Rachel Schneider
ENG 477
Date 1/11/2021
Marsha Blackburn
A Writing Portfolio
I want to write my own fiction stories one day; I have had a book or two swimming around in my head so I will put the computer to good use and get that typed out one of these days. In this instance I chose my 5 stories and even though one is a marketing inquiry I had fun writing it, so here are my things and some background some of them.
Resume: It is a basic one because my photo ones were not particularly good, and this is an honest resume besides the ones I made for class and I did fudge on those.
Cover letter: I made up the cover letter though there is a penguin Books but it is always fun to use your imagination!
Hike with Drew: I got the concept from a Writer’s Digest and entered it into a contes I never got a response but good practice.
Short Story Vegas: Was one I did for another class but in here I changed it and the story was much better the second time.
Marketing Flyer: This was fun to do those are stock photos of the dogs and squeaky toys, but I like Pit Bulls and dog toys are fun as well.
Scott part 1-This is a story I am working on with another writer, warning its very sexy and some naughty words are in there as well.
Writing Samples: I made these three samples up one day because as I have looked for writing work, I have seen people want a sample of your work, so I came up with these.
Rachel
Schneider
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3867 Houghton Ave Riverside CA 92501 📷
951-743-8911 📷
[email protected] 📷
Rachel Schneider 📷
Rachel7Tori-Twitter 📷
📷
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Objective
To get a career going in the fiction/short story writing industry my imagination can run with any scenario and to write is to live.
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Education
Bachelor of Arts in English | Grand Canyon University
2017 – 2021
Took 15 different writing courses, creative writing and even two fun marketing classes all to polish up my craft. Carried a 3.0 GPA and did the courses all online as well.
No Degree Obtained | Riverside Community College
June 1994 – December 1996
Took these college courses but did not finish got 32 Units of Child Development Courses though which is what I was going for
📷
​
Experience
Cafeteria Worker 1
2008 Currently Employed.
Cook, Prep, serve food in a middle school setting, also clean, count inventory and do next day prep, cash handling and POS register experience.
Bell Ringer | Salvation Army
November 2007 – December 2007
Rang bell and collected donations for the salvation Army in front of various stores during the holiday season.
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Skills
Food handlers Card
CPR First Aid certified
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Grammar Proficiency
Spelling Proficiency
Can work from home
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Activities
Have good use of social media and can help update or bring in new followers with my creative writing side. Have a Reddit account as well with 30 stories up on that site. Can speak a little Spanish and Hebrew as well.
951-743-8911
[email protected]
3867 Houghton Ave Riverside CA 92501
​

Rachel Schneider

Writer

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Penguin Books

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Dear JENNIFER MCGREGOR,

1/21/2021
Jennifer McGregor
Fiction Publisher
4587 Tropicana Rd.
Las Vegas NV 89102
​
I have included my resume for the short story writer for young adult novels. It has been a few years, but I currently work in a middle school, so I do see all the angst and sass that goes with being a young teen. I do hope my writing samples can help me move to the top of the list. I look forward to working with Penguin Books and letting kids know being a teen is hard at first, but it does not last forever.
Sincerely,
Rachel Schneider
Rachel Schneider
3867 Houghton Ave
Riverside CA 92501
It had been a long cold winter Drew and I could not get out for a morning hike till today. Being 75 degrees, we did not have to wear many layers. He is an extremely sweet inquisitive boy who always asks a lot of questions. Why does moss grow on the north side of trees” he asks? Its times like this when it would be nice to have my husband here, but he is overseas where the work is. “well, it’s not just the north side it’s on the shadier side because that is where the moisture is.”
On we went looking at snails on the ground watching the deer pass by along a ridge. Being quiet as to not startle them. “Mom he whispered it’s a bunny den they are coming out for food, he leaves a few carrot and lettuce scraps from last night’s dinner. I walked down the path and spotted some glorious Blue Jays and a Downey Woodpecker. “Listen Drew the woodpecker is getting the bugs out of the trees.” My sweet Drew was staring at the Bunnies, they are cute and fluffy after all. We followed our path down further after the bunnies went back to the den.
The skies were getting cloudy, so I hoped the rain was not going to come back. Though the weather report said there was a chance. My little explorer with his school uniform on was undeterred, I wish I could wear shorts on a 75 day and not be cold, it is always nice to be young. Walking along our path we spot some squirrels running in circles around the tree. “Why do the chase each other like that” Drew asks. “Maybe it’s a game for them like ring around the Rosie.”
On we trek to our favorite stream where the deer family are taking their drinks. I tell Drew we cannot skip stones right now we do not want to scare them. We look through the grass for more of his favorite bugs, saw some worms just below the dirt by a tree. Looking up we see a big spider web being made between two branches. The crows were making their calls in the distance. We are finally able to skip our stones in the stream. He gets some great skips going, and we collect some new rocks for our little garden back home.
Walking past the stream we climb up the embankment and up along the ridge where we see a Fox off in the distance. He or she walks the opposite direction we are going so it is a relief we can continue to the clearing. Where there are more bugs, rocks, and Bunnies. We pass the Deer family as they run up the hill to were, they mostly frolic or maybe they live up there. We stop for a snack of Apples, Almonds, and some cheese sticks. When we were finished Drew put a couple of slices in his pocket to feed the Bunnies, I am sure.
“Mommy we’re getting to the clearing now we can see the Bunnies and the last time Daddy, and I were here I got some neat rocks too.” Drew told ne enthusiastically, I did love his passion for nature, though again my husband is much better at the nature stuff. I am a pastry Chef ask me about desserts and I am your woman, about why moss grows on trees and hello Google. Since Dad is unavailable, I step in and let him explore and see the world outside of the house and off the screen.
It is just another half mile and it is on to the clearing. He starts to pull me hand a little harder I know he is excited. We pass under the tree I glance up and see the Fox again. Then we stop and see “Daddy home……
Name: Rachel Schneider
Course: ENG 361
Date: 4/14/2020
Instructor: Debbie Graves
One Week In Las Vegas
The countdown started Friday at 2pm I got the week off from this thing I call a job (just over broke). The car was packed, it was time to hit the road. The traffic was average and climbing the Cajon Pass was not that bad. I stopped in Baker to have my favorite meal at Bob’s Big Boy, the chili spaghetti, no onions. After making my way back on the highway the traffic picked up going out of Baker, through to Primm and Stateline. I had to stop for gas at Whiskey Pete’s, so I also went in and got some snack goodies. My favorite trail mix and some cheese potato chips because vending machines are too expensive. The road was beckoning so off I went, traveling through Jean is always nice, not much to see. A prison, a few remaining casinos, some outbuildings, and a truck stop. There slogan was always fun 40 smiles closer than Vegas. You can get bored so be sure to pack some music you can have your own car concert. “I’ll face it with a grin I’m never giving in, on with the show” (Show Must Go on by Queen)
Finally, the Vegas skyline is in sight, the lights are not on yet, but they will be needing to navigate around the strip. I do say a few words the terrible drivers. This vacation was so needed my job is crazy, my kids are older now and do not need mom around anymore. Off they went to grandma’s house and I booked the week at the Delano, it is attached to the Mandalay bay so perfect access to all the fun of the strip, and just enough luxury to not look cheap. Getting the valet to take the car I check into my genuinely nice room I have a great view of the Luxor light (that comes off the top of the hotel) and the Excalibur. Now off to indulge in that genuinely nice bathtub and get some overdue reading done. My bathroom with a view has the Luxor light and that is the brightest light on the Vegas strip it comes right out of the top of the Pyramid shaped hotel. A brightness of 42.3 billion candela, you could read a paper from 10 miles straight up if you wanted to.
Once I was well soaked and finished with my chapters it was time to find something to eat besides my snack foods. After cruising the room service options, I settled on some Mexican food of chorizo and eggs with nice corn tortillas. That hit the spot so with the extra energy it was time to get out for a stroll of the property. The indoor pool is nice but small and I want to soak up the sunshine and get some exercise so I shall hit the outdoor pool tomorrow. Back in the lobby I grab those ads for things to do in the city so I can plan out the rest of my trip. There are thousands of things to do in Vegas. Do not be disappointed if you do not get everything done, that is what the next trip is for. I have a beautiful week and I want to have a good time and not have to wait for anybody, I can do what I want. I got those and cruised up through the lobby and toward the casino on my way there I saw a sign for a food and wine festival. With that guy Zac from the travel channel. Thinking hmm I did not know he was interested in food or wine. I went down and found my favorite penny slot game Lucky cat. After 15 minutes I came out putting 20 in and winning 500, so I called it a night and went to the bar to catch a hockey game and grab a fun fruity drink (I like tequila sunrise, (Tequila, grenadine, and cranberry juice). As I am rooting for the Golden Knights (local Vegas hockey team) I looked over to my left and there was Zac from the travel channel, and he likes hockey too this is awesome, and I am trying not to be a fan girl.
The game was in intermission and the Knights were winning so it was time for a new fruity drink so this time I turned around to get back to the bar and bumped right into Zac, boy was my face red. After some apologies and an offer to buy my next fruity drink (a Strawberry Daiquiri) it was a yes and I spilled that I was a fan. He told me he does have an interest in food and wine not just chasing ghosts with his crew. We had some great conversation and when the game came back on, we both sat in the booth cheering the golden knights to their victory. Now I am buzzed and standing up was going to be fun, but Zac was a true gentleman and helped me to my feet. He offered to buy me dinner. The Taco Hut was a good place the tortillas were fresh, and the company was so cool. The conversation turned to food, wine, travel, and some stuff about me. The midnight hour rolled around, and Zac had an early morning, so we said goodnight, but he was staying one floor above me, so we agreed to go to the diner in the lobby for breakfast or brunch. At 10am I was enjoying my company and this great stick to your ribs breakfast (scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns and some great watermelon) The food offerings in Vegas are so varied you can get everything from a hot dog and beer for 1.99 at the Orleans, to a 5-star meal at Caesar’s Palace the buffets are great too. Although sometimes you want a nice sit-down dinner.
The conversation was effortless the attraction was deep. We made plans to see each other again after the food contest he was judging was over. Saying goodbye was a bit hard but the hand holding was sweet and made me feel like a schoolgirl again. After saying goodbye and I did watch him walk into the convention hall I went back to my room to plan out the rest of my day. I chose a tour of the Mob Museum, they say that Vegas was built with Mob money, but it was a Mormon founded town that later Hollywood discovered. Then many people in Hollywood who were well connected (such as East Coast mobsters) financed Bugsy Segal to build the Flamingo Hotel. As I was putting my shoes on, I got a knock on the room door and as I opened it, I got some flowers (pink roses) and an all-access pass to the food and wine festival courtesy of Zac. Let us just say the Mob Museum can wait for later I got to go to a food and wine festival and spend the rest of the week with Zac. “hi Zac thanks for the flowers it was sweet of you to remember.” He said, “It’s always right to remember a ladies flower preference because that’s the right thing to do.” Smiling the rest of the day I meet other travel channel celebrities and got to taste some great foods and many different wines. The food and wine offerings at the hotels and restaurants are varied, the Las Vegas area have become very international, so the varieties are endless.
The week went by in a blur of food, wine, conversation, and some sweet dates. I never thought I would get over the break-up that happened the week before. Getting a private Vegas tour was something completely special. I did get to see the Mob Museum, Mandalay Bay Fine Art Museum, seven magic mountains, Pinball Hall of fame and a private dinner at the food and wine festival. My days in Vegas were down to one. We had reservations at Rivera right here at the Delano the view is amazing, the food is impressive with Italian and French offers. “I have had a wonderful time this week Zac thank you for mending my broken heart.” He looked at me for a minute and said, “it’s been a pleasure to get to know you and I would not mind visiting your hometown, you always have a reason to come back to Las Vegas. The next food and wine festival is around Christmas, this one will include chocolate.” Hitting the 15 early the next morning I have visions of Christmas, a pass to the food and wine festival, also a brand-new relationship to take back home with me.
The End
When writing a short story, you want to keep it from rambling and have enough details to keep it fresh. When your reader gets into the story you want them to feel like they are there with you, going to the food and wine festival, on that hike through the seven-mountains or touring the mob museum. The details are the thing to see and make sure to watch out for punctuation and common language. An average short story is within 6,00 words or 24 pages. If you wanted too you could go short-short story and that is between 500 and 2,00 words. That comes out to be 6 pages (Minot, Steven Ch. 7 pg. 41), talk about short stories. The story is all your length and style matter as much as how you want it to come into focus.
Minot, Steven and Theil Daniel Three genres the writing of literary pose, poems and plays Ninth edition Pearson Publications 2012
Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium
August 18,2019📷📷
24755 Holly Grove Way
Brookings OR, 97415
Dear Dogs, Rule the World
I am Rachel Schneider from the Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium we make extra bouncy dog toys for our furry friends. We investigated different marketing companies and choose you to do our direct to customer marketing. The way the website is set up the customers can get the product’s directly from you is easier than a multi-level marketing plan. The distribution of Bouncy Dog Toy will be a one level channel, we will provide the toys you market, and we sell them. I would like to get some videos of our company dogs Mac and Stella playing with the toys so you can post on the website. A link for the company can also be included so the consumers know where the toys came from, what they are made of and any other facts about Bouncing Dog Toy Emporium.
Sincerely, Rachel V Schneider
Mac and Stella company dogs and testers 📷
📷 📷📷 📷A sample of our products, our bounciest toys.
Scott’s Story Part 1
I am Scott Thorn, and I am going back to WDU for the first time in 15 years, I went here for a year but after I came out as gay there really were no gay dudes. I am all men but yeah lesbians were all around some BI guys but no real gay dudes. I went back to the mainland and attended Preston University I majored in administration and minored in Literature. I did at one point in my life have a girlfriend and wanted to marry her, but I could not quash the gay lifestyle. That part of my life is over and now the old school offered me a counseling job, have not done this in a while. I get to help students toward there after college career.
I sit here on this boat and keeping an eye on my 75 Triumph I have some nerves, but it is mostly about seeing this place again, so as the boat pulls up, I get my bike going and make a stop at my new on campus apartment. Its west facing because I like sunsets more than sunrise, so I did not know it needed so much work. I have some handy skills but a little at a time. The kitchen is decent and so is the bathroom. The floors will need some polish and the deck needs to be stained, this is a duplex, so I hope the neighbors are quiet. It is furnished and done nicely so I cannot complain too much, but back on the bike to see the Dean.
I get my bike set with the kill switch and walk up the way to the Admin building, I am pretty much the only one dressed. I am wearing my good black jeans and my dress shirt, in my favorite color Maroon. I do remember this place was obsessed with sex so I will stick out wearing clothes, as I enter the building at least more admin people are dressed. Miss Grant the secretary shows me to my new office, its spacious much bigger that my last one at Preston where I shared a cubicle with another person. I have files from past students and current ones, so I started filing them when Dean Kane walks in, booty shorts and a tank top. “Welcome back to WDU Scott, we look forward to seeing you succeed you come very recommended.” I could hardly concentrate because this Dean was hung but I persevered and said, “Thank you sir I look forward to helping young students find there after WDU careers.”
After he left, I had to get my rise to settle then I continued filing and looking through some files. Clarissa Love that was a name that got around even all the way to Preston. I think she does the Jax in the bedroom or something like that. I started looking around and thought I need some life in this office so I asked Miss Grant about decorating and she said I could do what I wanted but no painting, so I went to town and checked out a flea market. I found some pictures of the beaches of Canada, some old homes in the area and a few movie posters from Rocky horror Picture Show (it is my favorite). The flea market said they will deliver to the school tomorrow so I told them I will be there at 9am.
Now with my day done I get to the store to buy some groceries and realize this place uses sextons and I was down to my last few, so now I will need to exchange but thankfully a bank is nearby so I can get some of my mainland money exchanged. I pull up to my new pad off load my few groceries and notice some other tenant left beer in the fridge, talk about luck. I got the beer went to the deck and watched the sunset over the sky. It was going to be new here, but I needed a fresh start after getting dumped and losing the job because my ex was in upper management, never will I do that again. I will find someone who does not work in the school system. After I ate a roast beef and cheddar sandwich for dinner, watched some cooking shows it was time for bed. As I was brushing my teeth, I heard the neighbors having sex. Oh, goody they are not quiet. hope they do not have super energy either. Tomorrow is my first full day and I have decorating to do, fantastic they stopped, that is the thing with us older people we do not fuck like bunnies anymore. As far as I know the neighbors are lesbians so who knows.
Sample 1- If I try my hardest, I could muster up enough courage to ask the prettiest girl in school to prom. I had a suit; bolo tie and I will shine my old boots up. The thing is my courage is not as strong as my best friend Nick, now there is one brave dude who just asked the girl I wanted to go to prom with and of course she said yes. I gather myself close my locker and put on my best smile for them both. Nick and I high five and I hug her, trying to be genuine but it is hard. I head to my Social studies class and sit down next to Megan she looks at me with some concern I tell her what happened, she then asks me to Prom…...
Sample 2-Wishing I did not have to be here I sit at the back of the funeral and think about my old high school principal. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew everyone, we only had one school and you went there for kindergarten through senior year. After my graduation I packed up my old car and headed out to what I thought was the real world. Living in a bigger city only helped spur my loneliness so who says you cannot come home again, well Mom for starters because I abandoned my family, I am not welcome at home ever again (so tired of her drama), so I am staying at Principal Mason’s house yes, the same principal that I am at a funeral for I held her hand as she lay there succumbing to cancer……
Sample 3-If you really want to get over a breakup getting back on the horse will help things along. I thought that too seven lousy dates ago so here I am on date number 8 and I am not seeing any birds singing or rainbows in the sky. He steps away to take a call he is a particularly important lawyer after all (I need to fix my picker) after he comes back, he says it go time the jury has come back so off he goes. I finish my drink and head back to my brownstone close by, I pass the new chocolate shop that just opened, and I get inside and see chocolate heaven. Looking around I do not see him at first but there he is my old college lab partner Sam I just saw a rainbow…….

Part 3 in the COVID series.
To try and make this list more helpful, I have added Weekend Day and Weekend Night, as those can be vastly different than during the week.
I'm trying to monitor Twitter and the Vegas Message Board to get some additional information.
Keep sharing all that wonderful goodness.
I'd like to update the wiki to talk about what sidebets casinos have, so if you know that info, I can add it to the table comments.

Vegas Strip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Aria	10	10	Unknown	Unknown	No	Updated 7/26
Ballys	10	15	10	Unknown		3 tables Updated 8/8
Bellagio	10	25	Unknown	Unknown	Yes, all tables
Caesars	15	25	Unknown	Unknown	No
Cosmo	15-25	50-100	Unknown	Unknown
Encore	10	10	10	10	Yes, on some tables	Updated 8/12
Excalibur	10-15	15	10	15		Updated 8/12
Flamingo	15	15-25	Unknown	25		Updated 8/8
Harrah's	15	25	25	25	No
Linq	15	15	Unknown	25	No	Updated 8/8
Luxor	10	10	15	15n		Updated 8/12
Mandalay Bay	15	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown
MGM Grand	10	25	Unknown	Unknown	Yes
NY/NY	10	15-25	15	Unknown	Yes	Updated 8/8
Osheas	Unknown	15	Unknown	Unknown
Paris	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No	Updated 8/8
Sahara	5	10	10	10		Updated 8/15
Strat	Day	10	Unknown	10	25	No
Treasure Island	5	15	Unknown	Unknown
Venetian	10-15	25	Unknown	Unknown	No
Wynn	10	10	10	10	Yes, on some tables	Updated 8/12

Downtown Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Binions	5	10	Unknown	Unknown		Binions had $5 table several times (opens at noon) Updated 8/17
California	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Tables open at 11AM Updated 8/10
The D	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	No glass
Downtown Grand	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Table opens at noon. Updated 8/10.
El Cortez	10	10	10	10	Yes, some tables	2 tables Updated 8/15
Four Queens	10	10	10	10	No	Updated 8/15
Fremont	10	10	10	Unknown		Updated 8/10.
Golden Gate	10	15	Unknown	Unknown		Updated 8/18
Golden Nugget	10-15	10	Unknown	Unknown		$15 with one table open on 8/18
Plaza	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Updated 7/30
Sams Town	15	15	Unknown	Unknown		1 table

Offstrip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Aliente	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Boulder Station	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Cannery	5	5	Unknown	Unknown		up to 2 tables - now allowing 4 per side
Ellis Island	5	5	5	5		1 table - Updated 8/17 - I just called the pit at Ellis. Craps table opens up at 10am and its 5 dollars 90% of the time
Gold Coast	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Green Valley Ranch	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		2 tables open
The Orleans	10	25	Unknown	Unknown		up to 4 tables, I was asked to wear a mask
Palace Station	10	10	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown
Palms	N/A	N/A	Unknown	Unknown		No open date announced
Red Rock	10	15	15	Unknown		Updated 8/14
South Point	5	5	5	10	No	Updated 8/15
Strat	5	10	Unknown	Unknown
Sunset Station	5	5	Unknown	Unknown

Other NV Casinos	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Edgewater (Laughlin)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Harrahs (Laughlin)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	no
Atlantis (Reno)	5/10	5/10	Unknown	Unknown		3 tables on weekends
Cal Neva (Reno)	5	5	Unknown	Unknown
Circus Circus (Reno)	Closed	Closed	Unknown	Unknown		Closed table game pit
Eldorado (Reno)	5	10	Unknown	Unknown
Grand Sierra (Reno)	15	15-25 Unknown	Unknown
Peppermill (Reno)	5	5	10	10	3 craps tables
Silver Legacy (Reno)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Hard Rock (Tahoe)	5	5	Unknown	Unknown
Harrahs (Tahoe)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Montbleu (Tahoe)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown
Nugget (Wendover)	5	5	5	5		Updated 7/31
Peppermill (Wendover)	5	5	10	10		Updated 7/31
Rainbow (Wendover)	5	5	10	10		Updated 7/31

Non/NV Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Wind Creek (Wetumpka, AL)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown		4 to a table Updated 7/31
Sycuan (San Diego, CA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Masks required
Barona (So Cal)	10	15	10	10-15		2 tables 2 per side, dealers managing bets for players. Updated 8/21 ($10 at times)
Harrahs (So Cal)	15-25	15-25	15-50	15-50	No	Updated 7/31
Viejas (So Cal)	N/A	N/A	Unknown	Unknown		No live tables
Foxwoods (CT)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown
Mohegan (CT)	15-25	25	Unknown	Unknown		2 were 10, 2
Harrington (DE)	15	15-25	Unknown	Unknown		Must wear mask and face shield
Rivers (Chicago, IL)	15	15
Blue Chip (Michigan City, IN)	5	10	Unknown	Unknown		5 minimum prop bets, 5 min ATS bet.
Caesars Southern IN	10	15	15	25		Updated 8/5
French Lick Resort (French Lick, IN)	15	15	25	25		Tables open at 11am and close at 3AM. Updated 8/5
Harrah's Hooiser Park (Anderson, IN)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Indiana Grand (IN)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	No
Belle (Baton Rogue, LA)	5	10	Unknown	Unknown		one half sized table sometimes they open the big one. $5 small table and $10 big late at night
Hollywood (Baton Rogue, LA)	5	10	Unknown	15		Updated 7/24
L’auberge (Baton Rogue,LA)	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No
L’auberge (Lake Charles,LA)	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No	1 bubble craps $5 min
El Dorado (Shreveport, LA)	10	10	10	10		Updated 8/17
Horseshoe (Shreveport, LA) 15	15	15	15		Updated 8/17
Margaritaville (Shreveport, LA) 15	15	15	15		Updated 8/17
Ocean Downs (MD)	10	15		Unknown	Unknown
Maryland Live (MD)	25	50	50	Unknown	Yes	5 tables, 4 per side. Electronic craps 15 min
MGM @ National Harbor	50-100		Unknown	Unknown	Yes	4 craps tables 2 were $50 and 2 were $100 mins. Not bubble craps or low roller options.
Firekeepers (Battle Creek, MI)	10	15+	Unknown	Unknown	No dividers, only distancing	1-2 tables depending on demand, did see it at $15 during the day $25 on Fri/Sat night. Masks required, no smoking. $3 Bubble Craps.
Four Winds Casino	15	15	Unknown	Unknown		Digital craps table 5$ min Tuesday and Sunday night. Did not check bubble craps
Gun Lake (Wayland, MI)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	No	Temp check, masks, usually the crapless table is open
Turtle Creek (Traverse City, MI)	5	Unknown	Unknown	Unknowned		2 tables, temp check, masks
Soaring Eagle (Mt Pleasant, MI)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	Yes	5 players per side with glass. Tough to hear dealer.
Hollywood Casino, Maryland Heights (St Louis) MO	15	15	Unknown	Unknown		1 regular table & 1 no craps. 4 per side. No outside drinks.
River City (St. Louis, MS)	20	20	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	4 players per side. $20 min. You have to have at least a $20 bet for every throw to "hold your spot"
Beau Rivage (Biloxi, MS)	25	25	Unknown	Unknown	unknown	3 tables
Boomtown (Biloxi, MS)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	1 table
IP (Biloxi, MS)	25	25	Unknown	Unknown
Scarlett Pearl (Biloxi, MS)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown	No	Masks required, temp check
The Palace Biloxi, MS)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown
Treasure Bay (Biloxi, MS)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Harrah’s Cherokee & Murphy	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No
Harrahs River Valley (Murphy, NC)	25	25	Unknown	Unknown
Ballys (AC, NJ)	15	15	Unknown	10		Updated 7/29
Caesars (AC, NJ)	15	15	Unknown	15-25		Updated 7/29
Harrahs (AC, NJ)	15	15	Unknown	Unknown
Hard Rock (AC, NJ	15	25	Unknown	Unknown		2 tables - Updated 7-29
Resorts (AC, NJ)	15	25	Unknown	15	Yes	1 table - Updated 7-29
Ocean (AC, NJ)	10	15	15	25	Yes	4-6 tables
Buffalo Creek (NY)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown
Seneca Niagra (NY)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown		1 table, can go up to $25
Jack/Harrah's (Cincinnati, OH)	25	25	25	25		3 tables, $25 open to close
Hollywood (Columbus, OH)	10-15	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	2 tables, masks required
Hollywood (Grantville, PA)	15	25	Unknown Unknown	Unknown		2 tables, masks required
Harrah's Philly (PA)	Unknown	Unknown	15	25		Updated 8/10
Meadows (PA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		2-3 tables.
Mohegan Sun (PA)	Unknown	Unknown	25-50	Unknown
Windcreek (PA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Mount airy (PA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Valley Forge (PA)			10
Parx (Bensalem, PA)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown		15 but maintaining 25
Southland Casino Racing (West Memphis, TN)	N/A	N/A	Unknown	Unknown	Yes	4 tables all closed. Other pit games open with plexiglas dividers. Bubble craps $5 minimum.
Mardi Gras (Nitro, WV)			15			Usually open on weekends - Updated 7/28

*Last update 8/21
Part 1. It's getting buried so I figured we would make a new one. Part 2
Pulled additional info from here.

The previous post is here. It's getting buried so I figured we would make a new one.
Keep reporting those minimums:

Vegas Strip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Aria	10	10	Yes
Ballys
Bellagio	10	25	Yes, all tables	)May be lower on weekday nights, $15 has been seen) Poker tables open
Caesars	15	25	No	Poker tables open
Casino Royale	N/A	N/A	N/A	Table Games not open
Cosmo	15/25	50-100
Encore	50	100	Yes, on some tables	Reports of $10 tables during the day
Excalibur	10-15	15		10 crapless, 15 regular
Flamingo	10-15	15-25
Harrah's	15	25	No
Linq	10-15	10-15	No
Luxor	10	10
Mandalay Bay	N/A	N/A
MGM Grand	10	25	Yes, all tables
NY/NY	10	15-25	Yes, all tables
Osheas	Unknown	15
Paris	10-15	15	No	Opened 6/18 - Masks required at tables.
Planet Hollywood	N/A	N/A		No open date announced
Rio	N/A	N/A		No open date announced
Sahara	5	10
Strat	Day	10	Unknown
Treasure Island	5	15
Venetian	10-15	25	No
Wynn	25-50	50-100	Yes, on some tables	Updated 6/16

Downtown Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Binions	5	10		Binions had $5 table several times with little to no social distancing
California	10	10		From 7/15 on Vegas Message Board
The D	10	15	No glass
Downtown Grand	10	10		Checks your temperature before letting you into casino, also NO valet, self-park only.
El Cortez	10	10	Yes, some tables	2 tables
Four Queens	10	10	No	From 7/16 on Vegas Message Board, Four queens had a $5 table in the morning on saturday
Fremont	10	10		From 7/15 on Vegas Message Board
Golden Gate	10	15		From 7/14 on Vegas Message Board
Golden Nugget	10	10		From 7/15 on Vegas Message Board
Plaza	10	10
Sams Town	15	15		1 table

Offstrip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Aliente	10	10
Boulder Station	10	10
Cannery	5	5		up to 2 tables - now allowing 4 per side
Ellis Island	5	5		1 table
Gold Coast	10	10
Green Valley Ranch	10	10		2 tables open
The Orleans	10	25		up to 4 tables, I was asked to wear a mask
Palace Station	10	10	Unknown
Palms	N/A	N/A		No open date announced
Red Rock	10	15
South Point	5	5		2-3x tables w/ only one $5 buy in
Strat	5	10
Sunset Station	5	5

Other NV Casinos	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Edgewater (Laughlin)	10	10
Harrahs (Laughlin)	10	15	no
Atlantis (Reno)	5/10	5/10		3 tables on weekends
Cal Neva (Reno)	5	5
Circus Circus (Reno)	Closed	Closed		Closed table game pit
Eldorado (Reno)	5	10
Grand Sierra (Reno)	15	15-25
Peppermill (Reno)	10	10	3 craps tables
Silver Legacy (Reno)	10	10
Hard Rock (Tahoe)	5	5
Harrahs (Tahoe)	10	10
Montbleu (Tahoe)	10	15

Non/NV Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Foxwoods (CT)	15	25
Mohegan (CT)	10-50	10-50		2 were 10, 2 $15, 1 $25, 1 $50. Plus a high rollers table
Harrington (DE)	15	15-25		Must wear mask and face shield
Blue Chip (Michigan City, IN)	5	10		5 minimum prop bets, 5 min ATS bet.
Harrah's Hooiser Park (Anderson, IN)	10	10
Indiana Grand (IN)	10	15	No
Belle (Baton Rogue, LA)	5	10		one half sized table sometimes they open the big one. $5 small table and $10 big late at night
Hollywood (Baton Rogue, LA)	5	10		one half sized table sometimes they open the big one. $5 small table and $10 big late at night
L’auberge (Baton Rogue,LA)	15	15	No
L’auberge (Lake Charles,LA)	15	15	No	1 bubble craps $5 min
Harrahs (Shreveport, LA)	15	25
Margaritaville (Shreveport, LA)	25	25
Ocean Downs (MD)	10	15
Maryland Live (MD)	25	50	Yes	5 tables, 4 per side. Electronic craps 15 min
MGM @ National Harbor	50-100		Yes	4 craps tables 2 were $50 and 2 were $100 mins. Not bubble craps or low roller options.
Firekeepers (Battle Creek, MI)	10	15+	No dividers, only distancing	1-2 tables depending on demand, did see it at $15 during the day $25 on Fri/Sat night. Masks required, no smoking. $3 Bubble Craps.
Four Winds Casino	15	15		Digital craps table 5$ min Tuesday and Sunday night. Did not check bubble craps
Gun Lake (Wayland, MI)	10	15	No	Temp check, masks, usually the crapless table is open
Turtle Creek (Traverse City, MI)	5
Soaring Eagle (Mt Pleasant, MI)	10	15	Yes	5 players per side with glass. Tough to hear dealer.
Hollywood Casino, Maryland Heights (St Louis) MO	15	15		1 regular table & 1 no craps. 4 per side. No outside drinks.
River City (St. Louis, MS)	20	20	Unknown	4 players per side. $20 min. You have to have at least a $20 bet for every throw to "hold your spot"
Beau Rivage (Biloxi, MS)	25	25	unknown	3 tables
Boomtown (Biloxi, MS)	10	10	Unknown	1 table
IP (Biloxi, MS)	25	25
Scarlett Pearl (Biloxi, MS)	15	25	No	Masks required, temp check
The Palace Biloxi, MS)	10	15
Treasure Bay (Biloxi, MS)	10	10
Harrah’s Cherokee & Murphy	15	15	No
Harrahs River Valley (Murphy, NC)	25	25
Harrahs (AC, NJ)	15	15
Hard Rock (AC, NJ	25	25	Yes	2 tables
Resorts (AC, NJ)	15	25	Yes	1 table
Ocean (AC, NJ)	15	25	Yes	4-6 tables
Buffalo Creek (NY)	15	25
Seneca Niagra (NY)	10	15		1 table, can go up to $25
Hollywood (Columbus, OH)	10-15	Unknown	Unknown	2 tables, masks required
Hollywood (Grantville, PA)	15	25	Unknown	2 tables, masks required
Meadows (PA)	10	10		2-3 tables.
Windcreek (PA)	10	10
Mount airy (PA)	10	10
Parx (Bensalem, PA)	15	25		15 but maintaining 25
Sycuan (San Diego, CA)	10	10		Masks required
Barona (So Cal)	5	5		3 tables, dealers managing bets for players.
Harrahs (So Cal)	15-25	15-25		Bubble craps $5 min, Interblock bubble $3 min, 1 electronic table $5 min
Viejas (So Cal)	N/A	15		1 table
Southland Casino Racing (West Memphis, TN)	N/A	N/A	Yes	4 tables all closed. Other pit games open with plexiglas dividers. Bubble craps $5 minimum.

Last update 7/21
Pulled additional info from here.

6/17 Edit: Great info guys. Keep it coming! If something changes, please let me know.
I reached out to the mods asking about putting together a post to collect minimums for craps tables in Vegas and other places.
If this post gains traction, it may get a sticky. It may also help cut down on the amount of posts asking for this info.
I'll try to keep the body of the post updated. If information is correct, let me know.
Update 6/18 - Nevada Gaming Board announced masks required at table games in Nevada. I haven't heard that this is being enforced yet.
6/30: Keep reporting, especially any of you heading to Vegas. We would love to hear what the mins are on the strip
Let me know what casino, day or night and the minimums:

Vegas Strip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Aria	15	25	Unknown
Bellagio	10	25	Yes, all tables	Poker tables open
Caesars	15	25	No	Poker tables open
Casino Royale	N/A	N/A	N/A	Table Games not open
Cosmo	100	50-100
Encore	50	100	Yes, on some tables	Updated 6/16
Excalibur	10-15	Unknown		10 crapless, 15 regular
Flamingo	Rare (5) - 15	25
Harrah's	15	25	No	Confirmed no dividers per 6/16 Youtube video
Linq	15	25	No
Luxor	10	15
Mandalay Bay	N/A	N/A
MGM Grand	10	25	Yes, all tables
NY/NY	10	15	Yes, all tables
Osheas	Unknown	15
Paris	N/A	N/A	No	Opened 6/18 - Masks required at tables.
Planet Hollywood	N/A	N/A		No open date announced
Rio	N/A	N/A		No open date announced
Strat	Day	10	Unknown
Treasure Island	5	15
Venetian	Unknown	25	No
Wynn	25-50	50-100	Yes, on some tables	Updated 6/16

Downtown Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Binions	10	10
California	10	10
The D	10	15	No glass
El Cortez	10	10	Yes, some tables	2 tables
Four Queens	5	5	No	Confirmed thru 6/14 Youtube video
Fremont	10	10
Golden Gate	5	5		From 6/9 on Vegas Message Board (no carnival games)
Sams Town	15	15		1 table

Offstrip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Aliente	10	10
Boulder Station	10	10
Cannery	5	5		up to 2 tables, a mask was provided but not required
Ellis Island	5	5		1 table
Gold Coast	5	5
Green Valley Ranch	10	10		2 tables open
The Orleans	10	25		up to 4 tables, I was asked to wear a mask
Palace Station	10	10	Unknown
Palms	N/A	N/A		No open date announced
South Point	5	5		2-3x tables w/ only one $5 buy in
Strat	5	10
Sunset Station	5	5

Other NV Casinos	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Edgewater (Laughlin)	10	10
Harrahs (Laughlin)	10	15	no
Atlantis (Reno)	5/10	5/10		2 tables with different mins
Cal Neva (Reno)	5	5
Circus Circus (Reno)	Closed	Closed		Closed table game pit
Eldorado (Reno)	10	10
Grand Sierra (Reno)	15	15-25
Peppermill (Reno)	10	10	3 craps tables
Silver Legacy (Reno)	10	10
Hard Rock (Tahoe)	Closed	Closed	Currently closed
Harrahs (Tahoe)	25	25
Montbleu (Tahoe)	10	15

Non/NV Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Dividers	Comments
Foxwoods (CT)	15	25
Mohegan (CT)	10-50	10-50		2 were 10, 2 $15, 1 $25, 1 $50. Plus a high rollers table
Harrington (DE)	10	15-25		Must wear mask and face shield
Blue Chip (Michigan City, IN)	5	10		5 minimum prop bets, 5 min ATS bet.
L’auberge (Lake Charles,LA)	25/50	25/50		2 $25 min and 2 $50 min tables. 1 bubble craps $5 min
Harrahs (Shreveport, LA)	15	25
Margaritaville (Shreveport, LA)	25	25
Ocean Downs (MD)	10	15
Maryland Live (MD)	25	50	Yes	5 tables, 4 per side. Electronic craps 15 min
MGM @ National Harbor	50-100		Yes	4 craps tables 2 were $50 and 2 were $100 mins. Not bubble craps or low roller options.
Firekeepers (Battle Creek, MI)	10	15+	No dividers, only distancing	1-2 tables depending on demand, did see it at $15 during the day $25 on Fri/Sat night. Masks required, no smoking. $3 Bubble Craps.
River City (St. Louis, MS)	20	20	Unknown	4 players per side. $20 min. You have to have at least a $20 bet for every throw to "hold your spot"
Beau Rivage (Biloxi, MS)	25	25	unknown	3 tables
Boomtown (Biloxi, MS)	10	10	Unknown	1 table
IP (Biloxi, MS)	25	25
Scarlett Pearl (Biloxi, MS)	25	25
The Palace Biloxi, MS)	10	15
Treasure Bay (Biloxi, MS)	10	10
Hard Rock (AC, NJ	25	25	Yes	2 tables
Resorts (AC, NJ)	15	25	Yes	1 table
Ocean (AC, NJ)	15	25	Yes	4-6 tables
Hollywood (Columbus, OH)	10-15	Unknown	Unknown	2 tables, masks required
Hollywood (Grantville, PA)	15	25	Unknown	2 tables, masks required
Meadows (PA)	10	10		2-3 tables.
Sycuan (San Diego, CA)	10	10		Masks required
Barona (So Cal)	5	5		3 tables, dealers managing bets for players.
Harrahs (So Cal)	15-25	15-25		Bubble craps $5 min, Interblock bubble $3 min, 1 electronic table $5 min
Viejas (So Cal)	N/A	15		1 table
Southland Casino Racing (West Memphis, TN)	N/A	N/A	Yes	4 tables all closed. Other pit games open with plexiglas dividers. Bubble craps $5 minimum.

Last update 7/9
There is a similar post for all games on the Vegas Message Forum

Camp Half-Blood RP

Rhys Benoit Son Of Hecate

General Information

Name: Rhys Benoit
Nickname: Wiccan
Age: 15
Birthdate: January 15th 1982
Went Missing: February 10th 1997
Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana
Sexual Orientation: Find out O.o
Fatal Flaw: Impulsiveness

Family

Member	Name
Father	Jacques Benoit
Mother	Hecate
Step-Mother	Ilona Benoit
Half-Siblings	Conlan Benoit

Abilities

Powers

Passive Power: Minor Magic - Can Cast Minor Spells

Control Over the Mist

Ability to Communicate With the Dead

• Currently locked.

Minor Necromancy

• Ability to raise, control and dispel up to three dead people.
  
• The dead he raises are rather brittle, like the night sisters in Jedi Fallen Order. They run really fast, are scary, but can be taken out with one slash.
  
• Currently locked.
  

Weakness/es-Drawback/s

Like most demigods he'll start to feel tired after a bit of use. But for the magic and alchemy there's a bit of a catch. Anytime he uses a spell he must have the items needed for the spell. So, if it calls for a dracon's tooth he better have one.

Skill/s:

• Lockpicking: Even though he's not a son of Hermes he does like to dabble in the art of breaking into places he shouldn't be. How else is he supposed to get inside of the recently condemned buildings?
  
• Skateboarding: He can olly, kickflip and grind with the best of them. Also helmets are for losers.
  
• Guitar: He likes to dabble on his sick Les Paul his uncle gave him for Christmas a few years back. He's no Jimi Hendrix, but he can hold his own.
  

Equipment

• Nothing yet. Just standard Greek armor which he thoroughly hates.

Appearance

Faceclaim	Height	Hair	Eyes
Real Photo Drawn Photo	5'7"	Black	Light Purple

Description: Rhys is a typical looking emo boy. He has long blackish hair that he may or may not have gotten highlights in (not that he's telling). Rhys has eyes that look hazel from afar, but upon closer inspection he has light purple eyes. He's not super pale despite him being indoors most of the time due to him reading quite a bit. He reluctantly wears the Camp Half-Blood t-shirt, but has destroyed it on the sleeves so it has "style." He wears black skinny jeans (yes, even in the summer). Due to him having drawbacks on his magic he always is carrying a bag with different odds and ends to supply him with the necessary equipment to cast a spell.

Personality

Rhys does not much like to share. He feels like the universe is out to get him or something. He may have some trust issues, but what he lacks in that department he makes up for being fiercely loyal to those he does trust. He also can be rather reckless. He shoots off of the cuff and somehow gets into worse trouble then he was already in. Also Rhys likes the arcane and occult, not because he wants to commit blood sacrifices. Rather, he just thinks creepy things are cool and loves to scare people. In the best way possible, of course.

Backstory

Rhys was always an outcast. In fact, he was such an outcast he felt like an outcast even amongst his outcast friends in school. He could never figure out why. Rhys had grown up in New Orleans in the French Quarter. His family wasn't well off and his parents had struggled just to put food on the table. While he did feel love from his family he never felt warmth from them. He was the problem child and could never live up to his perfect older brother Conlan. He was the star pupil, had good friends, was a great athlete and blah blah blah. Rhys was not like that. He was weird, struggled in school, and had friends that his family told him would take him down the wrong road. Rhys didn't much care about that. His friends were like him, outcasts.
Being held to the standard of his brother really took a toll on Rhys. He would purposefully would not turn in assignments, would back talk teachers, and got into fights. That was the last straw. Rhys' parents decided that he needed discipline, so he was sent to a boarding school in Nevada. Rhys hated it there. However, while he was there he had some... weird... things happen to him. He had a teacher there, Mr Gunther, he smelled so foul. It was almost like a gym and a animal farm had been mixed together. Mr Gunther was the P.E. teacher and always had it out for Rhys. He was always pushing Rhys harder than the other kids and he could swear he heard him licking his lips multiple times.
One day in particular that feeling turned from Mr Gunther trying to kill him to Mr Gunther actually trying to kill him. They were playing the obligatory dodgeball in class. A normal day. That's when Mr Gunther had the great idea to have the entire class play against Rhys. Obviously Rhys lost. He had bruises all over his body and the class bully punched his shoulder and made a mocking noise as if he had just gotten hit by sixty dodgeballs. Rhys clenched his fist and walked past Mr Gunther and he swore he heard Mr Gunther mention something about tenderizing his meat, whatever that meant. Rhys, in a rare moment of restraint, didn't blow up on anyone. This wouldn't save him. Later that day Mr. Gunther had decided he had had enough of Rhys. Mr Gunther came into the locker room and eyed Rhys with anger. He berated Rhys and told him that he would have to do better next time. In his screaming tyrade Rhys made out that Mr Gunther had called Rhys into his office after class and that's when the craziest thing happened.
As Rhys entered the office and sat in the chair with an angry expression on his face. This wouldn't be the first time he got in trouble for doing literally nothing. Mr. Gunther asked Rhys if he knew why he had been called into his office. Rhys of course said a resounding no. Mr Gunther, in his deep raspy voice, told Rhys it had been so hard to know for sure who Rhys is. Rhys was confused. He was a nobody from a nobody family. Nevertheless Mr. Gunther continued and told Rhys that he could smell just how important Rhys was. This again confused Rhys. He could smell how important he was? What did that mean? Unfortunately Rhys wouldn't be able to ask any further questions. With a grin Mr Gunther told Rhys he needed no further confirmation and couldn't wait to eat him. In an instant Mr Gunther seemed to transform from the large lanky human he was to... a Cyclops.
Mr Gunther then tried to attack Rhys which went rather poorly for both of them. Rhys grabbed the chair he had been sitting in moments before Mr. Gunther attempted to smash him into a nice tomato sauce. Rhys took the chair and smacked Mr Gunther with it which surprised the sweaty Cyclops gym teacher enough to allow Rhys to escape. Mr. Gunther chased Rhys down the hall. To which he heard his classmates saying something about somebody having a gun. Rhys didn't take any chances and ran as fast and as far as he could. Rhys ran away and headed for the Las Vegas strip. He figured he could find a place to hide in that big of a city. He was, of course, correct. He didn't know just what that meant. He decided to head to a casino a little bit off the strip. He went to a casino that he could vaguely make out through his dyslexia called the Lotus Casino.
What felt like only a few days for Rhys turned out being a few decades. While Rhys was playing a weird high tech music game (you could play in your own rock band! How cool!). He somehow got free of the magic of the casino. He was focused on the game and made the high score, but as he hit the sore he was pretty sure a half goat half human person bumped into him resulting in Rhys realizing he had just seen a half goat half human which really blew his mind. He shook his head and looked around and saw a lot of things that didn't make sense. Like one person was talking to a cell phone, but it wasn't any cell phone he had ever seen before because the man was able to to touch the screen and things just did things for him. He saw a kid watching videos on his phone on the world wide web. Something was off and Rhys had to get to the bottom of it. Through some miracle Rhys made it to Camp Half-Blood not realizing just who he was or how long it was since he went missing.

Friends and Allies

• Otto Gautier - Interesting friend he made in the middle of the woods. They both get each other quite a bit and became fast friends. That was until Otto made Rhys pretty mad at a campfire. They haven't spoken since.
  
• Bella Diana - They had a good time at a campfire and Rhys didn't mind having her around.
  
• Cel Aria - Helped him realize he is more of a bow and arrow guy than sword and shield guy. Also they got along fairly well.
  
• Jacob - Half brother and someone he feels the need to look out for even if the kid doesn't need it.
  
• Trevor Kennedy - Technically his nephew, but that's weird. Trevor has really helped Rhys with his magic and Rhys has a weird connection with him. One of the first people Rhys told about his past.
  
• Mercury Novak - Rhys' half-brother who he knows little about. They just haven't interacted much since Rhys came to camp. They did have a heart to heart where Rhys asked for some advice and now they seem much closer.
  
• Claude McLeod - Rhys and him met at the failed matchmaker event. They got along really well and decided to go on a second date. So far they just like each other and Rhys is seeing where things are going.
  

His Story So Far

Control

• Coming to grips with his powers.

Someone Lost Their Mind

• Rhys learns a bit about where his father is.

Rhys has officially watched the orientation film and feels sufficiently confused about his life. He sits in a sort of daze on the steps on the big house looking over at his new life. Maybe this is where he finally belongs... probably not.
^{image credit flamespeedy}

40. Go Down Gamblin’ - Blood Sweat and Tears

Released in 1971, Go Down Gamblin’ by Blood Sweat and Tears is a song describing a gambler who is “born a natural loser.” He never wins, no matter what game he plays, but, he doesn’t feel like a loser. As the song goes – “Cause I've been called a natural lover by that lady over there, Honey, I'm just a natural gambler but I try to do my share.”

39. Gambler - Madonna

Gambler is a song written and played by Madonna, made for the film Vision Quest. Although the song reached the top 10 in the charts of the UK, Australia, Belgium, Ireland, Netherlands, and Norway, Madonna performed it only once on her 1985 The Virgin Tour. It’s a catchy song, we suggest you play it as you spin the reels of some of your favourite retro online slots.

38. The House of the Rising Sun - The Animals

Our list wouldn’t be complete without the 1964 hit song - The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals. Everybody knows the famous lines ”My mother, she was a tailor, sewed these new blue jeans, my father was a gamblin' man way down in New Orleans.” This single had a major success and made it to the top 10 songs on mainstream rock radio stations in the USA. Likewise, the hit was featured in the video game Guitar Hero Live.

37. The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

Whether we admit it or not, we all love at least some songs played by the very well-known Swedish pop group, ABBA. According to some sources, Bjorn Ulvaeus wrote the 1980 hit song The Winner Takes It All which was inspired by his divorce to his fellow band member, Agnetha Fältskog. The winner takes it all is a sort of a comparison to a divorce (especially the part ”I've played all my cards and that's what you've done too, nothing more to say, no more ace to play”), where one of them is the winner and the other one is left with nothing. And things are just the same when it comes to gambling, so we’ve decided to put the song on our list.

36. Shape of my Heart - Sting

We’re all aware of the fact that our gambling behaviour can be influenced by certain types of music and that's because online gambling and music go hand in hand. So, we suggest you start playing your preferred games with one of everyone’s favourite songs by Sting called The Shape of my Heart. It was released in 1993 and used for the end credits of the film Léon. In one of his interviews, Sting explained that the lyrics of the song tell the story of a card player who places bets not in order to win but to figure out something that’s been bothering him - “some kind of scientific, almost religious law.”

35. All I Wanna Do Is Play Cards - Corb Lund

“Well, I guess I really oughta be makin up songs but all I wanna do is play cards. I know it's dumb and sick and wrong but all I wanna do is play cards. Got the studio booked in Tennessee, and my record producer's callin me, the tape will roll in just three weeks and all I wanna do is play cards.” Does it sound familiar? It’s a 2005 hit by Corb Lund called All I Wanna Do Is Play Cards, once you hear it you’ll be playing it on repeat.

34. Gambling Man - The Overtones

When you’re falling in love, it’s perfectly normal to feel like you want to gamble everything just to attract that person’s attention to notice you and love you back. Well, Gambling Man is a lively 2010 song that tells a story of a guy fascinated with his love, so he places all his bets on her, as the song goes - “I played my hand, I rolled the dice, now I'm paying for my sins, I got some bad addiction.” This time, he feels that this love affair is different from any other – “Baby, it's you, yeah, yeah, that's right.” The song was released in 2010 and has been popular ever since.

33. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

Although the Poker Face song is more about the game of romance rather than the game of poker, the catchy refrain that starts with “Can't read my, no he can't read my poker face” kinda reminds us of winning at the tables, so we couldn’t skip it this time. Released in 2008, the song achieved worldwide success, topping the charts in the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada and several European countries.

32. Little Queen of Spades - Robert Johnson

Moving on to the Little Queen of Spades, a song title by the American blues musician Robert Johnson who recorded the song in 1937 and first released it in 1938. The first version of this gambling-themed song has a playing time of 2:11, whereas the second one lasts 4s longer (2:15), and is considered an alternate take and first appeared on Johnson's album The Complete Recordings, in 1990.

31. Train of Consequences - Megadeth

Another great song Train of Consequences is the title created by Megadeth, released as the first single from their sixth studio album Youthanasia in 1994. The song was later included on their compilation albums and its music video was the 26th most played video on MTV. There’s this part of the song “No horse ever ran as fast as the money that you bet, I'm blowing on my cards and I play them to my chest” – which is about a person’s gambling problem, who realises something’s wrong with this lifestyle, but it still hunts him down. Could be just the thrill, but he just can’t stop playing.
​

30. Gambler - Whitesnake

Released on the album Slide It In (1984) and appearing on the compilation album Gold (2006), Gambler is the song by the British hard rock band Whitesnake. These words may sound familiar - “No fame or fortune, no luck of the draw, when I dance with the Queen of Hearts, a jack of all trades, a loser in love, it's tearing my soul apart”. And in case you’ve never heard it, we think you should give it a shot, the chances are you’re going to love it!

29. Gambling Man - Woody Guthrie

Now here’s one single from 1957 - Gamblin' Man. The song was taped live at the London Palladium and published as a double A side, with Puttin' On the Style. Reaching #1 in the UK Singles Chart in the summer 1957, it was “the last UK number 1 to be released on 78 rpm format only, as 7' vinyl had become the norm by this time.” Written by Woody Guthrie and Donegan, this gambling themed song was produced by Alan Freeman and Michael Barclay.

28. Roll of the Dice - Bruce Springsteen

According to Songfacts, Roll of the Dice was the first Springsteen’s song he didn’t write by himself. In fact, E Street Band’s pianist Roy Bittan helped with the music, while Springsteen was in charge of the lyrics, starting with – “Well I've been a losin' gambler, just throwin' snake eyes, Love ain't got me downhearted. I know up around the corner lies, My fool's paradise in just another roll of the dice.” After he broke up the E Street Band in October 1989, Springsteen wrote lyrics for the Roll of the Dice (with two other songs) and liked them to the point where he began writing and recording more songs.

27. Queen of Diamonds - Tom Odell

Here’s one song about a gambling fanatic who’s trying to satisfy his own addiction but also someone else, hoping it’s going to save him. Released in 2018, Queen of Diamonds is Tom Odell’s song from the album Jubilee Road, based on the local characters that inspired this British songwriter to include the whisky-soaked gamblers who regularly visited one betting shop.

26. The Angel and the Gambler - Iron Maiden

Now, this song may divide Iron Maiden fans and it’s most probably because of its repetitive lyrics that can be a bit annoying. The release we’re talking about is The Angel and the Gambler. Truth be told, the melody in general is very catchy and, even a bit similar to The Who in some moments. As the song was released in 1998 while Blaze Bayley was its frontmen, it’s missing the well-known high-pitch vocals from Bruce Dickinson.

25. Ramblin' Gamblin Man - Bob Seger

We’re moving on to a rock single from 1978 - Ramblin' Gamblin Man by Bob Seger. The author meets an old acquaintance, a professional gambler who happens to be a swagger. As such, he attracts people’s attention whenever he bets. Putting so much of his faith in the cards (rather than in people), he walks away every time, just before avoiding loss. Along the way, the narrator realises that, if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll find he’s a very cynical man, who will never change.
Another gambling-themed song worth mentioning by Bob Seger is Still The Same.

24. Blow Up The Pokies - The Whitlams

Blow up the Pokies is the next song on our list, played by The Whitlams. It is the second single by the group from their 4th studio album, Love This City. Released in the year 2000, the song became a hit and made it to number 21 on the ARIA Singles Chart. According to several resources, the lyrics written by singer Tim Freedman were inspired by the destruction he saw in original Whitlams bassist Andy Lewis's life, due to his gambling addiction.

23. A Good Run of Bad Luck - Clint Black

Now here’s one 1994-song packed with gambling-related terms. As you listen to A Good Run of Bad Luck, recorded by American music artist Clint Black, you'll have a bit of fun as you try identifying what all these gambling terms mean. The song is a bit fast and is about falling in love by using gambling metaphors. The main character is willing to spend a lot of money to win his special lady over and, although he has had a period of bad luck, he is not giving up – “I've been to the table, and I've lost it all before, I'm willin' and able, always comin' back for more.”

22. When You’re Hot, You’re Hot - Jerry Reed

Jerry Reed won a Grammy for the song When You’re Hot, You’re Hot which was released in 1971. Most people remember it as it was a major hit, ranked as number 1 in the country charts, also making its way up the Pop Top 40. It’s an enjoyable novelty song about the ups and downs of the gambling life, about one’s winning streak caught in an illegal game of Crap.
Country star Jerry Reed also came up with a version The Uptown Poker Club in 1973.

21. Lawyers, Guns and Money - Warren Zevon

Next one up - Lawyers, Guns and Money is a song by Warren Zevon, the closing track on his album Excitable Boy, released in 1978. An edited version of this song was distributed as a single and found itself on the A Quiet Normal Life best of compilation on the CD and LP. The song goes like this - “I went home with a waitress the way I always do, how was I to know she was with the russians, too? I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk Send lawyers, guns, and money Dad, get me out of this, hiyah!”
​

20. The Lottery Song - Harry Nilsson

According to the man in the 1972 pop-rock song The Lottery Song by Harry Nilsson, there's more than one way to get to Vegas. Addressing his lover, the narrator mentions a few different options for buying a ticket and going to Sin City – “We could win the lottery we could go to Vegas,” and “We could wait till summer, we could save our money” as well as “We could make a record, sell a lot of copies, we could play Las Vegas.”

19. Casino Queen - Wilco

Now here’s one black-humoured gambling-themed song, released in 1995 and titled after a casino. Featuring a dirty electric guitar, Casino Queen was composed by an American songwriter, Jeff Tweedy, who wrote this song after playing a game in a riverboat casino accompanied by his dad. Inspired by the event, the author wrote: “Casino Queen my lord you're mean, I've been gambling like a fiend on your tables so green.”

18. Have a Lucky Day - Morphine

Another song on our list that you simply must check out starts like this: “I feel lucky, I just feel that way, I'm on a bus to Atlantic City later on today. Now I'm sitting at a blackjack table and swear to God the dealer has a tag says, "Mabel." Hit me, hit me! I smile at Mabel, soon they're bringing complimentary drinks to the table.” Check it out yourself - it’s called Have a Lucky Day by Morphine.

17. Kentucky Gambler - Merle Haggard

Written by Dolly Parton and released in 1974, Merle Haggard’s Kentucky Gambler is another song on our ultimate gambling playlist that you should pay attention to. It’s about a miner from Kentucky who leaves his family to gamble, under the bright lights of Reno. Unsurprisingly, his winning streak comes to an end, and he loses all his winnings. All broke, he decided to return back home only when he arrived, he found out his wife was involved with someone else.

16. The Jack - AC/DC

The next song on our list will give you some adrenaline boost, for sure. It goes like this - “She gave me the queen, she gave me the king, she was wheelin' and dealin', just doin' her thing, she was holdin' a pair, but I had to try…” Sounds familiar? This song from the 1975s is called The Jack and is played by AC/DC and there’s no way you can skip it.

15. Blackjack - Ray Charles

Moving on to something a bit different - a melody that blackjack lovers can listen to as they play is Ray Charles’ Blackjack. Apart from being a good quality song from 1955, it carries an important message with an emphasis on how brutal the game of blackjack can be. Some sources say that Ray Charles wrote it after beating T-Bone Walker at a blackjack game session.
Yet another Ray Charles’ famous song about gambling is called a Losing Hand.

14. Ooh Las Vegas - Gram Parson

“Ooh, Las Vegas, ain't no place for a poor boy like me”... is a song-into for Ooh Las Vegas which was written by Gram Parsons and Ric Grech. It was first released by Gram Parsons with Emmylou Harris in 1974. Playing this song would be perfect for the beginning of the road trip (i.e. to Las Vegas), especially if you have the energy to sing along.

13. The Stranger - Leonard Cohen

Published in 1968 and performed by Leonard Cohen, The Stranger appears in the The Ernie Game movie about a man released from a mental asylum. More appropriately, it is the perfect opening song in the 1971 Western McCabe & Mrs Miller, in which Warren Beatty plays a gambler. As you listen to this song (without watching the movie), it makes you see fascinating images of card games, smoky dreams, and concepts of risk versus safety.

12. Desperado - Eagles

Written by Glen Frey and Don Henley, Desperado song is one of The Eagles’ greatest hits from their 1973 album of the same name. The song features a classic tune while the ballad tells the story of a lone wolf imprisoned by his loneliness. As for the lyrics, they have loads of card references mentioning the queen of diamonds, the queen of hearts, and so on.

11. Huck's Tune - Bob Dylan

The next song on our list is about the risks of poker, money, and relationships, which are precisely what the movie Lucky You is all about. Does it ring a bell? That’s right, this 2007 song is called Huck’s Tune and is performed by Bob Dylan. Each of us can all relate to lines "You push it all in, and you've no chance to win, you play 'em on down to the end." Play the song and you’ll enjoy more than 4 amazing minutes of Bob Dylan.
Likewise, Bob Dylan recorded Rambling, Gambling Willie and Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts, both excellent and both inspired by gambling.
​

10. Four Little Diamonds - Electric Light Orchestra

A song by the British rock band Electric Light Orchestra Four Little Diamonds was released in 1983 and found itself on the album Secret Messages. The single wasn’t so popular in the US, being only 2 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, at number 86, and number 84 in the UK. This song refers to the singer’s cheating lover who tricked him out of a ring which had 'four little diamonds' on it.

9. You Can't Beat The House - Mark Knopfler

Moving on to our next choice for the day, You Can’t Beat the House. It’s the third song on the Get Lucky studio album released in 2009 by British singer-songwriter and guitarist Mark Knopfler. The album and the songs received favorable reviews with the album reaching the top three positions on album charts in Denmark, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Norway, and Poland. The singer’s divine voice combined with beautiful music and lyrics goes like this – “You can't bear the house, you can't bear the house, tell the man somebody, you can't beat the house.”

8. Deck of Cards - Don Williams

Deck of Cards is a recitation song that tells the story of a soldier who gets caught while playing cards in church and then faces a sentence from a superior officer. The soldier defends his case, explaining he wasn't about to deal a hand of poker, but was rather confirming his faith with the cards. Performed by T. Texas Tyler, the song managed to become a major hit in the 1940s and 1950s. Also, Wink Martindale had an even bigger hit with his 1959 cover, with a successful version by Don Williams featuring Tex Ritter and Buddy Cole.

7. Gambler’s Blues - B.B. King

First recording of the song Gambler’s Blues by B.B. King was in 1966, and it was released in 1967. The song appears on the album Back in the Alley (1970). Some say gambling and blues go hand in hand, so if you (gambling fans) haven’t heard it, listen and see for yourself.

6. Tumbling Dice - Rolling Stones

One of our favourite songs on the list is Tumbling Dice, written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. It tells the story of a gambler who can’t remain faithful to any woman. Being released in the 1970s and featuring a blues boogie-woogie rhythm, the song was and still is one of the greatest singles of all time.
Rolling Stones also recorded Casino Boogie, and it’s from their 1972 album, Exile on Main St.

5. Luck Be A Lady - Frank Sinatra

The next song on our list is about a gambler who hopes that he will win a bet, the outcome of which will decide whether he is able to save his relationship with the girl of his dreams. You probably know what song we’re talking about; it’s called Luck be a Lady released in 1965 and performed by one of the most popular musical artists - Frank Sinatra.

4. Deal - Grateful Dead

Next one up is the song Deal. It was first performed by the Grateful Dead in 1971, as a regular part of the repertoire through their 1970's tour. Although being less common to the fans during the 1990s, the band continued to perform it. The singer opens with the message: “Since it cost a lot to win and even more to lose you and me bound to spend some time wondering what to choose,” that later kicks off with a chorus: “Don't let your deal go down...”
Loser is another song first performed by the Grateful Dead in 1971 as well, heavily played during 1971 and 1972.

3. Ace of Spades - Motörhead

Ok, the next song is loaded with some great gambling verses like "The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say, I don't share your greed, the only card I need is the Ace of Spades" will definitely set you in the right mood for hitting some winning combinations. Released in 1980, the song was inspired by slot machines that the lead singer Ian Fraser “Lemmy” Kilmister played in London pubs.

2. Viva Las Vegas - Elvis

As soon as you start playing the second song from our playlist “Viva Las Vegas,” you’ll probably picture a huge casino and a great gaming atmosphere. Performed by the legendary Elvis Presley, the 1964-released song brings the glamour of the city, and its beat will get you in the mood for some serious gameplay. This song was written for the movie of the same name starring Elvis Presley, in which he plays a race car driver waiting tables at a hotel to pay off a debt. There’s this famous scene when he performs this song at the talent competition alongside many showgirls.

1. The Gambler - Kenny Rogers

Performed by the legendary country singer Kenny Rogers, The Gambler song is our number 1 - it's full of some betting advice that are relevant today, even though it was released more than 40 years ago, in 1978. Here’s how it goes… “If you're gonna play the game, boy you gotta learn to play it right, you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” These classic chorus lines were told from the first-person perspective inspired by a conversation the author had with an experienced poker player on a train. Written in the form of poker metaphors, Schlitz wrote the tune in honor of his late father.
Johnny Cash is also among other musicians who recorded The Gambler in 1978, on Gone Girl.

What do you think? Which one is your favourite?

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Breakfast on Pluto (2006)
Breakin' All the Rules (2004)
Breaking In (2018)
Breaking The Waves (1997)
Breaking Through (2015)
Breaking and Entering (2007)
Breakthrough (2019)
Breathe (2018)
Breed, The (2007)
Brick Lane (2008)
Brick Mansions (2014)
Brick (2006)
Bride & Prejudice (2004)
Bride Wars (2009)
Bride of Chucky (1999)
Bride of the Wind (2002)
Brideshead Revisited (2008)
Bridesmaids (2011)
Brides (2005)
Bridge of Spies (2015)
Bridge to Terabithia (2007)
Bridget Jones's Baby (2016)
Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Bridge, The (2000)
Bright Star (2010)
Bright Young Things (2004)
Brightburn (2019)
Brighton Rock (2011)
Brimstone (2017)
Bring it On (2000)
Bringing Down the House (2003)
Bringing Out the Dead (2000)
Brokeback Mountain (2006)
Brokedown Palace (1999)
Broken Circle Breakdown, The (2014)
Broken City (2013)
Broken Embraces (2010)
Broken Flowers (2005)
Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy, The (2001)
Broken Promises 3: The Final Insult (2011)
Broken Promises 4-Ever (2018)
Broken Wings (2004)
Brooklyn's Finest (2010)
Brooklyn (2015)
Brother Bear (2004)
Brotherhood (2011)
Brothers Bloom, The (2009)
Brothers Grimm, The (2006)
Brothers, The (2001)
Brothers (2010)
Brothers (2015)
Brother (2002)
Brown Bunny, The (2004)
Brown Sugar (2003)
Bruce Almighty (2003)
Brylcreem Boys (1997)
Bubble Boy (2001)
Bucket List, The (2008)
Buddha Mar Gaya (2007)
Buena Vista Social Club (2000)
Buffalo 66 (1999)
Buffalo Soldiers (2004)
Bug's Life, A (1999)
Bugs! (2009)
Bullet to the Head (2013)
Bulletproof Monk (2003)
Bulletproof (1997)
Bullett Raja (2013)
Bullhead (2012)
Bully (2012)
Bulworth (1999)
Bumblebee (3D) (2018)
Bumblebee (4DX) (2018)
Bumblebee (2018)
Bunny Chow: Know Thyself (2007)
Bunty Aur Babli (2005)
Burlesque (2011)
Burn After Reading (2009)
Burning Plain, The (2009)
Burnt (2015)
Bus 657 (2015)
Business for Pleasure (1997)
Bustin' Chops: The Movie (2013)
Bustin' Down the Door (2008)
Butler, The (2013)
Butterfly Effect, The (2004)
Butterfly's Tongue (2000)
Butter (2013)
Bye Bye Man, The (2017)
Bypass (2017)
C
CHIPS (2017)
Cabin Fever (2004)
Cabin in the Woods, The (2012)
Cadillac Records (2009)
Café Society (2016)
Café de los Maestros (2009)
Cake (2007)
Cake (2015)
Cake (2018)
Calcutta Mail (2003)
Calendar Girls (2003)
Call Me by Your Name (2018)
Call of the Wild, The (2020)
Callas Forever (2004)
Call, The (2013)
Calvary (2014)
Camouflage (1999)
Campaign, The (2012)
Camp (2004)
Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2019)
Can You Keep a Secret? (2020)
Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
Candy (2006)
Canyons, The (2014)
Capernaum (2019)
Capote (2006)
Caprice's D'un Fleuve (1998)
Captain America: Civil War (3D)(IMAX) (2016)
Captain America: Civil War (3D) (2016)
Captain America: Civil War (4DX) (2016)
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Captain America: The First Avenger (3D) (2011)
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (3D)(IMAX) (2014)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (3D) (2014)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Captain Conan (1998)
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
Captain Fantastic (2016)
Captain Marvel (3D IMAX) (2019)
Captain Marvel (3D) (2019)
Captain Marvel (4DX) (2019)
Captain Marvel (2019)
Captain Phillips (2013)
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (3D) (2017)
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)
Captive State (2019)
Captivity (2007)
Capturing the Friedmans (2005)
Caramel (2008)
Career Girls (1997)
Carmen in Khayelitsha (2005)
Carnage (2012)
Carol (2015)
Carpool (1997)
Carrie (2014)
Cars 2 (3D) (2011)
Cars 2 (2011)
Cars 3 (3D) (2017)
Cars 3 (2017)
Cars (2006)
Casanova (2006)
Case for Christ, The (2017)
Cash (2007)
Casino Royale (2006)
Cast Away (2001)
Castle, The (1998)
Cat in the Hat, The (2004)
Cat's Meow, The (2003)
Catch .44 (2012)
Catch Me If You Can (2003)
Catch That Kid (2004)
Catch a Fire (2007)
Catch and Release (2007)
Catching Feelings (2018)
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (3D) (2010)
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010)
Cats & Dogs (2001)
Cats (2019)
Catwoman (2004)
Caught Up (1999)
Caveman's Valentine, The (2001)
Cave, The (2006)
Celebration, The (2000)
Celebrity (1999)
Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012)
Cellular (2005)
Cell, The (2000)
Cell (2016)
Center of the World, The (2001)
Central Intelligence (2016)
Central Station (1999)
Centre Stage (2000)
Centurion (2010)
Ceremony (2011)
Chéri (2009)
Chaar Sahibzaade (2016)
Chak De India (2007)
Chakravyuh (2012)
Chalet Girl (2011)
Chalte Chalte (2003)
Chamber, The (1997)
Chameleon (2011)
Chameli (2004)
Chance Pe Dance (2010)
Chandni Chowk to China (2009)
Chandramukhi (2005)
Change-Up, The (2011)
Changeling (2009)
Changing Lanes (2002)
Chaos Factor (2000)
Chappaquiddick (2018)
Chappie (IMAX) (2015)
Chappie (2015)
Charlie Bartlett (2008)
Charlie St. Cloud (2010)
Charlie Wilson's War (2008)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Charlie's Angels (4DX) (2019)
Charlie's Angels (IMAX) (2019)
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
Charlie's Angels (2000)
Charlie's Angels (2019)
Charlotte Gray (2002)
Charlotte's Web (2006)
Charming (3D) (2018)
Charming (2018)
Chashme Baddoor (2013)
Chasing Amy (1998)
Chasing Mavericks (2013)
Che: Part One (2009)
Che: Part Two (2009)
Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2006)
Cheaper by the Dozen (2004)
Cheeni Kum (2007)
Chef in Love, A (1998)
Chef (2014)
Chef (2017)
Chekka Chivantha Vaanam (2018)
Cheliyaa (2017)
Chennai Express (2013)
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
Cherry Falls (2001)
Chhalaang (2020)
Chhapaak (2020)
Chhichhore (2019)
Chicago (2003)
Chicken Little (2005)
Chicken Run (2000)
Chikin Biznis - The Whole Story (1999)
Child 44 (2015)
Child's Play (2019)
Children Act, The (2018)
Children of Heaven (1999)
Children of Men (2006)
Children of the Century, The (2000)
Children of the Revolution (1998)
Chill Factor (2000)
Chill Out (2004)
Chimpanzee (2013)
China: The Panda Adventure (2001)
Chinese Box (1998)
Chloe (2010)
Chocolat (2001)
Chocolat (2016)
Choice, The (2016)
Choke (2008)
Chokher Bali: A Passion Play (2004)
Chopper (2001)
Chori Chori (2003)
Chorus, The (2005)
Christmas Carol (3D), A (2009)
Christmas Carol, A (2009)
Christmas Cottage, The (2008)
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Christopher Robin (2018)
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, The (2008)
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The (2005)
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (3D), The (2010)
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The (2010)
Chronicles of Riddick, The (2004)
Chronicle (2012)
Chuck & Buck (2001)
Chumscrubber, The (2006)
Chup Chup Ke (2006)
Churchill (2017)
Chutney Popcorn (2002)
Cider House Rules, The (2000)
Cinderella Man (2005)
Cinderella Story, A (2004)
Cinderella (2015)
Circle, The (2017)
Circus (2000)
Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away (3D) (2013)
Citizen Ruth (1997)
City by the Sea (2002)
City of Angels (1998)
City of Ember (2009)
City of God (2003)
City of Industry (1997)
City of Lies (2019)
City of Men (2008)
City of Violence (2014)
Civil Action, A (1999)
Claim, The (2001)
Claire Dolan (1999)
Clash of the Titans (3D) (2010)
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Clay Pigeons (1999)
Clearing, The (2004)
Clerks II (2007)
Click (2006)
Climbers, The (2019)
Clockstoppers (2002)
Closed Circuit (2013)
Closer You Get, The (2000)
Closer (2005)
Closet, The (2002)
Closing the Ring (2008)
Cloud Atlas (2012)
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (3D) (2009)
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (IMAX) (2009)
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (3D) (2014)
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2014)
Cloverfield (2008)
Club Dread (2004)
Coach Carter (2005)
Cobbler, The (2015)
Cock and Bull Story, A (2006)
Cocktail (2012)
Coco (3D) (2017)
Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky (2010)
Coco avant Chanel (2009)
Coco (2017)
Code Name: The Cleaner (2007)
Code Unknown (2001)
Cold Harbour (2014)
Cold Light of Day, The (2012)
Cold Mountain (2004)
Cold Pursuit (2019)
Colette (2018)
Collateral Beauty (2017)
Collateral Damage (2002)
Collateral (2004)
College Road Trip (2008)
Collide (2017)
Colombiana (2011)
Colony, The (2014)
Colossal (2018)
Colour of Paradise, The (2000)
Comebacks, The (2008)
Comedian Harmonists (1999)
Coming Home (2015)
Commando 3 (2019)
Committed (2000)
Common Wealth (2001)
Commuter (IMAX), The (2018)
Commuter, The (2018)
Company You Keep, The (2013)
Company, The (2004)
Con Air (1997)
Conan the Barbarian (3D) (2011)
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Concert, The (2011)
Concussion (2015)
Condemned, The (2008)
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2003)
Confessions of a Gambler (2008)
Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)
Confession, The (1999)
Confetti (2006)
Confidence (2003)
Conjuring 2, The (2016)
Conjuring, The (2013)
Connie and Carla (2005)
Conspiracy Theory (1997)
Conspirator, The (2011)
Constant Gardener, The (2005)
Constantine (2005)
Contact (1997)
Contagion (2011)
Contender, The (2001)
Contraband (2012)
Conversations on a Sunday Afternoon (2006)
Conversations with God (2007)
Conviction (2011)
Cookie's Fortune (1999)
Cookout, The (2005)
Cool It (2011)
Cooler, The (2004)
Copland (1998)
Copposites (2012)
Coral Reef Adventure (2003)
Coraline 3D (2009)
Coraline (2009)
Core, The (2003)
Coriolanus (2012)
Corky Romano (2002)
Corporate Ladder (1997)
Corporate (2006)
Corpse Bride (2005)
Cosi (1997)
Cosmic Africa (2003)
Counselor, The (2013)
Count of Monte Cristo, The (2002)
Countdown (2019)
Counterfeiters, The (2008)
Country Bears, The (2002)
Country Strong (2011)
Couples Retreat (2009)
Couples' Night (2019)
Courageous (2012)
Cousin Bette (1998)
Covenant, The (2006)
Cove, The (2010)
Cowboys & Aliens (2011)
Coyote Ugly (2000)
Crónicas (2005)
Cradle 2 the Grave (2003)
Cradle Will Rock (2000)
Crank: High Voltage (2009)
Crank (2007)
Crash (2005)
Crawl (2019)
Crazies, The (2010)
Crazy Heart (2010)
Crazy Monkey — Straight Outta Benoni (2005)
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
Crazy in Alabama (2000)
Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)
Creation (2010)
Creature (3D) (2014)
Creed II (2018)
Creed (2015)
Creep (2005)
Crew, The (2001)
Crime of Padre Amaro, The (2003)
Criminal (2016)
Crimson Peak (IMAX) (2015)
Crimson Peak (2015)
Crimson Rivers, The (2001)
Critical Care (1999)
Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001)
Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course, The (2002)
Croods (3D), The (2013)
Croods, The (2013)
Crook (2010)
Crossing Over (2009)
Crossroads (2002)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2001)
Croupier (2002)
Crow: Salvation, The (2000)
Crow: Wicked Prayer, The (2006)
Cruel Intentions (1999)
Crush (2002)
Cry of Love (2016)
Cry_Wolf (2006)
Cuba: An African Odyssey (2008)
Cube (2001)
Cup, The (2000)
Cup, The (2012)
Cure for Wellness, A (2017)
Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The (2009)
Current War, The (2019)
Curry & Vice (2013)
Curse of Highway Sheila, The (2014)
Curse of La Llorona, The (2019)
Curse of the Golden Flower (2007)
Curse of the Jade Scorpion, The (2002)
Cursed (2005)
Cut Bank (2015)
Cut-Out Girls (2019)
Cyrus (2010)
crazy/beautiful (2001)

FT. BBYMUTHA, NA-KEL SMITH, LIV.E, MIKE & BLACK NOI$E
Presale: Thursday, January 30th, 2019 at 10 AM Local
Onsale: Friday, February 1st, 2019 at 10 AM Local
Venues and Dates listed below:
03/23 New Orleans, LA - BUKU Music + Art Project
03/25 Charlotte, NC - The Underground at the Fillmore Charlotte
03/26 Silver Spring, MD - The Fillmore Silver Spring
03/28 Baltimore, MD - Baltimore Soundstage
03/29 Philadelphia, PA - Theatre of Living Arts
03/30 New York, NY - Irving Plaza
03/31 Providence, RI - Fête Music Hall
04/02 Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club
04/04 Montreal, Quebec - Corona Theatre
04/05 Toronto, Ontario - The Phoenix Concert Theatre
04/07 Detroit, MI - Saint Andrews Hall
04/09 Minneapolis, MN - Cabooze
04/10 Lawrence, KS - The Granada
04/11 Denver, CO - Cervantes Masterpiece
04/14 Seattle, WA - The Showbox
04/15 Vancouver, British Columbia - The Commodore Ballroom
04/16 Portland OR - Crystal Ballroom
04/18 Sacramento, CA - Ace of Spades
04/19 San Francisco, CA - Regency Ballroom
04/20 Santa Cruz, CA - The Catalyst
04/21 San Luis Obispo, CA - Fremont Theater
04/23 Pomona, CA - The Glass House
04/24 Los Angeles, CA - The Novo
04/26 Las Vegas, NV - Vinyl - Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Las Vegas
04/27 San Diego, CA - SOMA
04/28 Phoenix, AZ - Club Red
05/01 Austin, TX - Emo’s
05/02 Dallas, TX - Canton Hall
05/04 Houston, TX - Warehouse Live
05/05 Birmingham, AL - Saturn
05/06 Atlanta, GA - The Masquerade
06/07 London, England - Meridian Water (Field Day Festival 2019)

continuing
As I was picking myself up off the shooter’s shack floor, I glanced over to the TV.
The ballplayers were all wandering around the field, looking skyward. Evidently, there was this hellacious explosion…even the television sports commentators were speculating as to what happened.
Whoops.
I looked out into the quarry. The wall that I had charged had receded some 75 feet.
There was rather a large amount of shattered, blasted dolomitic limestone now in the quarry. Enough, I found out later, for a full month’s worth of orders.
We never did find the blasting mats. I think they sort of evaporated.
Luckily, the quarry is essentially an open amphitheater in plan view; basically a big hole in the ground with vertical limestone walls. The shockwave of the blast that didn’t spend itself shattering the limestone into which it was housed, blew out laterally, hit the opposite quarry wall, rebounded, and then dispersed, rather energetically, vertically upward.
I set off car alarms for a 20 block radius.
There were no broken home windows, as the lion’s share of the shock wave was redirected upward.
Good thing there were no low flying zeppelins or dirigibles in the area...
I waited the requisite time to allow for any loafers. There were none, so I jumped into the nearest wheel loader and began clearing the quarry floor. Hell, I had to so I could open the front gate.
As I was clearing the floor, making pile number eight of the loose rock I had liberated, I heard the characteristic whoop-whoop of emergency vehicles.
I parked the wheel loader, opened the front gate, and raised the green flag. That was enough blasting for one day.
A few minutes later, three police cars zoom into the site. Two were local city cops, and one was a state trooper.
“Hi, guys!” I waved, “Nice day, innit?”
“Doctor Rock! We should have known.” One of the local boys groaned.
“Hey, I did call you beforehand, as per procedure,” I said.
Polack the cop walks up, just knowing I was responsible. “Yeah, but we didn’t figure on you terrorizing the entire city.”
“Polack! How goes it?” I asked.
The other local cop and the state trooper look to Polack, “You know this maniac?”
“Oh, hell yeah. For years. Don’t worry, the good doctor is mostly harmless.” He chuckles.
“Damn. OK. I guess everything’s OK. Just no more shooting today, please, Doctor. It’s going to take hours to calm everyone down.” He laments.
“Yes, sir. I’m done for the day.” I reply, snickering slightly.
The one local and state trooper depart, shaking their heads in amazement. This left Polack to follow me over to the shooter’s shack to mooch a cigar and whatever else he can find.
“Jesus Hula-Dancing Christ, Rock. What the hell was that? I was all the way out in Whitewatosa and heard you.” He asks as he sneakily snakes a smoke out of my case.
“Just some common chemicals in the proper proportions.” I snicker.
“Which were?” he asks.
I go in the back of the shed and toss him an empty container of one of the parts of the binaries I used. He catches it, reads the label, and drops it like a live grenade.
“Binaries? Fuck! Like what you used at the tower?” he asks.
“Yep. I used just a little more.” I reply.
“Little more? Damn, as I said, we’ve been briefed on the stuff. This shit’s nasty.” He shakes his head.
“Yeah. Fun, too.” I reply.
Polack grabs a Sprechler’s Cream Soda out of the fridge as I opt for a cold Cream Ale and shot of potato juice. Hell, I was done for the day, so…
We sit around and have a chat, just shooting the shit, as it were. Manly topics, so the conversation eventually steered over to guns.
“Hey!” Polack remembers, “That’s right! You fucking owe me. Let me borrow that fucking cannon you carry. I want to show the chief a thing or two.”
“Yeah, that’s right”, I agree, “When do you need it?”
“This Friday, after shift. It’s the monthly qualifiers for us.” He notes.
“Are pyromaniacs allowed in?” I ask.
“To observe? Sure. To shoot? Nope. Insurance regulations.” He says.
“What time?” I continue.
“1800 hours.” He tells me.
“I’ll be there. I’ll bring my gun and an assortment of loads. Hey, this could be fun!” I evilly smile.
“Doctor. You’re doing that thing again. You’re grinnin’ like a shithouse rat. You know how much that scares me. Stop it.” He pleads.
“No worries. Friday at 1800 hours.” I reply, grinning.
Polack slurps down his Sprechlers, snitches another stogie, and squeals out of the quarry in a cloud of dense dolomitic dust.
I arrive back at our flat, after stopping for two frozen custard Turtle Sundaes, to go. I give one to an appreciative wife and I ask her about her day.
“Oh, went shopping with Oma. Got the cutest shoes, and a new purse, and…oh well, never mind. You’ll see.”
Between bites of Turtle Sundae, she asks how my day went.
“Oh, my dear. I had a real blast.” I replied, not lying in the least.
Monday, after my first classes, I’m back in the faculty lounge, savoring a Greenland Coffee.
There was the usual instructor chatter when Dean Vermiculari walks in.
“Good morning, Dean!” I say. “Care for a sit-down and a coffee?”
“Good morning, Doctor Rock. Yes, please to both.” He replies.
I fix us both a fresh Greenland Coffee and return to our table. I hand him one and sit down to savor my soupçon.
“How was your weekend?” I ask the Dean of the College.
“Oh, very nice. Had a fine time catching some perch and crappie out on Lake Genever. I see you had a victorious weekend as well. Twice.” He smiles.
“Twice?” I asked.
“Well, your handling of the tower demolition made all the papers. Very, very well done, Doctor. I congratulate you.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. That means a lot. Just doing what I can with what I’ve got. But twice?” I replied.
“It wasn’t front-page news, but I saw there was some, well, let us just say, ‘energetic activity’ out at the Silurian reef limestone quarry yesterday.” He grinned.
“Oh, yes. I had a job to do and well, as I always say: ‘Nothing succeeds like excess.” I smile back.
“Quite. This beverage you’ve created is really rather extraordinary, Doctor. Again, I thank you.” He tips his mug my direction in the age-old Midwestern salute.
“It’s a little recipe I picked up on my last expedition to the northlands. I grew rather fond of the concoction.” I replied.
“Ah, I see. Marvelous.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. High praise indeed.” I reply.
“Which leads me to…ah, Doctor Rock. I have another favor to impose upon you.” He says, all serious.
“Yes, Dean? How can I be of service?” I ask.
“We, as you no doubt know, have many, many fine extractive mineral company connections. We actually receive quite a large amount of funding and endowments from them. They recruit here extensively for our young geoscientists. Now, since Dr. Pataariki has left for industry himself, I would like to appoint you as the College of Natural Sciences corporate liaison.” He explains.
“Indeed?” I replied, too stunned for words for once.
“Yes, indeed.” He continues, “It will require travel, mostly domestic, and delivering symposia at various companies on differing extractive geological subjects. You will also serve as host and university coordinator when they are present on recruiting tours. There will, of course, be additional remuneration to accompany the added responsibilities.”
I slurped my coffee, thinking furiously.
“Could I please first discuss it with my wife before I answer?” I ask.
“Oh, Doctor. Of course, of course. Take your time. I will not require a reply until… tomorrow.” He smiles, finishes his coffee, thanks me again, and toddles out.
“Yow, Es!” I exclaim, “This is one hell of an opportunity. It’s never before been offered to a junior professor. This will cement my tenure-track. It’s going to be a bitch with time, though. What do you think I should do?”
“Well, Rock, honey, I think you should do…” Es begins.
“No! None of that ‘do what you think is best’ stuff. I want your own thoughts, just like when I decided to go after my doctorate.” I explained.
“OK, then.” Esme looks all serious like she’s going to deliver a bipartisan political speech.
“Yes.” She says, firmly
“That’s it?” I ask.
“Yep. You asked I answered. We’ll make it work. We always do. You can’t let the Dean down. You will accept tomorrow without fear or qualms of your wife’s hesitations, of which I harbor none.” Esme proclaims.
“Did I ever tell you of the myriad reasons I love you so?” I ask.
The next morning I meet with Dean Vermiculari. He’s pleased that I accept and hands over to me the charter. Then the lists of company representatives, their contact information, and some other secret stuff that I can’t divulge right yet.
A raft of oil companies will be coming in the late spring semester, so I need to contact each and every one to solidify dates, times and positions for which they’re recruiting. But that’s for then, I have something more proximal for now.
I have a Friday appointment with Polack the cop at the town police shooting range.
I arrive spot on time with my Casull .454 Magnum pistol, in its carry bag, along with a small duffel crammed with Pyrodex, Tannerite, and selection of specialty loads I had Herman the German, the inveterate gunsmith, create.
Herman the German, his actual sobriquet, was this incredible gunsmith, craftsman, and all-around artillery specialist. Have any sort of problem with a rifle, shotgun, or pistol? See Herman. Gun holding too high? See Herman. Barrel warped? See Herman. Need solid gold projectiles for a certain one-off job? See Herman.
Herman the German can sort it out.
Just never ask him: “How?”
“Ach! I’ve lived so long to learn, and you want it free? I’ll fix it, you pay, but I am only one knowing how!”
Herman was a cranky old Kraut, and has lived here for as long as anyone can remember. Even my Grandfather had deferred to Herman when he had some particularly delicate machining operation that need special attention and was unique.
As far as anyone knew, Herman had no family, but was never at a loss for friends. He was one of the most popular, and well known, but still oddly really unknown, kind of mysterious, old bastards in the entire community.
Herman the German liked me because I could obtain for him certain high-energy things he couldn’t. All were entirely legal, but some were sort of out there in the gray zone.
He also liked that I was educated, as he held education in the highest esteem. He also liked that I was of German extraction myself.
I often made it a point to drop by with odd and unusual high-octane potables while never expecting anything in return other than a story or a shared cigar.
Herman created some special loads for my .454 Magnum, which he prized.
“I like your gun, Doctor Rock, it is so big! I can still see well enough to build things for it.” He told me one day over cheroots and Schnapps.
Herman was a character to be certain. It must have been the pixie in him to dream up some of the specialty rounds he created for me to share with the local constabulary.
He lived out in the county by himself in an old farmhouse. He had a full machine shop in his basement, complete with forge, metal handling equipment, and a firing test range.
He handed back my .454, rather solemnly.
“Doctor, I am afraid to say I couldn’t test all the special rounds I’ve created for you. I need to patch the hole in the cinder blocks in the downstairs range. Your gun punched right through the back…” he apologized.
Now, Herman does all sorts of work on the local’s deer rifles, the police’s ordinance and has even worked some with the Baja Canada National Guard. Some of the little novelties he’s dreamed up for me are the first to escape his homemade basement test range.
I felt oddly honored.
After proving who I was to the nice range officer, I looked around trying to find Polack.
“It’s 1550. Where the hell is Polack? I wondered.
“Rock! Over here.” Polack calls to me.
He motions me outside to the police department’s tactical outdoor range. I had thought all along he was referring to the indoors police target range. This might pose some problems.
The tactical range was a series of clapboard shacks, all setup and designed to represent some downtrodden urban inter-city landscape. There were a couple of junked cars, broken sidewalks, storefronts, houses, bus stops…in short, all things necessary to replicate the seediest sections of a settlement where malefactors live and breed.
The cops all run around this range, shooting at bad guy pop-up cut-outs and avoid the not-bad-guy pop-up cut-outs. They’ve got music blaring, firecrackers going off, all trying to re-create a shady deeply urban environment. Points are awarded by the accuracy of fire on the run, time to maneuver the course, and the ability of not gunning down innocent bystanders.
It is not the best place to test a .454 Cusall. This hand cannon recoils like a fundamentalist Christian being solicited for donations to Anton LaVey, shoots flames and incandescent gasses like Smaug after a hard night of drinking and a stop at the Taco Bell buffet, is louder than a dime-store Karen demanding to see a Manager, and more powerful than a Ghost Pepper suppository.
To quote Joe Piscopo: “It shoots through schools.” Especially faux-schools made of plywood.
A .32 or .38 cop special is the correct weapon here; even a 9mm is a little heavy. Enough power to make a serious dent, easy on control, light on the recoil…a good tactical weapon.
But, nothing succeeds like excess.
Polack’s Chief is running around, capping off his ‘big ol’ .44 Magnum, and making the valley echo. He punches considerable holes in the pop-up cut-outs, but has such a hard time handling the recoil, his score is barely passable.
Polack runs his test with his standard 9mm sidearm and qualifies easily. However, he’s nowhere near done with his Chief yet.
I suggest to Polack we have a shoot-off. And since a .44 Magnum bullet ‘is so close to a .454 Magnum’, which it isn’t…the .454 Casull generates nearly 85% more recoil energy than the .44 Magnum; that we’d need something other than holes punched in plywood to judge the efficacy of each.
We are literally just down the road from Max Yazzer’s farm and market. They’re the place you go for your Halloween jack-o-lantern. However, now, he has a surplus of melons.
I think you can see where this is headed…
I borrow Polack’s personal conveyance and run down to Max’s farm. I return with a trunk-load of elderly, overripe, cheap as chips, melons. Watermelons, Honeydews, Musks, and Casabas.
We place them in strategic areas on the course, five for the Chief to find, and five for Polack.
A .44 vs. a .454 melon-wise results in pretty much the same sort of mess: high-velocity fruit spatter. Although, the Chief was very impressed by the report of the .454. So, after running the tactical-melon course, clear demarcation of a winner was elusive.
OK, OK, clever dicks. How about this? A standing shoot-off? We’ll set up 3 melons each at 30, 20, and 10 yards. Beginning at 30 yards, your time will be until you take out all three melons. But, they’re not going to be in a straight line, we’re going to make them somewhat camouflaged. You will stand in one small demarcated area, hunt those miscreant melons, and bring them to justice. Fastest time and greatest display wins, as determined by the Police Peanut Gallery.
Polack and the Chief agree.
The Chief goes first and dispatches the melons, with a fair amount of spatter, in 15.3 seconds.
Not bad.
Polack is next. He wipes out all the melons and creates some thoroughly impressive displays with Herman’s ‘special’ rounds. Normal ballistics for the .454 are, for a 250 grain (16 g) bullet, a muzzle velocity of over 2,400 feet per second, developing up to 2,800 ft-lb of energy.
Herman’s hot loads are double that.
Polack wins the day on impressive high-velocity melon distribution, but misses, so close, with a time of 17.0 seconds.
Recoil’s a bitch.
Then there are Herman’s ‘specialties’.
The Chief is duly impressed and even comments that his ears are ringing even with the ear protectors. He asks to inspect the weapon. He is even more than duly impressed.
Polack knows what’s up and asks the Chief if he’d like to give a whirl.
Of course, the Chief can’t back down.
Polack loads the .454 with 5 of Herman’s specialties: hollow-point rounds loaded hot, compressed, and tipped with alkaline earth metals, like metallic sodium and metallic potassium…
We set up the nastiest, glorpiest, just barely-holding-together, overripe, laced with Tannerite (an impact-actuated low-explosive) watermelon at the ‘Concealed Carry’ distance of 5 meters.
We slowly fade back into the distance to avoid the inevitable ‘Gallagher reaction’.
The Chief fires one, and just nicks the top of the melon. Don’t laugh, with the type of recoil and heft of the sidearm, and tensing up in anticipation, it’s easy to be off the mark initially.
The second round impacts dead-center. Now, alkaline earth metals and water don’t get along really well. In fact, their relationship is explosive. Especially explosive when delivered at 2,900 feet per second.
The Chief catches a huge smattering of vitamin-packed watermelony back blast goo.
He’s not entirely happy. He looks positively grisly with all that blown-up melon schmoo on his nice, neat uniform.
He returns my gun and bans me from ever showing up at the police range again.
Polack is on traffic duty for the next month.
He figures it was well worth it.
Back at the flat, Esme is shaking her head and wondering if I’ll ever grow up.
“I may grow old, but I’ll never grow up.” I reply.
I see I have several missed phone calls. Ah, me; no rest for the weary. Back to company-university liaison duties.
After I had contacted these companies, I receive no less than 12 requests for symposia, talks, and seminars to be given to various level of industrial scientific employees in their respective companies.
I am now slated to give academic conferences on stratigraphy, sedimentology, and seismic structural geology to different companies in Houston, Oklahoma City, Denver, Casper, Corpus Christi, New Orleans, and Tulsa. In the next 12 weeks, I’ll be giving no less than 8 talks in seven cities.
I speak with Dean Vermiculari on how best to handle the situation. He understands and appoints two graduate student teaching assistants to handle my classes while I’m on the road. That relieves me of being physically there, but I still have to grade papers, compose lesson plans, and keep things running smoothly until finals.
Besides giving the talks, there’s travel to oil fields, production facilitates, manufacturing plants, hotels, restaurants while I’m in town…the pace is excruciating. I’m gone more than I am at university. Plus in my time back home, I’m still the ad hoc master blaster for the limestone quarry.
Then, there’s the companies arriving on campus, and the roles are reversed. Now I’m the welcome wagon and have to sort out the logistics of receiving the company representatives. I need to set up the colloquia to introduce the companies to the prospective students, arrange lodging, arrange passes for the university, transportation, “Meet-and-Greet’s, ad infinitum.
I knew this was having a bit of effect on me when I came back to the flat after one particularly grueling ordeal of canceled flights, full hotels, missed connections and lukewarm reception by the company workers.
“Hello”, I said, as I walked in the flat, “I believe you have a reservation for…”
Esme just stood there, wondering if I was having a laugh.
No, I wasn’t. I was completely hallucinating from road weariness, lack of sleep, jet lag, and total disorientation. This continued on for the next approximately 18 months.
Esme was beginning to have second thoughts about all this.
My teaching load was diminished by one whole introductory course. However, I was still flying hither and yon, delivering symposia, meeting with young geoscientists and getting to know the ins-and-outs of the Oil Industry.
I found it particularly fascinating.
Time marched on and it was once again it was the recruiting season. We had no less than eight oil companies visiting the university in their quest to swell the roster of their junior scientists.
I’m still busier than a one-armed paperhanger in a windstorm, but have settled into a groove of sorts. I know the company recruiters and they now know me. I’ve actually struck up friendships with several. Particularly since I take them to the best local restaurants and bars after their recruiting duties are finished.
I’ve met with recruiting representatives of Shrill Petrol, Mexxon, Nobil, Nocono Oil, Flug, Geddy, Brutish Petroleum, and Qexaco.
The recruiting season is winding down and I find myself with Red (not Adair), of Nocono Oil.
“Well, Doctor Rock”, Red states, “Another fine recruiting run. We’ve snagged two of your young geologists and one geophysicist. I’d say it was almost a perfect score.”
We’re sitting in the Norton’s Steakhouse. After a couple of prime pink porterhouses, we’re working on the post-dinner double vodka and bitter lemon for me, and Lagavulin for Red.
“Almost perfect?” I ask.
“Yeah. There’s been this one small nagging concern from our company higher-ups.” Red continues.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“We need some more senior people. For one thing, we’ve recently opened a new petroleum laboratory down in our Houston office. Going to need some serious talent to run that show.” Red says.
“I see”, I reply, “And…?”
“We need mentors. Those with varied and far-flung knowledge. They must be well educated, global in experience and stature, with an [ahem] diverse set of skills.” Red notes.
“Whew”, I agree, “That’s a tall order. You want my help with names of possible candidates? Is that it?”
“Not as such, Doctor.” Red drains his drink, motions for me to do the same, and orders another round.
Our drinks arrive and Red downs half his in one gulp.
“Well, then”, I continue, “How can I help?”
Red chuckles, “For someone so educated, you can really be thick as two short planks at times.”
I sit back, and sip my Old Thought Provoker.
The mercury-vapors light off.
“No!” I say, incredulously.
“Oh, yes.” Red smiles.
“No?” I ask, slowly taking in the possible effects of what he’s hinting at…
“OK, Doctor Rocknocker”, Red gets all serious and corporate, “We’d like to offer you a position at Nocono Oil as Senior Laboratory Manager and Head of Corporate Continuing Education.”
You could have knocked me over with a grenade. I was stunned. I fumbled with my drink.
“Red, you old con artist” I reply, “Is this a set-up?”
Red, serious as a heart attack, looks directly at me and replies, “Doctor Rock, absolutely not, it’s a genuine offer.”
He slides over a folder with some papers inside. “Here are the particulars.”
Reeling, I accept the folder. I open it and right after the corporate logos and legal bullshit, I see a tall figure with a whole raft of zeros trailing behind it.
I read furiously. The job would be both interesting and challenging. It would be in Houston, with travel and teaching at all other company outposts on a regular basis. I reexamine that figure from before and verify that I’m not now hallucinating.
The job comes with furnished, corporate-paid housing, incredible benefits, loads of opportunity for advancement, more opportunity to travel, really generous vacation time…
“Right. On the level?” I ask again.
“Yep.” Red bluntly says.
“Well”, I gulp, “you know I have to discuss this with Esme”, whom he’s met several times previous.
“Of course, and you probably want to finish out the semester, correct?” red asks.
“Oh, yes.” I reply. There would be a monsoon of paperwork and other grunt work I’d need to conclude or hand over if I were to accept this offer.
“OK, then”, Red finishes his drink, motions for me to do the same, a real rarity; but I was in another dimension at this point. He orders another round and sits back, waiting on a refill.
“You have two weeks to reply” Red states.
“I know that’s not a terribly long time, but we need to fill this position ASAP. Can I ask for that? Your answer, yea, or nay, within a fortnight?” Red demands.
“Yes”, I reply. “I at least owe you that.”
And that was the end of the discussion for the night about me joining the private sector. We stayed a few more hours, chatting, smoking my cigars, and discussing everything but the lumbering elephant in the room.
We part outside as I need to head back to our flat. Red wants to go downtown to one of those “Gentleman’s Clubs” he’s heard were so famous at the time.
I was flummoxed the whole cab ride home.
It was late when I returned, but I simply had to wake Es with the news.
“Rock, for pity’s sake, its 2 o’clock in the morning!” Es protests. “Can’t this wait until later?”
“Sorry, my dear” I reply, probably as serious as I ever had with Esme. “This is a potential game-changer.”
“What is it? Are you OK?” Esme trembles.
“Oh, I’m fine. Better than fine.” I reply.
She’s relieved.
“Then what’s so important?” she asks.
“Um…how would you like to move to Houston?” I ask.
“You going to teach at Cougar High (University of Houston)?” she inquires.
“Nope. Brace yourself. I’ve been offered a job with Nocono Oil.” I finally spill the beans.
Esme is slightly stunned and sits down.
I go to the wet bar, fix me a bracing potato juice and citrus and Esme a stiff white Zinfandel.
I hand her the wine and she is still semi-dazed and digesting the information.
I slurp a good portion of my drink, retrieve her Sobranjes and me a cigar from my Turkmenistan humidor.
I sit on the couch next to her and hug her soundly.
“Esme? Es? Earth to Es? You in there?” I joke.
“Oh, Yeah. Rock. Really? Hang on”, she leaves, returning with her housecoat as this might take a little time.
“So?” I ask, “Your thoughts. Now! Immediately! Initial reaction!” I try to jar her back into reality.
“Well, what do you want?” she asks.
“C’mon, my dearest. You know I hate that. No, what do you think? What do you honestly think?” I reply.
We both fire up our smokes, and I refresh our drinks. We return to the dinner table where Red’s folder lies.
“Es, here. Look at this.” I say, sliding the portfolio over to her.
She reads like a hungry man at a Vegas casino buffet. I can tell where she was stopped by something extraordinary.
“This is for real?” she asks, “Red’s not pulling a fast one?”
“Nope. It’s the genuine article”, I tell her, “He needs my reply within two weeks.”
“Rock, Rock…I just don’t know. It’s a lot to process at 0230 in the morning. Let’s go to bed and have a think in the morning. You have the luxury of at least that amount of time.” She notes.
“Right again, as usual”, I say, “Stuff it. It can wait.” We toddle off to bed.
The next morning, over Cuban omelets and Greenland Coffees, we sort through the particulars.
“Rock, it’s an extraordinary offer. But, do you want to leave teaching? I remember how you got all animated by Dean Vermiculari giving you the corporate liaison job and how that would improve your shot at tenure.” She notes.
“I just don’t know. I’m still shell-shocked.” I tell her. “Let me go to school and we’ll pick this up tonight. We both have work to do no matter what. Oh, bloody hell. I hadn’t considered your job. Another wrinkle in the mess.”
“Don’t you worry about that”, Esme smiles. “One catastrophe at a time.”
“I do so love you.” I hug her soundly. “Think I should mention this offer to anyone at school?”
“No. Definitely not.” Esme shakes her head. “Let’s figure this out on our own.”
“I agree”, I say, kiss her and depart for school once again.
The next week was a blur. Recruiting duties were dragging and I was being preoccupied.
Even my students noted the lack of in-room explosions lately.
I spend the next Saturday at the quarry, doing some small amount of blasting. I quiz the quarry owners about their progress in acquiring a new master for the quarry’s operation.
“Oh, Doctor Rock” they gush, “You’re doing such a fine job, we haven’t really looked. Why do you ask?”
“No particular reason at this time, I reply, “But perhaps you might want to begin looking”
The chinks in my armor were finally starting to show.
Sunday was spent out on Sliver Lake, with Esme and me chasing the elusive crappie, perch, and bucketmouth bass. It also gave us a chance to clear our heads from work, school and other such intrusions. We both needed a bit of downtime.
Later that night, after a meal of beer-battered fillet of crappie and perch on the barbie, we sit down at the dinner table.
The portfolio sits there, taunting us.
I get up, makes us both our drinks, sit down and declare that this is it.
“Es, darling” I say, “its nut-cuttin’ time. We need to make our decision.”
“You’re right.” Es agrees, “Time for risk-reward analysis. Get some paper and some pencils.”
We spend the next few hours listing the pros and cons of accepting the Houston position or staying here and pursuing my tenured professorship.
After several hours, I stretch, stand, and go to the fridge. I retrieve the bottle of Bollinger Les Vieilles Vignes Francaises I had purchased the other day.
I return to the table with the wine and the glasses, pop the cork and pour us both a glass of high-brow bubble water.
I hug and kiss Esme like I had just returned from a long, solo expedition.
“Esme, my darling. I’d like to propose a toast. First to us. Hа здоровый!”
“Cheers!” Esme replies.
“Secondly to Red, Dean Vermiculari, the quarry guys, Polack the Cop, and all the others that makes our life weird around here.”
“Seconded”, Es echoes.
“Finally: to Houston, Texas. Our new home!” I finally add.
The next morning, Dean Vermiculari peers over the top of his pince-nez glasses. He’s not looking overly happy with me right now.
“Why is it, Doctor, that everyone that receives the job of corporate liaison ends up going with corporate?” he asks.
“Perhaps it’s just the exposure to another world that exists beyond academia.” I reply, truthfully.
“Doctor Rocknocker,” the Dean gravely states, “I am not at all happy about your decision. We had great hopes for you here and you were riding right up the tenure track. Another five years and it would have been assured.”
“Five years is a long time, Dean”, I state the obvious.
“Yes, indeed.” The Dean replies frostily. “However, you are young. Perhaps you need to get this private sector nonsense out of your system, then you can return to academia where you belong.”
“Perhaps, perhaps”, I reply.
“Please, do consider this option down the road. You and your antics will be missed here, by students and faculty alike.” He says.
“I will, Dean, I promise.” I reply “However, for now, it’s time for my boot heels to be wanderin’.”
“Doctor, I will miss your strange and unique way of looking at life. I reluctantly accept your resignation at the end of the current semester and wish you all the best in your newest endeavors. Please remember us when corporate support for academia is mentioned in your new company.” he says.
“I promise you, Dean, I will not forget what I’ve learned here and what you’ve taught. It’s the least I can do,” I reply. “I will never forget my roots.”
“All I can ask”, he concludes. He stands to shake my hand. We shake and my audience is over.
I resign from the quarry a week later. They haven’t found a new blaster but wish me well on my new journey. I tell them I’m here until the end of the semester, so I won’t leave them high and dry.
I tell Polack the Cop about all the goings-on.
“Who the hell can I roust for beer and cigars now?” He whines. “Let me know when you get to Texas if they need any cops. I wouldn’t mind trying’ that. Hell, maybe a Texas Ranger!”
“A Cheesehead Ranger…?” I assure him I will and pass a box of cigars to him as a parting gift. He gives me a mayoral-signed get-out-of-jail-free card.
“Now you can drive that old Harley just as crazy as you want.” He chuckles.
“Thanks, Polack.” I say, shaking his hand. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I sold my bike a week earlier.
Red was very chuffed with the news.
“Snagged me a big one this time!’ He laughed, over the phone.
There was enough paperwork, considerations and decisions to be made to last the remaining time Esme and I had in-state until our move. Already, a moving company had arrived, done inventory, and was preparing for our move to Houston.
Esme resigned her position and decided she wanted to take some time off. She wanted to be a housewife, a colleague, and not have to work for once at an outside job. My new position allowed for that in spades. Besides with her credentials, anytime when she wants to re-join the workforce, there are myriad opportunities in the Bayou City.
We made the choice of housing out west of town, in Katy, Texas. We could have chosen Sugarland, Addicks, Greenspoint, Greenway, or the Memorial area. However, these west Houston company properties were closest to the job and largest in square footage.
My students got wind of my resignation and relocation. They threw me an unexpected farewell party at the Gast Haus. It was nickel-beer night and since they were footing the bill, it all worked out just fine.
I would miss the old place. The camaraderie, the seasons, the university; hell my home these last many years. I’ve been on many, many expeditions, but I always returned home.
Now, home was moving and was awaiting our arrival.
Esme and I said our farewells to our families as well. We were the first through college, the first ones to travel international, the first Doctor in the family, and the first to leave the state.
That’s a lot of familial firsts.
I had to keep reminding everyone it wouldn’t be the last. Hell, we’re just moving to Texas, it’s not like we’re off to Greenland or Mongolia…
[Gasp]
We saddled up Es’s old Chevy Nova, took one last, lingering look in the rearview mirror, and said fare thee well to our previous lives.
“We’ll be back. Someday. I promise” I told the city of our youth and young married adulthood.
We decided to drive to Houston because we had the luxury of a bit of time. We needed the stretch to chew over some interpersonal and private things on the way to the next chapter in our lives. Besides, the weather was good, the roads ahead open and clear, and Texas had no ‘Open Container’ law, yet.
We pointed the old Nova south and hit the gas.
A week later, we’re wandering around our new house in Katy, Texas. Our belongings, scant though they may be, arrived the day after we did. Esme and I spent the next couple of day rearranging the house, buying necessary domestic bits and pieces, and getting to know our new neighborhood.
First thing, though, Esme wanted to replace the old Nova. I concurred, but insisted we keep it as a second car and went out to purchase our first new car as a couple.
I wanted a Land Rover. We ended up with a glossy black Toyota 4-Runner. Close enough.
I was scheduled to show up at my new job the next Monday.
I had my own parking spot, complete with “Reserved for Dr. Rock” painted on the bumper block. I was shown my new lab and was introduced to my seven laboratory assistants. I was shown the catalogs I could use to order what I needed and went over the requisition procedures.
I was trotted around to meet the company CEO, CFO, CIO, VPs and many, many more company executives and managers. I’ve met with presidents and heads of state, I was impressed but not overly. They seemed like a more or less nice bunch of chaps.
Almost exactly five weeks to the day from our arrival in Houston, I come home, yelling “Darling, I’m home!”
Esme comes to greet me with a rib-rearranging hug. She tells me to sit at the dinner table, where my long hard day at the office drink, cigar, ashtray, and lighter are already set.
“How was work, dear?” she asks, sitting down with her Perrier water.
“Oh, it’s going great. The knotheads let me have an open-ended budget until I get the labs sorted just the way I want it. These guys pay their bills on time and I have carte blanche at Wards Scientific, and other supply houses. My crew is great, no interpersonal crapola, and hard workers. I can smoke in my office and no one dares give me shit about my cigars. I’m getting to know the exploration department quite well. They’re really interested in our expeditions and are more interested in my opinions of their new exploration directives.”
Esme just smiles and sips her water.
“Odd”, I thought.
“That’s great, dear.” She says. “I am so glad to hear it.”
“Me too”, I say, “How are you holding up after all these weeks alone?”
“Oh, I’m getting used to it.” She smiles.
And smiles. Beatifically. Glowing.
“What?” I ask.
“Remember what we talked about in the car on the way down here?” She asks.
“We talked about a lot of things…” I say, suddenly my eyes grew very, very wide indeed.
“Yes. You’re going to be a father. I’m pregnant, Rock.” Esme smiles.