“...and walk away with a trip to beautiful Las Vegas Nevada! Enjoy a complimentary 5 day 4 night stay at any MGM casino resort all on us! No nonsense, no gimmicks. Just a bit of your precious time! Call today!”
Yes. A vacation extravaganza all on the arm. Courtesy of the Hibou Timeshare Corporation. All it cost was your time and cooperation for a timeshare presentation. Simple enough yes? I wish I would have realized how much better a couple of overtimes would have served me, than taking myself to that horrid building.
I was living in Phoenix AZ with my parents. Still half way bullshitting my final semester at college. I’ve got to be honest, I was checked out. It was summer..I was going to graduate and I had these final two classes in the bag. I could have failed my finals and still walked out with a C. Yes but that kind of luxury came at a price. My social life was the casualty in all of this. While I did have a tight knit of pals, my attendance to social gatherings were...well..less than punctual. I was usually doing work for one of my advanced classes. If not that, then I was pulling a shift at either of my jobs. Yeah..you could say I gave up the glamour of late night pizzas, puking in my friends car and hooking up with a random ASU frat sluts for a heavier wallet...except I was paying everything out of my own pocket. My gas, insurance, cell, college. I wasn't exactly hiding cash in the walls. My parents worked hard but..never did make a living to give me and my siblings an extravagant lifestyle. We were grateful though.
So when I heard that AD of how I could get a long needed vacation to party central Las Vegas, all for watching some BS timeshare I knew I wasn’t going to buy into, you bet your ass off I made that call. The phone only rang once before I got an answer,
“Thank you for calling the Hibou Timeshare Corporation, how can we help you?” a voice rang through the phone. The voice sounded shrill and sickly.
“Hi, I'm calling about the vacation in Vegas? Says that you need people for a presen..”
“Yeessss.” the voice interrupted “The timeshare presentation, well...we would be so honored to have you”
“Uhh..yeah...anyway I’d like to sign up? Is there a form online or do you take the information here?” I said..now feeling a bit tense.
“Well I'll tell you what...pack your things for the vacation. When we are finished presenting..we can send you on our way to Vegas. We just need..a bit of your time.”
That was that. He gave me the address, date and time of the meeting. The area was in a place called Amargosa Valley in Nevada. Luckily it was just about an hour away from Vegas. Before we parted ways on the phone, the operator said something...he said something that should have been a MAJOR red flag.
“Okay then, you’re all set...we will see you July 28th at 4:30pm. Not a moment later” he laughed
“Oh..and..one more thing, if you have some more specimens like yourself that might be interested in the free vacation...bring them along. They’ll all receive the same prize and you will receive $100 cash for every person you bring. We look forward to presenting you, Austin. Good day.”
I never gave him my name.
Still, my young dumb brain didn’t hear anything past $100 dollars. So I rounded up a few of my best pals and we were set to meet the reps over at the timeshare. The days leading up to the trip I couldn't get a hold of myself. It was so exciting. My first real vacation in...i couldn't remember how long. I longed for this type of adventure with my friends. We packed a truck full and set off to Amargosa Valley.
I brought Luke, Larry and Adam. We’d been friends since the 3rd grade. We all moved to AZ from different parts of the country that summer, so being new kids we naturally ganged up together. Luke was from Texas..we called him Tex. Real big guy. Loved to work out but definitely was a bit of a boozebag. Larry was from Ohio. Quiet in public but probably the loudest of us all. Always had some political conspiracy to talk about. Then Adam..Adam was interesting. He was from Florida...or Georgia...or Nebraska. Adam never could keep it straight about where he was from. He always had some sort of story and backtrack about where he’d come from. I personally thought he was probably from another part of AZ and just wanted to fit in...so we humor him and let him be the nomad of our group. I myself was originally from California...things got pricey so we made the move to blistering AZ.
That was my crew. No matter how long it had been, we were always as tight as ever. The ride was filled with laughing and gags. Stops at fast food joints and all around bullshitting. Yes it was an amazing time just driving there, we couldn't wait to get on with the meeting and head down to Boozeville USA. As we approached our destination...something felt off. Amargosa Valley had been a bit of a ghost town the whole drive. A gas station here. A small outlet there...but otherwise unpopulated. When we hit our destination we were met by a Chrome building. Smack center in the middle of the highway. As we parked at the only stall..we all took a look at each other.
“Well this is...odd.” Luke said plainly.
“Yeah man...are we really going there?” Adam shook out. Barely containing his fear.
“Look guys, I know it looks weird. This place is really clean and bright in the middle of a dusty desert but c’mon. It's like what...an hour of our time? Within 2 hours we’ll be on our way to the dopest guys trip ever.” I said...selfishly.
The guys all agreed. We got out, locked the car up and walked in through the sliding glass doors. The cool air hit us like a wave. Each of us breathing in the refreshingly cold air. The inside of this lobby..was also immaculate. Chrome everywhere. Right down to the sofas and chairs. A woman came from around the front desk.
“You must be here to be presented. I see you brought more specimens! What a joy! Will you gentlemen please follow me?” She said.
Specimens. Ugh. Her tone. That word still makes me shutter.
Me and the boys looked at each other..all with the same should we do it look on our faces. Maybe it was the cold air enticing our sweaty brows. We’d been a poorly AC’D truck for a couple hours. Or maybe it was the ice cold drinks she presented in front of us. Whatever the case we followed her through a door behind the front desk and were met with a grand auditorium. It looked as if it could hold maybe 50 people. And all they had was me and my knucklehead friends. As we sat down, sucking down sodas and waters, a mans voice came over the intercom.
“Welcome my friends to the Hibou Timeshare Corporation presentation. Today you will be examining the lifetime of these vessels. Determine whether or not you think they are a smart investment and make a choice if you would like to partake!” I recognized the voice. It was the same shrill tone that I set up the appointment with.
“Now my dear friends, it's time to sit back with your favorite drink...and listen..”
With that, a large projector screen came down from the celine. An old timey countdown began winding down.
BEEP3...BEEP2...BEEP1
From what I can remember, I heard the screams of something...unnatural. A scream so high tone that I felt as if my ears would burst with blood. I tried clasping my hands over my ears but to no avail. The screams were too overpowering. As soon as it started, I passed out.
I awoke looking at the lights on the celine. Unable to sit up. I could tell I was bareass naked on a metal table. I moved my head, the little that i could to see Adam next to me on another table. Naked as the day we were born. He was encased in what looked like a light purple energy field. Looking more in depth, I too had this field in front of me. Before I could speak the tables raised up. Bringing me upright. Bringing me face to face with Tex. To the left of me..Larry. “My friends, I present to you: Terramite 99-0 specimens.” a voice rang out. The same voice from the auditorium.
“They are..of the male species. Strong. Cunning and above all loyal...if raised properly.”
“HEY, you bastards. WTF is this! LET US GO!” Tex cried out. Before he could continue, the energy field tightened around him. Tex let out a scream that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The smell of burned flesh and hair filled the area. I would have puked had the horror of seeing my best friend being burned alive wasn't keeping my attention away from the smell. When the field lifted, Tex was stripped down to the muscle fibers. Hair burned down to the scalp. Tex convulsed until he finally relaxed into a hanging position on the table.
“Now see..specimen is now sedated. Reduced to a weaker position. With the energy field keeping him contained and the Auto-Reversal Time Warp engaging, we can have this specimen back into working shape immediately.”
There was an electrical hum in the air. As before my eyes, Tex’s skin began to heal. His hair growing back. And all burns subsiding. It was as if nothing had happened to him. He still hung in limbo, but we could see the breath return to his chest.The rest of us let out bits of gasps of horror and astonishment.
I could see Adam crying a bit in the corner of my eyes.
A figure appeared from behind me. A tentacle graced my shoulder, not even phased by the force field. I caught sight of the creature. It stood around 7foot tall. Skin that looked human but a head that was elongated. No nose. And eyes that were black as coal. It had two tentacles for hands. I could not see its feet, as it was covered by a long gown.
Larry screamed in anger. “Your...your...a...a…” he managed to get out before the creature silenced him.
“Shhhh….I am...a salesman is all. Now my friends I will demonstrate the life cycle of the Terramite 99-0’s.”
With that, Larry's forcefield began to hum. Right before my eyes Larry began to get...smaller. Not in stature necessarily, no, but in age. He went from being a young man..to a teenager..to that kid i met in 3rd grade..to an infant. His cries were extremely loud. Unaware of the horrors around him. At that moment I could hear Adam's field begin to hum.
“Please no! Please!” Adam begged.
“If you will direct your attention to our third pod:”
Adam then began to scream as he went from a young man..to middle aged man...to retirement age and finally...to a decrepit old man. Hair as white as snow. Wrinkled beyond recognition. Each breath looking to nearly be his last.
“From birth to the declining ages of 70 and beyond the Auto-Reversal Time Warp pods are the perfect tool to use when training your armys, your children, your slaves. Imagine...never having to replace workers. Never worrying if your training methods or punishments might go too far. Never losing a prisoner to death. And though the Terramites look to be difficult to control, I can guarantee their cooperation once put through the proper training.” The creature said. Full of glee in his dead eyes.
Between the crying of baby larry and incoherent babbling of old man adam, the room felt like it was spinning. Just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger, the rest of the lights came to life. The room we were in were surrounded by seats, similar to the ones we sat in. However, sitting in these seats were ghastly creatures of different varieties. Some looked like the salesman creature. Others were ogreish. Large bodied creatures covered in a film of slime. Some of them even looked human. It was the eyes though...their eyes were a teal color with white pupils. Many many creatures looked up me and my friends. All of them began clapping their hands and cheering in unison. The claps were deafening. The cries of the baby felt as if a baseball bat was ramming my head. Adams babbling was terrifyingly disturbing. And Tex...hanging there. Eyes rolled back into his skull. I couldnt imagine the hell he began to feel. At this point I wondered what awaited my fate. The clapping stopped abruptly.
“Oh...Austin...yes, well if you want to know what fate awaits you just shut your eyes. Shut your eyes and quietly count back from 3.” the creature said...was he reading my mind?
Suddenly the urge to close my eyes overtook me. Almost as if I had no choice, I began counting down. 3….2….1….
Everything went black. I wasn't sure if i was alive or dead...or somewhere in between. I saw nothing but black for what felt like a lifetime. And in an instant...I heard that same shrill scream. Only this time I could not cover my ears. I couldn’t feel my body but I felt an unimaginable amount of pain. As the scream grew to its peak, I slammed my eyes open. Trying to catch my breath.
I was back in the car...we were all back in the car. The engine was on. Shitty ac blasting. The others were still out. I sat up in my seat. Not wanting to move too suddenly. The sun was beating down on us. I looked over at the time on the dash…July 28th 4:34 pm. I reached into my shirt pocket and I found several vouchers for the MGM hotels in Vegas along with $300 dollars. I also found a card that simply read “Hibou Timeshare Corp. would like to thank you for a bit of your time”
The boys came too. All feeling rather groggy.
“We all fell asleep huh?” Adam laughed. “We here?”
They didn't remember a thing. Not one thing. Not going in...not the reception area...not the freaky timeshare presentation...not one bit. I lied...i told them that while they were sound asleep, we arrived a little earlier than expected. The presenter had an emergency and left our vouchers at the front desk and apologized profusely.
“Wow, what a gentleman!” Tex laughed. “We definitely owe it to him to sit through another timeshare, probono.” Larry added.
I think it's safe to say that I will not be returning to this or any other timeshare. As I drove away I could see the building disappear in the rear view mirror.
So if you’re traveling deep within the southwest of the United States and hear an ad for a free vacation that's too good to be true...do yourself a favor..turn off the radio, call into work and ask for some overtime..because nothing is ever given for free.

“...and walk away with a trip to beautiful Las Vegas Nevada! Enjoy a complimentary 5 day 4 night stay at any MGM casino resort all on us! No nonsense, no gimmicks. Just a bit of your precious time! Call today!”
Yes. A vacation extravaganza all on the arm. Courtesy of the Hibou Timeshare Corporation. All it cost was your time and cooperation for a timeshare presentation. Simple enough yes? I wish I would have realized how much better a couple of overtimes would have served me, than taking myself to that horrid building.
I was living in Phoenix AZ with my parents. Still half way bullshitting my final semester at college. I’ve got to be honest, I was checked out. It was summer..I was going to graduate and I had these final two classes in the bag. I could have failed my finals and still walked out with a C. Yes but that kind of luxury came at a price. My social life was the casualty in all of this. While I did have a tight knit of pals, my attendance to social gatherings were...well..less than punctual. I was usually doing work for one of my advanced classes. If not that, then I was pulling a shift at either of my jobs. Yeah..you could say I gave up the glamour of late night pizzas, puking in my friends car and hooking up with a random ASU frat sluts for a heavier wallet...except I was paying everything out of my own pocket. My gas, insurance, cell, college. I wasn't exactly hiding cash in the walls. My parents worked hard but..never did make a living to give me and my siblings an extravagant lifestyle. We were grateful though.
So when I heard that AD of how I could get a long needed vacation to party central Las Vegas, all for watching some BS timeshare I knew I wasn’t going to buy into, you bet your ass off I made that call. The phone only rang once before I got an answer,
“Thank you for calling the Hibou Timeshare Corporation, how can we help you?” a voice rang through the phone. The voice sounded shrill and sickly.
“Hi, I'm calling about the vacation in Vegas? Says that you need people for a presen..”
“Yeessss.” the voice interrupted “The timeshare presentation, well...we would be so honored to have you”
“Uhh..yeah...anyway I’d like to sign up? Is there a form online or do you take the information here?” I said..now feeling a bit tense.
“Well I'll tell you what...pack your things for the vacation. When we are finished presenting..we can send you on our way to Vegas. We just need..a bit of your time.”
That was that. He gave me the address, date and time of the meeting. The area was in a place called Amargosa Valley in Nevada. Luckily it was just about an hour away from Vegas. Before we parted ways on the phone, the operator said something...he said something that should have been a MAJOR red flag.
“Okay then, you’re all set...we will see you July 28th at 4:30pm. Not a moment later” he laughed
“Oh..and..one more thing, if you have some more specimens like yourself that might be interested in the free vacation...bring them along. They’ll all receive the same prize and you will receive $100 cash for every person you bring. We look forward to presenting you, Austin. Good day.”
I never gave him my name.
Still, my young dumb brain didn’t hear anything past $100 dollars. So I rounded up a few of my best pals and we were set to meet the reps over at the timeshare. The days leading up to the trip I couldn't get a hold of myself. It was so exciting. My first real vacation in...i couldn't remember how long. I longed for this type of adventure with my friends. We packed a truck full and set off to Amargosa Valley.
I brought Luke, Larry and Adam. We’d been friends since the 3rd grade. We all moved to AZ from different parts of the country that summer, so being new kids we naturally ganged up together. Luke was from Texas..we called him Tex. Real big guy. Loved to work out but definitely was a bit of a boozebag. Larry was from Ohio. Quiet in public but probably the loudest of us all. Always had some political conspiracy to talk about. Then Adam..Adam was interesting. He was from Florida...or Georgia...or Nebraska. Adam never could keep it straight about where he was from. He always had some sort of story and backtrack about where he’d come from. I personally thought he was probably from another part of AZ and just wanted to fit in...so we humor him and let him be the nomad of our group. I myself was originally from California...things got pricey so we made the move to blistering AZ.
That was my crew. No matter how long it had been, we were always as tight as ever. The ride was filled with laughing and gags. Stops at fast food joints and all around bullshitting. Yes it was an amazing time just driving there, we couldn't wait to get on with the meeting and head down to Boozeville USA. As we approached our destination...something felt off. Amargosa Valley had been a bit of a ghost town the whole drive. A gas station here. A small outlet there...but otherwise unpopulated. When we hit our destination we were met by a Chrome building. Smack center in the middle of the highway. As we parked at the only stall..we all took a look at each other.
“Well this is...odd.” Luke said plainly.
“Yeah man...are we really going there?” Adam shook out. Barely containing his fear.
“Look guys, I know it looks weird. This place is really clean and bright in the middle of a dusty desert but c’mon. It's like what...an hour of our time? Within 2 hours we’ll be on our way to the dopest guys trip ever.” I said...selfishly.
The guys all agreed. We got out, locked the car up and walked in through the sliding glass doors. The cool air hit us like a wave. Each of us breathing in the refreshingly cold air. The inside of this lobby..was also immaculate. Chrome everywhere. Right down to the sofas and chairs. A woman came from around the front desk.
“You must be here to be presented. I see you brought more specimens! What a joy! Will you gentlemen please follow me?” She said.
Specimens. Ugh. Her tone. That word still makes me shutter.
Me and the boys looked at each other..all with the same should we do it look on our faces. Maybe it was the cold air enticing our sweaty brows. We’d been a poorly AC’D truck for a couple hours. Or maybe it was the ice cold drinks she presented in front of us. Whatever the case we followed her through a door behind the front desk and were met with a grand auditorium. It looked as if it could hold maybe 50 people. And all they had was me and my knucklehead friends. As we sat down, sucking down sodas and waters, a mans voice came over the intercom.
“Welcome my friends to the Hibou Timeshare Corporation presentation. Today you will be examining the lifetime of these vessels. Determine whether or not you think they are a smart investment and make a choice if you would like to partake!” I recognized the voice. It was the same shrill tone that I set up the appointment with.
“Now my dear friends, it's time to sit back with your favorite drink...and listen..”
With that, a large projector screen came down from the celine. An old timey countdown began winding down.
BEEP3...BEEP2...BEEP1
From what I can remember, I heard the screams of something...unnatural. A scream so high tone that I felt as if my ears would burst with blood. I tried clasping my hands over my ears but to no avail. The screams were too overpowering. As soon as it started, I passed out.
I awoke looking at the lights on the celine. Unable to sit up. I could tell I was bareass naked on a metal table. I moved my head, the little that i could to see Adam next to me on another table. Naked as the day we were born. He was encased in what looked like a light purple energy field. Looking more in depth, I too had this field in front of me. Before I could speak the tables raised up. Bringing me upright. Bringing me face to face with Tex. To the left of me..Larry. “My friends, I present to you: Terramite 99-0 specimens.” a voice rang out. The same voice from the auditorium.
“They are..of the male species. Strong. Cunning and above all loyal...if raised properly.”
“HEY, you bastards. WTF is this! LET US GO!” Tex cried out. Before he could continue, the energy field tightened around him. Tex let out a scream that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The smell of burned flesh and hair filled the area. I would have puked had the horror of seeing my best friend being burned alive wasn't keeping my attention away from the smell. When the field lifted, Tex was stripped down to the muscle fibers. Hair burned down to the scalp. Tex convulsed until he finally relaxed into a hanging position on the table.
“Now see..specimen is now sedated. Relaxed into a weaker position. With the energy field keeping him contained and the Auto-Reversal Time Warp engaging, we can have this specimen back into working shape immediately.”
There was an electrical hum in the air. As before my eyes, Tex’s skin began to heal. His hair growing back. And all burns subsiding. It was as if nothing had happened to him. He still hung in limbo, but we could see the breath return to his chest.The rest of us let out bits of gasps of horror and astonishment.
I could see Adam crying a bit in the corner of my eyes.
A figure appeared from behind me. A tentacle graced my shoulder, not even phased by the force field. I caught sight of the creature. It stood around 7foot tall. Skin that looked human but a head that was elongated. No nose. And eyes that were black as coal. It had two tentacles for hands. I could not see its feet, as it was covered by a long gown.
Larry screamed in anger. “Your...your...a...a…” he managed to get out before the creature silenced him.
“Shhhh….I am...a salesman is all. Now my friends I will demonstrate the life cycle of the Terramite 99-0’s.”
With that, Larry's forcefield began to hum. Right before my eyes Larry began to get...smaller. Not in stature necessarily, no, but in age. He went from being a young man..to a teenager..to that kid i met in 3rd grade..to an infant. His cries were extremely loud. Unaware of the horrors around him. At that moment I could hear Adam's field begin to hum.
“Please no! Please!” Adam begged.
“If you will direct your attention to our third pod:”
Adam then began to scream as he went from a young man..to middle aged man...to retirement age and finally...to a decrepit old man. Hair as white as snow. Wrinkled beyond recognition. Each breath looking to nearly be his last.
“From birth to the declining ages of 70 to 100 Terran years…the Auto-Reversal Time Warp pods are the perfect tool to use when training your armys, your children, your slaves. Imagine...never having to replace workers. Never worrying if your training methods or punishments might go too far. Never losing a prisoner to death.” The creature said. Full of glee in his dead eyes.
Between the crying of baby larry and incoherent babbling of old man adam, the room felt like it was spinning. Just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger, the rest of the lights came to life. The room we were in were surrounded by seats, similar to the ones we sat in. However, sitting in these seats were ghastly creatures of different varieties. Some looked like the salesman creature. Others were ogreish. Large bodied creatures covered in a film of slime. Some of them even looked human. It was the eyes though...their eyes were a teal color with white pupils. Many many creatures looked up me and my friends. All of them began clapping their hands in unison. The claps were deafening. The cries of the baby felt as if a baseball bat was connecting with my head every second. Adams babbling was terrifyingly disturbing. And Tex...hanging there. Eyes rolled back into his skull. I couldnt imagine the hell he began to feel. At this point I wondered what awaited my fate. The clapping stopped abruptly.
“Oh...Austin...yes, well if you want to know what fate awaits you just shut your eyes. Shut your eyes and quietly count back from 3.” the creature said...was he reading my mind?
Suddenly the urge to close my eyes overtook me. Almost as if I had no choice, I began counting down. 3….2….1….
Everything went black. I wasn't sure if i was alive or dead...or somewhere in between. I saw nothing but black for what felt like a lifetime. And in an instant...I heard that same shrill scream. Only this time I could not cover my ears. I couldn’t feel my body but I felt an unimaginable amount of pain. As the scream grew to its peak, I slammed my eyes open. Trying to catch my breath.
I was back in the car...we were all back in the car. The engine was on. Shitty ac blasting. The others were still out. I sat up in my seat. Not wanting to move too suddenly. The sun was beating down on us. I looked over at the time on the dash…July 28th 4:34 pm. I reached into my shirt pocket and I found several vouchers for the MGM hotels in Vegas along with $300 dollars. I also found a card that simply read “Hibou Timeshare Corp. would like to thank you for a bit of your time”
The boys came too. All feeling rather groggy.
“We all fell asleep huh?” Adam laughed. “We here?”
They didn't remember a thing. Not one thing. Not going in...not the reception area...not the freaky timeshare presentation...not one bit. I lied...i told them that while they were sound asleep, we arrived a little earlier than expected. The presenter had an emergency and left our vouchers at the front desk and apologized profusely.
“Wow, what a gentleman!” Tex laughed. “We definitely owe it to him to sit through another timeshare, probono.” Larry added.
I think it's safe to say that I will not be returning to this or any other timeshare. As I drove away I could see the building disappear in the rear view mirror.
So if you’re traveling deep within the southwest of the United States and hear an ad for a free vacation that's too good to be true...do yourself a favor..turn off the radio, call into work and ask for some overtime..because nothing is ever given for free.

Nobody has asked in awhile, so I'll give an update:
Recently stayed here with family because we wanted to try a hotel "off strip" and casino-free. Tossed a $20 during check-in and was upgraded from a studio parlor to a city corner suite facing Aria. Was beautiful. First thing we noticed was how clean and elegant the hotel was and NO smoke smell cus it doesn't have a casino. You can literally step outside, look left, and walk one minute to Aria OR you can stay in the hotel and use the walkway that connects to Bellagio when you wanna gamble. Vdara to Bellagio casino floor is maybe five minutes at a casual pace. People that complain about this make me giggle. It's a trivial price to pay for a chill and modern hotel.
Speaking of chill, that's another thing we loved about Vdara. Because it doesn't have a casino, it doesn't have the hustle and bustle of other strip hotels directly on the strip. Vdara is behind Cosmo and in between Bellagio and Aria so that's why I call it "off strip" in quotes. There always seems to be an employee nearby to greet you too, which is nice. Our room was immaculate. Had a Bosch washer and dryer (looked barely used), a gigantic refrigerator, an electric stove, dishwasher, and nice deep soaking tub in the bathroom, and all the other stuff you'd expect in a Vegas hotel (overpriced minibar, flatscreen tvs, etc). The staff was excellent from the valet, bellhops, front desk, and cafe, you name it. Our tv remote wasn't working and a game came to fix it (was a problem with the concealed cable box) in less than 5 minutes.
The pool was open, but we didn't use it cus it was too cold out (December). Good to know you also have access to Aria's pool as well. As Vdara is an MGM property you have access to self-parking or valet at any MGM property which brings me to my only real gripe. Behind Vdara is a huge parking garage but it's only for valet. Wish they had self-parking.
Overall, I would recommend Vdara to anyone who wants to enjoy a night on the strip but end it in a comparatively quiet and chill place. This place is also great for families or business because of the in-room amenities they offer. Coming back from business/vacation with clean clothes is super underrated! Don't be scared off by folks hating that it's not directly on the strip, it's totally fine and I'm out of shape as hell. You walk outside and take an elevator down, cross a small intersection and you're in Cosmo's parking garage.

Captain Kirk and James Bond took all my money.
It's true. There were these two slot machines that I frequented while in Vegas and for whatever reason they decided to steal from me. It was the Thunderball and Star Trek machines. And, I gotta tell you, it could have been because I'm not a cyborg or robot or something. I mean, let's face it: these are machines. Don't let the "slot" in front of "machine" fool you. There's nothing innocent about them. But they lure you in because they don't have legs or arms. They simply use YOU to burgle YOU. It's not like I walked into the casino and said "Hey, I want that machine with Captain Kirk wrestling a lizard to take all my money". No. I sat down at what I thought was a friendly machine and it began to rob me using its guile.
What else? I don't know, man. I'm still pretty pissed about the slot machines, but I'll go on. We, me and a bunch of high school friends, went down for March Madness. I guess it was a little mad. It wasn't really nutty mad though. Like that movie Saturn 3 that's on Prime right now. Man, that's nuts. Really bad. But I couldn't stop watching, but I'm writing now so - Just a bunch of 30 to 60 year olds gritting their teeth in one last ditch effort to enjoy the dregs of their testosterone. Many were drunk. One guy was running around and hitting my friend in the chops and stumbling all over the casino trying to get cash advances. His name is Doug. Went to high school with him. Another dude, with a gold encrusted ring got 86'd from the casino because he wouldn't answer when security began asking him questions like "Sir, are you alive?". He just stood in a stupor looking at an electronic roulette game. Maybe he had been robbed too? Security was having tons of trouble trying to figure out if he was alive. Which makes sense since it was a room full of machines. AND NO - MACHINES ARE NOT ALIVE NO MATTER WHAT 2001 or other movies tell you. I also saw the remnants of a loogie on a Chinese Fortune slot machine - it was as if the player got so angry at being robbed he did the only thing possible: shot a loogie at the machine. It's not like you can beat up a slot machine. Many have tried in the golden age of Vegas and were simply driven out to the desert by the Gambino family and shot in the face. That lesson has stuck, but it seems there are some revolutionaries who are still fighting back. To Guy in the Stupor and Loogie Man - I commend you!
Nobody was making America great again in Las Vegas. Las Vegas is almost the opposite of that old slogan that I saw Bill Clinton use in 1992 the other day on CSPAN. All around was just drunk people spilling drinks, foaming at the mouth, and bitching about having to pay taxes to welfare mothers while driving thousands of dollars into machines that give you a respin bonus if you get enough 007 poker chips, then a chip upgrade if you get more, and then you get to spin the wheel and then you win 35 dollars and think WHY ALL THE POMP FOR JUST 35 BUCKS?!
Vegas's saving grace is the food. I was staying at the Park MGM and they had an Eataly. It's that Italian market that fat SOB Batalia...Batalonga...that fat red headed chef from Seattle created. It's great. It almost helps me stomach his chomo visage. The best part is the Lavazza espresso. I was able to get pretty jacked up on that stuff before I started eating marijuana and drinking multiple beers and vodka/whiskey sodas. I would go way up and come crashing down just in time to see one of my idiot friends start up arm wrestling in the bar for money. He lost every time. It was a pretty stupid idea on his part seeing as he must have had some idea how strong his own arms are. I mean, you don't try to lift a car if you weigh 135. But back to the coffee - I also got a canoli. That's Italian for chocolate burrito. It was fantastic. But the eye of the tiger will always be Shake Shack. It's like it's not even a hamburger. It's like some other food group. Shake Shack is, by far, the best burger ever created by mankind. I'm sure this opinion will change when they open one on the Eastside and I get bored of it. But for now - 110% delicious.
Back to the slot machines - see I should have seen this coming. They comped my room. The hotel looked at how often I was mugged by these machines last year that they were like "Let's ply him with a free room and room service". Well, it worked. And boy did I use the room service. Every night I would return to my room and order pizza and some fucked up jar of strawberry parfait. It got bad. The staff knew me. The last day, they put a candle in the pizza as some sort of celebration. The only saving grace is that I smoked in their hotel room. Apparently that costs 500 dollars. So, I actually reemed them for 2500, the same amount I lost. So, you can see how I still won.
But I'm still irate.
Vegas still smells like a dump. It's the sort of smell where you realize everyone in the city is blocked in together within hotel rooms eating massive calories and drinking massive alcohol and having massive dumps that all end up under the street. Did you know the entire New York, New York hotel is powered by feces? Look it up.
Three nights was too much and I say that ever year, but it's more of a warning to you. My buddy ended up in the hospital on the last day. He was in his room all day with chest pains. We sent up Pepto and more booze and weed, but nothing was working. We all decided he was probably having a heart attack and then we all went back to gambling. He made it to Seattle and went straight to ER. Turns out he just pulled his pectoral muscle jerking it or something. I stopped listening when I realized he didn't have a heart attack. I'd feel bad if my buddy had a heart attack and I was busy getting WILD bonuses from Klingons attacking the slot machine game board. Which is 100% true and still reads like a fever dream.
All in all, Las Vegas is the dumbest thing America has created. Imagine if we created a big city where you went and just everyone shot up heroin for three days and then left all strung out. I mean, technically, that's Seattle, but I mean with more neon.

Hey,
I'm kinda addicted to the smell of the casino.
What kind of perfume are they using?
Could you point me to amazon or something?
Thanks.

Last night I dreamt about Norwich, CT. The place and town that I still call home. Very small town with nothing but fast food restaurants, gas stations and graveyards. A little down the ways there are some casinos. A place my grandmother use to always love going to. MGM grand, Foxwoods, or Mohegun Sun.
Money was an object growing up and sort of still is. Having to chase after an idea that I can fall in love and be happily ever after is starting to sound like a fairy tale. I say this because when I use to live in Norwich. My favorite place was and still is the cemetary. Feeling rejected, outcasted and unseen and unheard.
The only way that I could survive and not have to consider suicide or something worse to get high on life. I remember you and I use to go into the woods and essentially get lost for hours. We would make love and see new places together. How we ended up so distant from each other. I have no idea. But, I realized that I unintentionally caused others pain.
I dont know maybe my mind is wired differently than everyone elses. I've always seen things that weren't supposed to be there or drempt of supernatural unexplained happenings. I've also drempt about taking your hand and running away with you. But, running was the easy part.
My escape and my ticket was the Marines. I joined the delayed entry program at 17 and ran away. Before not knowing my girlfriend at the time got pregnant. During bootcamp leave, we got married at Groton Subbase Chapel. Your father couldnt be there. But, i would say this was the closest thing that I had to an actual wedding. My dad was there. Mom and John. But, your father couldnt make it because he was working.
Anyhow, a little insight to show you how I am feeling right now. I feel like my subconscious is running wild. I grew up to know a love when she fell head over heels for me. Still fudged it up by running away. I fell in love again, got married and sure enough she got pregnant. I was living in El Cajon at the time and saw a pregnancy test sitting on top of my cloths basket. There was a word that I recognized before sitting on the screen of the digital stick. I cried for joy and ran and hugged you. I knew that God gave me a second chance at happiness. Yet again. I ran away.
I fell in love a third time. But, with someone who is hard to grasp onto. Someone who travels all the time and never stays still. Yet, I know she longs to stay still eventually. Getting off that bus was and still is the hardest thing that I had to do. Metoproically speaking of course with my third love. This one my mind menophested this love and set a blind fold over my eyes. I was trying to Runaway again. So, use to being caught up in other peoples b.s. I cant even call my own.
It's been a long time and I cant even remember what it feels like. To be actually in love. I have been misused and abused, neglected for so long. My feeling of love has sort of blended out to be liked to be pushed around. Caught in a chemical romance.
There was a time where I would go to a place called the "Old times" Resturant. My dad use to take me there with my brother and I remember smelling the warm fresh jelly and toasted bread. I remember hearing the sizzling of the bacon as it came out. Never in my life have I missed a feeling like this for a long time. It's not about other people. Its about sharing those moments together. Unconditionally and romantically living in each moment. Never missing a detail.
Okay, maybe I overstepped my bounds a little bit. If things happen for a reason. Then they do. I realize that I am not in control nor am I here to try to be in the spotlight. I also realize I cant control other people. I think this is one thing about me is enjoying being under "mothers spell". I feel safe. I feel content and I feel wanted.
But, reality is screaming at me saying she is using you. Maybe that's true maybe its not. Maybe, it was all just my imagination. Allow me to be your mental patient. Allow me to be the person that you can blame when things get too hard. Allow me to be the one who can hold you as you are holding me and telling each other that "I've misses you".
How can we be so far gone? I reminisce about my past between events that are stuck in my memory like gorilla glue. It doesn't matter if you are 5 minutes away or 200 miles away from me. You are always close by but never too far gone. I can't make heads or tails on why we do the things we do. That's what makes us human, I guess.
Reluctant and not willing to answer my questions. Although I ask the same question a thousand times. Of course it will remain the same until you can show me...show me that I am the one for you...you ask me to show you love and support. While I am caught up in jealousies rage.
It makes me feel safe when I am hoping and praying that you arent with someone right now. It makes me feel useless when I hear another mans voice in the background. It hurts my pride when I dont get any answer.
I pour myself out and telling you that I dont have anything to hide. This is just how I am wierd. I ask you a thousand times because trust has been long gone. I ponder whether If you are being faithful or not. It's hard to keep to myself when everyone is asking how we wre doing. My response is "Not too well". Sometimes, I just say good just to get these people off my back.
Sometimes, I want to end It all. Not talking about us or our relationship. Sometimes, I just want one thing and thats you to myself. But, none of these things get me you. All these thoughts get me are depression, death or destruction. When all I want is to be happy. Of course we all want that. But, why is it so hard for people like us to stay together? Why is it so easy for two individuals to fall apart? Because we allow these things into our lives. Letting the exterior define our interior.
Throwing other people into the mess isnt good. And, its not fair to those people. That we call "friends". I know for me I haven't been with anyone else. I promise you that. Whenever I try to get close to someone else. You draw me back in like a fish out of water.
I drew a circle around me. i got on my knees and I begged for forgiveness. As my first born played in the drive way with chalk. I had an opportunity to speak to God. He told me draw three things in your life that witcher brings you joy, or love or happiness. So, I drew three smiley faces.
Is this all a game? Or is this a symbolic release in order to get away from the system?
In this space no one else can fit inside it but me. It's my safe place. "You tell me that it's over, when its only just begun..."
I can't explain why I feel the way I do because all I know what my main goal is to be married, happily and not have to freaking worry about another man ruining what we have. But, I realize that i am the one with the problem and the other guy is just picking up the pieces.
You are right. You deserve love and happiness. But, what you realize is that i am waiting for you. Yet you dont show up because my lack of shown interest. My jealousy has most likely blinded me. But, it's also your neglect to know where I am coming from.
Imagine me having girls over. Imagine me being on the phone with you. Girls laughing in the background and used the excuse that these girls are my dogs caretaker while I am out of the house. Which isnt really happening btw. But, I think if you cared enough. You would want to know what i am up to or you show some interest in my well being.
I know everything isnt about me. You are 100% correct. Everything isnt about me. Everything is about Everything. You and Me and this damned world that we live in. So, at the end of the day. What makes you happy? I tried to sit on my divorce papers as long as I could. 13 months down and we cant even say "I love you" to each other. 13 months down and we cant even look at each other with out hate.
Our hearts, minds, bodies and souls are not lined up properly.
Remember the very first day when you and I met. We met at a damn gas station because I didn't have a car. My first one took everything from me and the house was completely empty. I was broken, angry, depressed and so far gone. I reached out to you and not even a week later you come in and save the day.
The very first day we met. We made passionate love...I felt lost and appalled in your warm embrace on the kitchen floor. We ripped each other's cloths off like it's been a long time coming. We showered, we then went on a couple of dates. The beach, hearing the water. The seagulls flying over almost felt like a dream. Sushi bar and I ordered the smallet appetizer on the menu, thinking it was a entree. Anyway, you order a bigger plate than me and we both laughed.
Sooner or later we moved into together. We found each other in a hopeless place. Can we do that again?
-Nico💘(Nico👀)

Just got back from Vegas and wanted to share my experience for anyone coming since there always seem to be questions every week about similar stuff.
Stayed at the Luxor for three nights Wed-Sat this past week on an mlife offer with Resort Credit and Freeplay. Staff was very nice at Luxor and we stayed in a Tower Premium Room with 2 queen beds. Room was very nice actually. We were on the 2nd floor and didn't have much of a view, however, this is probably the nicest room I've had in Vegas. To give some reference, I usually only stay at the lower end strip properties since I'm a low-roller and that's what I get comped. I've stayed in a Flamingo Fab Room, Excalibur Royal Room, Bally's basic room (Jubilee?), The Rio (Never again.), and the Linq. The only property that was close was the Flamingo. I will say that the Luxor's room isn't as nice as the Go rooms at Flamingo though. We were very happy with the room for a comp room though. If you do stay at Luxor just know this: You have to walk. A lot. I like MGM's Casino and the walk to there even though it's only a few properties down is about 20-25 minutes and you have to walk through Excalibur unless you take the tram. All and all though, wasn't a bad place to stay and would definitely take it over Excalibur by a mile.
We hit up three buffets for brunch on our trip: The Aria, Bacchanal at Caesars, and Wicked Spoon at Cosmo. The Aria buffet was free from our myvegas points. (Facebook/Mobile game where you can earn some free stuff for your Vegas trip. Mostly buffets and free nights but there are some shows there too.) It was pretty good. Food all looked fresh and tasted good. Food is pretty standard buffet fare though which is where the other two buffets really shine. Purchased the unlimited drinks add-on for $19.99 for two people. We had margaritas and they were pretty good for 4 of them for $19.99, but beware, they are pretty slow bringing out drinks. I think brunch normal price is $28.99 which is a fair price I think for this buffet seeing as worse buffets charge that much.
Friday we went to Bacchanal on a Groupon, $88 for brunch for 2 with two mimosas each. Simply put, this is the best buffet in Vegas I have been to. (I have not eaten at Wynn or Sterling Brunch though.) Worth the price. Mimosas were very good. They were not all orange juice like some places make them. The food though was all on point. Slab bacon and Chicken and Waffles were delicious. Meats from the carving station were good as well. Chilaquiles were amazing too. Decent selection of seafood, Lobster Eggs Benedict was a favorite. My wife is Vegetarian and she had a very good selection of stuff to eat here and she was very happy with her choices.
Saturday we tried Wicked Spoon and we were really glad we did. We did the unlimited drinks and brunch buffet which worked out to about $115+tip. The service here was the best I've ever had any any buffet. Wife and I got through about 5 glasses of champagne each along with a 6th to go. He just kept bringing them out and was very fast to refill our water and clear our plates. Food was very inventive and delicious. Pork Pozole Sope and Gordon Ramsay style eggs were excellent which is saying a lot since buffet eggs are usually gross. The best thing I ate all trip though had to be this truffle pasta they had out. Normally when you get "truffle" dishes they're just made with truffle oil or something, however, there were decent sized chunks of actual black truffle shaved onto each dish. I love truffle and it was sooooo good. Now, where this buffet lacked was the carving station. I had some chewy beef that was the worst of the three buffets. However, I'd definitely go back here again even at the steep price since the drink service was so good and that truffle pasta was amazing.
The other two places we ate were VegeNation and Primrose. Vegenation is a vegan restaurant downtown. Probably best Vegetarian/Vegan place I've eaten at. Had the meatball sub which was good and my wife says they're spaghetti and meatballs are delicious. She strayed from it this time and got the Veggiechanga which was a vegan chimichanga. She wasn't too happy with it. It was filled with a lot of meat substitute and not as much veggies as she thought it would have. She regretted the choice the whole trip since she loved the spaghetti and meatballs last trip.
Primrose is a new restaurant in Monte Carlo/Park MGM. I had the Filet and frites and it was delicious. Decent size filet on top of bone marrow and mushrooms. The frites were ok, definitely not as good as Bouchon's, but good. My wife had the tomato pasta and it was very good. Kind of spicy with perfectly cooked pasta. Drinks were good and my wife ordered some lavender infused drink that was very tasty. All and all would recommend, dinner for two with drinks ended up around $120+tip. One thing to mention though is the Monte Carlo is a mess right now. So much construction going on and the entrances and exits are very inconvenient.
We went and saw Brilliant at the Neon Museum downtown and it was a pretty good show. Show lasts about a half hour and they give you some time after the show to snap pictures with the signs lit up. If you like vintage Vegas stuff I'd definitely recommend it. I think tickets were $26/pp for the show and you could buy a ticket with a tour of the museum for $42/pp.
Few other quick things: Go to the Cosmo's Chandelier Bar and order a Verbena ($16). It is the coolest cocktail I've ever had. You sip this cocktail after eating a flower than makes your tongue tingle and it is delicious.
Even if you're not a big gambler I suggest you check out MGM and play Sigma Derby and/or Fortune Cup. They are mechanical horse racing games that are a fun way to kill time and you're money doesn't disappear instantly. Sigma Derby user quarters and Fortune Cup is a more updated version with a minimum bet of $1. The D on Fremont also has one of each machine and I saw the Fortune Cup machine at a few other casinos like the Cosmo. Hit a quinella for $150 on the Fortune Cup machine at the MGM and my wife who is not normally a gambler had a fun time picking horses to win.
I also realized I don't think I like Fremont that much. Gambling is better downtown, but the whole atmosphere just isn't for me anymore. I think between the amount of non musician 'performers' and homeless beggars I saw and smelled on Thursday night I'm going to hit up the mob museum next trip then skip Fremont from now on.
TL;DR Buffets: Bacchanal >= Cosmo > Aria, go see Brilliant, Luxor's Tower Premium room is an excellent choice for a budget room, Vegenation has great vegan food, Primrose is good but Monte Carlo is a mess, Play Sigma Derby and Fortune Cup, maybe skip Fremont?
EDIT: Oh, almost forgot. The new Esports Arena at the Luxor looks awesome if you're into that sort of thing. $25 for unlimited play from 12PM-12AM. The setup there looked really nice. Thinking of trying to get my gaming group (Who are also really into Poker) to taking a trip for gambling and gaming.

I see a lot of posts on here saying "Vegas says this" or "Vegas says that". But did "Vegas" really say that? Chances are, they didn't, and you are unknowingly aiding and enabling a scam artists scam operation by rebroadcasting it. Let me outline this for you.
Vegas is a city, not a gaming entity
When attributing something to Vegas, check who you are attributing it to. Las Vegas is a city. They are not the ones operating sports books.
Gaming entities operate sportsbooks, not casinos
In Las Vegas you have various gaming entities, such as MGM-Mirage, CG Technology, William Hill, and more. These are the entities that operate the sportsbooks. However, they are not the ones who originate the odds and lines.
Consultants originate lines, not sportsbooks
Another thing to keep in mind, is that consultants are the ones who crunch the numbers and deliver opening lines to the gaming entities. LVSC is the group that originates lines for Las Vegas books, and CRIS is the one that does it for offshore books. When you are attributing something to "Vegas", are you attributing it to an offshore book?
If someone is attributing something to "Vegas", and it is not a line that can be bet on in Las Vegas, it is certified 100% bullshit
A lot of people last night were posting about a tweet that came from known tout RJ Bell and his Pregame.com scam website. Basically Bell tweeted that "Vegas says TCU would be favored over Clemson and LSU on a neutral field" and also tweeted out "The Top 10 according to Vegas".
Here is the deal. If you can not walk into a sportsbook in Las Vegas and put money down on a line someone is tweeting out, its bullshit. As I outlined above, only the LVSC originates lines, and I can guarantee you they won't share their information with outsiders, especially a known scam artist like RJ Bell and Pregame.
So if someone is tweeting out a hypothetical line, such as "Alabama would be favored by 3 over Clemson on a neutral field", and you can't go into a sportsbook in Las Vegas and bet that Alabama -3/Clemson +3 line, its bullshit.
So where is it coming from? It's probably just the opinion of a sportsbook manager, an ex-sportsbook manager, a sportsbook employee, a gambler, or a tout. In other words, its not coming from the mouth of a consultant who actually originates the line, so therefore, its worthless.
Same goes with power rankings. Unless these supposed "Power Rankings" are coming from the LVSc themselves, its just someone's opinion, and therefore garbage.
What is a tout?
A tout is someone who tries to sell you their picks for sports betting purposes. They will use a lot of shady techniques, scam tactics, and hard selling techniques to suck you in.
Here is the deal with touts. If you truly were a great handicapper and could consistently beat the spread in the long run, why would you need to sell your picks or info? Why not just become filthy rich using your info instead? Answer: Because touts do not have long term winning records, and are simply looking to exploit suckers.
Touts and scam artists use these "hypothetical lines" as bait to suck you into their scam tout operations like lambs to the slaughter
Touts and scam artists like RJ Bell and Pregame love to use gimmicks like "Vegas says hypothetical line between Team A and Team B would be X" because it allows them to act like they have inside information. When they act like they have inside information, they get retweeted and rebroadcast. When they get retweeted and rebroadcast, it appears they have credibility. When it appears they have credibility, people go to their website. When people go to their website, they see flashy headlines pushing their expensive pick packages.
Unsuspecting victims think "Oh, well these guys have inside information, and seem to know their stuff, so I will plop down money on their pick packages and become rich betting on sports with their information!".
Unfortunately, there is no way to verify the long term records of their pick packages without buying the picks yourself. This way, they are allowed to lie and embellish and spin their records to suck people into buying their picks.
Independent watchdogs with money have bought their picks just to track their records, and they have found they are losers long term and will lose their clients money. So basically, they scam people into buying their picks with false advertising, and using gimmicks like the hypothetical Vegas lines to establish false credibility as if they know their stuff and have inside info.
They use other scam tactics and techniques to suck people into buying their expensive pick packages as well, that I will go into another time.
If RJ Bell and Pregame is a scam, then why does ESPN give him a radio show, why does Grantland give him a column, and why does the New York Times cite him as a gambling expert?
ESPN has a stake in the Pregame website and scam. By giving RJ Bell a radio show, this lends him credibility, which leads unsuspecting media outlets like the New York Times to cite him as if he is a gambling expert.
What can be done
If you see someone on twitter talking about a hypothetical Vegas line, check the source. Most likely its not passing the smell test. If it doesn't, don't retweet it, don't rebroadcast it. Just ignore it.
If someone is attributing something to "Vegas", and it can not be wagered on at a Las Vegas book, then its just someone's opinion, and therefore a bunch of malarkey.
"Vegas" is a broad term used to establish credibility, but as I pointed out, "Vegas" could be anything.

So tonight it was all pool with multiple added riders every time!
(What's so great about that?)
I'm glad you asked.
First pick up... Venetian to Golden nugget. A fifteen minute ride at most....girl and her German boyfriend. Headed to I 15 on Sands... (added rider), we now have to pull a u-turn in front of Sands Convention center. Back to 7-11 at Twain and Paradise. Pick up one... Drive back towards freeway on Sands... (rider added)... Another u turn, same exact spot as the first u turn. Back to Corporate Drive and Paradise... Pick up another rider... Back to Venetian to drop him.... (rider added). Go to TI and pick up rider... Drop (7-11 guy) at Spearmint rhino....everyone gets to wait while I get my $20. Off we go (rider added, Trump International) pick up Trump. Drop TI guy at Peppermill... Drop Trump guy at Stratosphere...off we go, get to St Louis and Las Vegas Blvd (rider added) round the block, and back to Allure.
Original Pax girl is now on the phone crying "Sorry we are SO late... Took a pool to save money " (lol)
Pick up at Allure takes 12 minutes (and I wait) .... Drop at the D.
One hour and 18 minutes later I drop off OP (original pax) at GN.
I know two tourists who will never use pool again!
Best part was the way TI guy smelled!
I had no clue pool would add like that. I thought it was 2 stops max on a pool... So delighted it went so wrong for them!
Funny, as I was pulling the first u turn on Sands I muttered "oh here we go" girl asked what I meant and I explained how awful pool was on the way to pick up pax #2
She believed me by the end of the ride!
Uber x from GN to TI full car... Ping to Mirage (pool) as I drop. Three drunk girls show up (I say nothing and start trip (Mandalay Bay) (rider added) go to Caesars...two big guys show up (no room) They go off about the lack of space... ("nothing I can do, cancel if you want") they did at 7 minutes (fee for me) (rider added) go to Cosmo...two pax again ("no room, cancel if you can't fit") they did, another fee.
(rider added) at Monte Carlo... Single rider with suitcases. Drop at Mandalay Bay... Single guy is pissed I didn't go directly to airport and is whining about how he will be late... Go up Koval, turn on to Trop (rider added) Pirhanna at Naples... Two drunk guys added.... Off to airport. Drop at Terminal 3, one of the drunk guys starts complaining he has to pee (rider added) ha-ha! Off to the car rental center. Pick up 2 and head to Henderson.... Get to Green Valley Ranch (casino) drop car rental people, back to freeway. Pax starts do the "pee pee dance" (I can feel him fidgeting as I drive...there is actually a footprint in my back floor carpet from him pressing down on the floor so hard with his foot)
(Rider added) now it's off to Sam's Town.... (pee pee boys are going to Wagon wheel drive) "dude, you gotta stop, I can't hold it anymore" he gets out and pisses right there beside the car in a Dotty's parking lot....i can tell it is upsetting Sam's town couple. I don't care. Drop them.... Drop pee pee boys.
Head back to resort corridor.... Ping to Sunset Station... Pick up two drunk girls (21 if a day) (rider added) pick up Mr smooth at an apartment complex. He starts speed dating them. All the way to UNLV he hit on them.
Drop the poor girls at apartments near UNLV... (rider added) back to the Fruit loop.... Mr smooth smoothie is joined by two screaming queens.... Tables turn and they try speed dating him.
Drop smoothie off in Chinatown... (rider added) pick up a very straight southern couple at golden Tiki.... Uncomfortable silence to palace station, drop off queens at Palace Station (rider added)
Straight couple talk about how violated they feel all the way to pickup at SLS.... Pick up an obvious prostitute... More uncomfortable silence. Drop straight couple off at Circus circus manor.... Drop hooker off in the Alphabet streets.
(another tourist who will never use pool)
Third pool trip.
4 Queens to airport... Pick up two older women with luggage (rider added).. .off to Artesian. Pick up two guys, drop them at Linq... (rider added) go to Caesars....wait 15 minutes for 2 drunk girls.... Off to Mirage (you mean it's next door) (and the opposite direction from airport) ...drop off (rider added) at Mirage, going to Harrahs (across street) drop.... Head towards airport (rider added) pick up drunk at Tuscany suites (rider added) pick up another at Hard Rock....go to Twain and Swenson, drop off Tuscany drunk.... Go to IHOP on Maryland parkway and drop off second drunk (rider added).
Off to pick up at apartments at swenson and Flamingo.... Going to Trop and Wilber. (women are complaining they have 15 minutes to get to airport)
Drop at Liberace Mansion....back to Trop.... (rider added)...back north to Harmon and Paradise ...pick up.... Drop at MGM signature tower 2....off to airport again.
As we approach terminal 3 pax announced they are too late.. Blames me.... Books a room real quick and has me take them to Hooters....announces she is going to sue me as I drop them ("give me your full name! " No you stupid twat, you booked pool, it's YOUR FAULT.)
Whatever... Fuck pool fuckers, they got exactly what they deserved tonight!

I'm travelling to Detroit on a business trip and looking for a good hotel for 7 days. Anywhere within 25 - 30mi from University of Detroit Mercy. I'd say no more than $200 - $215 per night or not much exceeding $1400. My last visit earlier this year (Jan/Feb 2018) I stayed at the Greektown Casino. It was OK.
 
Edit: I've looked at MGM, Motor City, Aloft, The Siren Hotel on Broadway recently caught my attention but I couldn't find a room within budget, and the same for Westin. Just looking for good recommendations. For example RiverWalk Hotel shows as a 4 star hotel, is in my budget, but has a 2 out of 5 review where 5 is best 1 is worst. The Crown Royal I do not want to stay at Greektown Casino again.
 
Unrelated? :At Greektown Casino - I loved the view and location downtown. The shower was fantastic. The AC in the room worked spectacularly. The food wasn't impressive, an old Holiday Inn breakfast was better. The room layout felt small, which was ok, but it also seemed a little dirty there too. Not a very good cleaning service. The robes were awesome to have but dirty/stained. There wasn't adequate storage in my opinion. Other guests were loud. WiFi... what WiFi? The lobby smelled really good and was always very clean, so it was nice coming and going. The staff was incredibly rude with the exception of a couple folks. The valet seemed slow and a waste of money. I really wouldn't complain overall but I wouldn't return to them to give them any of my money again.
 
 
Update: Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions. I never thought to check B&B's or a Lodge. My budget ended up getting cut, so the Westin and like hotels went off my radar. For what it's worth I'll probably never return to Greektown Casino simply because of the crummy food and valet. I'm going to go with Trumbull Porter! Will update the results.
 

Two years ago, I took a look back on my life and thought, was the work I was doing really something I was proud of?
As a kid, I was moved from one foster family in Vegas to another. My parents died before I can remember. My daily routine was as such, no matter what home I was in. I worked out my body during the day and read at night to educate my mind.
As life went on, when I was old enough to work, I started out as a floor sweeper outside of a casino. Later, I made my way up to become a blackjack dealer, eventually working my way up to mechanic—a blackjack dealer who is so good with his hands, he can pull any card from the deck. Since I was one of the best, the house only brought me out to handle the players suspected of card counting. It was good money. But, as most jobs, it got boring. One evening, I decided to tell my boss that I would like to move up; do a little something different. He gave me the once over, saw how tall I was along with how much muscle I had, and asked if I would be interested in security. I told him I was indeed.
That’s when I met the man himself. The one and only, Dana White, the modern day Godfather of Las Vegas. Say what you want about the guy; but to me, he has a mind like no other. He had heard good things about me and partnered me up with a guy named Vino. Vino was an ex-navy seal, who had specialized in combat and torture. He taught me a lot. Some of the things I still have nightmares about to this day. Even though the guy scared me, he was honest. As an example: there was this one guy—Jimmy, I think his name was—who owed the house $75,000 and couldn’t pay. See, if you’re staying at a hotel in Vegas, you can walk into the hotel casino and ask for $25,000 in chips. They will ask for your ID, making you sign a paper, and charge it to your hotel bill. At the end of your stay, if you don’t have the cash, that’s where we have a problem. You deal with people like me.
When Dana found out this Jimmy couldn’t pay, naturally, Vino and I were brought in to settle the dispute. Mediators, if you will. We did our thing and got him to sign his car to us, a Mercedes-Benz convertible SL. Since the car was worth about $100,000, the guy walked away with a good $15,000 in cash. See, we were good people. Honest-like.
Toward my early thirties, I had done a lot of things I wasn’t proud of. I felt myself, getting darker and darker. I was getting too desensitized. I also tortured people for a living when they couldn’t pay. Towards this point in my career, their screams of pain became more of an annoyance, but I couldn’t gag them because I needed information. If they had a stash in a safe somewhere, etc.
Also, I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. It wasn’t fun like it used to be. It became “just a job.” I tried spicing up my torture sessions by adding more of a variety. See, I have this potato peeler, right? Only I replaced the standard blades with sharped razors. Believe it or not, that works. Human skin peels just like a potato. You can shave over and over again, and thin layers of skin will peal right off. It’s a very effective method of torture. You should try it sometime. Dana loved the tool; even wanted one as a Christmas present. As a joke, he named me, “The Carver.”
But, anyways . . . not only did I do torture, I was also in charge of disposals. That’s exactly what it sounds like. If somebody needs to be . . . “handled,” I would take care of the individual and dispose of the body by burying it in the desert. Believe or not, this happens all the time in Vegas. And I was the guy who got it done. But, like I said, after all of these years of committing horrible acts, I didn’t like what I was becoming.
That’s when I talked to Dana and told him what was up. I told him I needed a break. Surprisingly, he was quite understanding. He told me I always had a job waiting for me if I ever wanted to return. I told him thank you.
For the next couple of months, I enjoyed my retirement. I had a lot of money saved up. To thank me for my work, Dana had given me a decent sized house and car. I always suspected that he never wanted me to leave town, that he wanted to keep a close eye on me, and I was fine with that. I didn’t even mind the extra app on my phone that monitored my GPS, or the security system Dana had installed in my house with the cameras constantly recording in every room.
Since I knew a lot about the business, I understood how things worked. I even checked in with him every so often, competed in a couple of poker tournaments to keep up appearances, and went to all the UFC events. I finally felt like I had some sort of happiness, but there was always a void in my life, and I wasn’t sure how to fill it.
Then, one night, everything changed. I happened to be leaving the Luxor when I heard a cry of pain from the main road. It was sloppy. Too many tourists around to hear. When I moved to the alley to investigate, I saw a mugging. Two guys. One girl—one of the prettiest I’d ever seen. Then I realized it wasn’t a mugging when I saw one of the guys undoing his belt buckle.
I took a step forward. “Everything alright?”
With sheer terror on her face, the girl begged for my help. That’s when I noticed who the two guys were. Two small-time dealers who used to work for me at the Mandalay Bay. When they saw who I was, they took off running. It didn’t matter. If I needed to, I could easily find out where they lived.
I approached the lady and handed her my cell. She called the police, and an ambulance arrived. I gave her my number and said if she needed anything to let me know.
A few days later, she called. She told me she wanted to take me out to dinner as a thank you for saving her life. Cassidy was her name. At first, I was a bit reluctant. Guys like me don’t tend to have working relationships. I was more in the nature of buying a whore for the night and calling it a day.
Somehow, she convinced me, and we went out. It actually turned out a lot better than expected. Not getting sex on the first night was kind of a turn on. Not only that, she read a lot and was pretty smart. At the end of that night, I went home with a genuine smile on my face and realized that had not happened in a really long time.
We saw each other a couple of times after that, with each date getting better and better. Two years later we were married, which brings us to the present.
Early February of this year, my world was rocked. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the UFC was negotiating to be bought by some group called the WME-IMG. They put in a bid for 1 billion whereas Dana wanted 5. It was then that Dana came knocking on my door and told me it was time to get back to work. Being that it was going to be at least a billion dollar buy out, he needed me there; somebody he could trust to make sure everything stayed in line. I told him honestly I wasn’t interested in torturing or killing anybody anymore. I was married and I wanted to put that life behind me.
He said that was fine. Because of my size, I was only to be there for presence only. He asked me to do it as a personal favor for him. I agreed. So I went back to work, and was there for everything. For the next five months, seven days a week, I would leave at seven in the morning and not come back until almost midnight on some days.
One night, I came home and found Cassidy snuggled up in our bed. I undressed and gently climbed in only to find that she wasn’t sleeping. She asked how much longer I would be working these hours. I told her the truth. I had no idea. She rolled over on her side, showing me her back. She was pissed, and I knew it.
I sighed and made a silent promise. After this was over, I would make it up to her. A trip—just her and I—to the Bahamas or something. The next day, during my lunch break, I walked over to Victoria Secrets and picked out a lovely black bra and panty set. From the lacy design, I knew they would be perfect on Cassidy. For an extra price, I could have it same day delivered to our house. This was perfect, because I had to return back to the office after lunch.
With a smile that my gift would make things right, I paid, and it was sent to my house.
That night, I went home and found that she was dressed and going out for the evening. Not only that, she was talking on the phone. As soon as I entered the room, I heard her say, “I’ll talk to you later,” and abruptly hung up on whomever she was talking too.
That gave me pause. She had never done that before.
“Everything okay?” I asked, setting my keys on the wall table.
“Y-yes,” she said. Her lip twitched. “It was my mom. She’s considering coming down for the weekend.”
My training from Vino took over. Her demeanor told me something. She was nervous about something. About what though?
“That was your mother on the phone?” I asked.
She cleared her throat. Another sign of lying. “Yes.”
“I see. Heading out?”
“Only for a couple of hours.
“Shopping?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Yes.
Verbal/non-verbal disconnect. She said one thing and her body did another. Another lie.
“Want me to I go with you?”
“It’s okay, you don’t need to worry about it. I shouldn’t be back too late. Promise.”
I smiled. “Okay, I’ll be here when you get back. Love you.”
She approached me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Love you too.”
That was suspicious. Too suspicious. I waited ‘till she left then hopped into my own car and followed her. I knew how to tail people; I’d done it many times. Besides, it was too dark out. She would only see my headlights in her rearview. For the first time in a long time, my heart pumped fast and hard. I just didn’t know what to expect. Light raindrops dotted my windshield as cars whipped pasted.
We drove for about 15 minutes before coming down in front of the MGM. I waited as the valet took her car. She entered the hotel.
I followed, giving my car to the valet as well. When I arrived into the entrance hallway, I saw her talking to another man. He was tall, though didn’t have nearly as much muscle as I did. He was dressed in a tailor made suit and carried a briefcase. Who the hell does that now or days? Carry a briefcase.
He removed his hat then leaned over and kissed her on the lips. She opened her mouth and tongue was exchanged.
My jaw tightened. A spike of anger flowed through me. I clinched my fist. My wife. She was having an affair. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my rising temper. If I was going to deal with this, I needed a plan. It didn’t take long to formulate one.
After they left, I approached the reception lady. She looked at me with a smile as I approached. I told her who I was, that I was a dear friend with the owner of the MGM, which was true. Then I bribed her with all of the cash I had in my pocket. $1200 later, I had the information I needed. The room number: 712. I also asked for the room directly across from them. It was empty. That one I paid with my credit card.
The next twenty minutes were the most agonizing, longest minutes of my life. I paced back and forth the whole time, my head filled with dark images of what was happening on the other side of that door of room 712. I only hoped they were talking. That was it. That had to be it. They were just talking. I would find out soon. Afterward, I settled on cleaning my gun.
When I was ready, I put my gloves on. Tight. Black. Leather. I picked up my gun and slammed the magazine clip into the well. I pulled back the slide release and let it go. It clicked that familiar sound I was used to hearing. It was calming. Blissful. I screwed in the silencer.
I took a breath, readying myself for what I was going to find. I opened my door and stepped to the one across from me. Without a second thought, I kicked the door open, ripping apart the frame. I stepped into the hotel room and closed the door behind me. I took my hat off hung it on the coat tree. I rolled my neck. Chills ran down my arms.
“What the hell is this!” the man yelled, coming into the main room, his focus dead set on me.
He wore a pink, silk robe that hung down to his mid-thighs. The top half with parted open to give me a full view of his hairy chest. One thing I had to say, though: he had a distinct face, with perfect features. Light eyes, dark hair. Striking jawline. A small, strong nose. Quite handsome indeed.
Without a second thought, I shot him in the face. The back of his head exploded. Blood spattered on the door frame behind him.
My wife screamed. The same fearful screams I heard the first night I met her.
I heaved a sigh and walked into the bedroom. When I entered, I paused at what I saw. The room screamed luxurious with mirrored ceilings, a Jacuzzi in the center and a bed that looked the size of two king sized beds pressed together. Glitter pearl wallpaper was on every wall. And it smelled like sex and cigarette smoke. Cassidy laid on the bed, most likely naked behind the blanket, which she used to cover herself.
She stopped screaming. Her eyes widened. “Benny?”
I didn’t say a word. The anger on my face told her all she needed to know. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something. On the floor, was a pair of black, silk panties. Same style as the ones I bought her that day. My mouth went dry. An emotion swelled in my chest that I don’t know how to describe. Like a heart attack without actually having one. I swallowed. Gently, I leaned over and picked them off the floor.
“Benny, I can explain,” she said.
Anger swelled with me. It was them. I gripped the panties in my hand and crushed them. Though it wasn’t physically hurting them, it made me feel better; an outlet for my anger.
“Benny?” she cautiously called out again.
At that, I walked up to her and hit her in the head with the butt of my gun. She was knocked out cold. I lifted her naked ass out of the bed and slung her over my shoulder, fireman style. With my opposite hand, I called Vino. Told him I needed a favor. A clean up in room 712, MGM. He told me it would be his pleasure.
I left the room and waited outside for the valet to retrieve my car. Even though I had a naked woman slung over my shoulder, nobody said a thing. “What happens in Vegas,” is actually a thing. The locals were used to seeing things like this all the time.
When I got home, I handcuffed her and zip tied the chain to the shower head. Then I broke out most of the lights, only leaving the one that shone directly above her. The rest of the bathroom was cloaked in darkness. I grabbed my work bag out of the closet. In it was my tools. Something I hadn’t used for years. Then I walked back into the bathroom, put the lid down to the toilet and took a seat, leaving half of my body bathing in the shadows. I patiently waited for Cassidy to wake up.
An hour later, I heard her groan. It was close to 2:00am.
As soon as she was decently conscious, I began to speak, “I never told you about my life before you.”
I smiled to myself. “Honestly, I thought it would scare you.”
Her jaw twitched. “Benny, what is this?”
She tried to move her hands, clanking metal of shower head echoed.
I continued. “I never told you about the things I had done, about the acts I’ve committed.”
“Benny? Why am I handcuffed?” Her lip quivered.
“I didn’t want you to think differently of me. That I wasn’t the person who you fell in love with.”
Her voice broke. “I-I do love you.”
I smirked and shook my head. “No. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have cheated on me.”
“Are you going to kill me?”
My smile broadened. “Do you think I'm that boring?”
"What does that mean?"
"Don't worry. You'll soon find out enough . . ."
Her panicked gaze met mine. “Please. I-I can explain—”
“You know, when I first met you, there was a void in my life. And I thought that you were the one who filled that void.”
“Benny, pl-please . . .don't—”
“But that wasn’t it. You were not it.” I paused. “I understand now,” I said, more speaking to myself.
Tears streamed down her face. “I don’t know what that means!”
“See, that void was my old job. I loved doing what I used to do. The only thing I needed was a break is all, not stopping altogether. I-I’ve missed it so much. It was calling to me the whole time and yet, I didn’t answer.”
“Wh-what are you talking about!” she yelled at me, shaking her hands violently.
“Shh, ssh, it’s okay. It's okay,” I soothed. I stood up, shushing her by putting my finger to her lips.
“Let me show you,” I said softly. “Let me show you exactly what I am talking about . . .”
Then I took out my potato peeler and got to work. She cried, screamed, begged for me to stop. I heard her pleas, assuring her that it would be over soon, just to let go. She didn’t. I continued. In some places, I even shaved it down to the bone. After I applied the rubbing alcohol, she screamed so loud, her voice gave out.
It was interesting, as I was doing this, I found true happiness once again. The blissful pleasure calling out to me to do what needed to be done. I cried that night. Why? Because I was happy. It was like making love for the first time, and I was ready to release it all.
Four hours later, it was done. I held her in my arms as she took her last breath, a brief shutter before going still. On the shower floor were hundreds of slices of flayed flesh.
Truthfully, she should have been proud of herself of lasting as long. Most people don’t, though I’d never tortured a woman before. I guess it is true what they say. They have a better tolerance to pain then men. From experience, I can tell you that is a fact. Even in torture.
When I was done, I called Dana. I told him, “I’m ready to come back to work full time. To help you with anything you need.”
I heard him smile on the opposite end of the phone. “Good to hear, I knew you’d back home eventually. They always do.” He paused. “How about I send along Vino in the morning and have him clean up that bathroom of yours. Free of charge.”
I knew he would be watching from the security camera. I didn’t care. Dana was a good guy. I knew he had my back. He probably already had taken care of the security footage at the MGM as well as made sure the staff kept their mouths shut.
“Sounds good. Thanks, Dana.”
I hung up the phone. Afterward, I took a shower, directly next to my wife’s body and cleaned myself up. It had been a long night and I was tired. If I was going to get back to work tomorrow, I needed to be well rested. Then I went to bed with a smile on my face. Everything was great. Perfect even.
As I look back, at the beginning, I asked if this type of work was something I could be proud of. The answer is yes. Yes, it is.

• Grave

TLDR; 20 something couple who has been to Vegas before stayed at Hooters Hotel and Casino 4 nights, 5 days with airfare and resort fee for $887 and it was worth every penny.
Hooters Hotel and Casino: With the flight, hotel and resort fee we paid $444 a person which we thought was too good to pass up. The hotel wasn't as bad as I expected it to be but it was pretty old. It is located a short walk to the strip which accessible by going into Tropicana located next door and using a bridge. When we booked this trip we only expected to be at this hotel to sleep at night and we ended up staying there for a lot more since it beat our expectations.
Some parts of the hotel are "nice" and newish and some aren't. The new parts will NEVER be comparable to many of the casino's listed in the faq(even the budget ones) but that doesn't make it bad. If you are a regular person that doesn't need fancy shit or all you plan on doing is sleeping here(bachelobachelorette party or 21st birthday) it's great. The casino was small and never crowded, it was great for gambling a bit at the end of the night since it's almost impossible to get lost or lose whoever you are with. There was a cafe area with a coffee place, Krispy Kreme donuts and a Pizza Hut. There was also a pool bar, Hooters, and Steak n' Shake. They boasted about free parking, $15 buckets of bud light, and $1 margaritas inside the casino bar. The room service seemed incredibly cheap but we did not use it.
Our room was average and as far as we know it was not one that was recently remodeled. The bathroom wasn't very nice and the safe was busted. It looked as if the Bathroom had been done about 10 years ago and the glaze was coming off of the bathtub corners. The room was clean and it had two awkward chairs that belonged in the 70's around a small table. We both thought that a reclinechair was missing from the room due to empty space. The bed was very comfortable and we slept amazing. The AC was ice cold and we had a tiny balcony overlooking the pool. It was $25 a night for a mini-fridge which we decided against and I kept filling up bags of ice and moving it from the sink when needed. If you are not flying in, bring a cooler and save yourself the money or go buy a cheap cooler at Walgreens on the strip for $8. The pool was very clean and quiet, it felt like we were the only people there most of the time and I got a ton of reading done. You couldn't bring your own alcohol or food and the security was tight. The menu seemed decently priced for a pool in vegas.
If you stay at Hooters I highly recommend purchasing the Hooya One Pass, it comes with two different show tickets, a coupon for a free margarita, buy 10 wings get 10 wings, and a 1 hour open bar with wings NIGHTLY between 5-6 pm. At the same bar the drinks cost $5 during happy hour and we watched numerous hotel guests spend more than $20 on drinks in just that hour. I must've eaten about 100 wings and had over 30 drinks the entire trip because of this pass. The bartenders were really great to us during the open bar and we always had a drink in our hand. It saved us a ton of money on dinnelunch but I would've liked to have done one more nice dinner. It also would have been nice if we didn't have to go back to the hotel for 5pm every day but, my GF and I really enjoyed the happy hour, a nap, and a shower before going out for the night(not always in that order).
It seemed like a lot of teenage kids were staying in the hotel for a basketball tournament or something and I never saw any parents. I observed a bunch of people staying in some rooms and the kids would sit outside of the room to charge their phones in the hallway. We had one issue with the kids, we were trying to go down and two girls got off our floor, when we got in the elevator all of the buttons were pressed to go up. It wasn't a big deal to us but it could be to people looking to make a show or relax and not have to deal with that crap. The elevator was also kind of shady and it seemed like it skipped our floor or something a few times when trying to go down. I don't know it it happens a lot but both of these things probably don't happen at places on the strip.
Monday: We left my house at 3:30 am and flew Spirit Airlines from Newark to LAS which landed at 8:40 am. I'll never fly spirit again if I can help it. It was a $14 taxi to the Hotel where they wanted to charge a $25 early check in fee, we debated and decided to drop off our luggage and explore the area so that we could stay up a little longer before crashing since we got roughly 3 hours of sleep. While walking the strip we decided to get a quick bite to eat at Bubba Gump Shrimp Company since there is one in NYC and we've always wanted to go. We each got a flavored margarita which we normally don't get and they were pretty good, she got a shrimp po' boy, and I got calamari and a gigantic bucket of french fries. We mostly went to some shops for gifts and got supplies like shampoo, sunscreen and water for the week at Walgreens and the Liquor store. We checked in at 2:30, unpacked and took a nap. Between 5-6 we had an open bar(well and domestic drafts) at the pool bar with complementary wings and vegetables because we purchased the Hooyah One Pass for $20. At 7pm we took a Lyft to Freemont for a tour at Bangor Brewing. We had a flight and 2 or 3 beers. The guy giving us the tour waited patiently for us since our driver didn't follow directions and we were late. We were the only people on the tour but the place was pretty packed for a while. We explored Freemont Street for the remaining of the night which was very fun and interesting. If I had a kid under the age of 9 I wouldn't bring them but it honestly wasn't that bad besides some girls in thongs, pasties, and dominatrix looking girls(if your kid has an Instagram they have seen worse). Security walked a beat like they were riot cops and one came up to us and told us we couldn't drink in cans on Freemont and that we could drink out of plastic cups instead. He was really cool and I swore he was a cop until we saw real cops. Heads up to anyone. I really liked the vibe of Freemont but the light show was honestly terrible, I may have been spoiled by light shows at concerts and sporting events from a previous job, my girlfriend thinks that the show just needed different music...
Tuesday: We woke up around 8:30 am and went to breakfast at the Steak n' Shake in Hooters. The food was average but service was slow(we never went back). We went to the pool for an hour or two before we went to a timeshare sales pitch for fun and free stuff(buffet and freeplay). I did the math and the $9,999 timeshare came out to be $33,000 over seven years. Once I gave the numbers and said no the guy became a HUGE dick. Sadly, one person bought one. Once the timeshare pitch was finished we went to the liquor store again. We got lunch at Taco's and Tequila where we split nachos and each had a few margaritas. I think they were some of the best margaritas I've ever had. Later we napped and went to the open bar before going to use my freeplay. After we finished loosing $100 in freeplay and getting tons of free drinks, I decided I had to go and see what a dispensary was like. I don't know the rules about posting about this so I will answer questions in a PM. I will also elaborate with a mod's approval since I think it could be really helpful. After getting back to the hotel we went to Hooters for some more wings and went to bed.
Wednesday: We hung out at the pool for a few hours and we went exploring again. We walked around 15 miles this day and I wish we'd had gotten a light rail pass or Ubered to the end of the strip and walked back. We both like exploring things though so none of us mentioned it until it was too late. We didn't have anything planned for this day until we got back to the hotel and looked at all of the comedy clubs. We decided on the late show to see Jimmy Shubert at the Laugh Factory in Tropicana because it was close by and I actually knew of the opening act, Jason Lawhead, because of Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast. It was a pretty good show for the price we paid, and we got to see the worst heckler ever get thrown out. The night got hazy for me and I think we went to Hooters for some wings, fries, and onion rings before going to our room and passing out(probably with my shoes on).
Thursday: We actually had plans! We woke up with purpose and got breakfast at Coco's Bakery, a short walk from where we were staying. It was cheap and some of the better breakfast food I've had in a while including some of the diners here in NJ, I wish we could've gone again. After breakfast, we went to the pool before heading to the Mirage for a late lunch buffet thanks to Tahiti Village. Next, we used MyVegas rewards at New York New York for buy one get one crepes at 48th and Crepe which were amazing and we cashed in a ticket for buy one get one 40 oz beers at Tom's Urban. It was happy hour so the beers were under the voucher limit and we basically got them for free + tip which was great considering their somewhat decent selection of draft beer. We went back to the open bar for 5pm, napped and got ready for dinner at Black Tap in the Venetian which was everything I thought it would be and more. I wish I had room for a Crazy Shake but I could barely finish my burger and I only ate 3 onion rings, luckily there is one in NYC. At 10pm we saw John Caparulo at Harrah's. The show was average and I think he could've really used an opening act to get the crowd going instead of awkwardly walking on stage. It was pretty empty, we got GA cheap seats and got moved up to the 5th row. We gambled pretty late and made fun of all the people waiting in line at the club at MGM Grand at 2:30 in the morning, these people looked miserable and hadn't even been in the club yet. I don't miss those days.
Friday: We laid in bed for most of the morning since there was not an option for a late checkout and we weren't leaving for the Airport until 8 PM. We double and triple checked for everything and I swear I packed a few things that I can no longer find(it's not a vacation until I've lost something). We checked out around 11am and stored our luggage with the valet. We went to the M&M Store and did the free 3d movie which was pretty entertaining since I don't think I have ever seen a 3d movie before. We decided on going to the Bodies exhibit at Luxor which was pretty cool but probably not worth $30 with an MLife card. We also took the tram to Mandalay Bay which was pretty nice but very empty and kind of eerie. It also smelled like a funeral home or church or something. We cashed in another couple of MyVegas rewards and went to Tom's Urban again for 40oz beers(on happy hour). We also ordered the two way fries which consisted of shoe string and sweet potato fries. They were out of this world! Finally we went to Coyote Ugly for buy one get one drinks(MyVegas). My GF has always wanted to go here but none of her friends ever would go with her. We both fell in love with the bartender and we talked for about an hour about life in Vegas before heading back to the open bar and did some last minute gift shopping.
In all we did a lot of gambling, walking around, and exploring. We also talked with a ton of locals and tried to get a feel for the place. I'm not a fan of most shows and she had seen most of them in her previous travels. I really wanted to change the hotel after booking it and she kept insisting that it'd be fine. Besides using MyVegas a trick we learned was to use your Mlife card for anything you purchase inside an MGM casino, it doesn't matter if you are buying show tickets or a frozen drink, you'll get points from your purchase. I expect to get a ton of comps to use at the Borgata and I think we are coming back for the Golden Knights/Devils game in January.
My total expenses for the trip came out to be $1190.75 based on all of my credit card statements and cash that I had left over in my wallet. This includes my half of the hotel, resort, plane and all of the booze, rides, and gambling I did.

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"

The Hunters split up into two teams. They coordinate their movements and enter the hotel at the same time. The roof team by helicopter and the ground team by running through the entrance doors. During the helicopter ride, Commander Ford takes out his H-Pod and sings the lyrics to this song.
The Roof Hunters land on the hotel’s roof with Ford taking the lead and busting down the rooftop door. Down the stairwell the hunters go. The first door, the number 15th painted on it, is torn off its hinges. Ford charges in, ready to face the unknown. The Roof Hunters follow Ford into the luxury suite. They see puddles of blood and signs of struggles, broken furniture, but no bodies. The Hunters move onward. With Commander Ford in the lead, they rush down the stairwell to the next floor.
The Ground Hunters dart through the casino, silently sprinting up the still escalators. The SWAT soldiers are two steps behind the Ground Team and as the hunters finish scanning the 2st floor, the SWAT soldiers are halfway through the 1st.
Inside the Grand Hong View Hotel, it’s pitch dark with a small amount of moon light shining through the windows. Even though the electricity is dead, the lights flicker on, and then off, every so often, just enough to stop your pupils from settling. As the hunters scan their surroundings, every wall is covered in a layer of nen, as if the walls were made of half drywall and half nen. The hotel is dead silent except for the sound of your beating hearts and the SWAT’s heavy-booted footsteps.
The Ground Team sees the casino a chaotic mess. Almost every store in the shopping mall looks like it experienced a Category 3 Black Friday Sale stampede. Those guests sure were scared of those gunshots, yet couldn’t pass up a five finger discount. As the SWAT swept through the shopping mall floors, they find the bodies of the police force scattered all about. It looks like the cops were running away from something and blunt trauma ended their struggle. The heavy aura wrapping around the hotel’s walls stops Rayen’s En from expanding past any walls or doors. As the SWAT opens up each new door, Rayen’s En expands into the new area, like water bursting from a dam.
Both Hunter teams could smell a heavy putrid stench of blood and guts and puke. This smell simultaneously came from everywhere and nowhere. As the hunters took in more of their surroundings and as they scanned for enemies, traps, civilians, and invisible clues; the hunters began to notice, with each blink of their eyes and with each new darting glance, that their surroundings were ever so slightly changing. After each new flicker from the ceiling lights, they could see new textures on the walls and furniture.
These minuscule changes in the hotel’s appearance were fully noticed by the Roof Team right as they entered the 13th floor and met face to face with their enemy. The Ground Team fully noticed what kind of world they had stepped into when they finished scanning the 4th floor and heard gunshots coming from the 2nd floor.

Roof Hunters Encounter #1

The hunters enter the 13th floor and they hear groans off in the distance. They can’t see far in this darkness. Ford doesn’t care, he’s fearless and charges forward into the 13th floor penthouse suite.
• Ford is in the middle of the living room. Van Halen is two steps behind Ford. Shinji is right inside the room’s entrance. Ranjeat is still in the stairwell.
• Two bloodied-up maids are in the bedroom.
• A Body Builder breaks the bathroom wall down.
• A dog jumps out from behind a couch.
• A man crawling underneath the table
• Two teenagers are hanging from the ceiling.
• These monsters rush at Ford and Van Halen.

Ground Hunters Encounter #2

The hunters look down to the shopping mall’s lower levels and sees the SWAT soldiers yelling, screaming, and shooting at what? Furniture and the dead cops. The furniture is moving and tackling the SWAT soldiers. The dead cops are up and charging too. Combine this gif with this video and that’s what the hunters are up against. 20 dead cops and 40 furniture pieces are fighting the SWAT. When a SWAT soldier dies, he rises up as a corpse and attacks the still living. The SWAT are scattered across the whole 2nd floor.
EDIT: The 3 Hunters + 5 golems are on the 4th floor and can see below the whole unfolding battlefield. SWAT soldiers are split up in 6-man squads, each in a different section of the mall's 2nd floor. How will the hunters defeat this encounter? Do they split up with each hunter helping a separate squad? Or do they stick together and move from shop to shop helping each SWAT squad one by one. The soldiers are outnumbered, but are holding their own through teamwork. Each squad has three soldiers carrying a tower shield and metal baton. Behind the shield wall are two soldiers wielding assault rifles and one wielding a shotgun.

Name	Owner	Description	Sub-Team
Akinobu Chiho	hunterxassassin	Archer	Ground
Rayen Goodday	Kairos__	Unique En user	Ground
Virgil Clemens	Ventus_X_Ventus	Golem manipulator	Ground
Shinji Grimshaw	Pecsus	Grim Reaper	Roof
Ranjeat Marshvel	CrushedByUvogin	Security specialist with lights, camera, and Memory Blasts!	Roof
Van Halen	Othasuke_Higashikata	Boomerang Enhancer	Roof
Ford	aamarketer	Armored Boxer	Roof