him and both are badly hurt. Vestis flees and the party kills Thoss but Skully dies in the process.
Session 8 (Nov 24th)
We loot Thoss’ hoard and lay Skully and Palloeson to rest, but keep Skully’s skull and Palloeson’s briar arm and hair just in case. Vestis is back to following us and tells us that Gabriel is coming to get the amulet in 5 days, so we should just give it up. We decide to head for Caspia and head into a series of caves back towards Northshore (with some kobolds in tow), but are attacked by a roper and brains on legs. We win the fight and press on.
Session 9 (Dec 1st): first session when I am in VT and unable to play
The party makes it back to the town controlled by beasts, does some shopping, and meets with Alucard/Gabriel. They agree to give him the amulet if he shows them what he is planning with the three of them and then leaves us alone. Neiros and Saar get tattoos using the ashes of Palloeson and Skully. The group sets sail towards the Dawnfire Archipelago with Alucard. Draya torments Kit alon g the way until Tessa intercedes. Our boat is boarded by a slave trader, and we discover that Saar has been framed and is wanted for slave trading. We win the ensuing battle and take the leader’s boat, then sail to the Dawn Fire islands with Alucard’s group, fighting some elves who think we are the slavers (thus becoming the villains). The trip takes a week, and we eventually reach an island with a culture of elves. The grandmother of Erny’s new character (El o’El? Am I spelling this right?) thought it was the goddess Lunarra the whole time (whole culture deceived by Kil’Jaeden), and cannot believe they have been misled, so she sends him with us to undone what has been done.
Dec. 8th (2nd session away)
It takes three days to reach the tower from the island, a whole day for the party and Alucard’s group to climb to the top of the tower in the Dawnfire Archipelago and another day for part of the group to make their way back down into “the prison not meant to be seen”. Kit, Nieros, Tessa, stay at the top of the tower, and then go back down to hunt for some provisions. Aedris, inside the tower, finds a portal at the bottom and vanishes into the Feywild, taking the rest of the inside group with him. Gabriel and his group take the crown and bracers they were seeking and disappear, but these items were what held the prisoner in place, and he is freed. It turns out to be Kil’Jaeden, the Great Deceiver, and he is released upon the Feywild, his form that of a monstrous naga/yuan’ti. The toweportal sinks into the ground and disappears, leaving the rest of the group back at ground level fighting other snake-like creatures drawn by Kil’Jaeden’s release. We travel to Caspia by boat, with the trip taking 16 days total. The group planned to lie about being the owners of the slavery contract and have members of the crew pretend to be slaves, but thought better of it and told their guards the truth, probably saving their own lives. Tessa travels to the Hall of Contracts and writes a message to her father, who seems overjoyed to know she is back and tells her to wait for him at a fancy hotel suite. Tessa also discovers that the place she needs to visit for the next step of her journey is a tomb in the common district. The session ended with Kit, Tessa, Saar, Raymond (Travis’ new character), and Nieros in a posh hotel room in Caspia, waiting to meet Tessa’s father, and Erny’s character and Aedris off by themselves in the shopping district. They think that Tessa is in danger from her father and don’t want any part of it. (Kil’Jaeden has been out for 17 days. We know through Kit’s research at the Academy that the next eclipse, the vision of the dark sun that Tessa and Kit have both seen, is about a year away).
Dec. 15th In the back room of the Golden Sun, Tessa, Kit, Saar, Raymond, and Nieros decide to go out and do some shopping/explore the city while waiting for Tessa’s father to travel the seven days from Zweilkhad to Zanarkand to reach them. Tessa and Kit go to Latheos the clothing merchant for new, less-conspicuous outfits; loose white robes with hoods in fine material. Kit, as a paler-skinned human, stands out somewhat in Caspia, so she covers up and tries to avoid notice. Kit and Tessa also travel to the Sandy Shards weaponry shop, where Tessa translates for Kit and we buy crossbow bolts for the crossbow taken from Thoss’ hoard. Kit also spots an intricate longbow made from some flexible metallic material, which proves to be designed to take strain off of the drawer and allow for greater accuracy and damage (+1).Raymond the mercenary buys manacles, Kit buys some Caspian gold bead and jewelry, Aedris buys a new brush for Bazul, and we buy a bunch of health potions as a group from a red-skinned tiefling owner of the Fire & Fury. Shopping episode! The tiefling is teaching some children in Caspian, but Nieros and Tessa translate and we learn he is teaching a class on rudimentary elements of magic and the danger of pact bargains. Aedris is badly affected by the heat of Caspia, but borrows Raymond’s ice spear to cool himself down. He also brings most of the money looted from Thoss’ hoard to the Hall of Gold bank and creates an account/changes some into platinum for carrying ease. The group walks to the Housing District to find the statue that Tessa needs to see, but are approached by two women in gauzy purple and blue clothes asking for a good time. They hang on Aedris, Nieros, and Raymond. Raymond shoos them away, but they discovered a good portion of their gold missing. Nieros attempts to search for them, but they disappear into the crowd. When we reach the statue, it depicts a man pointing a sword missing its point to the west and slightly south (the statue of Stormscale was pointing out over the ocean to the north). Around the base of the statue a building has been put up, which appears to be some sort of small house and church meeting place. An old woman is inside, and she invites us in after Tessa explains she is on a pilgrimage as a follower of Bahamut. We head in to allow Tessa to read some historical scrolls and search the base of the statue. The scrolls have some obviously redacted/missing sections, and no mentions of Bahamut (Zanarkand is devout to Ifrit) but we learn this is a statue to Abdul Jakar, an ordinary man who led a rebellion, and he is buried in Bela Cruz. Nothing turns up on our search of the statue. Kit asks Tessa to teach her some useful Caspian phrases in our downtime, and she also finds a phrasebook in a local bookstore. The group deposits the rest of our funds into the bank in a joint account. Two members must be present to make transactions, and if no transactions are made after 5 years, they will presume the group is all dead and take the money. Nieros has a new fancy set of clothing designed. Saar and Nieros head to the Court of Ambassadors, a giant library, and Saar tries to find books on ritual magic, but instead they meet Ignis Fireseeker, the High Judge of Caspia, a huge, buff man with arrow tattoos around his eyes and a golden insignia on his belt. He tells them that the female pickpockets work for Betra’s Serpents, an immensely powerful master assassin conclave. Ignis tells them that there is a contract/bounty (50,000 g each) for them , but warns of the likelihood of death if they take it. There are rumors that the bar Caspian Nights is being used as a hideout, and their leader is The Fang. When they tell the rest of the group, Tessa reacts to the name Ignis. We name the group The Silver Dawn, and come up with nicknames, then timeskip to Tessa’ father arriving. We are escorted out of the hotel by 20 Juda-Fen (high ranking soldiers, white-skinned tieflings with gray blindfolds), then meet his caravans outside the city. Domina Highland is a tiefling with skin that is red, bordering on slighty purple, in a fancy overcoat and gold jewelry. He greets Tessa warmly, glad to see her back, and then we go as a group to meet the Emperor Tur’Koatl. The palace is immense, and the Emperor sits on a flame-shaped throne as we approach, bowing. We introduce ourselves, and he interacts with us as we do: tells Nieros that he knew of his grandmother, makes comments on Tiamat when Saar speaks, informs Kit that Caspia is at war with Ivalice, and calls Tessa “The Whore”, although Domina Highland tries to stop him. We tell him the details of Kil Jaeden’s release, and he seems pleased that Tessa told him before telling her father. He takes it as good news, and takes us on a tour around the city to greet his people. Raymond plays Kingdoms/Cappicho against the Emperor, a game that is like a combo of chess and checkers, and does quite well for a beginner. The Emperor chastises Tessa for assuming he didn’t already have the information when she attempts to explain/tell him of the danger, so she falls silent. Kit asks more about the war with Ivalice, and gets the same treatment: a bit more info (closed borders, no trade, stolen caravans), but then a reprimand. We get back to the caravans speak with Tessa’s father. She learns from him that Galadia was killed by the Serpents, hired by the Abysswaters because she spurned the marriage that had been arranged between Tessa and their son. They are the ones the sarted “The Whore”, but her mother and older sister played into it. He also tells us that he has spies in Ivalice, and Holbrook has allied itself with the two other major cities, which is strange, because they are usually sworn enemies. He also informs Kit that Queen Briand has recently passed and Draya is fully in charge. Kit passes over the information of her cult. Tessa tries to negotiate with her father over retrieving Thoss’ treasure, and we ask for the ship to be repaired/renamed
Note: if people are interested I can try to keep this going with updates. Also I’m not sure if my player who took these notes is a reddit user. If she is I will eventually give her credit for the note taking.
Edit: added Dec 15 session notes.
Edit: Add new session notes.
Dec. 22nd The group travels on the caravan towards Tessa’s home, but midway we pass a woman on the road and allow her to join the caravan (Esmeralda). We pass by a signpost with Belacruz scratched out. Several of us are startled as we notice that the caravan has suddenly shifted from three carts to two, people have shifted in looks/age, and we appear to be in some sort of timeshift. Some of the party members do not notice, or believe that everything is normal. A younger Emperor Ter’Koatl is onboard (approximately 10-15 years younger), and Tessa has become Abdul Jakar, the Chosen of Bahamut. Tessa warns Kit to not interrupt anything, but just to watch and listen to everything around us. We travel to Abdul Jakar’s village, where we are greeted warmly and a great feast is prepared. Tessa keeps up the charade of being Abdul. We are attacked at the feast by a large group of warforged. Abdul’s wife and child are slain, and just as a creature is about to kill the Emperor, Tessa/Abdul leaps in front of the blast and saves him. We suddenly pop back to our original reality, only Tessa has a new set of tattoos and is sobbing hysterically. Only some of the party are able to remember what happened. We reach the Highland home, and Tessa must greet her mother and sister, who are acidic and unwelcoming. Lissandra blames Tessa for her childish behavior and running away from home, forcing her to marry Stega’Agar of the Abysswater family and take on more family duties. Tessa apologizes, but Lissandra and her mother are unmoved. We are given rooms in the Highland’s household. The group splits up for the night, with Tessa, Kit, and Saar going to the Casino with Tessa’s father and the rest going to the library of the Highlands to do some research. The Casino group plays a few rounds of a blackjack-based game, on Domina Highland’s tab, until a strange woman comes over and offers us a bigger gamble. She pulls out a deck of cards, and tells us that if we can pull one certain card from the deck, she will pay us handsomely. Saar draws a card from the deck and gains 50,000 exp and a magical iron flask. The woman pulls a card and she and the deck pop out of existence. Tessa and Kit drink at the Casino until it is time to go home. We run into the library group, and Saar finds out that the flask is magical from Nieros. He then opens it, and a giant creature made of fire pours out, until Saar convinces it to get back into the flask. Raymond, Elowells, and Nieros stuff a bunch of books into Aedris’ bag of holding. Dec. 29th The party gathers in the Highland home the next morning and discusses the need to visit the dwarves and Draconia, and how to release Lunara from her imprisonment in the Black Temple, Kil Jaeden’s plane. We did find a book with a spell that can bring us to the Black Temple, but we are not yet a high enough level to cast it. Aedris begins to examine the six magical books that he, Saar, and Nieros grabbed from the Highland library. Saar prays to his goddess, and an eagle lands in his window and then flies off to the west. Through her hangover, Kit prays to Velen for strength and guidance. Tessa joins morning prayers with her family, and while her father is pleased to see her, her mother and sister are not. She learns that Lissandra will be marrying Stega’Agar in approximately 2 months/7 moon cycles, and that this marriage will help solidify business dealings between the two families. The party heads to the Nine Hells Academy to do some research, 2 families away from the Highland estate, a massive building of jet black stone with a sharp, jagged appearance. The library is staffed by Transmuted Horrors, twisted masses of flesh and human body parts created by Domina Experiyankas as servants. Raymond develops a permanent fear of them. While at the library, Saar researches Kil Jaeden’s plane, the Black Temple. After the God Wars the gods all chose to stay in their own planes as an act of neutrality. Saar intuits that Kil Jaeden probably switched places with Lunara somehow, willing to bide his time in the Feywild to have someone release him. Using this method, he could avoid the gods detecting him as he entered the Material Plane through the Maelstrom, breaking that neutrality. This means that Lunara truly is trapped, since gods cannot willingly leave another god’s plane. He also learns that the plane is inhabited mostly by yuan-ti and lost souls, and the Temple itself is guarded by a hydra. Kit researches Velen’s beginning and tenets—Velen and his brother Virtus were part of an adventuring party (including Dhal Ul, Leolothwyn, Perthamal, Shallisara, Drasta Stormscale, Agnizarro) who helped out in the chaos before the God Wars and rose to fame and glory. Somehow the two brothers ascended to godhood after slaying Neshrac, although the process is unknown. The group leaves the library and goes to buy some magical items (at a shop next to the smithy where Galadia worked), including a cloak of fear for Aedris. He decides to test it as we leave the shop, catching Eloells unaware and causing him to shoot a Transmuted Horror in his confusion. Bystanders cry out at the incident, and the party scatters in fear. Several party members duck into alleys, but Saar and Aedris attempt to rush past some guards and are captured and brought to the Hall of Justice. Tessa, back at the shop, explains what occurred to a guard, then goes off to find her father to speak on behalf of the prisoners. We are all brought before the High Judge, Domina Justicar. We are ordered to pay 40,000 gold (10,000 for attacking a guard and 10,000 per soul for the three souls needed to make another Transmuted Horror). We take 10,000 gold out of the bank and Domina Highland pays the other 30,000 in exchange for a 90% share of Thoss’ hoard. Tessa parts on worse terms with her family than when we started, and we walk the 16 days back to Zanarkand. We pass a caravan full of caged animals on the way, and Saar learns that the creature in the flask he received can grant three wishes, but accidentally wastes one wishing it back into the flask. Back in Zanarkand, Kit goes back to the weaponsmith where she bought her bow, learns that the material is called steelwood, and has it engraved with a stylized version of Velen’s shield and the word “sacrifice”. We get on our repaired boat and sail 13 days towards the islands of Arathaal (sp?). Tessa learns that there is a holy temple of Bahamut somewhere on the island. We see that the HIrstfall islands are ringed by a combined Caspian and Draconian fleet, not allowing other ships close. Saar communes with Palloeson’s soul, and it does answer his three questions about the inhabitants of the island, but it appears to release him from some sort of prison and his oily black horse form gallops towards the island. It leaves large puddles of blackness on the ship that swallow anything thrown into them and causes necromantic damage. Saar uses one wish from the djinn to wish the souls of Tazak, Marikiel, and Aethis/Skully peace, and tries to include Palloeson, but his soul does not respond. He uses the final wish to wish us capable of handling the threat that is Kil Jaeden. Kit has a vision in her seasickness of “our party” (viewing this as Velen) holding a black crystal with a red center. I stab my brother and pour his blood over the crystal, and then do the same to myself, and my vision goes to black. We make our way to the island Palloeson ran towards to find a giant black ooze where a building once stood, and some of the party follow the horse’s black hoofprints to a hill. Saar traps Palloeson in the now-empty flask, and they battle the Briar Knight and his briarbeasts, barely escaping with their lives.

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