I want to preface that the contents of this post is for informational purposes. I do not condone or approve of any harassments or witch-hunting or the attacking of anybody.
 
Richard Lewis recently did a stream talking about the terrible state of CS esports and I thought it was an important stream anyone who cares about the CS community should listen to.
Vod Link here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830415547
I realize it is 3 hours long so I took it upon myself to create a list of interesting points from the stream so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, although I still encourage you to do so if you can.
I know this post is still long but probably easier to digest, especially in parts.
Here is a link to my raw notes if you for some reason want to read through this which includes some omitted stuff. It's in chronological order of things said in the stream and has some time stamps. https://pastebin.com/6QWTLr8T

Intro

• "The last month has convinced me, that we are going to be heading into a dark place for Counter-Strike esports in 2021."
  • "I think I've seen the scene essentially kill itself."
• "For the past 5 to 6 years, we've basically been in a holding pattern of people coming into our game wanting to run it, wanting to run all of the esports and wanting to profiteer and its been sort of a concerted effort to drive them off and push them away."
  • "We're spread way too thin."
• "If Riot don't get involved and stop the scumbags that have moved over to Valorant from getting their feet under the table, Valorant is going to have real problems."
• RL thinks too much has happened all at once for us to do anything except watch it play out, like:
  • Recent CSPPA strike against BLAST
  • ESIC failures and them not being supported enough
  • Teams cheating i.e. coaches/bugs
  • Widespread match fixing
  • The Pandemic
    • "People who try to hold bubble events are so incompetent and fuck up and people get the 'rona and its their fault."
    • "People who say Flashpoint is a bubble is full of shit and is a lie and people are now suffering for that lie."
      • "To save money they let people go home and break the bubble for a week."
      • "Not just Flashpoint peoples decision, they have a partner that handles the production." (hinting FACEIT)
      • "People are trapped in hotels essentially under house arrest because of COVID restrictions and has fucked peoples lives up."
• "It's all too much, all of this incompetence, all of this greed, maybe we ride it out."
  • RL says he has talked to the Riot devs (the ones working on Valorant) and says, "They are so cognizant of all the fuck ups and all the problems we have in Counter-Strike."
    • He continues to say that this is factored into their business plan and that we never had a competitor, but just so happens to have one coincide, when we are at our worst.

CSPPA - Counter-Strike Professional Players' Association

"Who does this union really fucking serve?"

• RL believes that the CSPPA is a mockery.
  
  • He points out the hypocrisy that they wouldn't strike for the pros who were kicked out of ESL Pro League, or for Jamppi or dream3r.
    • He also says ESL paid CSPPA and are racketeering and many other TOs have to pay them to get their "seal of approval"
      • He says they would strong-arm TOs saying "well if you don't give us the money, these guys are so we'll just have to commit to playing their event."
    • Also points out that they will strike against a competitor they are not in agreement with (Flashpoint)
    • RL: "It's what it says about every other time you haven't done it and it's about every time you don't do it now moving forward." "The issues they've chosen to ignore this year alone are embarrassing."
    • Then he points out that there was no strike for Valve qualifiers even if we have no major but Jamppi and dream3r can't play in them.
      • "and Valve have said 'Oh yeah we know actually their stories are accurate, Jamppi didn't cheat, now in a legally binding document. Yep dream3r did have his account hacked in a LAN café', but they still can't play. Where is the fucking solidarity? Gone. Doesn't exist. It's not important [because] it doesn't affect you." "That's what the union does right now, it looks after all the tier 1 people."
• He says the CSPPA doesn't represent all players all the time and has driven a divide where you have the haves and have-nots
  
  • "We have a tier of players that operate with impunity and do not help their tier 2 or tier 3 players out at all." "If you are not a tier 1 player you do not matter, they don't event ask your opinion."
  • He tells chrisJ to admit and own the fact that the reason he didn't speak up during the ESL Pro League debacle is because it didn't affect him
  • "They are looking after some players at the expense of other players. How the fuck is that a union?"
• He says the BLAST situation is a reasonable dispute and supports the players but is not the right time for a strike and have not even identified the correct enemy
  
  • He thinks players are lashing out now due to previous incidents and are upset that BLAST are working with ESIC
    • He stated that CSPPA shouldn't beefing with ESIC and they should be working in harmony
  • He says what they need to do is talk with the teams/organizations that have sold that right to BLAST
    • RL: "Your employers, the people who pay you that massive exorbitant salaries, when you don't stream and you don't do interviews and you offer no value beyond your ability to click heads and you get 25k dollars a month." "Why don't you talk to them about it? Oh right. You're happy to take away BLAST's paper, but you don't want to risk your own."
  • "I am seeing such unbelievable cowardice from the players here with the battles you choose."
  • "Where was the strike action when in the qualifiers for the world championship, there were teams and players engaged in huge conflicts of interest?" "Where was the strike action when your image rights were taken and sold to every league you've ever been in every union type organization you've ever been associated with like, WESA, to your org every time you sign a contract, to the leagues you play in."
    • "Your image rights are essentially worthless now, there's about 10 fucking separate parties that have them, and how many of them are giving you anything for it? Not much pretty much your org by the way."
    • "That's a big issue. Your image is you, your image is your brand. What are you doing about that? Nothing."
• He is also angry at SirScoots who is "popping off" at people on Twitter who all want the same thing, which is 'A unified Counter-Strike scene for everybody, that works for everybody, that has a sustained ecosystem that nourishes everybody.' "We don't have that now."
  
• He also says their rankings are a joke
  
  • "Just so happened, oh look TACO, that very important prominent member of the board, we pushed his team artificially up when they weren't even in the fucking top 20, not by a long shot."
• He also says the ineptitude of the CSPPA cost Flashpoint a monitor sponsor
  
• "Is it really a player association or is it like a fucking agency at this point"
  

ESIC - Esports Integrity Commission

"They have been put in an impossible position."

• RL says that Ian Smith, the founder of ESIC and who was done work in mainstream sports, is a good and honorable man who has dedicated his life to integrity and sports. He takes on both sides, ensuring match fixers are punished, but also doing appeals and ensuring those punishments were fair.
• "ESIC is a tiny organization" and are in need of money, "They didn't run a grift like the CSPPA did."
  • "Saying 'you want our support and you want the players to turn up you better pay us.' They don't do that."
  • "Had startup seed money from MTG and since then they've been pecking shit with the hens."
    • Ian Smith made sure that the money given by MTG (Modern Times Group, parent company of ESL, ESEA, DreamHack) was nothing more than startup money and wouldn't be in debt to them
      • Ian Smith sat down with other TO's not part of MTG and wanted to partner with them. They declined and called ESIC "ESL spies and we will never align ourselves with you"
  • "They only were just able to afford, hiring a PR guy on a full time salary to deal with the press and send out those releases you've seen, this year."
    • "They have a tiny group of staff investigating these things and they have taken on the biggest problems in our scene: the cheating, the match fixing."
• ESIC have had "unprecedented levels of cheating to deal with, because there's something wrong with our scene ever since we went online. There's something wrong with it, everyone's lost their fucking pride and self-respect and they got no passion for it anymore, so they think fuck it, what's in it for me?"
  • He calls out coaches who are talking about players rights when they would rob and steal from them.
    • Also says more coaches being banned are coming
    • He also points out flaws in community's reaction to the punishments to coaches bans: "Half of the cunts still have jobs and some of the cunts got new jobs. We didn't even shun the cheating coaches."
• ESIC have "found I think another 2 or 3 exploits like that one and they are investigating them all right now, it's going on right now."
  
  • "I know that there are going to be more names getting banned, again."
  • "So they're doing that on a skeleton crew while, investigating 3 continents worth of match fixing in MDL and semi-pro level CS." "They're doing this with half a dozen people." "They don't have any money or any help. People barely even fucking cooperate with them, they are treated like pariahs. It's ridiculous."
    • "Why are the CSPPA popping off at ESIC on my Twitter timeline, when you should be working together." "because its all about what's in it in for me." "2020, the online era of CS: 'What is in it for me?' How can I cheat, how can I get my paper, how can I bleed this scene one last time before I fuck off and play shooty shooty bang bang Riot Games babys first fps."
• RL says that in the CIS region, teams have gone to tournaments and have been eliminated multiple times by the same team. We found out they were cheating and those players who lost, have been cut from their roster, careers ended because of cheaters.
  

Stream Sniping

"They're all at it in the online era, they're all at it, they're all cheating, they're all using exploits, probably that see through smoke bug got used a bunch of times"

• RL talks about how there is no integrity from dead (the player), always denying when caught doing something
  • On the topic of 'BLAST never said we couldn't stream snipe': "Lies, BLAST never said you could do that, they had to sort of retcon it." "because what happened after that they fucking started snitching and squealing"
    • "Suddenly you had like, 10 of the top 15 teams in the world, staring into the abyss of being banned for 6-12 months in line with ESIC recommendations."
      • He says that ESIC was put in a tough situation and couldn't enforce the bans because it would have resulted in killing CS. What resulted was, BLAST, ESIC, and teams came together and gave them a warning and told them, in RL's words "don't do this again or you're gonna get got."
        • He then says the top teams brushed this off and didn't give a fuck
        • The new MiBR team playing Flashpoint, that wasn't involved in the previous incidents are doing it again (stream sniping). He gave credit to Flashpoint for the quick resolution and punishment and respect for cogu's response to the situation.
        • "ESIC came out and said, once more, 'Guys, zero tolerance from now on.'" RL then got upset at community's reaction calling ESIC "pussies" for their non enforcement and said if we want competitive CS we cant ban the top 10 teams.
• He points out how players have no integrity and will do anything for an edge as long as they won't get detected or banned or it's within a grey area.
• "All of this shit was mad avoidable, even in the pandemic era."
  • He talks about why aren't we filming them. Why aren't there representatives for leagues and tournaments making sure players aren't cheating?

Match Fixing

"How many years have we let our scene be fucking pillaged by these greedy cunts?" "We just let it happen."

• RL says that gambling and skins betting which existed in moderation was "accelerated and blown up by the Call of Duty greedy fucks."
  • "Never forget TmarTn was on the board of EnVyUs." "His website, CSGOLotto, they had a bunch of off-the-books sponsorships." "NBK promoted them. People forget."
• "Those people who had access to the skins, go to the players" "Even people like s1mple, best player in the world, even he scammed knives and skins off fucking fans."
• Owners of skin casino sites would approach pros and lend them skins to use in tournaments and possibly keep them after reaching a deal
  • Players would tip off inside info about matches and teams in exchange for skins. Info such as: roster changes, how they played in scrims
    • They would use this info to bet and subvert the odds on their sites. "That happened religiously, I can't even tell you how many times it happened."
      • "I had access to the biggest database of information, from an inside betting circle in NA, and it would take information and screenshots from other pro players, who were feeding them info in exchange for money or skins."
        • "Some of these players are still playing." "Incredibly, there are players still in the CSPPA today, complaining about the BLAST recordings, that were embroiled in this murky shit back then."
• RL also says that there were tournaments where teams contrived with each other, who should throw, who should win.
• "There's a handful of people that are trying to fucking clean it up, and you think you get something over the line and you see something like the CSPPA and it's run by corrupt fucking chuckle heads, and now you've got another corrupt body you have to fight on a fucking daily basis, it's demoralizing."
  • "It's too far gone. Our entire semi-professional scene is compromised."
• "It's rife guys, I'm not going to lie any more. It's not just China, it's not just Russia, it's here, it's NA, it's Europe, it's Australia, so much more than you think, so much more than we can prove."
  • "I get sent chat logs all the time […] and they're morons, these players, short-sighted, amateur, morons and they're doing it on WhatsApp." People would get cut from the bets because they want to make more money, then they leak the logs. He says, from the chat logs, they spread "little" bets across every site they can (400 to 1k dollars) to prevent shifting odds
• He says the scumbags who've fucked off to Valorant will do the same there if Riot doesn't do something and says Valorant "is an esports scene heading for a very early fall based on the sheer volume of scumbags that are already there."
• "That's tier 2 CS in a nutshell these days. They know they're never going to play in a major, so what's the punishment?"
  • "All of these tier 2 fucks that are fixing games now they are like the fucking mafia compared to iBuyPower" "These guys are working with organized criminals to fix entire seasons worth of games. That's what's going on in your tier 2 CS."
• "I'm literally being told that there are players fixing games at all levels of Chinese esports and motherfuckers with guns are turning up to team houses and stuff."

North America

"Everyone in NA has left we've lost a continents worth of support during this pandemic and Valve haven't said a fucking word."

• RL says the Call of Duty "goblins" that destroyed CS for years are the same people who are now trying to leave CS. "The nerve to treat a game where the fans, and the community, and the TO's were nothing but good to you." "To just kick the players out now and go and leave and say 'It just doesn't make financial sense.' Oh you'll slither back when we have a major though for them stickers won't you."
• There's a cascading effect in NA where people don't bother with CS anymore and people like Chaos suffer.
• He says NA team owners are incompetent for always wanting it easy and always wanting a guarantee on their investment without skill or nuance.
  • RL says he would be able to market a team correctly and would have a good ROI and also points out how TSM wouldn't even be bothered to tweet that their team, which was one of the best in the world, was playing at the Major.
  • He also says not all NA owners are like that, compliments and respects Jason Lake who nearly lost everything to keep Complexity going.
• He then calls out the incompetence in Infinite Esports when they acquired OpTic Gaming and bought an Indian CS team.
  • He says HECZ is not to blame here and that they couldn't tell forsaken was cheating when it was so obvious.
    • They measured his reaction time to the likes of dev1ce and s1mple
    • When an enemy showed up on his screen he won that duel something like 44% of the time
    • "was like the number 1 player in the world statistically"
    • He brought a laptop to their bootcamp and refused to use the high end PCs that hey provided
• He respects Andy Miller (NRG CEO) and HECZ but says that the attitude of not being able to easily monetize their teams is "piss weak" and there needs to be a risk.
  • He says Chaos EC shouldn't be cutting their roster and should be competent enough to be able to figure out how to make money off their team.
• He says there are still opportunities in NA and people are panicking and pulling out, and says Valorant will be the same if not worse.
  • He also says "bums" who couldn't even get out of groups in NA competitions, are making crazy money in Valorant and says it will continue to inflate.
• He also said that he heard rumors that EG (Evil Geniuses) are done.
• He also thinks that the rumors of a Valve franchised league from before was sparked up from "these lazy fabled weak NA fucking team owners basically trying to see if Valve would bite at the hook if it was dangled and they didn't"
  • Slasher says NA team owners are really in favor of franchised leagues because they want to make more money. "Most of the powerful team owners right now are on board with ditching this third party organization structure, or they are trying to play this power politics with all the TOs, and that is contributing to a lot of the problems there"
• RL says that Riot has proved they can run a franchised league (LCS) and will be profitable in 2021 which is what a lot of team owners care about and says the competition will only serve to snatch people away from CS.
• RL continues to say, "I am so sick and tired of what we have done to this scene, I am just exhausted with it." "I think we have legitimately fucked it, I really think we have. I think we're staring into almost like a CGS (Championship Gaming Series) wasteland in NA." "Counter-Strike esports is a fucking joke."

Talent

"TO's have treated CS talent like absolute human garbage for years now."

• RL says that people like Sean Gares and ddk switching over to Valorant isn't for financial reasons because they are making less over there.
• He points out that TO's can't even give talent a 3 month in advance calendar.
• Because of the pandemic TO's won't hire certain people and some people are working more hours for the same money.
• He says we as a community don't respect journalists enough which is why we don't have good journalists.
  • He also says DeKay is leaving the scene soon and that Thorin is close to leaving also
• He says he had to talk a caster down from quitting and was struggling to find reasons.
• He says that DreamHack told Vince they would hire him but not if he wants to stick with dusT and says that this is the norm in esports. "Constant leveraging of people against each other." and says this is why we don't have a talent union.
• New gen casters are getting put into shit situations and the community's reaction to them is adding fuel to the fire
• He says the reason Moses left was because of the terrible conditions
• He says that Anders had to constantly leave his family and kid because someone fucked up or broke promises and had to constantly tell his kid to their face that "daddy can't be home this weekend."
• He says that esports has always been a lie to sell you this dream, "Meanwhile there's about 2% of the cunts getting all the checks."

Valve

"Anything that Riot does, is better than Valve's inaction"

• Slasher says that the larger aspect of esports as a whole compared to other entertainment mediums and Valve's lack of inattention are the bigger problems. He continues saying that the fact that Valve let their game be ran as an esport, they need to take on the responsibilities of it.
  • Both Slasher and RL wants Valve to take control but not on the level of Riot Games, there needs to be a balance.
• In case it was ever a question: Gabe Newell has been to 0 CSGO Majors.
• RL calls Valve out saying they could have done something during the gambling era.
• He says Valve used to come to the majors, but doesn't think they do anymore.
• RL had met with Valve at the Cluj-Napoca Major and had tried to appeal iBP's indefinite punishment and had also gave Brax's life story:
  • A recent family member passed away, they had lost a lot of income, they had to live in trailer, iBuyPower did not pay any salaries, and was pressured by family to make money who didn't support his career.
  • RL said that Valve told him, "How dare you try and make us feel guilty." "We shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the only thing that matters that we need to make players afraid of: cheating and match fixing"
  • RL also tried to share other info about match fixing and nothing came of it
• RL points out that Source 2 or a new engine is not something you will want based on the experience of transitioning from CS 1.6 to CS:S. "Valve's track record with brand new engines being launched, not fucking great from what I remember."
• Slasher says "If there is anything the community should do, is pressure Valve to hire a community manager."
  • They say that we need a commissioner, a community manager (not the person who runs the Twitter who posts memes all day), then we need to have a circuit
• RL reiterates that Valve doesn't care about CS esports and says they need to change the culture at Valve to make them care about CS esports
  • Slasher says a systemic problem is making it so working on CSGO would be a bad decision for you as an employee for Valve
• He also hasn't talked to Valve in ages and have sent over bugs and cheats and doesn't get emails back anymore
• Slasher says we should be directing attention at the developer leads, pointing out Ido Magal, if he even is still the project lead
  • RL thinks that Ido and Brian are the only people that "vaguely even give a fuck about CS" and were the only people that RL recalled that actually read Reddit and paid attention from time to time
• "It is really fucking precarious. Somebody has got to step the fuck up and start giving a shit"
  • Slasher suggests org owners, with CSPPA, with ESIC, with TOs have a concerted effort against Valve
• "Riot Games are doing better things than Valve in the esports space" which is something RL didn't think he'd say.
• "People who used to be talent, working with unions, arguing with other talent, when the unions fucked them over, can't understand their perspective, TOs fucking over broadcast talent, broadcast talent wanting to leave and go and work for orgs, orgs having no money, Valve might take coaches away because all the coaches are cheating, ESIC has about 4 people in a fucking call doing the investigations, everyone thinks they're spies for ESL, ESL are just the evil fucking overlords wanting to rule the scene and will just somehow, like cockroaches outliving a nuclear bomb, and Valve are in a fucking holiday in Hawaii thinking about the next Dota character because they don't give a fuck about us."

Closing Statements

"We've peaked. If we want to sustain and exist, now is the time to figure it out. No esports lasts as long as this, we've already done 8 years. We've already broke the records. We have got to figure out a way to coexist and drive the negative forces out and we need to do it as a collective and we're not doing that."

• RL compared the Counter-Strike scene to the people on the Titanic who ran around with guns robbing people while the boat was sinking.
• "We have given up on being a respectable esports scene." "We are now a conduit to make money for those who want to just milk it, just have one last ride, one last roll of the dice. It's done." "What a fucking mess. What have we done to our fucking scene?"
• "There's just too much self-interest driving all of this." "I don't see a way we stop the dominoes." "When it's that bad, when there's that many dishonest people that ESIC have to come out and say that if we punish them all there's no one left. What does that tell you?"
• "How many opportunities have we had to clean house? How many times have we said, 'this must never happen again', and another scandal." "The entire skins betting operations was the biggest criminal conspiracy in esports ever executed and no one has been punished for it." "The people who could be driving that don't want to."
• "Right now people are fans of those organizations because the scene has value. It is worth being a fan of Astralis because they are excellent at Counter-Strike. It is worth being a fan of s1mple because he is the best player in Counter-Strike, maybe the exception of ZywOo. If the scene is devalued, if the scene loses its meaning, those things lose its meaning too, and people will leave, people will stop tuning into the games. I have seen it happen in multiple esports, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I am getting big Brood War vibes right now and I don't like it."
• "The role you play in all of this as fans, as viewers, as listeners, as consumers of esports content, it's absolutely imperative that you know who the good guys are. It's absolutely imperative that you use your voice. It's absolutely imperative that when things are bad, you know who, at least, is trying to make them good, and you have to apply your criticism to the right targets."
  • He continues saying it's no good in continuing to attack ESIC and saying how they are bad, ESIC have it hard
• He says CSPPA are on the right side of the argument on BLAST but have been on the wrong side of many arguments many times.
  • "If you are not willing to stand along side the weakest member of the union, with the least amount of influence, and the least amount of power, then it is not a union at all and you shouldn't pose as one." "You wanna serve a bunch of special interest do it, everyone else in esports fucking does, but do not pose as something you are not." "We love the players. I've been fighting for players rights for as long as I've been able to, but the CSPPA is not what we needed."
    • "They are not applying the pressure to the right people, they are not fighting the right battles, they are not helping their weaker members."
• He says what orgs have done by keeping or hiring coaches is bad. "When you give up on holding an appreciable standard, you've lost the scene" "Competition matters, rules matter, punishments matter, achievements matter, excellence matters" "If you start stripping that away, you have nothing" "You guys need to take that knowledge and apply it sensibly."
• "Valve has sold you all down the river, they sold everyone in the esports scene down the river, tournament organizers are selling their talent down the river. Don't hate on them for sounding tired after a 16 hour day. Don't hate on them because the hype for a matchup they've seen for the 20th time in the past 3 months, they can't be as excited or it sounds contrived. Support your guys, they're there for you, these are your people."
• "This community has got to start acting like one for the first fucking time. Just put the petty shit away, let's try and fix this fucking scene while we still have one to save."
• "You can't rely on Valve, you can't rely on ESL, you can't rely on the CSPPA, you can't rely on anyone." "Once again, it's gonna be the likes of us, the amateurs, the people who give a fuck, rolling up our sleeves and grafting." "I'm old and tired and I don't want to have to do it again. People need to pick up the torch and do it."
  • "Like Michal did, like Dudenhoeffer did. You see something wrong, fix it. You see somebody doing something wrong, call it out. If you think something could be better, let people know."
• "Vote with your wallets if you're not happy with the direction Valve goes in. If when we do get to the Major, they serve up another subpar, same old bullshit stickers and signatures package again, do not buy it."
  • "You're a powerful block and if you use it correctly we can fucking avert this disaster."
• "I'm not doing another year in this broken, bust-up fucking scene, where everyone is miserable, everyone is broke, everyone is tired, and everyone is trying to fucking rob everyone else, blind, while the fucking people who are meant to be protecting you, are just fucking enhancing it and lining their own pockets."
  • "I'm not doing it anymore and you shouldn't want to do it either."
• "I stand by every fucking thing I said. I mean it, because this game fucking matters to me, this scene fucking matters to me. I put my life into this, my adult life, and to see it in this state is fucking sad."

(NB: for those who think ‘spoiler’ doesn’t go far enough - this post contains a theory about the role of an actor listed in the final 2 episodes on imdb - based only on his character name, previous roles & real-life physical appearance. In other words - ***IMDB Spoiler***)
Will Purcell is found dead, placed in the pose of his communion photo (taken by a Priest from St Michael’s Church of the Ozarks), and with straw dolls found leading to the scene (made by Patty Faber of the same church). Patty says that she sold these dolls to a black man with a filmy eye, these dolls were given to the children by two ghosts at Halloween, and the Priest says Julie was excited about seeing her Aunt (she has none).
​
The children had been lying to their parents about a secret playspot where they played Dungeons & Dragons, & had been given a bunch of new-ass toys - some of which had a third party's fingerprints on. Several statements place a white woman, a black man with a filmy eye/scarring, and an ‘upscale’ brown Sedan near to the playspot, murder scene & devil’s den in the months leading to and night of the murder.
​
Sam Whitehead says many black men sustained injuries whilst working on the chicken line. Lucy Purcell worked on the chicken line for Hoyt - who’s daughter (let's call her Heiress Hoyt) lost her child. This black man - let’s call him Junius (similar to the Latin 'juvenis', meaning 'young'/'children') - and let's say he looks exactly like this (actor Steven Williams, decent body of work, listed by imdb as cast as Junius for the final two episodes https://www.reddit.com/TrueDetective/comments/al6hkc/this_who_we_lookin_for_ppl/) could have sustained a facial & optical injury working on the chicken line, but his attitude/behaviour in his dealings with Hoyt in subsequent compensation conversations impressed the Hoyts, & maybe he ends up getting a much better job within the organisation, as an aide to Heiress Hoyt, say. Maybe he's romantically intertwined with the Heiress, I dunno. He buys himself a fancy brown Sedan once he's in his new role. Anyway, he's her right hand man, & following the loss of her child, Junius is directed to begin scouting children that the Heiress can Angelina Jolie (adopt/give a better life) to replace the one she lost.
Junius knows Lucy from the chicken line, her lifestyle & negative feelings towards her marriage and motherhood. He also suspects abuse within the home, given the way she talks (perhaps he even witnesses her beating her kids after work sometime). He works Lucy Purcell, & he is the conduit putting her & the Heiress in contact with eachother. He could have gotten photos for the Heiress of Julie & Will (communion photo) either from Lucy or from the Church that he bought the straw dolls, whilst scouting for new children (he bought lots of dolls 'for his nieces and nephews', says Patty Faber).
Lucy arranges meetings between the children & the Heiress with Junius supervising. Lucy tells the children not to tell their father about the meets. The Heiress falls in love with Julie. Sure, she could go down the adoption route for any child she liked. But this is the child that she wants. And the heady combo of being a millionaire spoilt brat who never hears the word 'No', & the mental health issues that come with losing a child & wanting *THIS* child to replace the one she lost is too great. Those around her have to make it work. She runs her plan past her father, Hoyt Sr, and he is livid. He pours cold water on it right away. Terrible idea. Warns her not to entertain it. But the Heiress doesn't care. She's got her heart set on Julie now. The Heiress directs Junius to arrange for Lucy to part with Julie for a fee (this cannot be done legally because Tom would not agree to it) and to set up Julie with a new identity. She waits for Hoyt Sr to be out of the country, on safari in Africa, before she snaps her plan into action.
​
Lucy is drawn in by the money, being able offload the motherhood responsibilities she never really wanted, and is comforted by the knowledge that Julie will go on to lead a better life (“children shud laugh”). Julie wasn't planned, she never wanted more kids, & at least now Julie can go on & experience tons of shit that she never would have growing up at Shoepick Lane (Shoepick?/Choupique? Choupique is caviar, right? The valuable offspring of mudfish/swamp trout? Damn, I need to crack a window up in here..). It's for the best. She gets paid, and Julie gets better. And fuck Tom, he, in all likelihood, isn't Julie's baby Daddy anyway (the Purcell grandparents allude to as much at the funeral, saying Tom was welding offshore in Texas when Julie was conceived). That's how Lucy feels about it. Maybe she says as much to the Heiress. Maybe not. But when the Heiress learns this, she begins to tell Julie that her parents aren't her parents, that SHE in actual fact is her real parent, and that Julie will be going somewhere not only better, but her TRUE home. Julie is now onboard. She's an aristocrat, and going home! The Heiress' mental health continues to decline. In her trauma, her lost daughter and Julie are now beginning to merge into one in her mind. She's losing the ability to distinguish between the two.
​
The children did not know that Nov 7th, 1980 would be their last day together, that their mother has sold one of them, as they cycle off to the meet spot. Maybe Will wasn't even supposed to go this time, but he goes out of protective instinct for his sister. When they realise what’s happening, they reject it. Will defends his sister, and distracts the adults, telling his sister to scatter & hide - he’ll find her later using his scouting ability (Hays in 1980 "you can imagine that little boy looking out for his sister. He was trying to defend her. That's what happened to him"). She flees on her bike. Will breaks free and cycles off in the opposite direction, forcing Hoyt & Junius to chase one or the other. They ignore Will, and pursue Julie. She's the target (West in 1980 - "they never wanted the boy"). After some time, thinking the danger has passed, Will tries to find his sister, asking Freddie Burns at Devil’s Den if he’s seen her. But Freddie chases him off. He runs back into the woods and back into Junius & the Heiress, who have found Julie and are taking her away. He tries to stop them taking her, and gives them little choice if they want their plan to succeed. During the struggle he is killed. To placate Julie, they place him in the cave in his communion pose (this is the Heiress' crazy way of trying to suppress Julie's screams & also convince her that her new Mom is compassionate, everything'll be okay) before marking the spot with straw dolls from his bag and leaving with Julie. They drive off, away from Devil's Den, in Junius' fancy brown Sedan.
​
On the way out of Arkansas, Junius contacts his cop on the Hoyt payroll and tells him to get on-scene to make sure he's in a position to tamper with any canvassing of neighbours or potential witnesses in the area. He’ll get a great job out of this off the Hoyts in the private sector, he’ll make sure if that. Sure enough, all mentions of a brown Sedan driving around, away from Devil’s Den, a black man with a filmy eye/scarring, by several neighbours are not included in field reports. The farmer was also interviewed by a white man with a badge immediately after the abduction, but this was not submitted either. The Hoyt Cop does his job well, & Hoyt’s Ozark Children's Outreach Centre charity disrupts the investigation with the reward, flooding the task force with bogus tips (Hoyt Sr knows nothing of this in Africa - he's left his corporation in the trusty stewardship of the Heiress, who makes the most of his resources while he’s gone). Finally, Junius completes the picture by passing evidence to the Hoyt Cop to plant on the Wrongfully Convicted Man - closing the case in 1980. Shortly after, the Hoyt Cop leaves the force & begins his six-figure salary job.
​
When Lucy realises what's happened to Will, that something terrible and unplanned has happened, she loses it. Her initial reaction is to blame & hit Tom ("All you had to do was watch HIM"). Although Will's death was unplanned, Lucy knows she's out of options. She has no choice. She has to stay silent. Telling the truth would result in either her murder or her imprisonment for child trafficking. After all, she played a part in this too. Junius calls her to underscore this warning. Later, seeing Tom's anguish, Lucy sends a ham-fisted note to her own home to inform the task force & her husband that Julie has not been harmed. The FBI agent even says ”the envelope’s handwritten, this isn’t a brainiac”. Lucy stays silent, and descends into alcoholism & despair. Out of guilt, she later commits suicide in Vegas, where she spends the last of the money the Heiress gave her (Sharon Stone in Casino-style). Prior to her death, hearing of her addiction (or that she was throwing around a lot of loose cash), her cousin, Dan O'Brien, visits her under pretence of caring for her welfare. Lucy tells Dan what she did before offing herself. Or maybe she didn't off herself. Maybe Dan's just a greedy fuck who sees the money Lucy's carrying, how she's suicidal, and sees the win-win. He spikes her needle with a hot shot, takes the money, & goes to find Junius to extort the Heiress for more. He's just as stupid & greedy as Lucy was. Junius brutally silences him, dumping his body, broken in a hundred places, in a quarry in Missouri.
​
Julie never accepts her new family after witnessing Will's death, and as soon as she is able, she flees, seeing her only choice as living as a homeless kid on the street (in 2015, Hays foggily recollects “in 90 I found the video footage, we learned about Julie Purcell, that group of street kids”). Approaching the authorities is not an option for her, as they would simply return her to the family she believes beat & sold her (she doesn’t yet know her mother is dead, believes Tom isn't her birth Daddy; & the peephole wasn’t a peephole, the children would pass messages to one another when Lucy would beat them). The Heiress despatches Junius & his mercenaries to hunt Julie down in 1990. Junius knows they can’t convince Julie to return to her new home - they just have to silence her. Hays was right, the clock is ticking - they need to find her first. And they don't.
​
In Episode 2, a website Elisa Montgomery shows Hays in 2015 is titled ‘The Purcell Murders’ - plural. Sadly, I think the Heiress' people get to Julie first. Her murder in 1990 causes her father, Tom, to commit suicide, devastating West. Or maybe the task force does find Julie, and returns her to Tom. Maybe Roland is real happy with himself, & promises Tom 'everything's gonna be OK from now on, buddy'. But right before she has a chance to settle in, be rehabilitated, & talk to the police about what happened to her & Will, Junius finds her & kills her. Either way, the end result is Julie is dead, & Tom takes his own life - and Roland is crushed with anguish. The Heiress' mental health completely implodes. West & Hays are pressured to withhold any evidence that does not support the conviction of the Wrongfully Convicted Man, and Hays, insisting they pursue the 'black man with scarring & white woman' is forced out for his insubordination. West knows Hays is right, but goes about things differently. He's a more sophisticated political beast, and doesn't have quite as big a mouth. He knows they'd need police resources to solve this case. So he bites his tongue, plays along with the Attorney General's request, and watches as his buddy gets canned. The case is closed, and it would appear that up to 2015, the Heiress' conspiracy to abduct Julie, which resulted in the murders of both Will & Julie, has not yet been publicly exposed.
​
My theory is that Hays continues to pursue the case in 90. Off the force, he will need all the investigatory help that he can get from Roland & Amelia to go rogue as a true detective and solve the case - just like Rust needed Marty. West is a careerist, but privately devastated at what happened to Tom Purcell, a man he steered from suicidal depression back to functioning sobriety only to lose him because they were too slow in getting to Julie first (or failing to protect her adequately once they did). He is onboard all the way. He owes Tom for what happened to him & his kids. He, like Marty in S1, 'has a debt', and just like Marty, he will bring police resources into play on the DL to repay that debt.
​
So - what ways can they go to crack the case wide open? :
- Option 1: Find Junius. Get that list of all work-related injuries sustained at the Hoyt plant by African-Americans. Check their vehicles, fingerprint all of them by open or clandestine means, and correspond fingerprints to those found on the children’s toys (requiring West's police access). This should give them a hit on Junius, who will give them the Heiress, who will give them what happened to Julie & Will.
- Option 2: Find The Hoyt Cop. Rundown all the police who worked canvassing during the ’80 investigation. Locate all the neighbours, which ones feel their statements were either redacted or suppressed, and whose signature is on them? Where are those cops now, what did they do, who left the police during or after the investigation, and who has links to Hoyt? Who came into money during or just after 1980? Who made large purchases, home, car during or after 1980? The evidence that was planted on the Wrongfully Convicted Man - who found it? Who processed it? Whose signatures are on the scene? West can provide that information. Once you got a list, take that damn photo array to the farmer. Have him ID the cop who visited him. This should give them the hit on the Hoyt Cop, who will give them Junius & the Heiress.
- Option 3: ID The Sender of the Letter. Compare family handwriting samples with the envelope handwriting the letter was sent in. West would need to supply this. This would give them Lucy, but she is dead, and so can't be compelled to talk. But at least now they know that this wasn't an abduction. This was child trafficking. Which gives them Option 4.
- Option 4: Follow The Money. Investigate Lucy’s finances. Child trafficking is highly profitable. If there was a transaction, the money must be somewhere, & come from someplace. Although, it would be difficult for West to investigate this without attracting the attention & fury of his superiors.
​
The only route here that protects West while still using his police resources without his superiors noticing is for Hays & West to pursue the Hoyt Cop (probably now an ex-cop, in a better paid role - similar to Junius, thanks to the Heiress). I think they find him (this is the guy - https://www.reddit.com/TrueDetective/comments/alk2ml/theory_the_suited_manwhat_hays_left_in_the_woods/), and beat him heavily for information. The ex-cop gives them Junius - everything he did, killing Will, snatching Julie, interfering with the investigation, and having Julie killed... But he senses he won’t make it out of this interrogation.. He makes a move, & tries to grab Roland's gun. Hays draws quickly & guns him down. This wasn't part of the plan. They're murderers now. The Hoyt Cop joins the Vietcong in Hays' 2015 hallucination of all the men he has killed. But now they gotta make this look right. They bury the Hoyt Cop deep in the woods (he is who Hays' 2015 hallucination of Amelia is referring to when she taunts him about what he ‘left in the woods’) before burning their clothes (that's what he's burning in the BBQ in the 'coming soon in the weeks ahead' trailer). This changes everything. They know who they're after now. But they killed their way getting there. There's no going back.
​
They track down Junius, and Roland needs no invitation to deal with him. "You had the last one, Purple. This one's all mine..." He looks at Hays. "For Tom." Hays watches as Roland brutally beats & tortures Junius. Finally satisfied, Roland pulls out his gun and takes aim at Junius' head. But before he can execute him, a familiar hand pushes his arm down once more. "Don’t. Wait a minute. I want to know the whole story" says Hays. "Tell me why. What was all this for, a paedophile ring? A trafficking ring? Who's running the show? How many other girls are out there?" Junius says it was neither. It was all about Julie. He tells about the Heiress, her lost child, her trauma, how he tried to get her to go down the adoption route, but once she met Julie, it was all about her. And Lucy agreed to it. She got paid. It was win-win-win: a willing mother's pain soothed, an unwilling mother's burden lifted, & a better life for a little girl. Or at least, that was the plan. But Will wasn't supposed to be there. It wasn't supposed to go down like that. And once Julie fled the nest, having witnessed that, they could never let her talk. He never really had a choice. Hays is rocked. But Roland is unmoved. Still focused. "We done here, Purple?" Hays nods, and moves aside, stunned by this revelation. Roland puts a bullet in Junius' good eye. "Now they match, motherfucker." He goes to spit on Junius in his vengeful rage, but Hays pulls him off. “DNA.... DNA, man! C’mon! Get yourself together.”
​
This leaves only the Heiress. They track her down to the castle-type home drawn in Julie's pictures. But when they finally catch up to her, they look at each other, stunned. She's now almost completely vegetative in her mental collapse. Hays shakes his head. No, man. We can't do this. Let's just do this legit. Put all what we got so far on the table and send her ass to jail. Roland darkens. He can't believe what he's hearing. He shakes his head. "Im sorry partner, but u whistlin’ Dixie on this. Think. Think! Think on what she done. Will! Julie! Tom! A whole entire family. Wiped out like a turkey grease spot. Because of this person. This woman. Now, she got to pay. And even if we got all our evidence admitted in court, we'd surely go down with it....... Junius? The Hoyt Cop? We'd be in the jail cell right next to hers. Except she ain't going to jail, son. When Daddy Hoyt gets wind of this shit, he's gonna spend every last million he has getting his daughter off the hook. She's crazy, your honour. Diminished capacity. She never done nothing, your honour, she was just rambling crazy! They’ll put as much of it as they can on Junius. Best case scenario, she eats the manslaughter wrap, cushy psychiatric discharge to a mental facility. She'll live out her last days in pretty much the same way she doing now. Comfortable. Warm bed. TV. Regular nappy changes. Visits from family whenever she wants. Don't you see? Don’t you SEE? Whether she eats the conviction or not, her life won't change. It won't make a difference. She won't pay for what she done. And to let her skate, after doing what she done? No. We got no choice. We got to put her down for real. For good."
But Hays believes in a fair kill. He hunts boar because if you miss, they can kill you too. He'll only hunt deer with a bow - & never with bait or using a stand. He'll only pull the trigger when shot at. He killed the Hoyt cop because he drew him down first, and he killed in Vietnam because they were shooting at him. No. This ain’t him. They've gone all the way, done so much in this case together, but this, he can't do. The Heiress is defenceless. It’s not a fair kill. Hays puts a hand on Roland’s shoulder. “I'm sorry, partner." Hays walks away as Roland takes a deep breath, & puts his leather gloves on. He takes long, shaky, multiple swigs from his hip flask. And then he murders the Heiress.
​
The Heiress doesn't appear in Hays 2015 vision of all the people he killed, because he put it on Roland. That ends their friendship in '91. Hays can't look at him anymore - and Roland can't look at himself. Roland hits the bottle big time. He's glad he got Junius for Tom. He had to do that. But murdering a woman with your own hands? That's not him. But now, it is him. This was something he never thought would be in his life. And now he can’t shake it. There’s no one he can talk to about it. He'll never forgive Hays for putting all that weight on him. His drinking collapses his relationships. His girlfriend doesn't understand why he's lit all hours of the day, always angry, always tense, or won't talk about it. The nail in the coffin of their relationship comes when State Attorney General Kindt figures out that Roland's been pursuing a closed case.
Kindt walks into West’s office & closes the door. Roland looks weathered, still wearing his hangover, but lights up when he sees a real friend for a change. “Mornin’ Sir”... Until he sees the look on Kindt’s face. “Take a seat, West.” "You were given strict orders Lieutenant West. Your remit was to lead a task force supporting the conviction of the Wrongfully Convicted Man. The murder of Julie Purcell closed that case. Now, Hays wanted to go off all half-cocked and pursue 'a black man with scarring', was it? And start running down former cops from '80? He wanted to go off running his own detail unsupervised. So he got canned. And lookie here, in the news. A black man with scarring found shot up. And a former cop from '80 is reported missing by his family. Now, I'm not saying it's you, West, but there's no way Hays could have done this without access........ I sure liked you....... But you're done. Turn in your badge and gun by the end of the day." Kindt gets up to leave, before turning around. "But because I liked you, I'll be fair. Drop on your sword. If you resign today, and you keep your mouth shut about all of this? You can keep the pension. Your good name. Your freedom. Or we can go that other way. I'll make sure you end up in the same cell as half the men you put away. You ever hear what happens to cops in prison?...............Yeah.......... Good day to you...... Mr West.” West knows this is checkmate. He's toast. He got no moves here. He is constructively canned, and walks into his home to tell his girlfriend he just lost his job. They don't last long after that. West lives alone with his demons, bitter & haunted, into old age.
​
24 years pass.
​
By 2015, Hays has been robbed of his memory of these events by his dementia. Hays does not solve the case in 2015. He simply figures out that he already done solved it in 1990! Maybe, with his condition, this isn't the first time he's gone through this process. He's trapped in a locked room. Having the same dream. Again. And again. And again. Time is a flat circle for him now. 2015 Roland knows this. He sees his friend's condition. He just doesn't wanna go back into that head place. Maybe this is the first time Hays has approached him about this, maybe it's the 10th time. But Roland don't wanna know, don't wanna go back there. The bleakest time of his life. He smoked his own career to make that shit right. But the murders they done. Tom's suicide. Their failure to protect Julie, breaking his promises to Tom, all whilst he was steering the task force. And the murder of a woman (the Heiress) by his hand. All that pain, death & anguish. "Nah, man. I don't wanna think about that shit or eat no boar meat, man. Motherfucker. Just get me two fingers of Southern Comfort."
​
The purpose of the 2015 timeline is twofold: 1. to help Hays remember (maybe not for the first time, but for the final time) that he brought satisfactory closure to the case, and also to his life. Amelia is dead, & Roland won’t go beyond cryptic hints about what they done. But Hays’ visions of Amelia & interactions with Roland & Elisa help him finally piece together & remember what they did. He finally reads the closing chapter of his Wife’s book, which contains a warm & loving tribute to him, with hints that she knew exactly what he & West went through to bring justice to the children's killers. What it cost them. What it cost him. In their souls, their careers. Carried for life, like a weight. And that in the end, as a marriage, they did live a genuinely loving, loyal & happy life together. And now, satisfied in remembering that, Hays can take the handgun from his drawer and return peacefully to be with his wife ("I may be deciding I don't want to stay alive without your mother"), whilst also simultaneously tying up the one last loose end of the case....
The second purpose of the 2015 timeline is to blow the Hoyt corporation & the political careelegacy of State Attorney General Kindt into the ether, and overturn the conviction of the Wrongfully Convicted Man. This couldn't be done in the past, because in blowing the lid off this mess, Hays knew he would be exposing himself to a murder charge, & possible retribution from the Hoyt corporation. But in 2015, with the Hoyt family mostly deceased, and no death row awaiting him in the afterlife, Hays is comfortable blowing the lid off this godforsaken mess, giving Roland some sweet revenge on his old boss Kindt, & giving the Wrongfully Convicted Man's family the peace of mind they deserve. Because now that he has found peace of mind & closure, Hays realises that everybody deserves peace of mind & closure. And he wants to give it to them.
After Hays' funeral, his son, Henry, finds a note directing him to the dictaphone, which details from start to finish the real truth about the Heiress' child trafficking activity, Junius, the murders of Julie & Will, Lucy's complicity, the Hoyt cop, Kindt’s purposeful obstruction of justice.... and Henry gives it all to Elisa.
​
Elisa gets exactly what she wanted. True Criminal goes viral globally - Serial style - blowing the case wide open. Elisa obtains Sarah Koenig-style celebrity, but more importantly, this allows the Wrongfully Convicted Man's family to finally clear their father's name, with the reputation of the Hoyt corporation & the political career of State Attorney General Kindt blown to dust. Hays & West become folklore renegade heroes for their acts, just like Rust & Marty.
​
But Henry knows the details now shared could expose his father's old buddy Roland to a charge, despite his age. He owes that old man a visit, an explanation, maybe some modern legal advice on how to protect himself from the media & legal intrusion that's a-coming by pinning all the murders on his father, Wayne. He secretly loves that his father did that vigilante shit. He's happy for him to take the weight. Maybe Wayne already did put the weight on himself in the dictaphone message, maybe Henry taped over the bits that mentioned murder, but the media/law are still surely gonna come knocking for Roland at some point now, with questions. Cause this shit is worldwide. It's viral. Everybody’s gonna want a piece of Roland. They need to co-ordinate, he owes him that courtesy as a minimum.
​
The final shots of the season are of the family of the Wrongfully Convicted Man paying their private respects at the side-by-side graves of Wayne & Amelia Hays for salvaging their father's name (if the Wrongfully Convicted Man is Woodard, maybe it would be cool if they sung the Native American Warrior's Mourning Song with a solemn dignity, draping their father's Vietnam medals over Wayne's grave in respect https://youtu.be/uzf3bjyDNAY); and Henry Hays arriving at Roland West's home to give him the dictaphone, tell him what his Dad said, and co-ordinate.
As he arrives, Roland is hollering & hoo-eeeing with delight at his TV watching the news as the cuffs go on Gerald Kindt. They go outside & share a Soco dub on the porch in a knowing, satisfied silence. They look up, watching the big harvest moon. What it means to them. How before, it was just a reminder of the cold. Of all the pain. And now, how it floods everything with light. After some time, Roland glances at the dictaphone that Henry brought. Roland grins, looks toward the harvest moon, then, at peace with his past, finally, drawls "Y'know, sunnnn... The thing about yr Daddy.......... He always did have a big fuckin’ mouth". They laugh. Henry: "Yessir :) He sure did.. He sure did."
CREDITS.

Preface: 23 years old software developer speaking, +5 years of experience in the field.
Preface 2: I am copy/pasting my comment from an old post, because it's the undisputable truth and anyone who thinks they should buy the collections instead of pirating them, are idiots. Read till the end, and if you still doubt my words, read again. Maybe use critical thinking as well.
​
It just irks me, the fact that retarded millenial teenagers who are Gen-W, have a voice and an opinion, when they don't even have a fucking fixed income. It's pretty easy to have, just get into IT and anyone will hire you. Horrible as they were, fascist states of the past at least didn't have the negative perk of every fucking mongoloid retards speaking their mind as they waste Daddy's money.
​
What I'm trying to convey: When you are purchasing a game, you are NOT SUPPORTING the developers*
*Unless it's a small team of indie games, who are mostly directly related to the launch of the product.
​
Most AAA or AAAAA or AAAAAAAAa games are just software. Plain and simple. And how is software developed? How are developers retributed? Well lucky you, guys! You have a developer who has been programming for 5 years to tell you:
They are paid up-front. Me, my boss, the guys at CD Project Red. Every fucking single one gets a god-damn paycheck every month. THAT'S their salary.
When you are buying a game of a big company, like Konami, you are effectively paying the suit businessmen their service of being "middle men", between the developer and the customer. Which is a very needed function.
But we don't know how much they overcharge the final product. There is a reason indie games like WASTED or Delver or similar are tons of hours of fun, yet are less than 20$.
So, my point is: Fucking retards in this sub are usually advocating for the purchase of the shitty collection of outdated videogames, instead of just getting them for free on emulators (which was easily available ever since 2008 EIGHT HOLY SHIT THAT'S NEARLY 12 YEARS AGO!), all because of some bullshit "Support the devs / show you care!!!"
​
NO. You don't show you care by pumping money into a big machinery of a corporation. You show you care by speaking about Castlevania, making fanart of Castlevania, and playing Castlevania. Usually, CARING about Castlevania.
These retards have the exact same mindset of a Beta incel paying Stacy's every lunch, and then crying when she takes Chad's 7'' dick up her asshole.
NO. Giving out free money does not make your wishes come true, little zoom zoom.
​
Konami is a fucking SPORTS COMPANY: https://img.konami.com/ien/ir-data/statements/2019/en0509_ge7nwz.pdf
Page 6 you mongoloid Zoomer Millenials, READ NIGGA READ. Those are the financial numbers of Konami.
You can see that they earn 147 billion yens in their videogames - Suspicious, as we have no Castlevania: Adventures of Soma Cruz part 3. How do they earn so much?
MOBILE PHONE GAMES.
Lets go further: 31 billion in "Gaming and systems" - that's not vidya, that's PACHINKO machines, slots and casino games. neraly 64 billion (YES, SIXTY FOUR) in fucking SPORTS.
If we took vidya + their sports team, they would have 33% of income only from a god damn sweaty SPORTS team!!!
All in all, Konami's gainings come 46% from other ways, and 54% from "videogames", whichmost are nothing more than in-game transactions for the mobile phones.
Konami has NO interest in developing actual, worthy videogames, and that's why IGA was fired. Because IGA didn't give high enough numbers, prioritizing the production of faithful Castlevania videogames, instead of pumping up the revenue numbers.
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If you buy their shitty compilations, all you are doing is giving them free money, as they have NO intention of actually releasing a modern Castlevania videogame, and much less so with Bloodstained making direct competition.
​
What will happen in the future? They will probably wait until 2021-2022 to anounce that they've had a team developing a brand new Castlevania RPG, and release it then, after our beloved games are classics, and they can ressurect a strong hype.
And I have to explain such obvious things because the fandom is full of idiots. A shame, really.
​
tl;dr Handing out free money to the Twitch e-thot won't make her your girlfriend. Handing out free money for subpar content to Konami won't make them release good Castlevania games.
Fucking pirate them to the death, because it's worthless to give money to suit-men from big corporations, and the developers ain't seeing one fucking nickle of the money you are giving.
And if they are actually developing a game, that money comes from Konami's earnings in other media (microtransactions, their sports team sponsorships, the casino machines, etc...)
​
peace out, retards.

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Part 1:
"Oh, I love the way you look, your beautifully made up face with red bulbous lip and coal black eye make up, your great hair, long whore red slut claw nails and great legs spread wide to expose your hot booty ass and pretty clit pole. Your ultra micro minis are never too short and you fuck me slut heels are never too high. Love to see the photos of how you are going to look --- bimbo slut whore fuck and suck doll in action.
I want you to be my big titted platinum blond ultra glam bimbo slut whore fuck and suck shemale doll. Your hair highly teased and colored platinum blond. Your make up heavy slut whore glam makeup will permanently tattooed on your face, so that even after many face fuckings, you make will be whore perfect under the dry cum you wear on your face. And your whorey hot red very plump bulbous lips will be surgically enhanced so that everyone will know that your lips were made to attract and suck cock. Yes Whore Doll I will buy you huge HH breast implants with one inch nipples tattooed whore red. And your Bimbo red six inch nails that make it impossible to do anything but suck cock and fuck. Every finger will be adorned with large rings and you hands will be adorn with fingerless gloves. Three sets of big rhinestone hoop earrings and 5" rhinestone choker with a "D Ring" frame my whore's make up face ... Ready for sucking. Through the "D Ring" is a rhinestone and red velvet leash with which I lead and exhibit you to the world.
I command that Whore Doll continuously recite:
Whore Doll will only feel, perceive, live, and exist on their instinct to obey, suck, and fuck for Master Joe.
Whore Doll will only exist to be slutty, to be bimboish, to be submissive, and to have lots of perverted kinky lustful sex.
Whore Doll will only exist to wear tons of permanent gaudy heavy whore glam makeup, velvet or shiny satin hooker micro outfits, to wear the very highest stripper heels and very longest whore red nails.
Whore Doll will only exist to keep the sluttiest whore image possible through surgical modifications for a fake bimbo barbi plastic face, lips, huge HH size breast implants, dramatically reduced waist and feet that will be made for 10 inch and higher heels.
Whore Doll will only exist to be a whore, tramp, stripper, bimbo trophy toy doll object, escorts and a porn star.
Whore Doll will only exist to suck cock, be fucked, exhibited and humiliated in semi public and public places.
Whore Doll will be the fuck and suck bimbo whore doll lover of Master Joe and his dog Ram.
Whore Doll recalls every memory and thought sexdecillion more times intensely and vividly than the last.
Whore Doll will not understand or care about boredom, consciousness, time or the real world they merely exist in a state of constant lucid trance reality.
Whore Dolls will not question or become curious about their reality they can only accept and perceive their reality.
Any time a Whore Doll asks a dumb question she will become sexdecillion more times entranced, mindless, horny, submissive, bimboish, obedient, slutty, gaudy, and feminine as a Whore Doll.
Any time a Whore Doll goes against any mantra your sub conscious will repeat the mantra perfectly in their mind without them knowing it sexdecillion times.
I command that you dress in red velvet cheek shorts (like the slutty bimbo shorts you love) or 9 inch micro minis with a matching red velvet bra top that only covers the center of your slutty big tits. Your tits will be pierced to accept large dangling rhinestone earrings. To show off your bimbo piercing, each velvet bra top cup will be slit to allow the large rhinestone jewelry to dangle through the center of you bra.
You will always be in 9 inch stiletto fuck heels and adorned with 3 inch wide rhinestone ankle bracelets. In the winter you will wear very short white mink jackets lined in velvet. Otherwise you will wear velvet or leather biker jackets.
I will show you off to the world on a leash, rubbing and "feeling up" your bulbous tits, your bimbo booty and fuckous black fishnet covered legs. I will take you to the malls, clubs, casinos and other great places. Then I will command you to suck my cock and drink my cum. My nasty tramp will be placed on a diet of cum. My hot cock will fuck your slutty ass ... Ramming my bimbo slut into the wall. You will be fuck like the nasty whore you are. You will be shared with my friends and the world as my special slutty whore."
Part 2:
"Dearest Fuckous Bimbo Slut Whore Doll Harlot,
Oh my Fuck Doll, I love your fuckous kinky lustfully “slut meat” thoughts. You are such a hot decadent sinful Bimbo Slut Whore --- I love your decadent hedonistic whorey desires --- and your slut ways --- stroking you clit pole until your clit raged with cum --- I bet you licked up your cum. I love your decadent whorey displays and slutty actions.
You will live a life of extreme ultra glam decadence, lustful perversion and total exhibition without any inhibition was so ever. I will dress you in velvet, satin, rubber latex or lycra PVC ultra micro minis worn very very low on your hips and cut so low in front to exposed your body down to just above your clit pole cock and cut so low in the back to exhibit your whorey ass crack (easy for Daddy to finger in public) and skimpy top with you highest heeled fuck me shoes/ankle boots and black stockings. Your hair must be a highly teased large hair do and your slut face must be heavy made up -- whorey foundation make up -- whore eyes with heavy eye linier extended just past your eye, eye shadow, long false eye lashes and mascara -- the reddest pouty slut lips outlined to make them attract every cock in the room. Red slut nails as long as possible and large rhinestone jewelry (earrings, collar, ankle bracelets, at least 2 rings on each slut finger, bracelets, noise ring and belly jewelry). Your slutty face will have permanent ultra glam Barbi dimples --- each face cheek will be pierce with 1 carat diamond studs to create the ultimate Bimbo Barbie dimples (just like one of the bimbo slut whores on Rock of Love). I love my Bimbo Slut Whore to also wear multiple very large hoop earrings. I will be very proud to display my slut whore and I share your decadent desire that it “makes it kinkier when they know“. I look forward to holding you, kissing you, fondling you and feeling you up and ultimately fucking your whorey red mouth and you booty pussy ass.
I am a six figure salary executive who is financing the surgical enlargement of my Bimbo Slut Whore’s breast to “HH” tits by a plastic surgeon and if needed, removing select ribs to reduce your waste. Your nipples will be enlarged to the size of silver dollars and each will be pierced during your surgery. My Bimbo Slut’s lips will be enlarge surgically to provide pronounced “whore fuck lips“, ready for a long cigarette or a large cock. And yes Whore Doll, you will wear rhinestone and diamond ultra max glam "grills" in your mouth except when you are sucking cock. What a vision... heavy glam whore doll make up, highly teased massive platinum blond hair, ultra max ghetto whore rhinestone and diamond grill framed by extremely plump bulbous velvet red whore doll lips. At clubs and bars you open your whore doll lips and slutty exhibiting… pumping your tongue in and out with three piercings and tattooed tongue with the words "WHORE DOLL" between your ultra max ghetto whore rhinestone and diamond grill.
After two months of practice in platform heels gradually increased from six to nine inch heels, you feet will be surgically modified to walk comfortably in 8, 9 or even 10 inch slut fuck heels. Yes, the nail salon will add extremely long 6-inch claws that will need to be maintained weekly. Such Slut Claws will render you incapable of doing anything but fucking, sucking or exhibiting your slutty whore body at my command.
Your clit pole will be adorned with a big gold ring with a multi-karat rock and I will insert your favorite remote controlled vibrating butt plug in your slutty cunt ass. You would look so great in a white velvet ultra micro mini (yes, I love my Bimbo Fuck Doll to be in micro minis less than 8 inches long --- your skirts are never too short) with matching thong and fingerless gloves. Your large bulbous bimbo breasts displayed in a matching white velvet bra slit for your long dangling rhinestone nipple jewelry. Because most bra tops will only cover the center of tits on a Bimbo Slut with HH tits, Daddy loves to show off his love investment in enhanced boobs for my Bimbo Fuck Slut Whore in this way. Your fuckous legs will be covered with black fishnet stocking, short white patent leather platform boots with nine-inch heels and 4-inch wide crystal boot chains on each boot. Daddy’s Bimbo cock sucker teases up here big platinum hair to nearly a foot high and almost as wide, heavy makes up her whorey hot face and adds inch long eye lashes with heavy black mascara that “pumps up the volume“. Each ear is adorned with four sets of large crystal dangling earrings and a matching 4 inch wide matching choker with a large D Ring for wrist restraints and a leash is displayed around my slut’s neck. The right side of my slut noise is also pierced with a rhinestone chain connecting to a fifth hole in her ear. Daddy’s Bimbo Tramp also has two tongue piercing and a belly button piercing. By now, my fuckous slut whore's red nails are at least 6 inches long and growing with at least 10 rings on each clawed hand. Because you are such a whore, masturbating her slut pussy in public, your Daddy restrains you clawed hands using rhinestone restraints that hook on you choker D Ring and connect to locking rhinestone bracelets on each wrist (over your long white velvet fingerless glovers). Your short white mink biker jacket and a long cigarette dangling from you lips finishes off my bimbo's outfit.
Before we go out to dinner, we have champagne and my whore's enhanced bee stung red lips sucks my large thick cock to completion and swallows my cum. When we arrive at the parking garage in Daddy’s new black Cadillac, I escort you out of the car. You don’t bother to pull down you micro mini skirt so that it is now only cover 5 inches, leaving all of your crotch and part of your ass exposed. Oh, you are such a exhibitionistic Bimbo Slut Whore --- I through you on to the hood of the black Cadillac --- What a vision, your foot high teased up platinum blond hair rising from the hood like an ornament -- Slut clawed arms wide apart and clutch each fender -- White mink and velvet whore contrasting against the shiny black hood (the way a 5 karat diamond ring contrasts with the black velvet box it sits in). I mount my Bimbo Fuck Slut and ram my cock into her booty pussy ass until we both cum with pleasure. After the pussy reaming, I command that you lick up all the cum from the hood of the car.
At the dimly lighted restaurant, I fondle your large HH tits, finger your ass pussy and rub your whorey clit through your thong. I order a double shot of vodka in a drinking glass for you to make a special drink. Holding the glass to the tip of your pretty clit pole and you piss into the glass, stir and drink the double vodka and piss cocktail. We then passionately kiss and feel each other. After dinner, my platinum big haired Bimbo moves under the table and sucks my cock.
After paying the bill we stroll out side, when you say you have to piss again. Daddy tells you to piss in the alley, hoping that others will see my nasty slut pissing in the streets. After my hot fuck slut is finished, Daddy pull up your short velvet micro mini, pull down you thong and remove you vibrator and ram my cock with enough force to knock you against the brick wall. After what seems like an hour of back door fucking, you also cum. What a slut ... after being fuck up the ass, the sight of a heavy make up whore with platinum big hair, displays gobs of cum dripping from her fishnet legs for Daddy’s exhibition to all. As we walk from the alley, three large black high school age males ask me to share my slut whore with them. One boy pulls out his large fat rod and shoves it in my Fuck Whore’s mouth, a second black stud rams his cock in your whorey lubricated ass and the third black boy slides his cock between your huge bimbo tits --- jerking and pounding until his cream cum covers your face and body. My Bimbo Fuck Whore is fucked into a lust frenzy with here big teased platinum blond hair bobbing up and down and her huge tits bouncing in a lusty fever. After three rounds of shoving, ramming and sucking the black boys each shove a $100 bill in your white velvet bra. Daddy will use this money for buying my whore more slut wear and make up. While Daddy could not resist the opportunity of sharing is Bimbo Whore Slut with young street blacks; he usually arranges sharing orgies in penthouse suites in the best hotels.
At night, I will keep you safe in your room covered with red velvet walls, mirrored ceilings and floor. Depending on Daddy’s wishes and my sluts behavior, she will sleep either bound in her heart shaped black velvet bed or in a red and gold velvet cage within the bedroom.
Love Joe
XOXOXOXOX"
SUPER SPECIAL RARE Part 3:
"My Very Dearest Cum Slut Whore Little Miss Harlot Doll,
My Fuck Doll, I command that you becum my Decadent Super Trophy Bimbo Slut Whore -- sluttiest, trashiest, nastiest, hedonistic, sinful cock candy whore in heat. I am looking for a nasty, trashy “teased up” platinum blond cock whore with ultra micro minis that are never too short and large breasts that are never too big… driven by the desire for decadent lustful pleasure, perversion, ultra glam transformation/modification and total exhibition without any inhibition what so ever. I want to display my Bimbo Slut Whore for all to see --- fondling and feeling you up in public --- fucking and sucking --- and whoring you to friends.
Oh, my Bimbo Fuck Doll, I want to fulfill your dreams, including large implant HH tits with pierced silver dollar nipples, your waist reduced surgically (even Barbi would be jealous) and your hot whorey lips pumped up to the max -- creating a red whorey inflated bulbous pout that appears that you are always sucking an invisible cock. Your hair will be volumized with hair extensions and hair weaves into a large teased up foot high platinum blond hair do. Your 6 inch slut claws will be grown to 9 inches. Your feet will be surgically modified so that you will be very comfortable in 9 and 10 inch heels, will no longer be able to walk in any shoe or boot with less than 6 inch heels. Your eye brows will be shaved and permanent black highly arched eye brows will be tattooed on your slut face. Eventually heavy whore make up will also be tattooed on your slut face, but you’ll insist on enhancing your permanent make up with dramatic accents.
For breakfast you have hot cum. After I fuck you red bulbous whore lips and you swallow my throbbing cock's cum, we will passionately French kiss while I finger your ass and rub your clit to completion. Daddy will then fuck your slut pussy ass hole, ramming my Bimbo Slut Whore against the red velvet wall of your room with force. As we cum, you shake with pleasure and scream obscenities that only Satan could have authored.
Two large gold poles are located in the center of your red velvet walled bed room with mirrored ceiling and floor. During the daytime, I tie my Bimbo Whore against the poles with your legs tie with coarse rope so that your slut crotch is wide open for a e-camera to photograph online. You are wearing custom 16 inch heeled black velvet short ballet boots. Since your legs are lashed tightly against the gold poles with rope, my Bimbo Slut Whore has no trouble standing straight up in 15 inch ballet boots. Each hand with, now, 7 in slut claws is tied tightly with red velvet rope that is threaded through a pulley in the ceiling and back down to where the velvet rope is tie my Bimbo Slut Whores large nose ring. Such is the position of the velvet rope, that if you try to rest or relax your arms, the pulley driven rope will yank the large nose ring from you nose leaving a large hole --- thus the Bimbo Slut Whore must spend most of her limited mental capacity on positioning her arms such that her nose does not hurt.
My Slut Whore is wearing a special black velvet bra (size HH) where the short 1/8 inch sharp pins are sew in erect so that all 200 stinging pins fully penetrate your soft flesh tits while velvet touches tit flesh in between the pins. A large black dildo is lodged into your throat and held in place by you red lipstick bulbous whore lips. To take care of your clit rod, Daddy hooks up a large ring around your cock with alligator clips that clip on your balls. Yes, my Bimbo Slut Whore, a another electrode was hooked to a large stainless steel dildo that I inserted in your whorey ass. With a remote control, I apply pulsing electrical current to the device that sends a current to your clit. As I increase the current to pulses become more rapid and shorter in duration until you explode with cum --- shooting gobs of cum across the room. Because my Bimbo Slut Whore soiled her room with cum, Daddy must whip the Whore with a whip made of velvet strips that tickle, rather than mar my Whores body --- but the whipping caused even more sluttish activities --- the Bimbo Slut Whore excretes a mixture of cum and piss from her pussy as she shakes with pleasure.
In the evening, we will go out to a dance club. You will be dressed in fishnet stockings and day-glow pink velvet ultra micro mini worn very very low on your hips so that the top of the crack of your ass is displayed and your 4 inch mini so very short that it barely covers your crotch and stop sign red velvet thong. Matching fingerless gloves and a velvet bra top (with openings for your nipples and nipple jewelry to be exposed and dangling from the center of your huge tits complete the outfit. Matching custom 9-inch chrome steel heeled pink velvet platform boots covered with rhinestones will adorn your legs. A white mink biker jacket with matching pink velvet trim adorns my Bimbo Slut’s body.
After embellishing your tattooed make-up with additional heavy whore make up, your platinum blond hair is teased as large as possible. A 5-inch rhinestone collar with a D Ring and 5 inch rhinestone bracelets are added to your outfit. A pink velvet leash is attached to the D Ring and is used to lovingly display and control my Whorey Bimbo Slut. On each 9-inch claw are at least two large karat rings. Around your cock is a large gold ring with a 7-karat stone. On the way to the club, you beg me to allow you to rub your very obviously hard clit pole cock. I pull your pretty tattooed clit pole cock out from the red velvet micro thong and you start to pump your clit pole cock with your 9-inch claw hand. Pumping slow at first, but faster as we approach the club. WOW... as you step out of the limo... you cum in the gutter outside the club and then place your pretty clit pole cock back into the red velvet micro thong... WHAT A VISION OF TOTAL DECADENCE AND LUST.
When we arrive at the club you start to dance in the most sluttish fashion, open your enhanced bulbous Fuck Red Whore lips wide in a simulated sucking fashion, and grinding your booty ass into my pant cover cock, right on the dance floor. Then my Bimbo Tramp turns around and knees in front of my cock and continues the sucking motion with her bulbous red lips and pierced tongue. My whore then unzips my pants and my rod plunges out greeting my Cock Sucking Fuck Whore. As you open your enhanced bulbous Fuck Red Whore lips wide and insert my throbbing cock into your fuck hole lips, the club crowd cheer and watches with decedent pleasure. Bimbo Fuck Whore Tramp is the best blow job around. Then you crawl over to me and I help you up. We then French kiss, enjoying the grand exhibition and display of my nasty Bimbo Fuck Whore Slut. By now the entire club has followed your decedent example and is fornicating throughout the club.
You have drawn the attention of 10 men who each proposition you to suck, fuck and use you for all their pleasures in a private club room upstairs. Your private whoring income and my six figure income will keep my Bimbo Whore Slut in a decadent and lustful style. During the evening, you would drink vodka cock-tails made with my pee. After all of the men and I have used you, you would lie naked on the carpeted floor while I cum on your Whorey body. Then I fuck your whore booty pussy ass, As I ram my cock into your hole and induce the ultimate sinful pleasure, my Whore’s body starts to shake with pleasure as your 9 inch chrome steel slut heels thrash in the air and your 9 inch claw nails uncontrollably shake with uncontrolled pleasure. After the cum dried, you would dress and we would return home to your velvet and mirrored room where you would be showered and place in your plush velvet cage. What a filthy nasty Bimbo Slut Whore Tramp ....
Lovingly,
Joe
XOXOXOXOXOXOX"
Llllladies?

So, I have been meaning to post this somewhere for a long time, this account is a throwaway for obvious reasons.
So I am a male in my early 20's and for everyone to understand the context of the story, we need to scroll back to the early 2000's which was the time I was a kid.
I lived with my father, mother and sister and our financial situation was rather bad, since I am from a post-soviet country and salaries were still extremely low back then. We were moving from one rental appartment to another and getting kicked out due to not paying timely. It was because my father was a casino addict and also besides that, extremely verbally abusive towards my mother (never physical violence though). He would take money that was donated (by my relatives and acquaintance to buy clothes and a baby stroller etc.) to me and turn it into dust in slot machines, not to mention at least half of his every salary. But you know, as a little boy you are just told that daddy is working out late tonight. And you think nothing of it, I think I did not realise how bad this was until I turned like 12, but by then my father had quit gambling. I was also sexually abused by a close relative and also some friends.
​
I was always extremely intelligent, I read a lot, world class adult literature. I could read and understand everything, since as a child and throughout school I was my mothers confidant, she did not have many friends and she would tell me all her secrets about her life and what she was going through etc. I went to comfort her when she was crying after my father had been yelling at her and so on. That gave me a good insight into adult life back then, even though I might have been 8 or so.
At school in the earlier years I was bullied because of my weight and lisp that I cannot control, I was trying to be as friendly as I could to everybody, but no one wanted to be around me, it made me really sad. But I had my toy animals at home, who all had names and I played with them, imagining that I am on some far away adventure in the Middle Earth or exploring the caverns below Hogwarts etc. It gave me hope and security, it gave me friends, even though they were all in my head.
By the end of middle school, the bullying had stopped, people were smart and had grown out of it. It was also the time that my parents went through a really messy divorce that took months to settle down, stop my father from stalking me and my mum and my mums friends (Not stalking maliciously, but just like "Can i speak to you, we really need to speak about my ex-wife who is now trying to destroy my life"). After the divorce, me and my mom moved from one of her friends houses, to another one until we settled in a small furnace-heated apartment in a cheap bad neighbourhood, but soon after my mom found love again and since 16 i started living alone. I had all my bills paid and got a medium sized allowance to eat and go to the movies etc. I also made the friends back then that are the friends who have stuck with me for my lifetime.
At high school I was pretty lazy, I discovered drinking and smoking pot, both of which i did daily for years until I was perhaps 19. Pot still stays with me, but not the drinking, that was a real problem back then since I was basically binge drinking alone, just loved the feeling of being drunk and lighting a cigarette or sth like passing out after a bottle of gin and a big joint. It made me feel numb and delirious which i felt was the preferred mental state. I still somewhat think that, but don't do it anymore since the alcohol physical side-effects are too nasty, now i just have 2-3 beers 1-2times per week which I don't see as much of a problem.
​
For my whole life my biggest dream has been just going backpacking, travelling the world and discovering distant places, being on the road and never settling down, living with different religious or ethnical groups or learn different skills, languages etc. I thought I will do that right after I finish university in 2020 spring. My best friend of 8 years is sharing this plan with me, he is a person who is the closest to me in my life, has always been and always will be since he has always been there for me 100%, we grew into adults together, we have done so much stupid shit and shared so many great memories together etc. He is like a brother to me, would not trade him for any other person in this world.
​
So in the end of high school I found the first girlfriend of my life. It was an instant match and in 1 month we were living together. She has moved here from southeast asia and we were totally inseparable for a long time. But after the initial super mad love phase cooled down, I felt like I feel more complete with my friends and stopped appreciating the fact that this could be a long term relationship. Since this person is older than me and has already travelled the world and seen many different places and lived in many different countries, she wants to settle here now since she likes it here and has a great job. I on the other hand quit uni 2 times in order to work full time so that I could live together with her.
I have been trying to explain her that our lives are at completely different stages and even though we have a blast together, we don't last most likely that well since if I commit to this relationship, I will lose all the dreams i made with my best friend and vice versa also. And this relationship is important to me as well. But for me going travelling would not be like just goofing around for a couple of months, but actually living on the road.
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Besides that one friend I have, I had 2 more like him that i felt the same way about, very close to me and extremely good to me for a long time. They are already living like that and I envy every second I see some photos taken in myanmar or thailand or etc and think that I could be there not doing this lame office job that I have. And the one friend I have here currently is stuck due to something mandatory that will end in autumn, after which he said he is also going to join the other friends, with or without me (after I explained my position).
I feel I am absolutely torn apart, I would lose my friends and the dream I had my whole life, or I would lose my girlfriend who is also amazingly good to me and we share love together. I have tried on multiple times explaining this to my girlfriend also that maybe it would be better for us to walk separate ways as friends since neither of us can support each others future, but she always gets so emotional and totally plays me into staying with her, I guess she knows too well what my soft spots are. And also she has almost no one here besides me since she is a foreigner.
And I honestly don't know what to do, I want to leave so badly, I dont want to leave my girlfriend, but at this point its quite clear in my head that the wish to fulfil my dream is bigger than the wish to be in the relationship. I am honestly heartbroken, this girl means a lot to me, but like its this kind of moment where you have a Girlfriend for 3 years vs 3 best friends for 8 years living the dream that you have been wanting to do your whole life.
It has been driving me absolutely crazy for the last couple of months so I decided to move apart from my gf, but to continue the relationship, so I still hang out with her 4 or so times per week and feel quite healthy about that, just needed some room, she was upset at first, but is cool with it now. But I don't know what to do, I feel like every time I see her I would be with her forever, but every time I see my friends, I can't wait to pack my bags and hop on a plane with them to some far far away land. I honestly feel like just dying would be easier, I don't want to be put in front of this dilemma, when I went into the relationship (age 19), I took it as a casual romantic relationship, not some long term commitment, I mean ofc I understood that things got serious, but at the same time I was completely oblivious about the future, I did not understand that she wants to settle down in some city family area and just have good job, good salary, office, etc. Which for me is just boring af
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I mean I guess at this point I am just ranting but you get my situation, I am torn apart and heartbroken and feel like everything would be so much easier if I would be just dead, but I am not in any way a suicidal person, but I feel like just secretly selling all my stuff, going to the airport. Deleting my social media (which I basically don't use since my friends don't even have smartphones and we always meet for chatting and talking about life, music, literature etc.), throwing my phone in the bin and going anywhere and starting a new life somewhere else.
I could keep going but I just needed to vent here, please share your opinions etc. It was all just written in a big run, so it can sound a bit all over the place, sorry about that.